Donald Trump Reads Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution

Since most of you out there (much like Trump) won’t take the time to actually read Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution, Red will give you the Article as Trump would read it – as if he could be bothered with such triviality.

The executive Power (totally unlimited despite what follows) shall be vested in a President of the United States of America (that’s me). He shall hold his Office (it’s all mine) during the Term of four Years  (or more if I feel like it), and, together with the Vice President (usually a bozo like Sleepy Joe), chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector (this stuff is only important because it’s the only way I could get elected). 

* * *

The Congress may determine the Time of chusing (good spelling) the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

No Person except a natural born Citizen (hear that Lying Ted?), or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years (unless really hot like Ivanka!), and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States (or one of Jeffrey Epstein’s houses).

In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office (never gonna happen so forget this shit), the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.

The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation (a pittance), which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them (is that like an unguent?).

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—”I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States (as long as it doesn’t get in my way).”

Section. 2.

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States (because, you know, I am really good at war), and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion (as if I needed that – or would read it), in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate (pack of weasels), to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies (I’ve filled a few vacancies in my life – if you know what I mean) that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section. 3.

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union (totally great from the minute I took office – a complete shithole before that), and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers (please bring presents); he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed (if I feel like it), and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section. 4.

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors (pay no attention to this part).

Section 5

And most importantly, he can do whatever he wants to. 

1 thought on “Donald Trump Reads Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution

  1. Pingback: Texas blog roundup for the week of July 29 – Off the Kuff

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