Grifters Gonna Grift – Team Trump Begs and Red Translates

It is patently clear by all accounts that Trump’s post-defeat fundraising efforts have almost nothing to do with challenging actual election results. It appears that the vast majority of the money is going to retire Trump’s likely massive campaign debt or to fund the RNC or a future Trump campaign (Red suggests he run for Governor of New York so that he can pardon himself). If Trump really wanted to fight the election results he should be able to fund that himself from his billions and not have to go begging. Unless of course he isn’t really the multi-billionaire he touts himself to be. Anyhow, here’s one of the many latest sob stories from the campaign of the greatest con man to ever walk our great country.

Red,

This Election is not over (It aint over ’til the Fat President sings).

Georgia is headed for a recount, where we are confident we will find ballots (best guess 3 dozen) improperly harvested (fucking farmers), and where President Trump will ultimately prevail (in losing again).

We can’t allow the Democrats (Commies) to try to STEAL this Election from the American People (only Trump is allowed to pull off that kind of heist). There are numerous examples of fraud coming to light (and we will be glad to share them with you just as soon as this is all over) that will be critical to an upcoming recount (insignificantly critical that is).

There were instances of dead people voting (Herman Cain for example), forged signatures (written in crayon), missing signatures (invisible ink), mass unsolicited ballots filled out by others (diehard socialist pinko scum), and possible illegally cast ballots being counted (actually any vote for Biden was illegal as he was born in captivity in a Polish zoo).

This is absolute madness (well, nothing compared to what goes on in the West Wing but we digress), and YOU are the only one who can stop them (Just like Trump was the only one who could fix our country’s problems and look how well that turned out).

The President is FIGHTING BACK (when not wolfing down a Big Mac or watching OANN) to defend the integrity of our Election (by subverting the will of the voters), but he can’t do it without you (because when this is over he is gonna be broke). He needs you to STEP UP and contribute to our Official Georgia Recount Fund (put your money where Trump’s mouth is).

This is the most critical moment in our Nation’s history (Bunker Hill, Saratoga, Gettysburg, Pearl Harbor, Midway, D-Day, the Battle of the Bulge, Inchon, Tet Offensive, 911 all pale in comparison to what happens if our glorious leader has to go back to playing golf full time). Will you FIGHT to protect our Republic (so that Trump can destroy it in a second term)?

The future of America is under attack (your wife and children will be sold into slavery of course, but what’s worse is they will take away your guns) and it’s up to YOU to preserve it. Will you join President Trump and DEFEND the integrity of our Election (instructions on armed insurrection to follow)?

Thank you,

Team Trump 2020 (and beyond)

P.S. Don’t bother to read the fine print telling you where your money is actually going.

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