Embattled Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton just can’t help himself from continuing to waste taxpayer dollars on important issues like who gets to pee where. One might think that Paxton was merely trying to draw attention away from his own considerable legal woes – but then one would be a small petty-minded type of person – like Red.
But the chances that Paxton would shy away from the most important legal and moral issue of the day, involving – as Red so crudely puts it – which hole gets to go in which hole, were slim to none. Apparently there is not a single action of the federal government that Paxton does not feel up to challenge – at least until another Bush becomes President. Paxton reflexively must challenge anything that might possible offend or cause the slightest consternation amongst his Tea Party followers – all the while maintaining his innocence in the face of what the legal experts refer to as “pretty damn good evidence” that he himself is the real lawbreaker. Thus despite the lack of a shred of evidence that allowing the various varieties of our transgendered Texans to decide where they would like to evacuate their various by-products of human existence has endangered anyone or caused any of the Baptist women to cry “Oh, my!”, Paxton bravely soldiers on in the belief that only he knows best and that the very fate of the constitutional republic hangs in the balance on his briefs (no pun intended).
Red for one expresses no opinion (as yet) on the constitutionality of the Obama administration’s rule on bathroom equality. What is clear, however, is that Paxton and ilk truly believe that this is the issue that will re-ignite the Tea Party movement (not just their bowels) and lead them back to national prominence in the wake of seeing their influence eviscerated by Donald Trump’s emergence (from the anus of the political sphere). The right must have a bogeyman – real or imagined – and fear is the only thing they know how to properly manipulate into a position of power. If not the Red Menace washing upon our shores, or the Hippies destroying our social fabric, or the Welfare Queens taking us to the cleaners, or Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll corrupting our youth anymore, then there must be a new cause. And with the so-called War on Terror falling out of fashion after a sort, what can the denizens of the right latch onto now. Aha, bathroom safety. The terrifying image of a grizzled child molester tarted up in a chemise and sporting some f*#k me pumps coming in to the Women’s room to terrorize Ted Cruz’s daughters will certainly get the base riled up. Except maybe enough Americans are not quite stupid enough to believe such nonsense. And no one will ever accuse Ken Paxton of not being stupid enough.