Red Wants it All from a Trump Presidency and Republican Congress

Since the people have spoken and want the GOP in charge of everything, Red is jumping on the bandwagon and he wants it all.  Red wants the entire Trump/Republican agenda.  And he will be damn pissed off if it doesn’t come to pass.  Here’s what Red wants:

  1. The 12-15 million illegal aliens need to be rounded up and sent home. Every last one of those free-loading bastards.
  2. The beautiful wall on the southern border needs to be built and it better be a real wall.
  3. Mexico needs to pay for it.
  4. No more Chinese made crap in our stores.
  5. NAFTA needs to go.
  6. NATO allies – screw them. Whatever Putin wants is cool.
  7. Minimum wage – you’ll take what we give you and like it.
  8. Get rid of the EPA and environmental regulation – business knows best. Dirty air and water are a small price to pay.
  9. Discrimination laws gone – again business knows best.
  10. Hillary must be put in prison – Lock Her Up!
  11. Overturn Roe v. Wade.
  12. Women who get illegal abortions need to go to prison where they can hang out with Hillary.
  13. Better yet, the death penalty for an abortion because murder is murder.
  14. Massive tax cuts for the wealthiest.  They have been so put upon.
  15. More taxes for the poorest, it’s entirely their fault they are poor. They need to pay.
  16. End federal funding of education.  Dumber folks will continue to vote Republican.
  17. Recriminalize sodomy.  Those homos who are screwing each other need to go to jail
  18. End same sex marriage.  You decided to be queer – get over it.
  19. English only everywhere. Comprende, Pedro?
  20. Bring back the gold standard – get rid of the Federal Reserve.
  21. Take over fight for Mosul. Defeat ISIS and take the oil.
  22. No Muslims coming to the US.  Sorry Abdul, go back to camel racing.
  23. Bomb the ever-loving shit out of Iran. Then bomb them some more.
  24. Make it as hard as humanly possible to cast a vote – unless White of course.
  25. Stop and frisk every person of color whenever possible – they are probably criminals and just don’t know it yet.
  26. In fact, just let the police do whatever they think is best – as long as the Republicans are in control anyway.
  27. Enforce the Second Amendment.  You want a personal nuclear warhead, that’s cool because you have the right to bear arms and a nuke is an “arm.”  If you’re black and carrying a weapon, however, you are just asking for it.
  28. Endangered species – to stupid to live – not our problem.
  29. Global warming beats the hell out of global cooling.  Carbon is life.  We need more carbon.
  30. Coal mines.  Dig deeper.
  31. Steel mills – reopened.
  32. Wall Street needs to be set free to create more opportunities for the wealthy to get wealthier.  A rising tide . . . and all.
  33. Withdraw from the UN – bunch of commies.
  34. Repeal Obamacare.  Replace it with something that increases the bottom line for insurance companies.  They know best too.
  35. Social security and Medicare need to be privatized too.  People will make wise decisions – like investing in a Trump property or taking a class at Trump U.
  36. Balance the budget – recession be damned.
  37. Increase military spending – double what the rest of world combined spends just aint getting it done.

Red is sure there is more, but this is a good start.  He’ll get back to you.

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