Well, Let’s Just Not Have Any Fun.

The Austin American-Statesman reports a brewing controversy over a proposal to bring a 1000 foot temporary water slide to downtown Austin this summer.

A traveling slip-and-slide as long as three football fields plans to come to Austin later this year, according to its owners, whose announcement has delighted many Austin Bloggers and Facebook users. But organizers have encountered some of the issues that led Los Angeles to reject the water slide late last year. Austin is wrestling with a lingering drought, and last fall it declared the festival-fatigued central city area off limits for additional events, such as Slide the City, that would require streets to be closed.

In light of the city’s years-long effort to promote conservation, the event “does at first glance raise some concern about recreational water use during this time of drought,” according to a statement from the Austin Water Utility.

Concerns over water conservation seem to be overblown as the slide’s owners claim that it uses less water than the average backyard pool and that much of that water can be recycled.  But, let’s be pure and reject this.  It may not be much fun, but we will feel good about ourselves.

We need better schools, infrastructure, health care, environment – and most importantly – More Guns.

A video posted by Kory Watkins of Open Carry Tarrant County has raised hackles on both sides of the open carry debate currently raging in Texas.  In the video, Watkins seems to threaten Texas legislators with death if they commit the treasonous act of refusing to pass unlimited open carry legislation.  Watkins concerns may be highlighted by the fact that he might not be eligible for an open carry permit under one of the proposed bills because of his alledged past criminal record.  The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports:

In the four-minute video, Watkins, 31, says: “We should be demanding these people give us our rights back, or it’s punishable by death. Treason. Do you understand how serious this is, Texas?” The Texas Constitution says a person can be convicted of treason only for waging war or supporting enemies of the state. Watkins tells viewers to do “more than foots in doors.” He was apparently referring to his confrontation with Rep. Alfonso “Poncho” Nevarez at the Texas Capitol on Jan. 13, during which a gun-rights activist put his foot in a door to keep it from closing. Watkins has been a vocal advocate of legislation to allow open carry, something prohibited in Texas almost since the Civil War.

This is what now passes for serious debate in Texas.

Today in Texas History – February 5

From the Annals of Our “Freedom-Loving” Forefathers –  In 1840, the Congress of the Republic of Texas passed the Law of February 5 to keep free blacks from permanently settling in Texas.  White Texans were becoming concerned over the status of slavery in the new nation and were troubled by the notion of any free black citizens in Texas.  As a result, the Congress quickly moved to restrict the number of unenslaved blacks. The punitive law provided that all free blacks who had entered Texas after the Texas Declaration of Independence must leave the republic within two years or be declared slaves for the rest of their lives. Only those few free blacks who were already in the republic before Texas independence would continue to have all the rights as free citizens. The law did provide a method  to petition the Congress for an exception.  Records establish that the exception was used exactly once on behalf of David and Abner Ashworth whose petition was approved on December 12, 1840. The Ashworth brothers were the only free blacks to enter Texas after the Declaration of Independence who were given Congressional sanction to remain.  If only there had been high school football back then.

Last in So Many Things, But First in Wrong Way Crashes

The san Antonio Wrong Way Driver (WWD) Initiative

NBC 5 in Dallas reports that Texas leads the nation in wrong way crashes and is doing little to stop the resulting carnage on our highways.

Despite years of detailed recommendations to prevent wrong-way crashes, an NBC 5 investigation has found the Texas Department of Transportation has yet to implement many of those safety measures on North Texas roads. Meanwhile other states and even local toll road operators have taken steps that appear to be reducing the number of wrong-way incidents.

Texas leads the nation is wrong-way crashes. Using TxDOT data, NBC 5 Investigates has learned there have been almost 3,500 wrong-way crashes in just four years. Most are caused by drunken drivers who blow past warning signs and then slam head-on into other drivers.

553, 554, 555, 556 – Thanks for the coffee, Joe. Now, um, damn, 1, 2, 3, 4 . . .

Forbes reports that a Wichita Falls man was arrested while attempting to pay his $600 property tax bill with one dollar bills.

Only there’s a little bit more to the story than that. The 27-year old Texan, Timothy Andrew Norris, arrived in person at the Wichita County Courthouse to pay his $600 property tax with individual dollar bills – only there was a twist. Or, er, a fold. Norris had allegedly folded each bill so tightly that it “required tax office personnel approximately six minutes to unfold each bill.” If you’re doing the math, that means that it would take 3,600 minutes – or 60 hours, longer than a work week – to unfold the bills.

Norris was clearly within his rights as legal tender is an acceptable form of payment under Tex. Tax. Code 31.06.  The real trouble began when a crowd started forming around the spectacle prompting  Wichita County Tax Assessor-Collector Tommy Smyth to ask Norris to leave.  When he refused, Norris was arrested for criminal trespass and then compounded the problem by resisting arrest.  My guess is that he will be able to generate a considerable defense fund to fight off the charges.   And one can only wonder how long it took Norris to fold the dollar bills so tightly.

Today in Texas History – February 4

From the Annals of the Wildcatters –  In 1918, the No. 1 Chaney oil well began producing in Breckenridge.  There had been drilling in the area since 1911, but the success of the Chaney No. 1 began a boom which increased the population of Breckenridge from 800 to over 30,000.   Within months, over 200 derricks were drilling in the town and within two years there were over 2000 drilling sites in the immediate area. By 1919, production in the Breckenridge area was over 10 million barrels and peaked at over 31 million barrels in 1921.

The Greatest Quarterback in Pro Football History

There is a lot of run for Tom Brady after Superb Owl XLIX.   Well, what about a guy who took his team to the league championship game every year he played and won seven titles.  Who also posted a record of 114 wins, 20 losses and four ties, including going 9–3 in the playoffs.  Who also still holds the NFL record for career average yards gained per pass attempt (9).  Oh, and who also has an NBA Championship ring (assuming they gave out rings back then).  Of whom do I speak?

The incomparable Otto Graham who led the Cleveland Browns to 7 titles in the AAFC and the NFL and yes, won an NBA championship with the Rochester Royals.

Who does he think he is – Warren Sapp?

The Dallas Morning News reports that John Attanasio, the former dean of the Dedman School of Law at Southern Methodist University in Dallas was arrested by Texas Department of Public Safety officers on prostitution charges.  Attanasio was arrested early Sunday morning and booked into the Collin County Jail on charges of solicitation of prostitution.  He was released after posting a $500 bond for the charge, which is a Class B misdemeanor.  SMU has declined comment other than to confirm that Attanasio is still employed but will not be teaching classes this week.