“Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?”

Jim Bouton

True, but why is there no “long-stop”?

Last week 1-5. For the season 11-13.  Time for the Constanza method.

Your KC Royals Pick of the Week

Rams over Chiefs.  To compensate for my pick of the Royals to win the WS, I am picking the Rams to upset the Chiefs this week.  Rams offense is picking up.  Austin Davis looks like the actual NFL-ready version of Case Keenum.  You know the same guy who handed it to Keenum and the Cougs in the 2011 Conference USA Championship game that ended their dream of an undefeated season and a BCS bowl game.  You know the same guy that is starting for the Rams while Case polishes the pine.  Yeah, that guy.  He should pick apart the Chiefs’ altogether pathetic secondary.  Throw in Tre Mason romping up and down the field and things are looking up in Missouri.  Just in time for the team to move back to LA.   St. Louis 24 Kansas City 14.

Your San Francisco Giants Aren’t Playing So Move Across the Bay Pick of the Week.

Raiders over Browns. Is baby brother the real deal, too?  Young Mr. Carr seems to have some qualities that were lacking in big bubba.  Like the ability to not end up on his ass every fifth or sixth play.  The Raiders are not completely devoid of offensive talent – almost – but not completely.  They aren’t ranked 32^nd for nothing.  And then again there is the atrocious Browns defense.  It’s a case of the unstoppable object meeting the immovable force – Yeah, you read that right.   So what if the Raiders are off to their worst start in 52 years.  Every dog has its day.  And anything that brings Johnny Douchenozzle closer to starting – well I’m all for that. Oakland 13 Cleveland 9.

Your World Series Pick of the Week.

Lions over Falcons.  Live from venerable Wembley Stadium in London. This game will air at 6:30 am on Sunday morning on the west coast.  I like some American football with my tea and toast.  The Lions have been feasting on the old and infirm –but that’s what you do to get to the playoffs and your defense is pathetic.  The competition gets better very quickly so they had better take advantage of the train wreck that is the Falcons right now.  If possible, the Falcons are following up their season of disappointment with even a worse season than the hapless Texans.  Maybe a change of scenery will help.  Probably not. Detroit 35 Falcons 30.

Your Too Many Men Pick of the Week.

Cowboys over OTNA’s.  At this point one has to be resigned to the inevitability of the Cowboys making the playoffs. They have at most 5 potential losses left on the schedule barring their standard December meltdown.  If it comes down to having to beat the OTNA’s again in Maryland in the last game of the season, I don’t see Colt McCoy riding to the rescue of the true Cowboy-haters.  Jackson and Garcon are a nice one-two punch at wide-out and Morris is 3 yard back.  Except for complete lack of continuity, the OTNA’s should have a better record.  But unless someone figures out how to stop the bruising rushing attack of the Cowboys, it’s going to be a long season. Arlington 23 Landover, Md.16.

Your Smarty Pants Pick of the Week.

Cardinals over Eagles. The toughest game of the week to call straight up and not an easy money line pick either with the Cards getting 2.5 at home.  Not a tough call is NFL game of the week here (Yeah, I know I called the Colts drubbing of the Bengals the game of the week last week).  This one should not disappoint.  I have both of these teams in the playoffs with the Eagles as my pick to win it all, but there are always some bumps on the road. Arizona 34 Philadelphia 27.

Your Ball Four My Ass Pick of the Week.

Titans over Texans. You will never go wrong picking the Texans to underperform.  And they make their season debut in the Shit Bowl this week.  I held off as long as I could, but face it; the Texans suck and I was a fool to think that they had left their legacy of losing behind them.  Looking at it objectively, they should annihilate the Titans right?  Anyone, anyone?  All they are annihilating right now is their fan base.  What new and innovative way will they find to lose this week?  Maybe I’ll finally write that novel this weekend to avoid having to watch this doleful doo-doo deathmatch. Tennessee 24 Houston 23.