Red was 4-2 last week bringing his season total to a still pathetic 10-14. This week for sure!
Your Game of the Week Game of the Week – Chiefs over Patriots. Well it’s showdown time for early season dominance of the AFC and a a possibly preview of the AFC Championship game. The Pats looked like a dying dynasty a couple of weeks ago but have resurged to silence the doubters. Meanwhile in KC, there have been few doubters. Andy Reid with an arsenal of offensive weapons has always been a recipe for regular-season success (and playoff failure). This is still the regular season and the Pats have shown a tendency to give up way too many points for their ball-control offense to counteract. And they have yet to beat an actuall quality opponent. The Chiefs on the other hand have pretty much gob-smacked whoever is in their way. Red doesn’t think the Pats (or any other team for that matter) can keep up when the Chiefs offense is clicking. Mahomes gets back on track in the biggest game of the week. At some point the GOTW GOTW won’t feature the Chiefs – but not this week. Kansas City 38 New England 28.
Your National TV Game of the Week – Eagles over Giants. What is wrong with the Eagles? Whatever it is – the likely cure is a game against the Giants – which is a little unfair because the Giants looked like a professional sports team last week even in losing. Even so, trailing the OTNAs in the standings is not likely to strike fear into the collective Eagles’ heart. But a win here puts them in solid contention. Because the Eagles are playing down to expectations and the Giants seem surprisingly capable of scoring points, Red figures this one will be more exciting that it should be. But this is close to a must-win game for the stumbling Eagles. Philadelphia 35 New Jersey 28.
Your Texas Game of the Week – Jaguars over Cowboys. The Red Rule (score 17 points and beat the Cowboys) was tailor-made for a club like the Jaguars coming off a “What the Hell just happened here?” game against the seemingly unstoppable Chiefs. Expect the Jaguars to be out for body bags this week against a Cowboys offense that is searching for answers – in fact, they may be actually searching for questions having given up on answers. The Jags defense was humiliated last week and after some soul-searching they reassert themselves against a Cowboys offense that can run the ball (sort of) and has a quarterback that can scramble well enough to buy time – but is otherwise utterly bereft of actual NFL talent and led by perhaps the second worst game caller in the league (an honor reserved for Bill O’ the Clown). Thanks JJ. Jacksonville 17 Arlington 16.
Your Disappointing Game of the Week – Bengals over Stealers. Well the Bengals certainly were the surprise of the league at the quarter-pole even having played a relatively weak schedule to that point. But they solidified their position as unexpected team of destiny (regular season version only) by beating the Dolphins and the return of Joe Mixon. The big question is can they overcome the traditional nemisis Stealers and claim solid control of the AFC – North in Week 6? Red is buying into the fact that Mixon is a franchise caliber back to go with franchise caliber wideout A.J. Green to go with almost franchise caliber QB Red Rifle. Every other aspect of this team is decidedly mediocre but that offensive combination may be enough to win 10 to 12 games. Cincinnati 28 Pittsburgh 20.
Your Time Zone Hex Game of the Week – Bears over Dolphins. The single time zone, inverse longitudinal, fresh-water/salt-water hex is easily overcome by the rather awesome Bears defense coming off a bye week against an increasingly pathetic-looking Dolphins offense. In fact, neither of these teams have a shit-worthy offense. When in doubt go with the best defense in a grubby low-scoring game. This one will certainly be grubby. Chicago 13 Miami 7.
This Week’s Shit Bowl – Seahawks over Raiders. Just a couple of years ago this would have been an exciting west coast matchup between two teams with playoff aspirations if not expectations. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. The Raiders are a reality TV show joke of a football team right now and are in the process of being torn apart. The Seahawks are not a joke, they just aren’t very good anymore. But this week, Pete the Cheat gets the best of Jabbering Jon. Please place your tray tables and seat backs in the full upright position and fasten your seat belts so that you cannot jump up and head butt the 58 incher while watching this Cruddy Colon Clash. Seattle 22 Oakland 10.