All the crazies agree with Red’s rankings this week. The couch humper, the pedophile, the dog and goat killer and the bear dumper all thing Red is the shit.

1. Kansas City Chiefs – Winning in every possible way it would seem. Broncos blow what could have been the upset of the year.
2. Detroit Lions – Amazing second half comeback.  But Houston fans are used to those. Ask Frank Reich.
3. Buffalo Bills – First 8-2 record since 1993.  That seems impossible given the Bills regular season excellence since the arrival of Josh Allen.
4. Baltimore Ravens – No team is more dangerous when all the pieces are in place. Unstoppable if on their game. Still wondering how the Texans beat them.
5. Minnesota Vikings -A crappy, low-scoring, bottom-of-the-barrel win against the Jaguars, but a win nonetheless.
6. Philadelphia Eagles – Riding high on a 5-game win streak and scoring points with Red for the complete dismantling of the Cowboys – something we all enjoy.  Well most of us with any sense anyway.
7. Pittsburgh Stealers – For real?  Maybe so. Doing the quarterback shuffle.
8. Washington Commanders – Losing to Stealers can be assuaged by a win over the Eagles. But don’t bet the farm on that.
9. Houston Texans – Scoring in the second half is usually necessary for winning.  On the bright side, they did hang with the second best team in the league until the final seconds. Of course, that really isn’t very bright.
10. Green Bay Packers – Red still thinks the Pack are pretenders in a very tough division.
11. Arizona Cardinals – Oddly, the Cards completely control their path to the postseason. The Cards’ defense playing better than any other team over the last month.
12. Los Angeles Chargers – Bengals and Ravens are up next.  1-1 would be sufficient to keep hanging around.
13. San Francisco 49ers – Just hanging around – Everybody!
14. Atlanta Falcons – Cannot lose to inferior teams.  The Saints logo is in the dictionary next to “inferior.”
15. Seattle Seahawks – Beginning the march to the bottom of the NFC West?
16. Tampa Bay Bucs – 1-5 record over last six games and they are still in the top half?  WTF.
17. Denver Broncos – As they say, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against the Chiefs. Ugh.
18. Cincinnati Bengals – At least they can say they played in the most exciting regular season game of the year –  and lost!
19. Los Angeles Rams – Staggering around looking for a place to fall.
20. Chicago Bears – The Bears seem to have already found a place to fall.
21. Miami Dolphins – Could be worse.  Could be raining.
22. Indianapolis Colts – Red will miss beating up on Flacco Joe.  But life goes on.
23. Dallas Cowboys – Are beyond staggering around right now – unless you count staggeringly awful.
24. New Orleans Saints – Showing signs of life. Very faint signs.
25. New York Jets – I don’t think you could pay Red to attend a Jets game – even with airfare and hotel included.
26. Cleveland Browns – Getting a break this week only because they had a bye.
27. New England Patriots – Could someone help Red here, he is truly puzzled?
28. Las Vegas Raiders – Surrounded by the stench of death in the desert, the locker room, the sideline and the Strip.
29. Carolina Panthers – Panthers get a break from Red every time they win a game.
30. New York Giants – Does Red have to say anything? Anyone, anyone, Bueller, anyone?
31. Jacksonville Jaguars – Bad with Trevor, bad without Trevor.
32. Tennessee Titans – One could almost forget that there is a professional football team in Nashville – but the bastards won’t let us.