The last time I took a train in Texas was when I was 5 years old and my Mother and I travelled from Austin to San Antonio to meet my Dad while my sisters were at summer camp in Kerrville.  I loved it and it never occurred to me that I would not ride on another train until I was in college on the east coast.  Incredibly, there has been no direct passenger rail service between Dallas and Houston for almost 20 years.  And if you want to travel that route by rail, it might seem like it takes 20 years.  In reality, it only takes 20 hours with an overnight stop in San Antonio.  Which is fine if you haven’t already been to the Alamo 63 times and you really like the split pea soup at Schilo’s.  For anyone who actually wants to get from one city to another it is a complete non-starter.  The average European must think that it is insane that two major urban centers that are only 250 miles apart are not connected by  a reasonably fast and reliable rail link.  Well, that may change.  Yet another company is attempting to get into the high-speed rail business in Texas.  And in only a decade or so, we might have the first high speed rail line connecting H-Town to Big D.  Make it so.

http://www.khou.com/story/news/local/texas/2014/10/30/texas-bullet-train-gaining-traction/18160333/

Map released by Federal Railroad Administration (who knew there was such an animal) and the Texas Department of Transportation (formerly and more appropriately called the Texas Highway Department)

Austin’s first newspaper, the City Gazette, was first published in 1839.  The inaugural edition contained four pages and was published every Wednesday.  The subscription price was $5.00 per year. During the Texas Congressional sessions from 1840 until 1842, the Gazette was the official publisher of the Texas Congress.  Therefore, much of the newsprint contained the proceedings of Congress, laws, presidential decrees, and other governmental matters.  The paper carried local, national  and foreign news, which would have included news from the United States.  It also contained non-news items such as editorials, letters to the editor, fiction, poetry, essays, and reprints from other papers.  The editorial stance of the paper vacillated – at first being in favor of Mirabeau B. Lamar and then switching allegiance to Sam Houston. Publication was suspended in March 1842 because of the threatened Mexican invasion of Austin.  Additional issues were published until August 17, 1842.  Copies of the Gazette are available for research at the Texas State Library.

Okay, I know there has been a bit too much football on the site lately, but damn it this is a site about Texas and you just can’t get away from some football talk, no matter what you think of the sport.  So we must report that tonight ESPN will air “Brian and the Boz” a documentary by Austin filmmaker Thaddeus Matula on Brian Bosworth – a decent football player who created an outsized presence as “The Boz” and pretty much bullshitted his way into being named an All-American and a first round draft choice of the Seattle Seahawks before flaming out.  Even then, he again bullshitted his way into a minor film career as an action hero.  If you haven’t seen “Stone Cold”  then you haven’t seen the one of the worst movie of the 80’s.

In his last Texas-OU game, I trained my binoculars on “The Boz” for much of the game and watched him get knocked on his ass repeatedly by the Longhorns.  He did not make a play the entire game.   I realized at that point that he was so much hype.  When his college career ended in a steroid scandal, my suspicions  were confirmed.  His pathetic pro career was icing on the failure cake.  And yet we can’t get rid of this guy and I have just wasted 10 minutes writing this.

This week’s NFL Prediction Six-Pack

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”

Frank Zappa

Many a war could have been won by simply dropping beer on the enemy’s troops.

Last week 2-4. For the season 13-17.  This is my week, for sure.

Your Budweiser Sucks and So Does the Local Team Pick of the Week

49ers over Rams. 49ers will be tough at home coming off of the bye week.  Meanwhile, the Rams are coming off a tour of duty as punching bag for the Chiefs who drubbed them 34-7.  So much for my short-lived Austin Davis mancrush.  Jeff Fischer (notorious for having an enormous stick up his butt) has a knack for getting the least amount possible out of his available talent pool. San Francisco 35 St. Louis.10.

Your Beer Pong Pick of the Week.

Cardinals over Cowboys. The two best teams in the NFC line up this week.  This would be the game of the week but for the Broncos-Patriots game. The Cowboys really need to take advantage of this week at home.  After Sunday, they play just 2 more games in the friendly confines of the PissDome.  But if you haven’t noticed, the Cardinals are matching the Boys win for win.  Last week I wondered if this season was worth the price of Jerry Jones’ soul – because that was the only explanation for what was going on in North Texas.  But the Colt McCoy and the OTNA’s came to town.  I suppose even the Devil gets his due once in a while. The Devil doubles down in the desert this week. Arizona 25 Arlington, TX 21.

Your Nuclear Bomb Pick of the Week.

Eagles over Texans. Okay the Texans staggered back to life against the undead Titans on Sunday.  If only they could play such cannon fodder every week they might have a chance.  So far the Texans are playing to form – beating the NFL equivalent of the walking dead and losing close games to any team with an actual pulse.  Yet, the remarkably mediocre Giants are the only team to have put a true ass-whippin’ on the Texans.  The Eagles are having a similar experience having only beaten one good team in the Colts and feasting on the little sisters of the poor.  They are licking their chops when looking at the Texans.  Since I will be in attendance at this one, I really hope I am wrong, but I don’t see the Texans defense containing the Eagles multi-faceted attack or being able to score the 36 necessary to beat the Eagles. Philadelphia 35 Houston 25.

Your In Heaven There is no Beer Pick of the Week.

Stealers over Ravens.  All of a sudden this looks like a remarkably watchable matchup of 5-3 teams fighting for the division lead over the struggling Bengals.  Big Ben was beyond marvelous last week.  Flacco Joe is having his moments too under Kubiak’s offense.  Justin Forsette is playing better than Ray Rice would have.  And Le’Veon Bell looks like the real deal.  Why am I picking so many hard games to call this week?  Perhaps because I suck at the easy ones. Pittsburgh 29 Baltimore 27.

Your Sam Adams Was A Lousy Coach Pick of the Week.

Broncos over Patriots. A clear favorite for game of the week – which typically means it will suck.  Not this time.  Patriots are fresh off of dropping 51 points on the Bears’ defense.  Broncos were clearly slackers in only whipping the Chargers by 14.  This might be the last regular season meeting of the two future Hall of Fame QB’s who have defined football for the last 15 years.  Who has the bigger legacy – Tom with his 3 rings and 2 defeats in the SB or Peyton with his individual record setting but only 1 ring and 1 loss in the big one.  That’s as tough a call as this game.   I might even try to watch this one.  Lucky viewers on the west coast will get the Raider-Seahawks debacle instead. It’s a big number at 55, but I still think the bet of the week is to take the over here. Denver 42 New England 33.

Your Beer Shits Pick of the Week.

Vikings over OTNA’s. I like Teddy Bridgewater.  I wish he was a Texan.  I also like RG3, but I don’t wish he was a Texan.  Bridgewater’s Vikings are operating under the “Score 14 Points and Beat the Vikings” Rule. Meanwhile, the OTNA’s are suddenly not desperate at QB with Colt McCoy having a fairly remarkable turn as the spot starter.  Anyhow, RG3 can’t stay on the field and he isn’t that good when he does.  I seem to have been very wrong about him.  Am I also wrong about Teddy?  With the presence of Colt and Teddy – this week is the all-too-rare actually watchable Shit Bowl game of the year.  Nonetheless, standard protocol requires me to warn viewers to put away their handguns lest there be an “incident” while watching this turgid turd tussle. Minnesota 17 Landover, Md. 13.

Team Carne Knowledge has signed up for the 13th annual Texas Steak Cookoff to be held in beautiful downtown Hico, Texas on May 16, 2015.   After finishing in 7th place (out of 108 entries) in 2013, last year’s effort was not up to par.  The team is committed to a better finish this year and is already working on a new entry for the appetizer contest.  Come by and see us.  Check out the website for details.

http://www.texassteakcookoff.com/

If you haven’t heard the police recording following the Palin family’s brawl at a Wasilla birthday party –  treat yourself.  Here’s a good summary.

  http://www.adn.com/article/20141022/fight-involving-palin-family-top-10-moments-audio-files

I don’t really like the term “White Trash” but if it ever applied . . . And ask yourself, when was the last time half of my family was involved in a drunken brawl at birthday party.  Oh, never?  What is your problem?

And if you have not read Joe McGinnis’ book, do yourself a favor.  It reads like a trashy novel.  More importantly, if 10% of what he relates about Sarah Palin is true (and most of it is openly sourced from people who know the Palins), then she is an odious, awful and disgusting human being, a terrible mother and complete witch of a wife.  And John McCain has never had the balls to apologize for dumping this gigantic turd on the American public.

Photo from Fox News of Sarah Palin sporting some awesome f#@k-me pumps in her natural environment – with other complete and total idiots.

“Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?”

Jim Bouton

True, but why is there no “long-stop”?

Last week 1-5. For the season 11-13.  Time for the Constanza method.

Your KC Royals Pick of the Week

Rams over Chiefs.  To compensate for my pick of the Royals to win the WS, I am picking the Rams to upset the Chiefs this week.  Rams offense is picking up.  Austin Davis looks like the actual NFL-ready version of Case Keenum.  You know the same guy who handed it to Keenum and the Cougs in the 2011 Conference USA Championship game that ended their dream of an undefeated season and a BCS bowl game.  You know the same guy that is starting for the Rams while Case polishes the pine.  Yeah, that guy.  He should pick apart the Chiefs’ altogether pathetic secondary.  Throw in Tre Mason romping up and down the field and things are looking up in Missouri.  Just in time for the team to move back to LA.   St. Louis 24 Kansas City 14.

Your San Francisco Giants Aren’t Playing So Move Across the Bay Pick of the Week.

Raiders over Browns. Is baby brother the real deal, too?  Young Mr. Carr seems to have some qualities that were lacking in big bubba.  Like the ability to not end up on his ass every fifth or sixth play.  The Raiders are not completely devoid of offensive talent – almost – but not completely.  They aren’t ranked 32^nd for nothing.  And then again there is the atrocious Browns defense.  It’s a case of the unstoppable object meeting the immovable force – Yeah, you read that right.   So what if the Raiders are off to their worst start in 52 years.  Every dog has its day.  And anything that brings Johnny Douchenozzle closer to starting – well I’m all for that. Oakland 13 Cleveland 9.

Your World Series Pick of the Week.

Lions over Falcons.  Live from venerable Wembley Stadium in London. This game will air at 6:30 am on Sunday morning on the west coast.  I like some American football with my tea and toast.  The Lions have been feasting on the old and infirm –but that’s what you do to get to the playoffs and your defense is pathetic.  The competition gets better very quickly so they had better take advantage of the train wreck that is the Falcons right now.  If possible, the Falcons are following up their season of disappointment with even a worse season than the hapless Texans.  Maybe a change of scenery will help.  Probably not. Detroit 35 Falcons 30.

Your Too Many Men Pick of the Week.

Cowboys over OTNA’s.  At this point one has to be resigned to the inevitability of the Cowboys making the playoffs. They have at most 5 potential losses left on the schedule barring their standard December meltdown.  If it comes down to having to beat the OTNA’s again in Maryland in the last game of the season, I don’t see Colt McCoy riding to the rescue of the true Cowboy-haters.  Jackson and Garcon are a nice one-two punch at wide-out and Morris is 3 yard back.  Except for complete lack of continuity, the OTNA’s should have a better record.  But unless someone figures out how to stop the bruising rushing attack of the Cowboys, it’s going to be a long season. Arlington 23 Landover, Md.16.

Your Smarty Pants Pick of the Week.

Cardinals over Eagles. The toughest game of the week to call straight up and not an easy money line pick either with the Cards getting 2.5 at home.  Not a tough call is NFL game of the week here (Yeah, I know I called the Colts drubbing of the Bengals the game of the week last week).  This one should not disappoint.  I have both of these teams in the playoffs with the Eagles as my pick to win it all, but there are always some bumps on the road. Arizona 34 Philadelphia 27.

Your Ball Four My Ass Pick of the Week.

Titans over Texans. You will never go wrong picking the Texans to underperform.  And they make their season debut in the Shit Bowl this week.  I held off as long as I could, but face it; the Texans suck and I was a fool to think that they had left their legacy of losing behind them.  Looking at it objectively, they should annihilate the Titans right?  Anyone, anyone?  All they are annihilating right now is their fan base.  What new and innovative way will they find to lose this week?  Maybe I’ll finally write that novel this weekend to avoid having to watch this doleful doo-doo deathmatch. Tennessee 24 Houston 23.

The “Waller Creek Riot” occurred on the University of Texas campus in 1969.  The first stages of adding the “Upper Deck” to Memorial Stadium required rerouting of San Jacinto and the “bulldozing” of several hundred feet of Waller Creek near 21st Street.  The project was a particular favorite of Board of Regents Chairman Frank Erwin.  On the fateful morning, Erwin rushed the demolition crews into action to beat a temporary restraining order that the Sierra Club was seeking.   Numerous students chained themselves to trees to obstruct the planned destruction.  Others climbed high into the cypress trees.  With the situation escalating, Erwin called in an additional force of approximately 30 helmeted Austin police with clubs, 25 state troopers, and a hook-and-ladder fire truck that could reach the students in the trees.  Reportedly he ordered the police to “arrest everybody you need to; once the trees are cut down, there won’t be anything to protest.”   Using the fire truck ladders the police removed the protesters allegedly sawing off a limb with a person still on it. Twenty-seven people were arrested but no one was seriously injured.  With the protest ending in failure and no court order, construction proceeded.  Although it took some time to recover, today that stretch of the creek is quite scenic with stately cypress trees lining the banks.