Texas GOP Vote reports that U.S. Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) issued the following statement after Democrats on the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence released their report on enhanced interrogation techniques employed by the nation’s intelligence community.  Red has translated it for you.

“This report is troubling (politically devastating for the Republican Party) for a variety of reasons (mostly its truthfulness), most of which are not found in its pages (but which are probably contained in the full unreleased report). Enhanced interrogation techniques (torture) employed by members of our intelligence community (American torturers) saved (that’s my position and I’m sticking with it despite the evidence) American lives (maybe just maybe someday I can tell you how), and Senate Democrats (communists and/or terrorist sympathizers) should thank these brave (it takes a lot of nerve to water board a completely defenseless man)  men and women (torturers) who worked to protect us (torture a bunch of folks) – not vilify them (tell the truth about their actions).  I cannot think (you could have stopped there Sen. Cornyn) of a greater disservice to our men and women serving in the military (or to the Republican Party) and in our intelligence field (some of whom are torturers) than to hand terror groups like ISIL (or the Democrats) another recruiting tool and excuse (based on verifiable facts) to target them (by telling the truth about how the Bush Presidency violated every principal upon which our nation is founded). Due to the political calculations of some (those terrorist sympathizing Democrats again), the American people (and especially the Republican Party) and our allies across the globe (who have condemned us) are less safe today than they were before (mostly because everyone now can feel free to follow our example and torture people when they feel like it) .”

Everybody’s favorite holiday whipping boy is the much-maligned traditional fruitcake.  Well, Red for one is not ashamed to admit that he likes fruitcake – in fact, likes it a lot.  So if you have one that you don’t want, send it my way. But  if you agree with Red and are in the market for the best fruitcake made in America, find your way over to the Collin Street Bakery in Corsicana.   https://www.collinstreet.com/

They could use your business having been the target of a massive embezzlement by their trusted corporate controller Sandy Jenkins.  Jenkins, who pleaded guilty earlier this year, stole over $16 million using his ill-gotten gains to purchase a home in Santa Fe, expensive jewelry, luxury cars and to pay for lavish vacations.  The company was slow to catch on to Jenkins’ massive swindling.  The discovery came to light when a newly hired employee noticed irregularities in some of the payments made.  The Fort Worth Star-Telegram has an excellent article on Jenkins’ bold thievery.

http://www.star-telegram.com/2014/03/11/5640532/feds-iconic-east-texas-bakery.html

After being found guilty for the murder of Cynthia McLelland the wife of slain Kaufman County District Attorney Mike McLelland, the jury now will determine if former Justice of the Peace Eric Williams will receive life in prison or the death penalty.  The murders of McLelland and his wife in March of 2013 were part of a plot of revenge hatched by the former jurist who lost his JP bench after being convicted of stealing a county computer.  He is also accused of killing assistant prosecutor Mark Hasse outside of the Kaufman County Courthouse in January of 2013.

ABC News reports:

“An assistant prosecutor shouted “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” in the moments before a gunman bent on revenge shot him repeatedly last year in North Texas, according to testimony in the punishment phase of the capital murder trial of a former justice of the peace. 

The jury began hearing testimony Monday to determine whether Eric Williams, 47, should receive life in prison or the death penalty for the March 2013 killing of Cynthia McLelland, the wife of slain Kaufman County District Attorney Mike McLelland. The couple was found dead in their home east of Dallas.

But prosecutors Monday turned their attention to the death of assistant prosecutor Mark Hasse, whom Williams is charged with killing in January 2013. Testimony is set to resume on Tuesday. ‘You will see the patterns of his anti-social behavior and his violent tendencies,” prosecutor Bill Wirskye said while standing near Williams. “You will get a glimpse inside and see what lies beneath this facade of normalcy.'”

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/penalty-phase-begins-texas-justice-peace-27441042

This week’s NFL Prediction Six-Pack

“It wasn’t until after I became famous that people noticed I played in the NFL. I kind of snuck in!”    Terry Crews

As usual, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho is right on target.

For Week 14 it was a mediocre 3-3.  For the season 27-33.  Running out of time to right the ship.

Your “We Got this Guy Not Sure” Pick of the Week.

Texans over Colts.   I am certainly not sure which Texans team will show up from week to week.  The team that can whup up on the weaklings of the league or the team that folds under pressure to better teams.  Oh wait, that’s the same team.  Can the Texans finally break through after 13 seasons of frustration in the Hoosier State?  And what the hell is a “Hoosier” anyway?  And why would I possibly pick this Texans team to beat the Colts on the road?  And where are my car keys?    Houston 31 Indianapolis 29.

Your “I thought Your Head Would Be Bigger” Pick of the Week

Eagles over Cowboys.   Eagles made Cowboys look foolish on Thanksgiving.  Red sees no reason to call this one any differently.  Philadelphia 38 Arlingtonton 25.

You’re “We Are Running out of French Fries and Burrito Coverings” Pick of the Week.

Bengals over Browns.   And I am running out of steam to write about games that are too damn hard to pick this late in the season. There you have it.  Cincinnati 23 Cleveland 20.

Your “He’s Got a Higher IQ than any Man Alive” Pick of the Week.

Patriots over Dolphins.    Yes, the Hooded Wonder probably does have a higher football IQ than any man alive.  Anyone who can make LaGarrett “the Fat Pig” Blount look like a serviceable NFL running back is a certifiable genius.  It often seems that the Patriots are doing it with smoke and mirrors, but the wins just keep coming.  I like the Dolphins, but as I have said all year, they are at least another year (and a Tom Brady retirement party) away from competing for an AFC East division championship. This one will be closer than you might expect, but not close enough.    New England 27 Miami 23.

Your “I Got a Solution” Pick of the Week.

Cardinals over Rams.   Is your NFL team sucking more than any other?  Here’s the solution.  Move your team to the Mountain Time Zone.  The only two teams that play on Mountain time have the two of the three best records in the league.  Coincidence? I don’t think so.  Cards continue to get it done this week and come close to wrapping up a playoff berth.  Jeff “Enormous Stick up his Butt” Fischer comes close to wrapping up his retirement package after a loss.   Arizona 17 St. Louis 10.  

Your “I Understand Everyone’s Shit’s Emotional Right Now” Pick of the Week.

Panthers over Buccaneers.  The pathetic state of the NFC South can be summed up by this – It’s Week 15, the Panthers are 4-8-1 and they are not out of the race for the division championship.  In fact, they are in the thick of the playoff race, mostly because the 4 teams in the NFC South have won exactly 16 games between them.  So in honor of that sad state of affairs, Red is passing over entirely worthy match ups between the Giants/OTNA’s, and the Jets/Titans games to award the Week 15 Shit Bowl to this beastly bowel battle.  And since Red picked the Panthers to win this sad excuse for a pro-football division, he has to stick with the Panthers.   Carolina 12 Tampa Bay 10.