“If football players were armed with guns, there wouldn’t be stadiums large enough to hold the crowds.” Irwin Shaw
Alas, Red thinks Mr. Shaw is correct. He wrote a short story that very much impressed me when I read it many years ago called “The Eighty Yard Run.” Among the better sports related short stories that weren’t written by Ring Lardner. Recommended reading.
For the year, Red was 31-35 over the 11 weeks that he made picks. Proceed at your own risk.
Your “Gunfight at the OK Corral” Pick of the Week.
Broncos over Colts. The old gunslinger meets the new quick-draw kid. Yeah, PMS (that’s “Peyton Manning Starting” for first time readers) looks old and tired. And yes, Andrew Luck is the wunderkind. But this game will be focused elsewhere. And it’s focused mainly on the inherent weaknesses in a Colts team which has largely over-performed and benefitted from playing in the worst division in the NFL. First point of order – the Colts have a limited running game featuring big-names Dan Herron and Zurlon Tipton. At least they are fresh, not having been overworked during the season. Meanwhile the Trent Richardson trade is looking more and more disastrous. Second point of order – the Colts only get to the QB when they blitz and blitzing PMS is not typically an effective strategy. They have only given up one sack a game and PMS is too good at exploiting man coverage. Third point of order – the Colts have been torn up by tight ends all year and the Broncos will take advantage of that. Julius Thomas leads all tight ends with 12 TD’s! Not that the Broncos are void of weaknesses, but they are a much more balanced team than the Colts. It will be close but the Broncos will win if they control the clock and PMS doesn’t throw up a duck farm. Denver 31 Indianapolis 27.
Your “Guns and Roses” Pick of the Week
Panthers over Seahawks. There is no reason for this pick other than Red’s sense of poetic justice as a 7-9 Seahawks team took down the reigning SB Champion Saints in 2011. It was the first and only playoff win by a team with a losing record until the Panthers dispatched the Cardinals last week. Let the tables be turned. Carolina 17 Seattle 16.
You’re “They’ll Take My Gun Away From Me When It’s Hot and Empty” Pick of the Week.
Packers over Cowboys. Is there anything more sickening than watching Chris Christie’s fat belly shake with excitement right before he hugs Jerry Jones? Not in Red’s book. Cowboys were lucky to escape with a win against a Lions team that lived up to its reputation. Without the big screw up by the Lions at the end of the first half, the Cowboys likely lose, but the Lions as expected screwed the pooch and the Boys move onto Wisconsin where it aint so hospitable. This is looking like a career-defining game for both Rodgers and Romo (sounds like a song-writing team). Rodgers is 31 and in the prime of his career. If he can’t go the Superb Owl with this team and home field advantage, the window is closing but still open enough to think he will be able to get back there. Romo is old but not yet tired. He has almost nothing to show for his tenure in Dallas and this is probably his last best shot. Everything clicked for the Cowboys this year. They had 4 quality wins over the Seahawks, Eagles, Colts and Texans. Most teams don’t get that many in a season. (Note: Packers also arguably had 4 over the Panthers, Patriots, Eagles and Lions). Ultimately, the game comes down to the Packers number one scoring offense against the surprisingly effective Cowboys defense. In a cold nasty environment I give the edge to the Packers. As loyal readers know, Red loves nothing more than a good old-fashioned blizzard game. I know it will be cold, but please God, let it snow. Green Bay 23 Arlington 15.
Your “I’ll Take Your Gun Away from You, Stick up Your Ass and Pull the Trigger Until it Goes Click” Pick of the Week.
Ravens over Patriots. Flacco is the greatest playoff quarterback in NFL history to this point in his career. Contemplate that for a moment. Meanwhile, every time we think that it is Football God Brady’s last chance for a title, he drags the Patriots back to the playoffs with a home field advantage. But, the Ravens seem to come alive in the playoffs, while the Patriots go there to die more often than not as of late. Ravens should be loose while the Patriots probably will be tighter than Bill Belichick’s asshole. And the Patriots chances may rest in the questionable hands of LaGarrett Blount (aka the Fat Pig). Coach B amazingly turns this guy into a beast during the playoffs, but you have to wonder if that smoke and mirrors act can continue. Overall, this is probably the most even match-up of the playoffs. The difference may come down to who can run the ball most effectively. I will take Forsett over the Fat Pig and therefore pick the Ravens to eke this one out. Baltimore 38 New England 31.
Bonus NCAA Championship Prediction
Oregon 52 Ohio State 35
I consider it the sacred duty of every right thinking blogger to post an image of the front cover of this week’s Charlie Hebdo. Don’t be a spineless weasel like the NY Times.
Paradise in Hell 