Category Archives: Red Bitches

Red Bitches

As Red watched the flooding yesterday he wondered, “What in the hell is so important that you are driving through a street with almost 18 inches of water and what do you think you are going to do when you hit that patch of road where the water is 3 feet deep or more and then when you have to be rescued or abandon your car in the middle of the street are you going to apologize to your rescuers for being such a complete and total dumbass and swear that in the future you will listen to the smart people and just stay home or are you so f*#@ing stupid that you will probably do this again the next time it floods -like maybe tomorrow?”

Red realizes that some poor people were caught unawares, but there were plenty of folks hitting the road well after it became clear that the only thing to do was stay put.

Red Takes a Stand

Red happened to be in the Capital City this weekend and took his family to eat at Red’s of all places.  When offered a seat on the patio, the hostess neglected to inform Red that it was the designated “Dog Area.”   Red knows that his general dislike of the canine species puts him at odds with much of the civilized world on either a domesticated animal or culinary basis.  And if people want to eat with their dogs – or eat their dogs for that matter – Red is perfectly okay with that.  But a restaurant should not assume that Red is okay having his spinach salad while a Black Lab is sticking his ass in the air and farting in Red’s general direction.  Red gets that people love their dogs, but that doesn’t mean I have to.  All I want is informed choice.  If you are going to seat someone in a mixed-species kennel at least give them chance to opt out and wait for a table where the only annoying creatures are the wait staff.