Hey [Insert name of Rube here] , it’s JD Vance.

First, I want to thank you for being such a loyal supporter [aka sycophant] of President Trump.

We wouldn’t be where we are without your support [incredible gullibility].

Being President Trump’s running mate is the honor of my life [which obviously means it’s been a pretty sad tale].

Growing up poor in the small town of Middletown, Ohio, I never would’ve dreamed of being where I am now [running for office with a lying felonious sex criminal].

Middletown was once an industrial powerhouse, but thanks to the unfair trade deals signed by our “leaders” in DC [RINOS], the people of Middletown were left behind [except for me of course].

It angers me to my core [my very rotten core] to see average Americans get ripped off by our politicians [see, e.g,. Trump sneakers, Trump coins, Trump bibles, Trump NFTs, Trump diapers] , and that’s why I’m working my butt off [and it’s a big butt] to get President Trump elected [by hook or by crook – but mostly crook].

The truth is, President Trump is the only president in my lifetime who has stood up for working families [by giving giant tax cuts to the rich, being against raising the minimum wage, gutting worker safety protections and general union busting ton name a few], and it’s because of this, the DC “elite” [people with half a brain] want to destroy him [or maybe just sit back and let him destroy himself].

He’s literally putting his life on the line [behind bullet proof glass] to defend forgotten communities [sad pathetic losers to a man] like mine in Middletown.

But by the time this election is over, Kamala will have raised over $1 Billion to destroy his campaign [how unfair to actually raise money].

So if you haven’t donated before to help President Trump win, can you please give just $3 to help him save our country [I mean you really can’t expect a couple of billionaires to fund their own campaign when there are suckers like you for the fleecing]?

I grew up dirt poor [well more or less dusty poor anyway]. I know a few dollars can make or break a budget [now that I’m filthy rich thanks to Peter Thiel].

So if you can’t afford to chip in, please don’t worry about it [but you can go to hell anyway].

But time is running out. Voters are already casting ballots [we’re losing already].

If you’re on the fence about donating, right now at this very moment is the perfect time [to flush your hard earned dollars down the Trump toiler – a golden toilet I might add]

Please give today. It will go a long way in helping us Make America Great Again [and keep us from having to spend a dime].

J D Vance [,Scumbag]