Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Quote for the Day

“I might even end up having a good relationship, but they’re going, ‘Will President Trump be prepared? You know, President Putin is KGB and this and that.’ You know what? Putin’s fine. He’s fine.”

Donald Trump.

And for those of you who want to check out exactly how “fine” Trump’s good buddy Vlad actually is – you can look at the State Department’s 2017 Russia Human Rights Report.   If it doesn’t turn your stomach, then there is something wrong with you.  And just what are the odds that Trump brings up any of the egregious human rights violations documented by the State Department during their mano-a-mano in Helsinki?  Can Red get a – “No chance in hell?” Thank you.

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Trumph Speaks – Red Translates

Trumph – the Insult Comic President™ was in rare form the other night in North Dakota and the NoDaks in attendance were served up mostly a lot of talk about crowd size.

Let’s Start with Crowd Size Remarks:

I wish we could have had this stage back about 100 yards (then I wouldn’t have to be so close to so many smelly farmers). You’d see how many people. This place is packed (and smelly).  Always, always, always talk about how this crowd is big and it could have been bigger (because bigness is bigly big-time important). This place is packed. The only thing more packed is outside, trying to get in. (take my word for it – people are being crushed to death trying to get in – but they are dying happy.) You know, we had the chance for a 24,000-seat arena (somewhere in Canada I think). And we should have taken it. (can I get a B, can I get an I, can I get a – um – never mind).

If crooked Hillary (never giving that one up because I know some crooked) would have won this election, and if she came here, which is about a 0% chance (you know, smelly), after the election she’d have 200 people in a conference room in a small hotel (owned by me). And I wish those cameras (but of course they are controlled by the scum-sucking enemies of “the people” – meaning me) would circle the room to see how many thousands of people are here (again bigly important), because, you know, on the screen I look — and all you see are those few beautiful, wonderful people (a few of whom don’t smell) — I don’t know who the hell I — but you’ve got a nice group over there (what am I even talking about – sometimes I don’t know). I know you have Mike and some others. They’re going to be so famous (and that folks is what it is all about). They never take those cameras off my face (it is the most handsome face in the world after all). Look at all the women (I once had a farm girl thing before my super-model phase). 

And then Move on to His Brilliance:

Oh, I am so smart (so smart that I have to repeatedly tell you how smart I am). I am the smartest person (Euclid, Aristotle, Descartes, Newton, Rousseau, Jefferson, Einstein, Churchill, etc. – not fit to lick the shit off my shoes).  My uncle was a great professor at MIT for 40 years. Can you believe? Forty years. I said, ‘But I’m smarter than him (I mean how much did he get paid). I’m smarter than anybody.’ (My IQ is like 2500).

And hurl a few insults – because after all that is what he does best:

I meet these people (okay they smell better than you).  They call them the elite. These people. I look at them. I say, ‘That’s elite?’ (let me tell you – elite is having a naked super model in your bed). We got more money (the only thing that matters). We got more brains (see above – and now I’m thinking my IQ may actually be north of 3000). We got better houses (money), apartments (money). We got nicer boats (money). We’re smarter than they are (okay at least 3500). And they say, ‘The elite.” We are the super elite (we meaning me – most of you are pathetic losers – but what’s a conman without a ready supply of pathetic losers?).

Meanwhile on the subject of tolerance and understanding

A billboard on Interstate 40 in Texas tells liberals to to keep driving until they leave the state.

An undisclosed client hired Burkett Outdoor Advertising to put up a billboard in the Panhandle advising “liberals” to leave Texas.  According to the latest polling in statewide races, that would require as much as 40% of the state to “get the Hell out of [insert city name here]” as the liberal Senate candidate Beto O’Rourke is currently polling around that number.  If you look at Trump’s disapproval rating, then maybe as many as 47% of Texans would have to make like horseshit and hit the trail as that is the percentage that strongly (40%) or somewhat (7%) disapprove of Trumpf – the Insult Comic President.  Red is just guessing, that might hurt the Texas economy just a bit – but it would leave a lot of room for immigrants (or worse Californians) to move in.  That is called “unintended consequences.”

Trumph-Kim Medal – Red has a few possible captions

See the source image

Kiss me with your Commie Lips, kiss me (with apologies to Ian Drury and the Blockheads).

Hey Shortstack – what you standing on a milk crate?

Supreme Leader, huh?  I like the sound of that.

Five stars – one for each of my kids and one for every relative you’ve offed.

Vlad saw this and boy was he jealous!

That jagged line symbolizes me ripping up the Constitution.

Melania knows a good surgeon that can take care of the double chin.

We make a deal and there’s a McDonalds in Pyongyang next week.

Really – you like K-Pop too?

This is my tough negotiator stare – used before I totally cave in to save face.

 

Quote for the Day

“After all, the devil fights under great disadvantages, and has to carry weights in all his races which are almost unfair.  He lies as a matter of course, believing thoroughly in lies, thinking that it is by lies chiefly that he must make his running good: and yet every lie he tells, after it has been told and used, remains as an additional weight to be carried.  When you have used your lie gracefully and successfully, it is hard to bury it and get it well out of sight.  It crops up here and there against you, requiring more lies; and at last, too often, has to be admitted as a lie, most usually so admitted in silence, but still admitted, -to be forgiven or not, according to the circumstances of the case.  The most perfect forgiveness is that which is extended to him who is known to lie in everything.  That man has to be taken, lies and all, as a man is taken with a squint, or a harelip, or a bad temper. He has an uphill game to fight, but when once well known, he does not fall into the difficulty of being believed.”

Anthony Trollope, Sir Harry Hotspur of Humblethwaite

Trump and his lawyers, Cohen and Giuliani, for all their many faults, at least no longer have to worry about falling into the difficulty of being believed.

 

 

 

Robert Jeffress says to almost everyone, “You’re going to Hell! Red says to Robert Jeffress, “If the likes of you are going to be in Heaven, Red will gladly go to Hell!”

Baptist Super-Preacher and Tea Party Icon Robert Jeffress of the First Baptist Church in Dallas was chosen by Trump to speak at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem. Red sees this as a fitting choice because Jeffress has a mainline with God who apparently has let RJ in on the big secret of who is and isn’t heading to burn for all of eternity in the lake of fire.

According to Saint Jeffress, any non-Christian has one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the River Styx:

“God sends good people to Hell. Not only do religions like Mormonism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism — not only do they lead people away from God, they lead people to an eternity of separation from God in Hell.”

But it does not stop with non-Christians.  All you supposedly God-fearing Papists better watch out as well. According to his Holiness the Divine Jeffress, Catholics are also on a greased skid headed for Satan’s realm.

“Today the Roman Catholic Church is the result of that corruption. Much of what you see in the Catholic Church today doesn’t come from God’s word. It comes from this cultlike pagan religion. You say, ‘Well now pastor how can you say such a thing? That is such an indictment of the Catholic Church.’ After all, the Catholic Church talks about God and the Bible and Jesus and the blood of Christ and salvation. Isn’t that the genius of Satan?

If you want to counterfeit a dollar bill, you don’t do it with purple paper and red ink, you’re not going to fool anybody with that. But if you want to counterfeit money, what you do is make it look closely related to the real thing as possible.

And that’s what Satan does with counterfeit religion. He uses, he steals, he appropriates all of the symbols of true biblical Christianity, and he changes it just enough in order to cause people to miss eternal life.”

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Christians who support Clinton.  If the Eternal Arbiter Jeffress is right, they might as well give in and start worshipping Satan now – it might get them a better deal in the outer circles of Hell because there is a special place reserved for those Democrats.

“The other choice was Hillary Clinton, and although my friend Juan describes her as kind of St. Hillary of Chappaqua, she’s hardly a bastion of virtue herself. If I am going to hell, Juan — like you say I am for supporting Donald Trump — then that means you’re going to be a hundred floors below me for supporting Hillary Clinton.”

And so, RJ is of course the perfect choice to say some prayers for our good Jewish friends (who still are headed for the jaws of Satan in the RJ version of events) when the U.S. opens its new provocative embassy in Jerusalem today.  He’s just the kind of preacher that Trump likes, a bombastic bullying sack of horseshit cloaked in false religiosity who worship the true Trumpian god of Money.

Red for one can’t wait to meet up with all the “good people” in Hell.  Especially if the likes of Jeffress are populating the streets of Heaven.

 

 

Melania Speaks – Red Translates

Melania Trump, reluctant First Lady, unveiled her signature project which will focus on improving the lives of children by stopping all forms of bullying and cyber abuse.  Red thinks this is a very worthwhile and even noble attempt by the FL who despite having possibly been an illegal alien, posed naked for money, falsely claimed to speak five languages, screwed around with a rich married older man and married for money – does seem to want to set things right and maybe do some good in the world.  That’s about as decent a level of praise as anyone associated with Trumph – Our Insult Comic President will ever get from Red.  But Melania’s speech introducing her signature program seeking to protect children was undercut by an announcement by AG Jefferson Beauregard Sessions that the U.S. will now separate any children entering the U.S. illegally from their families.  So we are all about protecting children except when abusing them will pander to the GOP base.  In light of that, Red felt the need to translate a small part of Melania’s speech.

Be Best is an awareness campaign dedicated to the most valuable and fragile among us (no – not my husband’s attorneys): our children (and it’s going to be way better than Michelle Obama’s “Be Better” schtick).

There is one goal: to educate children about the many issues they are facing today (like – how can I trust anything adults say when our president is lying sack of shit).  If we truly listen to what our kids have to say, whether it’s their concerns (stumbling into war) or ideas, adults can provide them the support and tools (other than paying for public education or college loans) they need to grow up and be happy productive adults (Trump voters). Children deserve every opportunity to enjoy their innocence (and being put in federal custody apart from your annoying parents will be very enjoyable). 

Social media is too often used in negative ways (just look down the hallway at the White House), but when children learn positive behavior early on, it can be used in productive ways (voting Republican).  We have the responsibility to educate  and remind (children) when they use their voices to choose their words wisely (are you paying attention Mr. Guiliani?) and speak with respect and kindness (and very impressively I didn’t once gag on a giant bag of hypocrisy while saying that).

It remains our generation’s moral imperative to take responsibility and help our children manage the many issues they are facing today, including encouraging positive social, emotional, and physical habits (voting Republican, loving Trumpism and hating the FBI). By acknowledging there are many important issues (oh, we got your issues alright), and knowing these problems cannot be solved overnight, I believe we can change the way we think and talk (because it would really be a challenge to think or talk more crudely than my husband) about issues facing children today.