“I hope you don’t have friends who recommend Ayn Rand to you. The fiction of Ayn Rand is as low as you can get re fiction. I hope you picked it up off the floor of the subway and threw it in the nearest garbage pail. She makes Mickey Spillane look like Dostoevsky,” – Flannery O’Connor.

From the Dish – Quote of the Day

This week’s NFL Prediction Six-Pack

“I want to own an NFL franchise. I understand the business of football.”

Jon Bon Jovi

First thing to learn, never smile at the Refs – they will have no respect for you. Second thing to learn, owning an NFL team is a license to print money.

Last week 2-4. For the season 19-23. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Your I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead Pick of the Week.

Bills over Dolphins. Before we start, there are a number of marquee games this week so catch up on sleep Saturday night.  But who would have predicted this match-up to be a critical game at the beginning of the season.  With both teams at 5-4, the winner here has a clear path to the playoffs while the loser is in deep doo-doo in the heavily stacked AFC.  An article in the WSJ last week characterized Kyle Orton as the best quarterback that no one wants.  KO is on his 5^th or 6^th team at least and has compiled a winning record as a starting QB and he did lead the Bears to the playoffs before being replaced by Rex GrossMan.  Maybe he has found redemption in Buffalo – for at least one season.  Dolphins are definitely moving in the right direction but I still think they are a year away.  And next year they will be a year away yet again. Orchard Park, NY 30 Miami 23.

Your Living on a Prayer Pick of the Week

Texans over Browns. In desperation, Bill O’B. turns to untested and untried Ryan Mallett to resurrect the season.  Get down on your knees and pray Bill.  I highly doubt that the Mallett is the long-term answer for this perennially ailing franchise, but he just might provide the boost the Texans need to win this week.  The Texans have a highly effective running game, a defense that is steadily degenerating (well maybe Mark Sanchez doesn’t suck quite as much as one might hope) and a pathetic passing attack.  If Mallett can create a mediocre passing offense –then maybe there is a chance to win 8 games beating the Jaguars twice, Titans once and picking off the Browns or some other good team. Meanwhile, when was the last time you actually heard anyone mention Johnny Douchenozzle? Houston 21 Cleveland 20.

Your You Give Love a Bad Name Pick of the Week.

Panthers over Falcons.  This week’s Shit Bowl features two teams who really have no business being in the Shit Bowl but who have more than earned the privilege this season.  Carolina got waxed on Monday night –not so much by the Eagles steamroller of an offense – but by their own ineptitude.  Falcons (who incredibly were 2-1 after 3 weeks) seem completely lost other than when playing a bad team like the Buccaneers last week.  Make no mistake – the Panthers are a bad team right now – but are they “Beat by the Falcons” bad?  If Cam plays like he did this week, looking sore-legged and confused, the answer is “Yes.”  But if he shows any signs of life then maybe the Panthers season survives.  The good news we will find out on Sunday.  The bad news – it will take this colossal colon collision to find out on Sunday.  Carolina 14 Atlanta 10.

Your Lay Your Hands on Me Pick of the Week.

Cardinals over Lions. It sucks to be Carson Palmer – except for that $20 million guaranteed part.  To me, the Lions are the most-surprising team in the league this season.  I was not a believer but the facts are the facts.  The Lions are going to the playoffs barring a complete collapse.  The Cards should also be booking their tickets.  This is big test for super-sub Stanton going against the top rated defense in the league. Yeah, you read that right.  It all adds up to your NFL Game of the Week. Arizona 23 Detroit 21.

Your In These Arms Pick of the Week.

Eagles over Packers.  Mark Sanchez is now doing his best Jeff Garcia imitation.  And it’s bringing down the house.  With the weapons at his disposal Sanchez does not have to be great – but he has been anyway.  And the Packers are steadily working their way to another playoff appearance.  This one is another likely choice for your NFL Game of the Week and Fox can’t go wrong in showing this one or the Cards/Lions game to the unclaimed regions of our fair nation.  Philadelphia 38 Green Bay 35.

Your Wanted Dead or Alive Pick of the Week.

Patriots over Colts. Poor old Red’s picture would be on that poster if you followed my gambling advice last week.  Stealers lost to the Jets and didn’t come close to covering the over.  This week for sure I’ve got it right. Taking the Pats plus 3 on the road against the Colts and the over at an incredibly high 57.5.  Both defenses suck and both QB’s can light it up on a good night.  Playing in the Dome means no weather troubles.  Don’t bet the farm – just the back pasture.  New England 38 Indianapolis 29.

From the Annals of Constitutional Democracy –  In 1835, the Consultation adopted the Declaration of November 7, 1835, a statement of causes for taking up arms against Mexico in the run up to the Texas Declaration of Independence. The Declaration stated that the Texians had taken up arms in defense of their rights and liberties and the republican principles of the Mexican Constitution of 1824, and that the Texians had the right to establish an independent government.  It further promised to reward those who took up the cause of independence with lands and citizenship.

This week’s NFL Prediction Six-Pack

“Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.”

Don Shula

In the dictionary next to “bad luck” – picture of the Houston Texans’ logo.

Last week 4-2. For the season 17-19. The Rams?  Really?

Your Lucky Strike Pick of the Week

Panthers over Eagles. I picked the Eagles to win it all this season, but that was before they left nrg Stadium on Sunday without a starting quarterback and middle linebacker.  Now their fate rests in the hands of the redoubtable Mark Sanchez.  Sanchez probably doesn’t suck as much as most of us seem to remember.  He did lead the Jets (the Jets mind you) to back to back appearances in the AFC Championship game in his first two seasons.  After that, not so much.  He doesn’t get to play the hapless Texans every week.  Make that the hapless Texans missing their top two cornerbacks. Meanwhile Panthers desperately need a win to keep from falling further behind a thoroughly mediocre Saints team. Carolina 24 Philadelphia 19.

Your Lucky Pierre Pick of the Week.

Ravens over Titans. Until last season, I would have bet money that Flacco Joe had sold his soul to the Devil.  After all, he is the only guy with a better start to his playoff career than the aforementioned Mark Sanchez.  Now, I’m not so sure.  Then you look at the Ravens schedule.  Sure they have played some tough teams.  But they got the Stealers before Rotlessburger starting going insane and a decidedly down Panthers team.  Still if they only beat the weak sisters and the lame, they have a very good shot at the playoffs.  The Titans are weak and lame.  Is there really anything more you need to know? Baltimore 35 Tennessee 17.

Your Lucky in Vegas Pick of the Week.

Stealers over Jets. Rotlessburger throws 9 touchdowns in this one capping off the most remarkable 4 week run in NFL history.  Find your bookie, take the Stealers minus 4 (really minus 4 against the Jets?) and take the over at 45.5.  Hell, the Stealers might score 46 by halftime.  Maybe the Texans can land Rex Ryan as their new Defensive coordinator. Pittsburgh 72 New Jersey 6.

Your Bad Luck Chuck Pick of the Week.

Buccaneers over Falcons.  A formidable Shit Bowl this week – possibly in the running for Shit Bowl of the Year when all is said and done.  What has happened to the Falcons?  They don’t have the same excuses that the Texans do and they look even worse than last season.  The only question now is will Mike Smith be fired before the end of the season?  The answer: Yes.  In fact this week might be it for the white-haired wonder. Tampa Bay 17 Atlanta 14.

Your Lucky Luciano Pick of the Week.

Seahawks over Giants. Seahawks –  mediocre offense, very good defense, excellent rushing attack, ineffective passing game.  Giants – mediocre offense, pathetic defense,  average rushing and passing game.  I hear over and over from the local wags that the Texans can’t win with a below average quarterback.  Somehow the Seahawks manage to do just that.  Wilson barely averages 200 yards and takes a fair number of sacks, but  he is careful with the ball. Key to the game – can Russell Wilson get it together against the awful Giants defense?  Yep.   Seattle 27 New Jersey 17.

Your Lucky Money Pick of the Week.

Jaguars over Cowboys. I always pick the Wembley games every season just because.  Extra incentive this week with Cowboys suddenly staggering around looking for a place to fall. Meanwhile, Jaguars are trying to pick themselves up out of the gutter.  I hope this one is nasty. Jacksonville 30 Arlington 13.

From the Annals of Incredible Exploration – In 1528, the eighty survivors of the Narváez expedition washed ashore on an  island off the Texas coast.  Panfilo Narvaez had participated in the conquest of Mexico with Hernan Cortes and was seeking his own fame in leading an expedition to the gulf coast.  He was no Cortes, however, and through a series of blunders in exploring the interior of Florida about 250 of his men were forced to build rafts in an attempt to return via the Gulf Coast to Mexico.  The flotilla made its way towards the Mississippi where most of the rafts were lost in storms and rough seas.  Some members of his ill-fated expedition managed to land in Texas.  Most of them died of disease, starvation or were killed by the hostile coastal tribes.  Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca nearly died but later made it to the mainland and worked as a trader and healer for several years with native groups before discovering that three other men – the slave Estevanico, Alonso Castillo Maldonado, and Andrés Dorantes de Carranza – had survived and were living as captives on the shores of Matagorda Bay.  He joined them and they all ultimately decided to escape and attempt to return to Mexico overland.  These “four ragged castaways” became the first non-native Americans to return from Texas.   Their remarkable journey took them across present-day west Texas and northern Mexico and ended when they arrived at the Spanish outpost of Culiacán near the Pacific in 1536. Cabeza de Vaca’s account of his amazing odyssey in his Relación detailed valuable ethnographic, geographic, and biotic information on Texas.

Whispering Pines by Johnny Horton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XnhL4DPebE

From the Annals of Only the Good Die Young – Country music star Johnny Horton was killed in a car wreck near Milano in 1960.  Horton had played at the Skyline Club in Austin and was travelling to Shreveport to go duck hunting with an old friend.  Around 2:00 a.m. Horton was driving his Cadillac across a narrow bridge when a truck driven by an intoxicated A&M student lost control hitting both sides of the bridge before colliding head-on with Horton’s car.  Horton was born in California but grew up in East Texas graduating from Gallatin High School and attending Kilgore Junior College.  He worked as a fisherman in the Northwest and Alaska, but embarked on a country music career in 1950.  He found his first real success on the Louisiana Hayride show in 1955 where he was initially billed at the “Singing Fisherman.”  His first No. 1 hit was “When it’s Springtime in Alaska” in 1956.  He went on to record classics such as “North to Alaska”, “The Battle of New Orleans”, “Sink the Bismarck”, “Johnny Reb” and one of my favorites “Whispering Pines.”