Tag Archives: NFL

Quote for the Day

“I am watching all the other guys doing what I want to be doing and I am sitting on a couch being a loser.”

Johnny Manziel on his attempt to climb his way back to the NFL.  Manziel says he has been diagnosed as bi-polar and is now on medication and has stopped drinking.

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Great Reading for Cowboys Haters

Tony Spagnola writes about the sometimes tortured  and heartbreaking history of the Dallas (Arlington) Cowboys franchise attempting to argue that but for a few bounces of the ovoid ball, the Cowboys could be the greatest team in NFL history.   This is absolute must-reading for all haters of the Evil North Texas Football Empire.

They are remembered for such plays as The Hail Mary and Tony Dorsett’s 99-yard run. For Tom Landry and Tex Schramm and Jimmy Johnson and Jerry Jones. For Staubach and Aikman and Lilly and White, and of course for Emmitt becoming the NFL’s all-time leading rusher.

But funny, this occurred to me, oh, sometime after the Vikings’ seemingly cleansed the memory of the Hail Mary from that 1975 season with their Minneapolis Miracle to break the New Orleans Saints hearts three weeks ago:

These Cowboys, for all their greatness over all these years, sure can make a claim for simultaneously being known as The Heartbreak Kids. No, seriously. Do you realize the penance the Cowboys have paid over the years, the close call and seemingly cruel and unusual punishment at the end of games that has prevented them from becoming the greatest franchise in NFL history?

And Red’s personal favorite –

Remember 2006, Bill Parcells’ final season as head coach. Seattle. NFC Wild Card Game. Tony Romo’s first season to start. Cowboys trail 21-20, 3:10 remaining. Romo drives the Cowboys 70 yards to the Seattle 8. Only 1:53 left. Romo hits Witten at the 1, first down, right?

Oh, wait, there is a booth video review of the spot. And somehow referee Walt Anderson, after looking at video that was not shooting straight down the 1-yard line, announces he’s re-spotting the ball “at the 1½-yard line,” fourth down and one with 1:19 left.

Seriously.

And you know the rest of that story, Romo dropping the snap on what was going to be Martin Gramatica’s game-winning 19-yard field-goal attempt, and then is pulled down running for his life at the 2 by Seattle’s Justin Babineaux. Ball game. Season. End of Bill’s coaching career,

Today in Texas History – February 8

Dallas Texans Logo | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

From the Annals of Professional Football – In 1963, Lamar Hunt moved the Dallas Texans to Kansas City and renamed the team the Chiefs.  Hunt owned the AFL’s Dallas franchise which began playing , owner of the American Football League franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas City. The new team was named the Chiefs.  It started operations in 1960, the first AFL season and the same year as the Dallas Cowboys. The team immediately faced serious competition from a new franchise in the older more established league.  The Texans had a strong home-state identity with quarterback Cotton Davidson (Baylor), fullback Jack Spikes (TCU), and running back Abner Haynes (North Texas State). Haynes, was named the league’s Player of the Year after leading the AFL with 875 yards rushing and 9 touchdowns. The Texans were an offense-centric, high scoring team, but three closes losses kept them from challenging for the division title.  They finished the 1960 season in second place in the West with an 8-6 record.  The Texans averaged 24,500 for their home games at the Cotton Bowl, the highest average in the league. Hunt is considered to be the founding father of the AFL and one of the main reasons the league was able to survive until it merged with NFL in the Super Bowl era.

Hunt’s team is not to be confused with the 1952 incarnation of the Dallas Texans.  That was an NFL team which was a transplanted version of the New York Yanks.  The team lasted only one season in Dallas and was the last NFL franchise to fold up shop when owner Giles Miller sold the ailing franchise back to the league.

Red desperately wants a Dallas Texans t-shirt with that logo.

Red’s NFL Picks – Conference Championships

Red was 2-2 in the Semis last week.  He would have been 3-1 if he had the courage of his convictions and stuck with the Eagles.  As we head to the final 3 games of the NFL season, Red reflects back a bit on what looked like a promising season for several teams.

First, the Texans – who had a brief flash of brilliance and the highest single game point total of the year with Deshaun Watson under center and then after he went down – well Red will fall back on one of his favorite quotes from Homer Simpson – “I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.”  And yet Texans fans are still stuck with the Bill O’ the Clown show.

Next, the Cowboys – Red had a feeling deep down inside that Dak Prescott would suffer from sophmoritis and a steadily declining offensive line.  The Cowboys had a 6 week stretch early on in the season where they actually remembered that you have to score points in reasonable numbers to win an NFL game.  From Weeks 3-9, the Boys actually averaged almost 32 points per game – going 4-2 with losses to the hot hands of the Packers and Rams.  Then they remembered they were the Cowboys and managed score a total of 22 points in a 3 game losing streak that put the shoulder pads up against the wall.  And then they rallied against the lowlifes of the league until the Seahawks put them out of their misery with a 21-12 drubbing in Arlington.  It seems every move that Genius Jerry made this season was rather bone-headed.  Other than Ryan Switzer being established as a credible return man – nothing much seemed to work out for Jerry.

And the Packers – who once again proved that A-Rodg is year in and year out one of the MVPs of the league.

Finally, the soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders who might have been the biggest disappointment in the league and also proved that Jack Del Rio is an excellent defensive coordinator and in over his head as head coach.  Also, it seems the Beast is done for barring an amazing revival.  They had Red believing – but turned out to be a novelty act of the worst kind.

Your AFC Championship Pick of the Week –  Jaguars over Patriots.  Red has a little bit of that stuff he was smoking last week left over from picking the Titans to knock off the Superb Owl champs.  It must be powerful because he is riding it uphill again this week in taking the Jags to upset the Pats on the road.  The only possible reason for this pick is that Tom Coughlin seems to somehow have the Pats number having whipped them twice for the NFL Championship – with Eli Manning to boot.  The Jags have a helluva defense – no doubt and a credible offense despite the specter of Blake Bortles hanging about.  To win this one, the Jags must get to Brady early and often.  Anything less than 4 sacks, 8 quarterback hits and multiple pressures just won’t cut it.  Either that or a concussion protocol – not that Red is rooting for that to happen.  Meanwhile, the Pats defense has carried the team.  After a shaky first 4 weeks, the Pats gave up more than 20 points just twice the rest of the way – losing to the Dolphins and eking out a Zebra assisted win against the Stealers.  But it’s not like the Pats offense are a bunch of slouches either.  If Jags can keep it close and low-scoring , they just might win this thing.  Jacksonville 27 New England 20.  

Your NFC Championship Pick of the Week – Vikings over Eagles.  Well sports fans, that was the most incredible finish to an NFL game since either the Music City Miracle or the Immaculate Reception depending on your point of view.  The Vikings probably deserved to win that game anyway, but really?  So can the Vikings come back down to earth in time to beat the Eagles Sunday night?  Well, Timmy (Red’s been waiting all year for this), that there Case Keenum fellow seems to have put the black magic fuckery in a Gatorade bottle and has the ability to break it out when needed.  But Uncle Red, “don’t the Eagles have a chance,” Danny asks.  Of course they do, Billy.  But you see there was this tall guy named Carson Wentz who old Papa Red picked out as the best in class a couple of years ago and well he got slobber-knockered a few weeks back and well, Jimmy, that was probably it for the Eagles.  Still, Willy, they have a slim chance if CK somehow decides he can still keep throwing up balls for grabs and not be punished like a repeat felon.  It’s called “ball control” and if the Vikings can hold on to the rock for say – 35 minutes Sammy, they can win this thing and be the first team ever to play on home turf in the Superb Owl era.  The odds were it had to happen some day Ricky, and Sunday is the day.  Minnesota 28 Philadelphia 24.

Red’s NFL Picks – Conference Semi-Finals

Red was unable to make it happen last week, but he would have picked the Titans, Vikings, Jaguars and Panthers to win.  So that would have been 3-1, but hey, it goes in the Shithole if you don’t do it in advance.  Things have been hectic in Red World, so it will be short and sweet this week.  And Red never bets on the NFL playoffs – that’s for the amateurs.

Vikings over Saints –  Red is still wondering how the Texans let Case Keenum get away.  He came in practically overnight at the end of 2014 season, won two games for a sad sack team and then was never even given the opportunity to compete for a back up spot.   All so that Tom Savage could prove his worthlessness?   Red completely discounts CK’s 16 games with the Rams over 2015-16 because he was being coached by Jeff Fischer – he of the giant stick up his Shithole – and a complete offensive moron of a head coach.  Fischer has had one successful quarterback in his entire career – Steve McNair – who was talented enough to overcome the crippling effect of Fischer’s offensive ineptitude.   So this will be sweet justice for Keenum – a quarterback that Red did not believe in either – but one he thought at least deserved a chance in Houston after the 2014 season.  On the other side is the aged wonder Drew Brees – another Texas quarterback – who turned back the hands of time this year.  Brees was certainly helped by a nice rushing attack and good defense.  Brees didn’t have to carry his team this season. But what wins this game is the Vikings defense.  There really isn’t a weak link there and they keep it close enough to win.   Minnesota 20 New Orleans 17.

Titans over Patriots –  Red is smoking the good stuff this morning fresh in from his favorite Shithole country. How else could he pick the Titans to knock off the reigning champs on a cold Massachusetts day with GOAT TB 12 at the helm?  This is coming from the gut and like most things coming from that direction should probably end up in the Shithole.  The Titans running attack will be effective enough to keep Brady and Co. off the field.  Titans win this one if they control the ball for 37:30 and punt well.  The Titans showed that they don’t crumble when down.  Yeah, those were the Andy Reid Chiefs and this is a different class, but Red’s team of destiny makes it happen.  Tennessee 24 New England 22.

Jaguars over Stealers –  Another gamble for Red and possibly more money down the Shithole (are you sensing a trend here?) for anyone taking the Jags.   Ben Rotlessburger has at times been very average in the face of excellent defenses and the Jags have just that.  Don’t be surprised if Ben doesn’t make it through this entire game.  The last time these teams met, BR should have been pulled.  This time they may carry him off in a basket. The rest of the league took notice when the Jags kicked ass and took names in dismantling the Stealers 30-9 in Week 5 at Heinz Field.   That win gave them the “Sacksonville” moniker as the Jags pressured BR into five interceptions and two sacks.  Can they do it again, with a trip to the AFC Championship game on the line – a game that could be played in Florida?  Red says Hell yes.   Jacksonville 28 Pittsburgh 13.

Falcons over Eagles –  As much as Red would love to pick the Eagles here, he just doesn’t feel the Foles magic.  The Falcons are still on a Mission from God to make up for the utter humiliation of last season’s Superb Owl loss to the hated Pats.  And the Eagles season started to circle the Shithole immediately after losing Carson Wentz – who still should win MVP because he was the most valuable player to any team this season. With Wentz under center the Eagles dispatch the Falcons with ease, but that will have to wait for another year.  So it is with great reluctance that Red says –  Atlanta 29 Philadelphia 12.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 15

Well, Sports Fans –  now it’s getting exciting.  With only the Eagles and Stealers having clinched divisional titles – all the other playoff spots are up for grabs among a select few teams.  And even the Eagles and Stealers have to worry about home field advantage.  Somehow the 10-3 Patriots have not yet clinched even a Wildcard slot – so anything can happen – but it won’t.

With only 3 more weeks left, Red himself has clinched at least a season tie.  For Week 14 Red was 3-3 which totals up to 51-33 for the year and unless Red’s math is totally off he is 18 to the good and could go 0-6 for 3 weeks and still come out even.  Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.  And Red has not taken his usual bye week this season.  That may yet happen as well over the holidays.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  Walter Payton and his fellow student at Jackson State, Mary Jones, came in second place in the 1973 Soul Train National Championship Dance Off.

This Week’s Trivia: When was the first Christmas Day NFL game played?

Your Merry Pick of the Week:  Stealers over Patriots.  Not a surprise to anyone that this is your NFL GAME OF THE WEEK.  As noted, Stealers have clinched the AFC North and the Pats are yet to punch their ticket.  Stealers want home field in what would seem to be an almost inevitable preview of the AFC title game (although the Jaguars may have something to say about that).  Stealers know that the road through Foxboro ends in the trash heap of broken dreams. They pull out all stops to win this one.  Red likes the over even at a hefty 53.5 – unless the weather turns bad, then duck and cover.  Pittsburgh 29 New England 28. 

Your Ho Ho Ho Pick of the Week: Raiders over Cowboys.  Two teams that desperately need a win.  That usually favors the home team.  If the Raiders had the balls to make the Cowboys wear blue I would go whole hog for them, but unfortunately Red does not have such inside information.  Young D. Carr needs to have the kind of game he showed two years ago and it would be nice if the Beast (Red’s biggest fantasy bust this season who wasn’t actually carried off the field in a basket) would churn out a couple of decent games to end his career.  Maybe just maybe.  Red likes the Raiders getting 3 points.   Oakland 24 Arlington 20.

Your Let it Snow Pick of the Week: Rams over Seahawks. Or in this case, Let it Drizzle, Let it Drizzle, Let it Drizzle.  Red missed the likely snow game of the season last week in Orchard Park – and everyone knows how much Red loves a good blizzard game.  Unfortunately there appears to be no prospects for a repeat this week.  So Red will have to go with the next best thing – which aint very good at all.  Red still likes Rams despite some signs of crackage.  Meanwhile,  up north giant chasms are opening on the Seahawks side of the ball.  Perhaps Pete the Cheat can will his team through a critical last season divisional match up.  Red thinks Pete’s deal with Satan is running on fumes at this point.   This isn’t quite winner take all in the NFC West, but it’s pretty damn close.  As will be the score – so Red wisely takes a pass on this one.   Los Angeles 24 Seattle 20.  

Your Bowlful of Jelly Pick of the Week:  Panthers over Packers.  Red somehow keeps forgetting that the Panthers are what is known as a “Pretty Damn Good Football Team.”  Panthers have been relatively lucky on the injury front.  The same cannot be said for the Packers – but if A-Rodg is really back this week, then anything can happen.  Red still likes the Panthers to cover 3 at home.  Carolina 24 Green Bay 20.

Your Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer Pick of the Week: Eagles over Giants.  Eagles certainly feel like they got sideswiped by an ungulate this week what all with likely All-Pro Carson Wentz getting bounced for the season.  The redoubtable Nick Foles is back in town and perhaps he can recapture the magic of 2014 when he was damn near unstoppable as a third stringer coming in to save the season.  More likely he is Tom Savage on steroids – meaning average enough to carry the Eagles into a competitive chance at winning one playoff game.  Fortunately, he gets to work out the kinks against the hapless Giants.  Look for this one to be close and the Giants probably cover 7.5 spread if you can get that.  Philadelphia 24 New Jersey 20.

Your Bundle of Sticks and Lump of Coal Pick of the Week:  Cards over OTNAs.  It’s actually hard to find a true Shit Bowl contender this week as almost every other game includes at least one team with a playoff shot – however remote.  So Red will dispense with his usual warning to stay away from the string of Christmas lights and mistletoe lest ye be tempted to string yourself up or mix up a deadly eggnog and mistletoe cocktail in the third quarter of this crude crap contest.  Red thinks the over at 41.5 might be worth a look if you are truly desperate for some Christmas cash.   Arizona 24, Landover, MD 20

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 14

Only 4 more weeks of the regular season grind for Red.  It may not look like it, but more than a bit of thought goes into doing this every week.  For Week 13 Red was 5-1 and is 48-30 for the year – setting him up for a possible all time regular season record.  On the money line, Red stunk it up – so the rule is layoff the bets this week.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  The Lions and Giants combined for a net total of zero points on November 7, 1943 in a game played before 16,992 at Detroit’s Briggs Stadium. The teams generated a total of 214 yards and missed 4 field goals.

This Week’s Trivia: What other non-football award did NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton almost win?

Your Soulful Pick of the Week: Falcons over Saints –  Falcons could muster all of 3 field goals against a game Vikings defense last week – after averaging 28 points per game in November.  Is it time for a December swoon?  If so, then give the division to the Saints on a silver platter.  Meanwhile, the Saints are good for 30 points a game just about every time out.  If Falcons eke out a win, they are still in striking distance and in the thick of the playoff hunt.   Atlanta 31 New Orleans 30.

Your Do the Hustle Pick of the Week: Jaguars over Seahawks – Red likes picking against the Seahawks led by Pete the Cheat.  It hasn’t worked out very well for Red as yet, but he keeps trying.  The Jags have the top ranked scoring defense in the league and Seattle is very respectable in averaging almost 25 ppg so far.  They haven’t faced a defense like the Jags yet.  Jags need win to keep pace with Titans who have slightly more difficult schedule.  AFC South is probably going to come down to the Jags/Titans matchup in Week 17.  Red is looking forward to that one.   Jacksonsville 20 Seattle 17

Your Footloose Pick of the Week:  Raiders over Chiefs –  Chief are in free fall since the Raiders beat them 31-30 in Week 6.  Other than that game, Raiders have not beaten a good team all season.  Chiefs are not a good team anymore.  Red likes the repeat here. Oakland 31 KC 30

Your Motown Pick of the Week: Buccaneers over Lions – Lions could have been somebody, they could have been a contender – instead of a bum which is what they are.  Bucs had pretensions but are also pretenders at this point.  Red’s gotta pick someone to win.  Oh well.  Tampa Bay 23 Detroit 20

Your Hollywood Pick of the Week: Eagles over Rams  – Your NFL Game of the Week has the 10-2 Eagles taking on the Resurgent Rams.  Eagles clinch NFC East with win.  Rams could put some distance between themselves and S’hawks with win and S’Hawks loss.  This is the showdown of the season between the top two hot young quarterbacks in Wentz and Goff.  Red thinks this might just be a preview of the NFC title game.  This will be fun.  Philadelphia 33 Los Angeles 25

Your Dirty Dancing Pick of the Week: Texans over 49ers – The Texans have sunk to Shit Bowl status with yet another last minute drive to win floundering near the goal line.  Tom “the Turnover Machine” Savage has looked better of late and will probably land a back up job somewhere next season.  The Texans were essentially down to DeAndre Hopkins and some guy who had caught one pass at wide receiver on Sunday and Savage still kept completing passes.  Back in California, Jimmy Garapolo finally got a start and looked decent in beating the barely there Bears.  Red anticipates at least 25,000 loyal fans will show up at NRG for this one.  Red won’t be among them.  So turn off the big 72 incher after the CBS Sunday Morning show lest ye be tempted to empty your 38 Special into the plasma in the third quarter of this beastly bowel battle.  Houston 20 Santa Clara 19