Red’s 2024 NFL Weekly Rankings – Week 7

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Red wrote this much earlier in the week. He posts it just in time for it to not be completely meaningless.

Trivia Question:  Which team has more playoff wins since the Texans joined the NFL in 2002, the Cowboys or the Texans?

  1.  Kansas City Chiefs –  Red has one hard and fast rule, a team cannot lose the No.1 spot when it doesn’t play.
  2. Minnesota Vikings – Corollary to Rule No. 1. A team cannot lose the No.2 spot when it doesn’t play and the team in the No. 1 spots stays put.
  3. Detroit Lions – The Lions delivered the Cowboys an ass whupping for the ages on Jerry’s 82nd birthday.  Clicking on all cylinders and using trick plays to embarrass the opponent.
  4. Baltimore Ravens –  Four straight wins equals 4th place.
  5. Houston Texans – Beating the Patriots is like kissing your aunt – make that your great aunt.  There actually are some fine looking aunts out there.
  6. Buffalo Bills – Smarter than the average team.
  7. Washington Commanders – Still don’t like the name. Hard to argue with the results so far this year.
  8. Chicago Bears – Caleb Williams went to London riding on pony. Stuck a big loss on the Jags and called it Macaroni.
  9. Atlanta Falcons – Made medium work of the once again hapless Panthers.
  10. Green Bay Packers – The astute reader will note that the NFC North has placed 4 teams in Red’s top ten this week.   Do you see that astute reader? Astute reader? Astute Reader? Bueller? Anyone?
  11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bucs led 17-0, then trailed 27-17, then ripped of 34 straight to gobsmack the reeling Saints in New Orleans.
  12. Pittsburgh Stealers  – Next up for a good old fashioned thrashing by the Stealers – both New York teams have western PA on their itenerary.  
  13. Los Angeles Chargers – The best 3 win team is about all Red can say right now.
  14. Indianapolis Colts – The second best 3 win team is about all Red can say right now.
  15. Philadelphia Eagles– The third best win team is about all Red can say right now.  Are you sensing a pattern?
  16. San Francisco 49ers –  3 win team, blah, blah, blah. . .
  17. Seattle Seahawks – Could not beat the crippled 49ers. Losing to the Giants makes more sense now.
  18. Denver Broncos –  Red is really tired of trying to rank 3 win teams at this juncture of the season.
  19. Dallas Cowboys –  Without a doubt the worst 3 win team in the NFL.  The Cowboys are only a couple of plays away from being 1-5.  It’s hard to see more than another 3-4 wins for the Cowboys right now.
  20. Cincinnati Bengals – Well, someone had to be the best 2-win team.  A likely season saver in an ugly win over the Giants on Sunday.
  21. New York Giants – Speaking of the Giants. . .
  22. New York Jets –  Teams that play together (at least in the same stadium) should be ranked together.
  23. Miami Dolphins – Talk about a team that needed a week off.
  24. Arizona Cardinals – Beat the 49ers one week, get stomped by the Packers the next.  Welcome to the NFL.
  25. New Orleans Saints –  Red thinks he heard the death rattler on Sunday.  It takes real bad play to give up 34 points in a row.
  26. Las Vegas Raiders – Red has it on good authority that there were more people in the sports book at the Wynn than in the stands on Sunday.
  27. Tennessee Titans – Oh where to begin in ranking the dregs of the league.  Why in Nashville you say.
  28. Cleveland Browns – Would that every team could play the Browns each week. 
  29. New England Patriots – Texans finally win in Foxborough. Get used to it.
  30. Los Angeles Rams – Red reserves the right to rerank shitty teams even when they don’t play.
  31. Carolina Panthers – Sad!
  32. Jacksonville Jaguars – Never has a team expected so much and delivered so little. Well almost never.

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