Red was really starting to think this whole Jade Helm 15 thing was a bunch of hooey, when lo and behold Red heard that Lionel Messi and Argentina was going to be in Houston for a match against Bolivia on Friday. That got Red to thinking about why two South American teams would come all the way to Houston to play a so-called “friendly” against each other when there are umpteen places either in Argentina, Bolivia or somewhere in between that could host this match. So Red is naturally suspicious that this is a big scheme by Obama (socialist, Kenyan, Muslim terrorist sympathizer that he is) to encourage more illegal immigration – who else watches soccer anyway? – and further erode the Tea Party’s chances of putting their man in the White House before it’s too late and they all die off. So when all the illegals take a moment off from committing criminal acts and taking handlouts from the feds while watching the nefarious socialist sport of soccer, the jack-booted thugs will be getting busy rounding up our women, children and most importantly guns. It’ll be easy for them to spot the true patriots because they will be the only ones not mesmerized by Messi’s magical moves con la pelota. So take Red’s advice, suffer through 2 hours of futbol (as they call it). It will be worth figuring out exactly what is “offsides” in order to keep the JBT’s away from your WCAMIG’s. Sacrifices must be made lads.