And now there is one undefeated team and one winless team. Repeat after me – PARITY SUCKS!

1. Philadelphia Eagles – The only thing not to like is the defense giving up almost 18 ppg.
2. Buffalo BIlls – Could be in the first spot except for the stumble against the Dolphins. Impressive comeback against a very good Ravens team.
3. Kansas City Chiefs – When Mahomes is on the Chiefs look unbeatable. Ask Tom Brady about that.
4. Green Bay Packers – Red will be surprised if the Packers stay in the top 5 much longer, but they deserve the spot right now.
5. New York Giants – See Green Bay Packers.
6. Miami Dolphins – Need to get their act together. They can win with Teddy Bridgewater if proper adjustments are made.
7. Minnesota Vikings – 3-1 with a plus 6 point differential! That can’t last.
8. Dallas Cowboys – The NFC East is the NFL Division of Excellence at the slightly less than quarter pole. Still can’t used to 17 games or the fact that this division doesn’t stink.
9. Cincinnati Bengals – Everyone in the AFC is gunning for them right now. Chiefs and Bills still wondering how they did not end up in Superb Owl last season.
10. Tennessee Titans – Have righted the ship for now, but the defense can’t continue to give up 25 ppg.
11. Cleveland Browns – The definition of inconsistency. Will stay in the mix as long as Chubb is healthy.
12. Baltimore Ravens – Have to shake off tough loss to Bills.
13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Don’t be fooled by garbage time points against the Chiefs, this offense is in trouble.
14. San Francisco 49ers – Another win like this week’s dismantling of the Rams and the Niners will really rocket right up Red’s rankings – who as readers know loves alliteration.
15. Los Angeles Rams – Matthew Stafford starting to look tired and old.
16. Atlanta Falcons – Two wins in a row puts them right in the mix in a weak NFC South.
17. Los Angeles Chargers – Red wants to believe but his faith is being tested.
18. Jacksonville Jaguars – Still London’s favorite team.
19. Chicago Bears – Oh why the hell not?
20. Seattle Seahawks – Third place in the division of parity gets you this ranking. In case you’re not paying attention every team in NFC West is 2-2.
21. Arizona Cardinals – Same thing for fourth place in the division of parity.
22. Denver Broncos – This would be the saddest offense in the league but for the Bears and Colts.
23. Detroit Lions – The Lions are averaging a league best 35 ppg and are 1-3. If they ever manage to get the other team to punt they just might win some games.
24. New York Jets – Unfortunately playing in the same division as the Bills and Dolphins so Red doesn’t want to get Jets’ fans hopes up just yet.
25. New Orleans Saints – This week the Saints top the “Who Gives a Shit” part of the rankings.
26. Carolina Panthers – If you don’t have anything good to say . . .
27. Pittsburgh Stealers – Losing to the Jets. You’re lucky to get this ranking.
28. Las Vegas Raiders – Should not be this bad.
29. Washington Commanders – Still looking for a quarterback.
30. Indianapolis Colts – Red has seen offenses suck before, but this is the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. With apologies to H. Simpson.
31. New England Patriots – My how the mighty have fallen.
32. Houston Texans – Finding new and imaginative ways to lose.