Category Archives: President Trump

Lest Ye Forget

The Blood Stained Christmas Trees of the Apocalypse

FLOTUS never ceases to impress with her sense of style and utter tone deafness.

But really, how could Red not like these?

Merry Christmas to All

Your pal, Red

 

Trump Speaks – Red Translates

Our Crazy (believe me I know crazy), Do Nothing (she should be like me and put in that tough 4 hours day in and day out from about 11 am to about 3 pm) (where’s USMCA, infrastructure, lower drug pricing & much more?) Speaker of the House, Nervous Nancy Pelosi (good one huh?), who is petrified by her Radical Left (commie bastards) knowing she will soon be gone (they & Fake News Media are her BOSS) (I have no idea what I mean by that), suggested on Sunday’s DEFACE THE NATION (I made that up on the spot – I can hardly stop laughing) that I testify about the phony Impeachment Witch Hunt (why is it never a Warlock hunt?). She also said I could do it in writing (as if I could actually write). Even though I did nothing wrong (and when I say that it’s the sure clue that I am up to my neck in crooked shit), and don’t like giving credibility (something I know nothing about) to this No Due Process Hoax (see how I change cleverly from Witch Hunt to Hoax – keeps ’em off guard – is it a Witch Hunt or a Hoax), I like the idea & will, in order to get Congress focused again (you know on punishing the poor and enriching guys like me), strongly consider it! (here is where my attorneys shit a cow before realizing that I am lying about testifying one more time – that will happen right after I voluntarily release my tax returns).

What have we learned?

The events of the past two to three months have left Red more or less speechless as the utter corruption of the reality TV show joke of a presidency that is the Trump White House is laid bare.  Red is not surprised – just speechless at how anyone could think this is acceptable behavior from a U.S. President and that this should continue a minute longer.  Now, however, Red is ready to step back and reflect upon what we have learned from what is now 3 years of the reign of President-Elect and President Trump.  Red thinks – not much.

It was always clear that Trump was a low-class grifter and pathological liar with a moral compass that perpetually points towards his bottom line.  It was always clear that if it ever came down to a choice between what is best for the country or what is best for Trump – that he would choose the latter without a moment’s reflection or regret.  It was always clear that he was a cruel bully who talked a good game but folded in the face of real opposition.  It was always clear that he was a profane, preening, philandering prick of a man.  It was always clear that he was an intense physical coward who could never conceive of anything beyond his own safety.  It was always clear that his overweening ambition was his only guiding principle to be pursued at the expense of whomever or whatever stood in the way of his cocoon of selfishness.  It was always clear that anything that interfered with his glorious and grandiose self-image must be attacked and utterly destroyed if at all possible.  It was always clear that he displayed every disgusting and dishonest attribute of the quintessential real estate con man.  It was always clear that when he was speaking he was lying.  It was always clear that his persona was that of a thin-skinned and petulant child.  It was always clear that someone with his level of amorality must have nothing but utter contempt for the “common man” who tries to do things honestly and correctly.  It was always clear that his braggadocio concealed a deep inner insecurity that eats at his very soul.  It was always clear that the only God he worships is that of money and the appearance of success.  It was always clear that he was a disloyal friend, colleague and employer who would cast anyone aside at anytime in order to save himself.  It was always clear that he held our institutions, customs and common bonds of citizenship in the lowest possible regard and that he would exploit any and all differences to drive a wedge in the body politic in order to advance his own agenda of self-aggrandizement.  It was always clear (from most of the above) that  he suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder of the most extreme form.  It was always clear that he was not stupid but willfully ignorant and unwilling to learn.  It was always clear that he would use the legal system to buy and bully his way out of trouble.  It was always clear that he cheats at golf.  It was always clear that he was a complete failure at most of his business ventures (Trump Air, Wine, Magazine, Steaks, University, Casinos, the New Jersey Generals, etc.) outside of some limited competency in real estate and that his only true success had been as a TV personality and in promoting his name as a brand.  It was always clear that he was absurdly unqualified and unsuited for the highest office in the land.

Perhaps what was less clear was that he would be completely subservient to foreign dictators and strong men. Perhaps what was also less clear was that almost every aspect of his foreign policy would be for the benefit of one of our great enemies – Russia – such that the only reasonable inference could be he was either a deep Putin plant or that he was terrified of something that might be revealed by Putin.  Perhaps what was also less clear is that he would betray and offend so many of our allies for no apparent reason (but see above re: Putin).  Perhaps what was also less clear was that his background story of being a near-completely self made man was a tale told by a fantasist. Perhaps it was less Clear that he had engaged in massive tax and bank fraud that would have landed anyone else in jail. Perhaps what was also less clear was the gullibility of so many Americans in sticking with this proven con man in the face of such complete betrayal of his oath of office.  Perhaps what was also less clear was the damage that electing such a man could do to the Republic.

At this point, Red is fairly much convinced that the U.S. as we have known it may not survive 8 years of Trump – 4 years will have done enough damage.  Red is also fairly convinced that is where the country is heading.  God help us all.

Donald Trump Reads Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution

Since most of you out there (much like Trump) won’t take the time to actually read Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution, Red will give you the Article as Trump would read it – as if he could be bothered with such triviality.

The executive Power (totally unlimited despite what follows) shall be vested in a President of the United States of America (that’s me). He shall hold his Office (it’s all mine) during the Term of four Years  (or more if I feel like it), and, together with the Vice President (usually a bozo like Sleepy Joe), chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector (this stuff is only important because it’s the only way I could get elected). 

* * *

The Congress may determine the Time of chusing (good spelling) the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

No Person except a natural born Citizen (hear that Lying Ted?), or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years (unless really hot like Ivanka!), and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States (or one of Jeffrey Epstein’s houses).

In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office (never gonna happen so forget this shit), the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.

The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation (a pittance), which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them (is that like an unguent?).

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—”I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States (as long as it doesn’t get in my way).”

Section. 2.

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States (because, you know, I am really good at war), and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion (as if I needed that – or would read it), in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate (pack of weasels), to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies (I’ve filled a few vacancies in my life – if you know what I mean) that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section. 3.

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union (totally great from the minute I took office – a complete shithole before that), and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers (please bring presents); he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed (if I feel like it), and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section. 4.

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors (pay no attention to this part).

Section 5

And most importantly, he can do whatever he wants to. 

“Crazy Train” aka the Trump Reality TV Show Joke of a Presidency

Ozzy Osburne (through wife Sharon) has demanded that Trump immediately stop using his classic 1980 hit “Crazy Train.”  Trump (or the usual sycophants) had played the song over a clip of the Democratic Debate.   Now if Trump wanted to use the song for his own campaign or to characterize his presidency, Red thinks Ozzy could hardly object.

The song lyrics (complete with Red commentary):

Crazy, but that’s how it goes (crazy like a fox – like an old orange demented fox)
Millions of people living as foes (except the Russians of course)
Maybe it’s not too late (9:00 am tee time)
To learn how to love and forget how to hate (but what would the GOP be without hate? A bunch of old white guys mumbling in their coffee?)

Mental wounds not healing (enough said)
Life’s a bitter shame (unless Daddy gives you $400 million)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train

I’ve listened to preachers, I’ve listened to fools (hard to tell the difference among the evangelicals)
I’ve watched all the dropouts who make their own rules (would have dropped out but again Daddy)
One person conditioned to rule and control (that’s me suckers)
The media sells it and you live the role (God bless Roger Ailes) 

Mental wounds still screaming (you try marriage to Ivana)
Driving me insane (it was a short ride)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train

I know that things are going wrong for me (lying, f#(king pollsters)
You gotta listen to my words (off script of course)
Yeah

Heirs of a cold war, that’s what we’ve become (again I love the Russians)
Inheriting troubles, I’m mentally numb (inheriting oodles more like it – mentally ???)
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I’m living with something that just isn’t fair (fake news, Mueller, Biden, AOC, immigrants, the list goes on . . .)

Mental wounds stop healing (what?  I was contemplating this birdie putt) 
Who and what’s to blame (see above)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train (our country’s going off the rails with a crazy con man)

Trumph (the Insult Comic President) Speaks – Red Translates

They were fake polls (you know the ones I previously claimed did not exist – well they actually exist but since they don’t look very good they must be fake under the irrefutable formula:  Makes me look bad = Fake!!) that were released by somebody (my treasonous paid pollsters apparently) that is — it’s ridiculous.  They’re giving out phony polls (phony, fake, whatever – I would consult a thesaurus if I knew what that was).  These are polls (that we have (yeah, the ones that previously did not exist), that nobody saw (like my tax returns). We do very little polling (just a daily poll or two – three on the weekends) because I’m not a huge believer in polling (except that Rasmussen fellow who is almost always wrong)… But we have some internal polling (bigly strong within the family)— very little — and it’s unbelievably strong (mostly because it’s unbelievable). The strongest I’ve ever been is exactly today (because you know – once a con man, always a con man).

Trump is a Golf Cheat

Sportswriter Rick Reilly’s new book Commander in Cheat – How Golf Explains Trump details Individual 1’s cheating ways on the green field of honor.  As a longtime golfer, Red understands that golf is a gentleman’s game where the players largely call penalties on themselves and follow the rules because it is the right thing to do.  Red has played with some cheats over the years.  One playing companion (for a short while) could only be described as “The Master of the Leather Wedge.”  And is one thing to cheat yourself so that you can feel better about a friendly Saturday afternoon round by taking a mulligan or two, but it is entirely another to cheat when you are in an actual tournament or there is money on the line.  Apparently, Individual 1 cheats in both of those situations and any golfer worth his salt knows that such behavior tells you everything you need to know about the man.  Trump claims some absurd number of bogus club championships and claims a 2.8 handicap.  Pro golfers in there 70s don’t have 2.8 handicaps.  By all accounts Trump is an above average golfer, but that’s not good enough for someone with an extreme narcissistic personality disorder for whom every waking moment is an exercise in personal glorification and continued building of the worst personality cult that our country has ever seen.  And it’s not like there wasn’t enough information out there to inform the public that Trump’s entire life story presented to the public in his 2016 campaign is just one giant lie after another.  But this is golf!  This is a line in the sand!  If you are a golfer and still support this lying, cheating pathetic excuse for a human being, then you have no honor.  And Red is done with you.