Red is a bit tired of having to translate the raving gibberish of the dying throes of the Reality TV Show Joke of a Presidential Administration. So this may be the last time Red does this for a while. Oh, who is Red kidding? This is just to much fun to go after such low-hanging fruit.
| Thank you, Red,|
It’s been heartwarming (in addition to the acid reflux from the 3 Big Macs I wolfed down today) to see all of the tremendous support across the Nation from great American Patriots, like YOU (and the Proud Boys). Organic rallies (organic in that they were organized by my team of sycophants) have been springing up all over the Country in support of yours truly – incredible (even unbelievable) !
One thing has become clear these last few days, I am the American People’s ALL-TIME favorite President (They showed their love by voting against me in droves. And yes, there is absolutely no end to my narcissism and megalomania) .
For years, the Democrats have been preaching (even though they are atheists to a man) how unsafe and RIGGED our Elections have been (where do I get this stuff?). Now, they are saying what a WONDERFUL job the Trump Administration did in making 2020 the most secure Election ever. Which is true, except for what the Left did: THEY RIGGED THE ELECTION! (that literally makes no sense but I’m counting on you to be too stupid to figure that out).
I promise you we are fighting to ensure EVERY SINGLE LEGAL ballot is counted, Red (as long as it was a vote for me). I have legal teams (packed with soon to be disbarred lawyers) on the ground in every critical state (getting their asses whipped). All I need now is YOUR SUPPORT (to pay off my massive campaign debt – please don’t read the fine print when making your donation).
The states in question should immediately be put in the Trump WIN column (by ignoring the actual votes and mostly because I said so. God, Putin wouldn’t put up with this shit.). Biden did not win (ignore that 6 million vote margin), he lost by a lot (its opposite day)!
I need my strongest supporters (suckers) to step up during this critical time (before my eminent indictment for multiple crimes). Can I count on you?
Donald J. Trump
President of the United States (Convict number yet to be assigned)