From the Annals of Football – In 2003, the Dallas (Arlington) Cowboys announced that Bill “Big Tuna” Parcels would be their new head coach. The two time NFL Championship head coach would post a decidedly mediocre 34-30 record as the Cowboys’ coach – making the playoffs in 2003 and 2006 but never winning a playoff game. Since retiring (or being fired) after the 2006 season, Parcels has never coached again.
“There has to be a complete overhaul of the organization.”
Troy Aikman on the Dallas Cowboys (and a not so discreet smack down of Jerry Jones) a team that has won exactly two playoff games in the last 20 years, but equally applicable to the current state of the party formerly known as the GOP.
As Red has mentioned, he is perfectly okay with the Cowboys winning one playoff game every decade and they already have their win for the Teens when they eked out a come from behind win over the Lions in 2014.
Let’s start with the division of your NFL Champion Philadelphia Eagles.
Philadelphia Eagles – Here is Red’s favorite to repeat as NFC East champion. After all this team won the Superb Owl with a backup quarterback and a couple of trick plays over the greatest team of the 21st century led by perhaps the winningest quarterback the NFL will ever see. That said, the track record for championship teams the next season is spotty at best (putting aside the Patriots of course). Ask yourself, what have the Giants, Stealers, Saints, Broncos and Ravens done for you lately? And that said, the Eagles still have the best defense in the East, a returning Superb Owl MVP as the backup quarterback, a decent corps of wide receivers (addition of Mike Wallace could be big) and question marks in the backfield (see you later Fat Pig aka LaGarrette Blount). And that said, there is always the issue of the champions’ schedule. That schedule is doubly brutal this year as the Eagles are playing the AFC South which looks to have two playoff teams and the NFC South with potentially tough games against the Saints, Panthers and Falcons in the season opener on September 6. Looking up and down the Eagles’ schedule, the only games that one could count as sure wins are home games against the Giants and OTNA’s and maybe the Colts and Buccaneers. With the difficult schedule and a few question marks Philadelphia goes 11-5.
New York (Jersey) Giants – One possible last hurrah for Manning the Younger this season. A muted hurrah at best though. The Giants seem to be headed in the right direction with a new GM in Dave “the Gentlemen” Gettleman and head coach Pat Shurmur (formerly OC for the Vikings – who would have been surprise of the 2017 season but for the aforementioned Eagles). Shoring up the offensive line with Nate Solder (late of the Pats) and Rookie Will Hernandez may mean that EM is not running for his life on every other play. But the big reason to have hope among the Giants’ faithful is the addition of RB Saquon Barkley. Recent trials have shown that a fresh young running back – who can run, block and catch – lifts the entire offense. As Cowboys’ fans about E. Elliot and Jaguars’ fans about L. Fournette. If Barkley is the real deal, the Giants will not start 0-5 – maybe 2-3 with a brutal opening stretch of Jaguars, Cowboys, Texans, Saints and Panthers. New Jersey is 9-7. No soup for you.
Dallas (Arlington) Cowboys – It was something of a miracle that the Cowboys managed to win 9 games last year with their pathetic excuse for a defense through a good part of the season (giving up more 27+ points six times) and the offense that disappeared for six games. The only real changes are the subtractions of future HOFer Jason Whitten and future Huntsville resident Dez Bryant. This season rests on the ability of the Boys to consistently score 25 points per game. And that rests on the shoulders of the offensive line (still very good but no longer great) Dak P. (good) and E. Elliot (very very good). The Red Rule is back in play however. And for those who don’t remember that rule is – “Score 14 points and beat the Cowboys.” Here’s a stat for you – only the Cowboys, OTNAs and Lions have failed to play for an NFC Championship in the last 22 seasons. That doesn’t change for anyone this year. Arlington Cowboys are 8-8.
Washington (Landover, Md.) OTNAs – For new readers that means “Offensive Term for Native Americans.” The real offensive thing will be how badly the OTNAs stink this year. This is a franchise that aspires to mediocrity and just missed that mark with a season-ending loss to the godawful Giants in 2017. Alex Smith will be a boost as he is a guy who knows how to get the best out of the talent around him. It is the talent around him that is questionable. The offensive line is serviceable but skill positions are a lot of question marks. Red likes Smith and thinks he deserves a shot at the big ring. He just won’t get it with this season and not likely ever with this team. Landover, Md. struggles to a 7-9 record again.
PS: Red will throw in his annual bitch about the Cowboys TV schedule. The team that hasn’t sniffed a championship in going on 23 years now gets five primetime games (including the mandatory Thursday nighter) and six national TV late games (including the prime Thanksgiving spot) only one of which (Seahawks) is time zone related. At some point, people just aren’t going to hate the Cowboys enough for this ridiculousness to make sense.
Tony Spagnola writes about the sometimes tortured and heartbreaking history of the Dallas (Arlington) Cowboys franchise attempting to argue that but for a few bounces of the ovoid ball, the Cowboys could be the greatest team in NFL history. This is absolute must-reading for all haters of the Evil North Texas Football Empire.
They are remembered for such plays as The Hail Mary and Tony Dorsett’s 99-yard run. For Tom Landry and Tex Schramm and Jimmy Johnson and Jerry Jones. For Staubach and Aikman and Lilly and White, and of course for Emmitt becoming the NFL’s all-time leading rusher.
But funny, this occurred to me, oh, sometime after the Vikings’ seemingly cleansed the memory of the Hail Mary from that 1975 season with their Minneapolis Miracle to break the New Orleans Saints hearts three weeks ago:
These Cowboys, for all their greatness over all these years, sure can make a claim for simultaneously being known as The Heartbreak Kids. No, seriously. Do you realize the penance the Cowboys have paid over the years, the close call and seemingly cruel and unusual punishment at the end of games that has prevented them from becoming the greatest franchise in NFL history?
And Red’s personal favorite –
Remember 2006, Bill Parcells’ final season as head coach. Seattle. NFC Wild Card Game. Tony Romo’s first season to start. Cowboys trail 21-20, 3:10 remaining. Romo drives the Cowboys 70 yards to the Seattle 8. Only 1:53 left. Romo hits Witten at the 1, first down, right?
Oh, wait, there is a booth video review of the spot. And somehow referee Walt Anderson, after looking at video that was not shooting straight down the 1-yard line, announces he’s re-spotting the ball “at the 1½-yard line,” fourth down and one with 1:19 left.
Seriously.
And you know the rest of that story, Romo dropping the snap on what was going to be Martin Gramatica’s game-winning 19-yard field-goal attempt, and then is pulled down running for his life at the 2 by Seattle’s Justin Babineaux. Ball game. Season. End of Bill’s coaching career,
From the Annals of Professional Football – In 1963, Lamar Hunt moved the Dallas Texans to Kansas City and renamed the team the Chiefs. Hunt owned the AFL’s Dallas franchise which began playing , owner of the American Football League franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas City. The new team was named the Chiefs. It started operations in 1960, the first AFL season and the same year as the Dallas Cowboys. The team immediately faced serious competition from a new franchise in the older more established league. The Texans had a strong home-state identity with quarterback Cotton Davidson (Baylor), fullback Jack Spikes (TCU), and running back Abner Haynes (North Texas State). Haynes, was named the league’s Player of the Year after leading the AFL with 875 yards rushing and 9 touchdowns. The Texans were an offense-centric, high scoring team, but three closes losses kept them from challenging for the division title. They finished the 1960 season in second place in the West with an 8-6 record. The Texans averaged 24,500 for their home games at the Cotton Bowl, the highest average in the league. Hunt is considered to be the founding father of the AFL and one of the main reasons the league was able to survive until it merged with NFL in the Super Bowl era.
Hunt’s team is not to be confused with the 1952 incarnation of the Dallas Texans. That was an NFL team which was a transplanted version of the New York Yanks. The team lasted only one season in Dallas and was the last NFL franchise to fold up shop when owner Giles Miller sold the ailing franchise back to the league.
Red desperately wants a Dallas Texans t-shirt with that logo.
From the Annals of the Builders – In 1971,Texas Stadium officially opened in Irving with the Cowboys beating the New England Patriots 44-21.
The Cowboys’ original home was the Cotton Bowl at Fair Park in Dallas. However, by the late 1960’s, owner Clint Murchison, Jr. was concerned about that area of Dallas and believed that Cowboys’ fans should not have to experience any less than pleasant experience on their way to games. CMJ attempted to persuade Dallas to build a new downtown stadium as part of a municipal bond package, but failed to get any traction for the idea.
Murchison was a visionary and planned for a new stadium with sky boxes for elite patrons that would provide a new revenue source that would not have to be shared with other owners. He also came up with the idea of selling bonds (now called personal seat licenses) as a prerequisite to purchasing season tickets and as a way to finance construction of a new stadium to be located in nearby Irving.
The somewhat pretentiously named Texas Stadium was the first football only stadium built for an NFL team. NFL teams had long-played in baseball parks or stadiums such as the Cotton Bowl original intended for college football games. Then came a wave of multi-purpose stadiums such as the Astrodome. But Texas Stadium with its iconic hole in the roof (really an accident as the stadium was supposed to have a retractable roof) set the mark for NFL teams who now aspired to controlling their own venue. In the future, local taxpayers would bear the brunt of paying for the billionaires playgrounds.
Some call this the highest profile division in the entire NFL. It’s hard to argue with geography and tradition. When you have teams from the big cities in the Amtrak corridor (Giants, Eagles and OTNAs), and the hated and loved (but seldom indifferent to) Cowboys, not to mention three teams that have won multiple NFL Championships – then yes a lot of people are watching what happens here. And maybe more than any other division, the NFC East in recent years has been up for grabs like a Matt Schaub floater in the slot. No team has repeated as division champion since the Eagles in 2004. And since 2011, every team has won at least one division title with the Cowboys and OTNAs each grabbing a pair. Unlike the AFC East, this is a tough call
Eagles have done more than any other team to boost their offense at the skill position with Torrey Smith, Alshon Jeffery, Donnel Pumphrey, and LaGarrette Blount (aka the Fat Pig). The Fat Pig will function as the anti-Darren Sproles. Trading Jordan Matthews is a serious and unexpected blow, but the defense needed help. Most analysts think the Eagles are a year away. Red thinks that the Carson Wentz workshop will be cranking out a bunch of touchdowns with his new tools and a solid O line. Eagles score early and often. The addition of Derek Barnett may give the Eagles the best pass rush in the NFL. Red predicts Bosa, Barnett, Graham and Cox may combine to break the NFL team sack record in 2017. And just so you don’t have to look it up that would be the Bears 72 sacks in 1984. A relatively easy early schedule (at least compared to the division rivals) has the Eagles at 6-2 at halftime and with some breathing room. It gets tougher and the season-ending matchup at home against the Cowboys will be loser goes home. Eagles don’t lose. Philadelphia wins division with a hard fought 10-6 record.
Cowboys. Smart money is on the Cowboys with 2016 ROY Dak Prescott and suspended girl-beater Ezekiel Elliott returning from unbelievable stellar rookie seasons. If all that JerryWorld had to worry about was a sophomore slump from those two, then the Cowboys would be an easy pick. But hold on Hoss. Forty percent of the best O-line in football is gone with the unexpected retirement of excellent RT Doug Free and coveted LG Ronald Leary heading to the Broncos. They are not easy to replace and a unit that played together for several seasons is not readily replicated. Add to that, the near complete fruit basket turnover in the Cowboys secondary with CBs Claiborne and Carr and Safeties Chuch and Wilcox being shown the door. That leaves Byron Jones as the only remaining starter. Unless the pass rush is much better than anticipated, expect to see the secondary getting burned early and often by the excellent wide receivers in this division. And don’t forget the tougher champions schedule. The only potential nothing-burgers on the schedule are the Rams and 49ers. Every other team can beat the Cowboys. Red sees Arlington making it to 9-7 at best.
Giants will have the best defense in the NFL this season. The line has been solid and the secondary took a big step forward with addition of Janoris Jenkins. The big question for the Giants is the offense. Young Manning is now 36 and coming off his worst season in years. Maybe adding Brandon Marshall and Evan Engram helps, but unless the Giants can run the ball, look out for trouble. As with the Boys, the Giants have a tough schedule. The Week 2 matchup with the Cowboys could be critical since they will likely be coming off a loss to the Patriots in Week 1. Realistically, New Jersey comes in as 8-8 material, but they could grab second with the Elliott suspension looming.
OTNAs (that’s Offensive Term for Native Americans for the new readers) will blow. Disarray carries the day. Landover, Md. will be lucky to see 6-10.
Well it’s time for Red’s Annual Bitch about the favorable TV treatment afforded the Hated Arlington Cowboys franchise. Hang on to your Stetsons.
If for some unfathomable reason you are a Cowboys fan, most Sundays you can sleep late, linger over brunch, get in 18 holes, have an under-the-covers nap (aka siesta tradicional) and still be back in the recliner with nachos in hand in time for kickoff. It’s even better this season than usual for all you HAC fans. All Red can say is – at least your team made the playoffs last season and there is some slight justification for having a reasonable share of games on National TV – but nothing justifies this:
Week 1 Giants Sunday Night Game
Week 2 At Broncos Sunday Late Game
Week 3 At Cardinals Monday Night Game
Week 5 Packers Sunday Late Game
Week 7 At 49ers Sunday Late Game
Week 8 At Redskins Sunday Late Game
Week 9 Chiefs Sunday Late Game
Week 10 At Falcons Sunday Late Game
Week 11 Eagles Sunday Night Game
Week 12 Chargers Thanksgiving Late Game
Week 13 Redskins Thursday Night Game
Week 14 At Giants Sunday Late Game
Week 15 At Raiders Sunday Night Game
Week 16 Seahawks Sunday Late Game
So adding it all up, the Cowboys get:
3 Sunday Night games
8 Sunday Late Games with only 49ers and Broncos as time zone related
1 Monday Night Game
1 Thursday Night Game (mandatory)
And the traditional Thanksgiving game
For a grand total of 14 national TV appearances. That is well above the standard 11 national TV appearances that the league regularly doles out to America’s Team.
And if you are a fan of the hapless Texans (who have actually won more playoff games in the time of their miserable existence than the Cowboys have during that period) you had better plan ahead and expect that the games will totally mess up your Sunday afternoon plans.
Week 2 At Bengals Thursday Night Game
Week 5 Chiefs Sunday Night Game
Week 8 At Seahawks Sunday Late Game
Week 10 At Rams Sunday Late Game
Week 12 At Ravens Sunday Night Game
Week 16 Stealers Sunday Late Game
That’s 6 national TV appearances which is better than the usual schedule but only because of 2 west coast games against the Seahawks and Rams and the mandatory Thursday night game.
Red calls Bullshit.
Before every season, Red selects one unlucky soul as “Dead Man of the Year” for the previous season. The DMOTY goes every season to the player who Red reckons went from being an important cog in his team’s machinery to a completely useless tool sitting on the sidelines scratching his balls. That is, it recognizes the player who benefitted his team just about the same as would have a “Dead Man.”
And while injury alone cannot get you a DMOTY plaque to hang in your mancave, not being able to reclaim your job when healthy will factor into Red’s consideration. So as with last year, there really wasn’t much serious competition among the dead wannabes in 2016. JJ Watt is not in the running because he had a season-ending injury. Brock Osweiler lost his job in week 14, was on life support until Tom Savage went down and then he actually guided his team to a playoff win (albeit against the rudderless Raiders). Darrell Revis got scorched early and often but did make some plays. Cam Newton set a nearly impossible standard to match in 2015 and so his mediocre 2016 (behind a truly horrid offensive line) looks worse than it should. Flacco Joe has been waiting in the wings for a DMOTY for almost decade – he was close in 2016 but his time will come.
And while there may never be another player as worthy of the DMOTY award as Johnny Football in 2015, Red is proud -mind you – proud to present the 2016 Dead Man of the Year Award to none other than Tony Romo.
The longtime Cowboys’ quarterback was injured in the pre-season and unavailable for much of the season. But despite his impressive career over parts of 10 seasons and the old adage that you don’t lose your job because of injury, TR was unable to get back in the lineup to replace a rookie until he played a series in the Cowboys meaningless last game against the hapless Eagles. To give TR credit, he led his team on a 6 play scoring drive ending with a 3-yard touchdown pass to Terrance Williams. Other than that – bupkis – as rookie Dak Prescott stole the ever pliable hearts of dedicated Cowboys fans – at least until the playoff game against the Packers when he did a reasonable “Tony Romo in the Playoffs” impersonation until a wild 4th quarter. And even if it bends the rules just a bit, Red is more than happy to do so to name Tony as the 2016 DMOTY. As it turns out, the 2016 DMOTY award may be the final trophy on the Romo family shelf – unless the dedicated golfer makes it to the Senior Tour. Straight and long, Tony.
ESPN is reporting that Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo will retire and take up a career in broadcasting. This means that all of Houston can let out a collective sigh of relief (or cry of agony as the case may be). Red for one is glad that the Texans will not fall for the trap of signing a tired, old Tony Romo to be their starting QB for what would likely be 3 games before he goes down for the season. The idea that TR was the answer to the Texans’ quarterback problem always struck Red as ludicrous. Romo had a track record of near abject failure in the playoffs and to think that would change in Houston was a pipedream.
Dallas is expected to designate Romo as a post-June 1 release, softening the blow against the Cowboys’ cap this season. Instead of counting $24.7 million in 2017, Romo would count $10.7 million this year and $8.9 million in 2018. The Cowboys would gain $14 million in cap space, but it would not become available until June 2. But after Tuesday, Romo will no longer be with the Cowboys.
Romo’s decision came down to his health, sources close to the situation told ESPN. Romo, who turns 37 on April 21, believes his family and his health are paramount at this time in his life. He was limited to playing in just parts of five games over the past two seasons because of collarbone and back injuries, and he suffered a compression fracture in his back last August that led to him ultimately giving way to Dak Prescott.
The upside for Red is that Romo is rumored to replace addled and incoherent Phil Simms in the booth next to overrated and annoying Jim Nantz. Nothing would make Red happier than TR having to put up with prima donna Nantz and his smarminess on 18 weekends next season.
Life in Texas Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Official Site
Motivate | Inspire | Uplift
At Play In The Archive
IN MEMORY EVERYTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN TO MUSIC -Tennessee Williams
Fore All Golfer!
Optimising sports performance
Climbing, Outdoors, Life!
WHERE THE GAME IS WON
Lost in the love of words, books and colors
heather schramm-lifestyle photographer
Commentary from a Paleoconservative and Nationalist perspective
Houston Texas Artist
A sound viewpoint ought to be convincing
The hidden places of Dallas
For Texas Election Officials, Voters, and Policymakers
lopsided humor, standup comedy and more...
Gain Long-term Freedom From Addiction
A collection of various things: hodgepodge, mishmash, variety
Italian Home Kitchen Blog
Let's build.
She sails the seven seas in search of FREEDOM
I’m the creator of WithLoveWen.com - a lifestyle blog.
Life goes on.
Life in Texas Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
A site to supplement what we do in Room 113 day in, day out
Life in Texas Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Books, Music, Movies, Art, Politics, Sex, Other
Life in Texas Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Life in Texas Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Paradise in Hell 