Top Ten Reasons Joe Strauss is Not Running for Reelection as Speaker?

Texas House Speaker Joe Strauss of San Antonio has announced that he will not seek reelection in 2018.  JS has been thought to be the last bastion of sanity in the Texas Republican Party that has prevented the lunatics from running the asylum.  There has been speculation on Strauss’ motives, but as usual Red has the real skinny.

No. 1 – Not having to deal with Our Poor Idiot Governor Abbott and Light Gov. Patrick will be very much like stopping hitting himself in the head with a hammer.

No. 2 –  Tea Parties are just not very much fun anymore.

No. 3 – More time in Vegas Baby Vegas!

No. 4 – Bipartisanship is so 20th Century.

No. 5 – Finally realized that Republicans really want a “Christian Conservative” not a Texas Jewboy (with apologies to Kinky Freedman).

No. 6 –   He’s made it damn near impossible to get an abortion in much of the state, defunded Planned Parenthood, pushed through a discriminatory Voter ID bill – and yet it’s still all about who gets to pee where.

No. 7 –   Some of his best friends are Democrats like Donald Trump used to be.

No. 8 – Joe Strauss, Texas Moderate pilot will be coming out next summer.  An exciting action/adventure show featuring JS drinking iced tea and attempting to have polite conversations with people.

No. 9 – Will be writing treatise on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and has completed his research.

No. 10 – Embarrassed to be called a Republican in the Age of Trump.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s