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Quote for the Day

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“We’re here to let you know that the Texas speaker’s race is over. The House is ready to go.”

Rep. Dennis Bonnen (R-Angleton)

Bonnen appears primed to become the next Texas Speaker of the House.  Bonnen was something of a dark horse having repeatedly denied that he was interested in the job.  But support rather quickly coalesced around the feisty conservative and he claimed he had over 100 votes for Speaker – well above the 76 needed.  Bonnen has been a member of the house since 1997 and is a predictable “red meat” conservative vote on restricting abortion rights, promoting guns in the public arena, imposing onerous requirements on welfare recipients, and reducing public school funding.  He was also one of outgoing Speaker Joe Strauss’ lieutenants serving as Speaker Pro Tempore. Bonnen, however, does look to be something of a thorn in the side of Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick as he has clashed with the bombastic blowhard before.   The House will look different as Democrats picked up 12 seats and now may able to form coalitions with the few remaining moderate Republicans to advance some issues or block some of the more rabidly right-wing measures Bonnen has supported in the past.  Maybe Bonnen is smart enough to realize that there is a new game in Austin.  Or maybe not.

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Red Watches Ultimate

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Red watched some American Ultimate Disc League (AUDL) games on ESPN earlier this year and found the sport to be surprisingly well-adapted for TV, fast moving and reasonably entertaining.  This semi-pro league is organized along sensible and sustainable lines with the players receiving a share of the gate and an interest in the team.  The current champion Madison Radicals have been in the league since 2013 and defeated the Dallas Roughnecks in August to claim the title.   The other Texas based team is the Austin Sol.

The rules are fairly simple as two teams face each other with the goal of scoring goals by passing a disc down the field.  Of course it’s a bit more complicated than that, but there is one rule that Red particularly likes.  After a goal is scored the teams switch sides – or in the words used on the playgrounds of Red’s youth – LOSERS WALK!

Red’s NFL Picks 2018 – Week 11

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Well Red was 3-3 for the week and running in place at 24-27 for the week.  Red will not bet against the Saints again.  He did call the Titans upset over the Patriots – so take that.

Your Game of the Week Game of the Week – Chiefs over Rams.  Well sometimes it just speaks for itself.  This one needs no hype.  Two 9-1 teams (with both losses having come against stiff competition) roll into Estadio Azteca on del noche del proximo Lunes for this mid-season AFC/NFC marquee showdown.  The winner gets bragging rights and an inside track to a top playoff seed (the Rams need some help in that regard).  Red isn’t sure when there last was an AFC/NFC matchup of this caliber this late in the season.  These are the two top scoring offenses in the league and unless the turf in Mexico City is just awful, the Mexican faithful can expect a fireworks show extraordinaire.  Yes, Red knows that sometimes this turns into a tight defensive struggle, but he just can’t see it here with all the weapons that Mahomes and Goff have at their disposal guiding by two coaches who do not believe in holding their fire.  This could last a while so load up on the guacamole and nachos and enjoy the fiesta.  Red sticks with his Superb Owl favorite in this one.  Kansas City 48 Los Angeles 40.

Your National TV Game of the Week – Vikings Bears.  Sunday night is overshadowed by the explosive Monday night game between the Chiefs and Rams.  Still this is a good matchup between two teams fighting for the NFC North lead going into the home stretch.  Although Red doesn’t see either of these teams factoring two much into the playoffs, this is still a big game that could decide this division.  Definitely worth watching and please God – let there be snow on Sunday night in the Windy City.  Red is ready for an old fashioned blizzard game.  Alas, there is a chance for light snow on Saturday.  Chicago 17 Minnesota 14.

Your Disappointing Game of the Week – Packers over Seahawks.  The 4-5 Seahawks seem to be appearing in a lot of Your DGOW’s this season – and rightfully so.  The only question Red has is – why no one seems to talk about a “hot seat” for Pete the Cheat.  Maybe if he loses this one, the old rocking chair will be at least tepid.  Meanwhile, the Packers at 4-4-1 are the very picture of disappointment.  Ennui reigns this week as the winner keeps slim playoff hopes alive while the loser looks into the abyss of six more meaningless weeks of pain.  Green Bay 24 Seattle 17.

Your Texas Game of the Week – Texans over OTNAs.  Even if Red believed in Alex Smith, Adrian Peterson and the rest of the OTNA crew, he could never pick them to win this game or almost any game that wasn’t against the Cowboys.  Yes the OTNAs are one of the biggest surprises of the year coming into this game at 6-3 leading the NFC East.  But keep in mind that the OTNAs have scored exactly 176 points this season (that’s less than half of what the Chiefs have totaled) and given up 175.  Talk about your smoke and mirrors!   And what is truly amazing is that the OTNAs have scored fewer points than any team in the pathetic excuse for a professional football division (“PEFPFD”) that is the NFC East.  Yes the Giants have scored more points (well one more point) than the OTNA’s.  On the other hand, the Texans have to be the biggest in-season resurrection surprise so far.  From 0-3 to 6-3 is no easy feat even against mediocre competition.  Red thinks the Texans resurgent defense keeps this one close enough for the Texans to eke out a win on the road.  Braves take the wrong warpath and end up in Delaware.  Houston 24 Landover, MD 19.

Your Time Zone Hex Game of the Week – on Hiatus – Your Kick Ass Game of the Week – Falcons over Cowboys.  This is the game most likely to turn into the dreaded field goal fest of yore.  Atlanta 18 Arlington 9.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – Cardinals over Raiders.  Well folks, it doesn’t get any smellier than this one.  In fact, the fumes from this one are already driving Red to distraction and away from the old keyboard.  Red thinks you will be entirely justified in unloading two shells from your Browning Superposed 20 gauge into the old 54 incher before halftime of this beastly BM battle.  Even the emaciated and staggering ghost of Dead Al Davis can no longer complain at this point.  The Gruden Raiders are a joke.  Just make sure the wife and kids are off at the movies.  Arizona 10 Oakland 0.

Quote for the Day

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“There has to be a complete overhaul of the organization.”

Troy Aikman on the Dallas Cowboys (and a not so discreet smack down of Jerry Jones) a team that has won exactly two playoff games in the last 20 years, but equally applicable to the current state of the party formerly known as the GOP.

As Red has mentioned, he is perfectly okay with the Cowboys winning one playoff game every decade and they already have their win for the Teens when they eked out a come from behind win over the Lions in 2014.

How Trumph – the Insult Comic President™ – Makes Appointment Decisions

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Red is now privy to a top-secret White House memorandum which outlines the fascinating process by which the Trumph administration vets and selects candidates to fill the most sensitive and important positions in the executive branch.  As a marker of his efficiency, Trumph has streamlined the process which under previous presidents was unduly onerous and time consuming.  It is now a straightforward four step inquiry.

  1. Does this person have a well-established track record as a conservative partisan political hack (bonus points for appearances on Fox News praising me – extra bonus points for being a Fox News employee)?
  2. Has this person engaged in unethical, fraudulent or questionable business practices involving the fleecing of average Americans?
  3. When push comes to shove, will this person set aside any moral convictions they might have, any allegiance to the rule of law or the U.S. Constitution, any consideration of past precedent or institutional norms and cover my fat ass at all costs without consideration of damage to their personal or political reputations?
  4. If yes, yes and yes – hire them!

 

Texas Elects a Lot of Democratic Judges

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One important election result that likely passed under the nose of most observers was the drastic transformation of the Texas Courts of Appeals on Tuesday.   There are fourteen Courts of Appeals in Texas varying in size from 3 to 9 judges (technically called justices) with a total of 80 appellate justices statewide.  Before Tuesday night these courts were dominated by Republicans with only a handful of Democratic judges on the El Paso and Corpus Christi courts.  The Democrats swept through the Dallas (5th) , Austin (3rd) , San Antonio (4th) and both Houston (1st and 14th) courts on Tuesday.   Those five courts and the El Paso and Corpus Christi courts will now have Democratic majorities.  The only court of appeals based in a major urban county that remains in Republican control is the Fort Worth (2d) court.  Even that may change in another couple of years.  The remaining courts under Republican control (Amarillo, Beaumont, Eastland, Texarkana, Tyler and Waco) cover the more rural areas of the state and typically do not get as many high profile cases.  This is a major shift as the now Democratic controlled courts of appeals are the end of the line for a large number of the most hotly contested cases in Texas.  Very few cases reach the still Republican dominated Texas Supreme Court.

Six More Years of Lyin’ Ted

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Red can hardly wait to see all the great things that Rafael “Lyin’ Ted” Cruz (TP- Tex.) is going to do for our fair state over the next six years.  When Red considers all of LT’s fantastic legislative achievements he is reminded of – well, Red’s not really sure what he is reminded of – maybe a freshly erased chalkboard, a losing lottery ticket, a fallow field, an empty pistol, erectile disfunction, the Rice Owls football team . . .

Anyhow, Beto O’Rourke gave it a good shot and maybe Texas just isn’t ready for someone who actually wants to represent Texas interests in Congress.  Texans apparently want someone who is there for the greater glorification of their own ego and naked ambition.  Someone who is willing to sell their soul to the devil on the cheap.  Someone who kowtows to the man who insulted their wife and father.  Someone proven to be a spineless weasel when his political life was on the line. Someone who only spoke the truth once when he called Trump a “pathological liar” and “utterly amoral.”  Someone who is so disliked in the Senate that he cannot form a coalition to get anything passed.  Well friends, that is exactly what you got in Lyin’ Ted.  At least it seems that the servile Canadian immigrant will not challenge the Alpha Dog Trump in 2020.  He cannot bite the hand that feeds.  So LT will set his sights on 2024 but by then will anyone be paying attention?