Tag Archives: Houston Texans

Red’s NFL Weekly Six Pack – Week 1

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Red will be back making his weekly picks with possibly some time off in October for vacation. Red promises to provide his sure-fire playoff picks in the next couple of weeks. But let’s get started with some fun and not a whole lot of analysis.

Your Early Game Pick of the Week For some unknown reason, the NFL kicks off on Wednesday with a replay of the Superb Owl LX when the Patriots travel west to face the Seahawks. Oh, who is Red kidding having a Wednesday night and Thursday night game is just another money grab for a league that has a back room employing poorly paid immigrants to shovel money in shifts 24 hours a day. Will the Pats be out to avenge their pathetic showing in February? Well, yes. But while revenge is a dish best served cold (pardon the aphorism), so is the Pats offense when facing a real team. And as always overcoming the reverse triple time zone hex while not as difficult as the regular triple time zone hex. Yes, the Seahawks have lost offensive whiz Klint Kubiak and Superb Owl MVP K. Walker but they still have one of the best defenses in the league. Seattle 24 New England 14.

Your Texas Team Pick of the Week – Meanwhile in Houston, the Texans have a chance to start the season on a very high note. CJ Stroud is a popular whipping boy right now. Josh Allen perhaps does not get the whipping he deserves for the failure to lead the Bills to the promised land. The Bills will have a good season but it gets off to a rough start when the Texans running game and defense dominate. Houston 21 Buffalo 13.

Your Blow-Out Pick of the Week – Look for the Lions to mop the field with the Saints on Sunday afternoon. The bad taste of last season is out of the Lions’ mouth. The Saints are trying to rebuild without much success. The Lions cover 7 rather handily. But as always Red’s prime caveat is do not bet the farm or even the front yard. Detroit 35 New Orleans 9.

Your Must Watch Pick of the Week – The Monday night matchup between the Chiefs and Broncos has Red really intrigued. Mahomes is back but pretty much without the wheels that fueled success early in his career. Kelce is not what he used to be now that he is a dedicated Swifty and the rest of the tools just really aren’t there. Andy will rely on a dink and dunk game with the only deep threat being X. Worthy. The Broncos still want to light it up and forget about sucking gas in the AFC Championship game with a third string quality QB at the helm. Look for Nix to have the better comeback in a very intriguing and entertaining game. Denver 31 Kansas City 27.

Your Ridiculous Road Game Pick of the Week – Every week where there is an NFL game on foreign soil Red will probably employ this category. And this week features what may be the most ridiculous NFL road game of all time when the 49ers and Rams face off in Melbourne. That is in Australia for the geographically challenged readers among you. And as far as Red can tell the only Australian this game will be the 49ers punter Mitch Wishnowsky. Although, Red has long been a fan of Australian Rules Football (although sad to see the referees in the white Fedoras are no longer a feature), Red now wishes that the NFL would continue to play games only in the Western hemisphere and leave football to the Australians as they like it. San Francisco 27, Los Angeles Rams 20.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – Some weeks it is a challenge to pick out a worthy matchup for the The Shit Bowl of the Week. Not this week when the Jets travel to Nashville to take on the Titans. Those who dare watch this game must put all sharp objects securely away, lest they be tempted to gouge out their eyes with a carrot peeler at half time. Don’t say Red didn’t warn you. But the rules of this exercise require Red to pick a “winner.” As previously noted, Red thinks the Titans are somewhat improved this season and this is a must win game for them to show that. Tennessee 11, New York Jets 9.

Red out.

Red’s 2026 NFL Picks – AFC South

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Red NFL Picks 2026 – AFC South

This is not the toughest division to call this year.  It seems  only two teams have a legitimate shot at winning this division. 

Houston – The Texans who proudly play in Houston are the favorite but not by much.  Oddsmakers have the Texans as favorites in 12 games which seems rather bold.  The Texans did have a remarkable finish to the regular season winning 9 in a row.  It looked nobody wanted to see the red hot Texans on the  opposing sideline. When the Texans handily dispatched the Chiefs on Christmas day and then annihilated the Stealers in the Wild Card game, Red though maybe just maybe.  But then came CJ Stroud’s sad showing against the Pats in Foxborough and the Texans remained a two and done playoff team at best.  The Texans benefitted from a favorable warm weather/indoor close to the regular season.  In 2026, they face a much tougher and possibly colder stretch drive with December/January games in Pittsburgh, Landover, MD, Philly and Green Bay.  Fortunately, the running game looks solid with veteran David Montgomery and Woody Marks coming off of a very nice rookie season. Receiving corps is serviceable and could be much better if deep threat speedster Tank Dell can stay on the field – or maybe even get on the field.  However, defense remains the strength of this team and HC Demeco Ryans’ core philosophy of putting together a winner.  Adding Jadeveon Clowney as a spot rusher to an already fearsome front 4 on the D line should be interesting.  The secondary is the weaker link but pressure on opposing QBs will help.  Red wishes he could be at Wembley in Week 6 to see the Jags game.  Texans are 13-4 and get to play a second round playoff game at home.

 Jacksonville – The Jags were the second hottest team to finish the 2025 season with 8 straight wins.  But a grain of salt is required as many of the 8 victims were the dregs of the league. The schedule is not quite so favorable in 2026.  The Jags play only 3 home games through Week 11 (not counting being “home” at Tottenham and Wembly) and have the unusual task of facing 3 straight road games.  This is a team with a lot of youngish playmakers and improving defense and a franchise quarterback entering what should be the prime of his career.  A tougher road probably keeps the division crown out of reach, but the Jags will be in the playoffs going 11-7.

Indianapolis –  The Colts on the other hand finished on the worst note of any team that didn’t completely suck – tanking to a 1-8 record to close out a miserable year in Hoosierville.  Daniel Jones is a perfectly capable quarterback when facing mediocre to poor defenses.  The question is can he step up against competition like the Ravens, Chiefs and Texans at the beginning of the season.  If the Colts win 2 out of those 3, the rest of the division will need to take heed.  J. Taylor is outstanding but was a bit overused with a league leading 323 carries last season out of strict necessity.  But the biggest question will be the availability of QB Daniel Jones.  The oddsmakers have the Colts win total at 7.5.  Sounds about right to Red.  He will bet on the come and call it 8-9 for the Colts.

 Tennessee – “I’ve seen teams suck before . . .”  Oh crap,  Red already used that one, but it could also be appropriate here.  But stranger things.  Red thinks the lowly Titans just might make some noise towards the end of the season.   Can Ward will be better in year two and has a new OC who may know how to use him.  The Titans defense can only get better after giving up 28 PPG in 2025.  HC Robert Saleh has worked to rebuild that sad sack outfit.  A better defense will keep the Titans in a lot of games.  Things are looking up in Nashville but almost everything is up when you have been so close to the bottom.  Titans are 6-11 and maybe just a bit better.    

Red’s 202(4) NFL Conference Semi-Final Picks

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For those of you paying attention and thinking about throwing some hard earned money at the misnamed “gaming” industry this weekend, you might note that Red was 6 for 6 straight up last week.

For those of you playing the line, Red was 5-0-1, with only the Commanders/Buccaneers matchup being a push. Red doesn’t typically pick base on the odds, but you might just want to think about that.

So on to the misnamed “Divisional Round” – a round in which two teams who were not division champions could face each other. Red will go to the mat in fighting to call this weekend the Conference Semi-Finals – only because that is exactly what these games are. On to the picks:

Texans over Chiefs. Call Red crazy – he doesn’t mind because he probably is for making this pick. Let’s look back at the Texans’ painful playoff history against the Chiefs.

In the 2015 playoffs the Chiefs walloped the 9-7 Texans at NRG 30 to ZIP. This game was pretty much over after Knile Davis took the opening kickoff 106 yards for a score. Ugh. Red had almost forgotten that long Saturday afternoon.

What Red clearly remembers is the beacon of hope that shone in the first 18 minutes of the Texans/Chiefs game on Jan. 12, 2020. The football world was shocked when the Texans went up 24-0 on the Chiefs. Normality was restored by halftime with the Chiefs leading 28-24 in route to a 51-31 rout. It would take several years for the Texans to shake off that ass whomping.

So why should this year be any different? The Chiefs are not the same juggernaut they have been for the past many years. The running game is suspect. Mahomes has to carry the team – which would be a dream come true for most. CJ Stroud seems to have shaken off his sophomore slump and if Joe Mixon can bruise and cruise for over 150 yards and a brace of TDS, the Texans have a chance. But more critically, Red thinks the Chiefs have run out of rabbits and maybe even the hat to pull them out of. A team only gets some many miraculous finishes in one season. And the Texans showed real signs of life last week against a very good Chargers team. It’s a close call. Houston 27 KC 24.

Lions over Commanders. The Lions are the best team in the NFC by a long shot. Red thinks that only the Rams might have a chance against them if they make it through a frigid Sunday afternoon in Philly. Goff is playing at his best (ask the Vikings), Gibbs is bruising defenses and the Lions defense is good enough to hold down the fort. The Commanders have had a good season (meaning any season the Cowboys don’t win the NFC East) and certainly should be thinking they have a chance. But Red isn’t saying that. Take the Lions forget about the spread. Detroit 45 Washington 17.

Eagles over Rams. People are raving about how the Rams played down the stretch. But tell Red this, other than beating the Bills at home in a wild 44-42 game that could have gone either way – who did the Rams beat before waxing the overrated Vikings in the Wildcard round? The Patriots, Saints, Jets, 49ers, Cardinals – no one of consequence. Red knows you can probably say the same thing about the Eagles. And while Red doesn’t normally place much meaning in a regular season matchup, the Eagles did dispatch the Rams with some ease back in November. Only a garbage time touchdown by the Rams kept that game from looking like more of a rout. The Rams had no answer for Mr. Barkley who had 255 yards on 26 carries. Red will let you do the math. If Hurts has just an average game, with the best back in the game right now controlling the ball, Red just doesn’t see the Rams as being able to keep up. It may be close for a while, but the Eagles close out strong. Philadelphia 31 Los Angeles 20.

Bills over Ravens. Red hates picking this one. These are two teams who both deserve a shot at the Conference title. The Bills have been pretty consistent all year with but a few bumps in the road (maybe the loss to the Texans doesn’t look so bad and losing to the Ravens and Rams is no mark of disgrace). The Ravens started the season 0-2, then corrected course for a while beating the Bills 35-10, then it was up and down but come mid-December they have been really unchallenged and playing their best football. This one all comes down to who has the better game Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson. The difference might be a single sack, an interception or a turnover on downs. This one is down to the wire as it should be. And is too much to ask for a blizzard game? Buffalo 31 Baltimore 28.

Red’s 2024 – NFL Rankings Week 4

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Red was undecided about the title. Should it be Week 3 because that is the week have just finished and rankings are based on those results or Week 4 because that is the week that is coming up. Not that it matters, but the consensus is this is Week 4.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs seem to be living on borrowed time. They are not scoring in the red zone, relying on field goals and where the hell is Mr. Kelce? But as noted until they lose the defending champs hold on to No. 1 spot.
  2. Buffalo Bills – The Bills offense is just playing better than any other team in the league right now.
  3. Minnesota Vikings – Surprise, surprise, surprise. With apologies to PFC Pyle. And if you don’t get that reference – well good for you. Total domination of the previously undefeated Texans.
  4. Seattle Seahawks – Seahawks will be hard pressed to stay undefeated unless the offensive line plays better.
  5. Pittsburgh Stealers – Red zone offense is horrible, yet they are 3-0. Red doesn’t argue with success.
  6. Philadelphia Eagles – Injuries and turnovers by Mr. Hurts abound. Eagles need to right the ship before division play.
  7. Detroit Lions – Another team with red zone troubles. Red senses a trend here.
  8. San Francisco 49ers – Injuries to the big playmakers (Deebo, McCaffery and Kittle) are a major cause for worry in Santa Somewhere.
  9. New Orleans Saints – Tayson Hill makes this offense very hard to defend against. Saints fans hope for a quick return.
  10. Los Angeles Chargers – Without Herbert look for a quick drop in the rankings next week.
  11. Green Bay Packers – Red doesn’t believe. But then again who cares what Red thinks?
  12. Houston Texans – Last week the Texans were . . . um . . . pummeled . . . yes pummeled is the word Red was looking for. And they get the biggest drop of the week as a reward.
  13. Baltimore Ravens – Ravens got a desperately needed win against the sagging Cowboys. They were swirling the drain in the 4th quarter but managed to hang on in what could be a season saver.
  14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Lack of rushing yards, not a problem as yet.
  15. New York Jets – Beating up on the weak sisters of the league only gets you so far.
  16. Washington Commanders – Moving in the right direction. Win over the Cardinals would be big right now.
  17. Arizona Cardinals – Trouble on the O line gets the Cards top spot as mediocre team of the week.
  18. Los Angeles Rams -Being down your top two wideouts usually spells trouble in this league.
  19. Atlanta Falcons – A credible showing against the Chiefs. NFC South looks to be a dog fight between 3 teams right now.
  20. Dallas Cowboys – Cowboys defense has been wretched in first 4 games. Barely beating the Giants on Thursday was not a good look.
  21. Cleveland Browns – Is Flacco Joe still available? No. Hmmm.
  22. Miami Dolphins – Is Flacco Joe still available? See above.
  23. Las Vegas Raiders – An unbalanced attack forced by having to continually play from behind spells trouble in the desert.
  24. Indianapolis Colts – Should not be this bad. Anthony Richardson needs to step up or step down.
  25. Chicago Bears – Untapped potential so far this season.
  26. Denver Broncos – Red always manages to end up with a worthless Bronco running back on his fantasy team.
  27. New York Giants – Credible effort against a sagging Cowboys squad.
  28. Jacksonville Jaguars – “I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” H. Simpson. A useful quote likely to be heard again this season.
  29. Carolina Panthers – Who needs Flacco Joe when you have the Red Rifle? Very impressive, but can he keep it up?
  30. New England Patriots – How the mighty have fallen. Flat on their face apparently.
  31. Cincinnati Bengals – On life support right now.
  32. Tennessee Titans – Someone pull the plug, please.

Red’s 2024 NFL Preseason Picks (sort of)

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AFC South

At one time the division of excellence.  Who knows now?  The TV schedulers don’t seem to think much of the divisions as it is the only one without a division matchup in prime time in 2023. 

Houston –  Disclaimer – the Texans are Red’s favorite team despite their record of tepid mediocrity.  And here is a good stumper: Since the Texans came into the league, which team has won more playoff games – the Texans or the Cowboys?  I think you can guess the answer.  But on to this season.  Texans fans have a lot to look forward to this season.  Second year QB (and 2023 Offensive ROY) CJ Stroud has every appearance of being the real deal and with new found help from pickups Stefon Diggs and Joe Mixon, there are now legitimate A-players at RB and WR.  Beyond Diggs there are a solid possession receiver in Nico Collins and Tank Dell who can stretch the field.  This takes a lot of pressure off CJS and if the O Line holds up, this could be a very dynamic offense.  On the other side is at least a mid-pack defense who should be able to hold most teams to the twenties and give the offense a chance to win games.  And the defense could be better if top notch players like Derek Stingley, Jr., Will Anderson and Danielle Hunter don’t have to carry the load.  It seems that good players want to come to Houston to play for an up and coming coach in DeMeco Ryans.  The schedule has some legit opponents and time will tell if the Texans are able to compete with the likes of the Bills, Lions, Cowboys, Dolphins, Chief and Ravens.  And moving into the spotlight has its challenges, in the  second half of the season, the Texans will be playing on short rest several times.  But on a positive note, they have 3 primetime games in a row in weeks 9 to 11 including the Cowboys on MNF. Closing out the season with the Chiefs and Ravens (on Christmas Day) in weeks 16 and 17 is a tall order.  The Texans better have 10 wins under their belt by then.  Texans go 11-6 to take division.

Jacksonville –  Red has nothing really bad to say about the Jags.  A late season collapse in 2023 cost the Jags a playoff berth – which the Texans happily filled. Is Trevor Lawrence truly the franchise quarterback that his $275 million deal says he is?  The Jags may have the second best defender in the division in Josh Hines Allen who had 17.5 sacks in 2023.  But this does not look like a playoff team right now?  Hey, it could happen if the Jags can beat at least 3 of the 5 very good teams they will face (Texans twice, Bills, Eagles, Dolphins).  That’s a tall order.   Jaguars go 9-8 and are on the bubble. .

Indianapolis –  The Colts have talent, they have a good quarterback (we think) in Anthony Richardson who has only played in a small sample size of  4 NFL games.  The Colts also have a good coach, good stadium and loyal fanbase.  Red never discounts any team that has Flacco Joe on the roster.  FJ had the greatest start of any quarterback in NFL history leading his team to playoff wins in each of his first six seasons with a Superb Owl victory in the 2011 season.  Of course he got smoked by the Texans in the playoffs last year, but still won Comeback Player of the Year.  All in all, and despite the magnificent presence of FJ, it  adds up to another losing season.  Colts are 7-10.

Tennessee – Steady decline best describes the trajectory of this franchise as of late.  Just a few years ago, this team had Super Bowl pretensions that seemed credible.  Breaking out the Oilers throw-back jerseys against the Texans in Week 16 last season pretty much backfired with the Titans losing and none other than JJ Watt claiming that the Texans “get the uniforms back.  That’s how this works.  Sorr, not sorry.  Too bad, so sad.”  Which probably sums up the Titans’ 2024 effort.  6-11.

Red’s 2021 NFL Predictions – AFC South

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Red used to refer to the AFC South as “The Division of Excellence” or something like that because like Rodney Dangerfield it “got no respect” from most of the pundits despite frequently having among the best collective records of any division in the NFL.   Of course, the AFC South has all of one – count it one – NFL Championships coming with the Colts win over the Bears in 2006.  The Colts accounted for the division’s only other AFC Championship but lost to the Saints in the 2009 Superb Owl.

Last season, the division was dominated by two excellent squads with Tennessee and Indianapolis both posting 11-5 records while the Texans (4-12)  and Jaguars (1-15) soiled the bed linens.  Neither the Colts nor the Titans could make it out of the Wild Card round as the Titans lost a tough game against the Ravens while the Colts almost knocked off the Bills. 

Moving on to this season, Red doesn’t see much reason for change at the top or the bottom of this division.

Tennessee  Titans (11-6).  Red picks the Titans to repeat as division champs.  Admittedly, it is hard to look at the Titans 2021 schedule and not wonder how exactly 10 wins will be forthcoming.   Other than the 4 games against the Texans and Jaguars there appears to be only one soft spot on the schedule in week 4 against the Jets.  But with loyal fans like Jana (originally from Germany but now woefully ensconced somewhere in Florida) who had her car “wrapped in the Tennessee Titans logo” and whose “biggest wish is for the team to autograph my car” – how can this team miss?  With the amount of offensive firepower Coach Mike Vrabel and new OC Todd Downing have at their disposal, this team should easily be among the AFC leaders in points scored if not for the fact that they play in the same conference with the Chiefs, Bills, Ravens and Browns.  Geez guys you got A J Brown, Derrick Henry and Julio Jones.  Even All-Mediocre QB Ryan Tannehill should be able to do something with that bunch. Red also likes the addition of wily veteran Jackrabbit Jenkins to the secondary  and Bud Dupree to linebacking corps.  JRJ earns the wily designation because he has scored 10 career touchdowns ranking first among active defensive players (JJ Watt may beg to differ).  If Dupree is fully recovered from his torn ACL he gives the Titans another legit edge rusher.  

Indianapolis Colts (9-8).   The most exciting news out of the Colts training camp does not involve who will replace P. Rivers under center, but rather the Throwback Game on November 28  against the NFL Champion Buccaneers.  The big feature of the throwbacks will be the double horseshoes on the back of the helmet.  Red for one can hardly wait to see the ghosts of  Weeb Eubank, Jonny Unitas , Don Ameche and Tom Matte rallying the Colts to an OT win over the hated Buccaneers.  And for Dad, the Colts Cheerleaders (claiming to be the NFL’s first cheer squad) will also be sporting throwbacks.  Sorry no pictures available.  As for the team, who knows?  Sam Ehlinger from Texas could be the starting QB by Week 13 when the Colts come to Houston.  Ehlinger is undefeated at NRG having trounced Rice in 2019 and Missouri in the 2017 Texas Bowl.  The Colts could do worse.  As with the Titans, the Colts don’t have a favorable schedule and one that is possibly harder than the Titans with the matchup against the aforementioned defending champion Bucs.  Other than the weaklings of the AFC South and the Jets, every game looks like a toss-up. 

Jacksonville Jaguars (6-11).  No team in the league has tried harder to get better with fewer results than the Jags.  Given the current pathetic state of London’s favorite team, it is hard to believe that the Jags were one touchdown away from playing in the Superb Owl in 2017.  Things do change fast in this era.  In the biggest news since Donald Trump professed his undying love for North Korean Dictator Kim Jung Un, new Jaguars Head Coach Urban Meyer recently declared, “I love Bobby Bowden” while mourning the death of his long-time Florida football rival at age 91.  Oh yeah, and in addition to adding the second most successful college coach of the last 20 years, the Jags have a new QB who is the latest in a long line of “can’t miss” top of the draft class rookies.  Red thinks the book is out on Trevor Lawrence until at least a couple of chapters are written.  Ask Jonny Manziel, Sam Bradshaw, Jamarcus Russell, David Carr, Vince Young, Andre Ware and Joey Harrington about this.  Coming into a sad-sack franchise often plays a role in the transformation from an NFL career back to being a working stiff (albeit a rather wealthy stiff) in civil society – and the sacks don’t get much sadder than they do in Jacksonville. 

Houston Texans (3-13-1).  Hey Bill, how many games do you think the Texans will win this year without your brilliant leadership skills? See photo above for answer.  Well the Texans would be right in claiming that  “Bad luck and trouble -my only friends.”  Perhaps the Texans were born under a bad sign.  Red won’t recount his personal travails with the franchise (like the 1422 days after the franchise opening win against the Cowboys and attending another game in which they eked out a win).  The fallout from the Bill O the Clown era will be with the team for a good while.  If there has been a more incompetent team leader, Red sure can’t summon up the name.  BO the C routinely gave the store away in trades, ran off good players, pissed off the media and the fans, repeatedly showed his incompetence in game management and yet, somehow managed to win four AFC South division titles and two playoff games.  Notably, BO the C only had one season with more than 10 wins in 2017 but then his team got gobsmacked by the Colts in the Wild Card round.   Admittedly, some blame has to be placed on the shoulders of Team President (and leading candidate for starring in a Captain Kangaroo revival) Cal McNair whose only qualification for the job is being winner of the lucky sperm club.  Oh enough whining Red.  Last year it took Red about 2 seconds to take the Texans up on their generous offer to defer purchasing season tickets.  This year it took Red at least 5 minutes to pull the plug on his 20 year run as season-ticket holder.  All that said, Red thinks the Texans will surprise a few teams.  Make  that embarrass.   Oh, and Red hears there is some news about DeShaun Watson.  Do tell.   

Bill O’ the Clown Triumphs in First Round of 2020 NFL Draft

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All you Texans’ fans can be proud of what Head Coach/GM Bill O’Brien did in the first round of the 2020 NFL draft.  Absolutely nothing.  Red was expecting Bill to trade away some more draft picks and All-Pro talent to pick up a player in the first round that the experts had going in the third round at best.  So Kudos to Bill for sitting on your hands.

It won’t last.

In an amazing (but not altogether unpredictable) turn-around, the Houston Texans lost to the Kansas City Chiefs by 20 points after being up 24-0 in the second quarter of Sunday’s playoff game.  The 44 point swing may be the largest post-season change in NFL history.  Red is going to bother looking that one up, because it doesn’t matter if the Texans C-H-O-K-E is historic – the humiliation and disappointment is enough.

The Texans were effectively gifted 14 points on a blocked punt (give the special teams credit) and a muffed punt by KC speedster Tyreek Hill (curiously attempting a punt return for only the second time this season).   But still a 24-0 lead should guarantee a competitive game down the stretch.  Not so for the hapless Texans.  Red does not fault Head Coach Bill O’ the Clown O’Brien for taking a field goal when faced with 4th and 1 in the “red zone”.   But after the Chiefs marched effortlessly down the field following a brilliant kick-off return, BO botched the next series with a foolish fake punt that even Red could see coming.  That gave the Chiefs another short field and after another quick score to make it 24-14 –  a new lease on their playoff football life.

The Chiefs proceeded to ultimately score touchdowns on seven straight possessions while the Texans offense returned to the BO tank in which in normally lives.  Being outscored 51-7 in any stretch of any game is agony enough.  But when you had the game in hand it is a franchise altering result – or at least it should be.

If this debacle is not enough to get Bill O’ the Clown fired, then it is hard to imagine what would.  He and defensive coordinator Romeo “I’m not on the take from our opponents even though it sure looks like it” Cremel need to exit NRG this week.  If not, the talent on this team (and there is talent) will be wasted for at least one more season.

Really, the Texans need a clean sweep from top to bottom.  It starts with hiring an actual general manager who may be able to find someone, somewhere willing to take over this reclamation project.

Texans Owner Bob McNair Crosses the Final Goal Line

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Billionaire owner of the Houston Texans, Bob McNair, passed away last week.  Despite his overall disappointment with the completely mediocre franchise McNair built, Red will say nothing bad about McNair.  McNair was perhaps loyal to a fault hanging on to coaches, general managers and some players longer than prudent.  But that is not a real criticism except in the modern “What have you done for me lately” world of pro sports and other endeavors.

Red will say that there were two games he attended, which if Red had been the owner he would have gone down to the locker room at halftime and fired the head coach.

The first game was the home opener in 2005 against the Pittsburgh Stealers.  The Texans were down 20-0 at the half against a team led by the young wunderkind Ben Rothlessberger throwing two TDs to the underappreciated Hines Ward.  That was bad enough, but Red had never seen a supposedly decent team look so unprepared and overmatched and completely out of it from the beginning.  The second half was not much better and the Texans quietly surrendered 27-7 on their way to a 2-14 season.  Dom “the Dud” Capers would have been a goner under a Red regime.  As it turns out, that would have just saved Bob some trouble as Capers was fired at the end of the season.

The second game was the season opener against the New York Jets in 2009.  It wasn’t quite as bad at halftime as the Texans only trailed 17-0.  But the Jets were led by a rookie quarterback in Mark Sanchez playing in his first game and tearing the home team a new one.  Head Coach Gary Kubiak would have been on the street by 2 p.m. if Red was in charge.  The Texans would rally to a 5-3 record at mid-season only to lose four in a row and stumble to their first winning season ever at 9-7 (courtesy of a Patriots team that sat Brady for most of the last game of the season with nothing to play for).

Alas, Red will never own a professional sports franchise and incompetent head coaches everywhere are the safer for it.

Red’s 2018 NFL Predictions – AFC South

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Finally we get to a division that Red pays attention to – not that it matters.   This is the division of “Why do these towns have NFL teams anyway?”

Houston Texans –  Red was shocked to witness in person the offensive onslaught that Deshaun Watson led against the Titans in October.  That 57-14 ass whipping was as impressive an offensive show that Red has ever seen in a regular season NFL game.  It made Red a believer.  Red was also sadly present the next week when JJ Watt and Red favorite Whitney Mercilus went down in the space of about 57 seconds.  Losing Watson, Watt and Mercilus was the death knell for the Texans season.  Barring similarly crippling injuries this season, the Texans should be good enough to secure a playoff spot this year.  A lot rides on that first game in New England.  A win or even a credible loss will put this team on the right track.  Texans are 10-6 and in.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Lots of pundits are writing off the Jaguars as one-hit wonders and shitting on journeyman QB Blake Bortles.  BB may be mediocre but the rest of this team has enough talent to cover up the cracks.  Jaguars are also 10-6 and lose tiebreaker to the Texans.

Tennesee Titans – Red wants to believe.  Red also wants a job where you don’t have to show up and the money just sort of rolls in. Titans are 8-8 material.

Indianapolis Colts –  The Colts are just an Andrew Luck away from mediocrity.  They have no offensive line, one decent receiver, running backs???,  defense???, coaching???. Colts are 6-10.