Short Answer:  They suck!

For an in depth analysis for the ultimate sports geek, please turn to SB Nation which runs through a myriad of statistics and graphical analyses to come up with a precise answer as to why the Longhorns have underperformed over the last 5 years.  And the answer is – They suck! 

To illustrate the Longhorns’ suckiness, SB Nation presents exciting and allegedly meaningful visual aids such as –

Not to mention insightful analysis like –

And if that doesn’t get you excited about the upcoming season, try –

And if you haven’t fallen asleep – Hook ’em.