Category Archives: President Trump

Praises Left Unsung at Trump’s First Cabinet Meeting

At the first full-fledged Cabinet Meeting of the Trump presidency, the various secretaries, czars and other sycophants took turns praising the exalted leader in hagiographic style.  For a full analysis of the stomach-turning cabinet session cum personality cult worship service, take a look at the CNN coverage.  Meanwhile, Red has done some additional digging and discovered a few of the deserving praises that didn’t make the cut.   But stay tuned!

Mr. President, it is an honor to serve the undoubtedly greatest man to ever hold this office.  Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt –  Pah!  To quote Jeff Spicoli, “Those guys were fags.”  Not one of them is worthy of licking the shit off your shoes – which are clearly the finest most elegant shoes that any President has ever worn on such perfectly proportioned and beautiful feet.  And as long as we are on extremities, I will note that the Presidential hands are perfectly normal- sized, fabulously manicured, graceful and exquisitely used to outmaneuver any other world leader in the old handshake department.  The visceral grip exerted by those extraordinary hands brings even powerful men to their knees who immediately acquiesce to the brilliance of your strategic thinking.  And these Adonis-like hands are perfectly complimented by the more than respectable bulge which emanates from finely tailored zipper region of the Presidential trousers –  which are made of the finest wool selected by expert tailors who were rightfully stiffed by you when asked for payment.  Those ingrate haberdashers should have been thankful for the opportunity to give their finest garments to one so divinely proportioned to display them for the world to see and admire.  Given the powerful presence of your manhood, it is no wonder that your children are such paragons of perfection.  The Donald Jr. and Eric –  who have so tirelessly worked to eliminate carbon-emitting large game animals who were destroying the planet and who have glorified your genius by their dutiful incompetence in business and charity.  Not to mention the lovely and elegant Ivanka.  And I think I speak for everyone present including Elaine Chao, Betsy DeVos and you most worshipful leader – when I say what a privilege and honor it would be to shtup her.  Not that any of us are worthy – except you – oh glorious and possibly incestual master of your domain.  And Tiffany – well oh great one, even your mistakes are magnificent.  But let us move on from such outward appearances.  The words, the words –  the words of the master.  Never a false statement, untruth or teensy white lie has ever emanated from the glorious lips of our revered commander. The truth and Donald Trump are one and indivisible.  Years from now, your sayings and wisdom will adorn the front, sides and back of our grandest public buildings.  Entire departments of our finest institutes of higher education will be devoted to Trump Studies and only the top students from around the globe (Muslim countries excepted of course) will be admitted to bask in the glow of your eternal brilliance.  Academicians holding endowed chairs (funded by admirable authoritarians) will insure that the flag of Trump will never be lowered or surrendered.  This will lead to a world-wide acceptance of the new religion of Trumpism.  And as in the days of Ancient Rome, Congress will inevitably realize that you – like Augustus Caesar – must be deified.   Magnificent temples will be built and sacrifices (primarily Democrats and illegal aliens) will be made to honor and appease you.  A thousand year reign of peace and prosperity (for the worthy 1% anyway) will come to pass in the wake of your glorious administration.  Which, by the way, shall continue well past 8 years when you are repeatedly re-elected by popular acclaim dispensing with the tired and antiquated notions of democracy which could only impede the glorious age –  the dawn of which we are privileged to witness.  And when the end times come and Jesus returns, you shall shove him aside like a Latvian president and personally preside over the final glory that must inevitably result from the divine plan which has made you our eternal leader.

Oh, and I almost forgot golf and the sweet swing and perfection surrounding your game.  Vardon, Jones, Hagen, Sarazen, Hogan,  Nelson,  Snead, Palmer, Player, Nicklaus, Trevino. Watson, Mickelson and Woods wish they had such a swing. It is such a privilege to watch the finest golfer to ever hold this office in action.  The professionals of the PGA are just damn lucky that you chose business and politics over what clearly would have been the greatest career in the history of golf.

How Low Can He Go (cont.)?

According to the latest Fox News poll, Donald Trump is still sinking.  Yes, even Fox Freaking News has Trump seriously underwater for a president this early in a first term.

Do you approve or disapprove of the job Donald Trump is doing as president? [IF APPROVE / DISAPPROVE: Is that strongly (approve/disapprove), or only somewhat?]

             Approve Disapprove (Don’t know)
May 17     40%         53                       7
Apr 17      45%         48                       7
Mar 17     43%         51                       6
Feb 17      48%         47                      6   
 These numbers are bad enough, but the news gets worse for the golden-haired would-be strongman. The Fox News Poll has only 28% strongly approving of Trump with 46% strongly disapproving of the Donald’s performance as America’s first reality TV show president.  Which means that those who disapprove of Trump – continue to really disapprove, while at the same time his die-hard sycophants are steadily dwindling in number. 

How Low Can he Go (cont.)?

Even notoriously right-wing biased pollster  Rasmussen now has Trump under water by double digits.

The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Thursday shows that 44% of Likely U.S. Voters approve of President Trump’s job performance. Fifty-five percent (55%) disapprove.

The latest figures include 27% who Strongly Approve of the way Trump is performing and 47% who Strongly Disapprove. This gives him a Presidential Approval Index rating of -20.

Red is standing by his prediction that Trump will not drop below about 35% approval.  It appears now, however, that there may not be a strong floor for his “strongly approve” number.  That could easily dip into the teens at which point almost no one in Washington will be paying attention to him – except to tune in for regular updates in the “high comedy” act which this administration has become.


How Low Can He Go (cont.)?

Donald Trump continues to violate the first rule of holes – stop digging!  The latest Quinnipiac University Poll has Trump at a near record low 36% approval rating with 58% of the sample disapproving of the neophyte President.  That news would be bad enough to cause most rational folks to look for the nearest life preserver.  Not Trump, who seems to be in complete denial that a sizeable majority of the country pretty much hates him.

Instead, Trump is reported to be addicted to watching cable news where he is getting his head bashed in everywhere except at Fox News – which seems determined to either  go down with ship (guns blazing) or hopefully be the hero if Trump somehow manages to turn this around (neener-neener).  Red has a pretty thick skin, but a steady diet of really smart people talking all day about what a scuzbag he is probably would wear pretty thin within a couple of weeks.  Trump is looking at another 3.75 years of that.

And unfortunately for the Donald, the unfavorable rating is only the tip of the iceberg of loathing and distrust that America has for him.

61 – 33 percent that he is not honest (who are these 33%?);

56 – 41 percent that he does not have good leadership skills (oh, come on!);

59 – 38 percent that he does not care about average Americans (it would help if he actually knew any);

66 – 29 percent that he is not level-headed (again, it’s the hair to blame);

62 – 35 percent that he is a strong person (can lift twice his weight in Pro-V1’s when the Viagra kicks in);

56 – 41 percent that he is intelligent (crazy like Fox News);

64 – 32 percent that he does not share their values (honesty, loyalty and integrity are so overrated).

Most shockingly, Trump has done what Red thought was impossible.  By a margin of 57-31 percent, Americans trust the media more than Trump to tell the truth about the issues.  Yes, Trump has made the media popular again.  Who says the first 100+ days have been a complete failure?




How Low Can He Go (cont.)?

President Trump (words that Red still chokes on) has a stagnant overall approval rating at around 40%  even after attempting to bomb his way to better numbers.

More troublesome for the golden-haired dear leader are some other numbers about how the public feels about his specific attributes.  A Gallup Poll  released this week found that a pitiful 45% of Americans say Trump “keeps his promises” despite clear evidence to the contrary.   This is down from 62% who believed that nonsense in early February. Gallup also found that only 46% of Americans now believe that Trump “can bring about changes this country needs.”  53% thought that in February.  These numbers indicate that a good number of his supporters are starting to realize they have been sold a bill of goods by the greatest con man of our times – perhaps of all time.  As it becomes more and more clear that Trump has no core beliefs and is swayed by the idea of the moment, Americans may be beginning to catch on to Trump charade.

How Low Can He Go (cont.)?

There’s nothing like bombing the shit out of something to bump up your approval ratings.  As shown below, Donald Trump is familiar with the concept.  And it almost always works – even the historically unpopular Trump got a small boost from the pre-disclosed (to the Russians of course) cruise missile strike on a Syrian airbase.  Fivethirtyeight has Trump’s composite approval/disapproval ratings now at 41.5% approval against 52.5% disapproval – still a negative 11 point spread.  The numbers may be somewhat skewed by the outlier Ipsos poll which has Trump with a favorable 2 point spread.

Now that Obama’s poll numbers are in tailspin – watch for him to launch a strike in Libya or Iran. He is desperate.

How Low Can He Go (cont.)?

The latest Quinnipiac University Poll has Donald Trump at a 35% approval rating -with 57% of Americans disapproving of the neophyte president. The negative 22 point spread is unprecedented for a president less than 3 months into his first term.  Trump only seems to be holding on to the hardcore GOP base with 79% of Republicans still approving of his job performance.  Overall, he is underwater with men, women, whites, non-whites, Democrats, Independents and people with brains.  Other than Republicans he still has support from Russians, alien smugglers, polluters, Israeli settlers, late night comedians desperate for material, golf course designers, the criminally insane and anyone predicting that the end times are near.

Even more troubling for Trump are poll numbers showing that –

64% think he is not honest (Red can’t imagine where they get that idea)

66% think he is not level-headed (Well how could he be with that hair?)

55% think he is not a strong leader (Can’t even get wife to live in the freaking White House)

57% think he does not care about ordinary Americans (It’s difficult to really care about ordinary Americans when you have never actually met one)

It is really hard to make a comeback when 2/3rds of Americans think you are a liar and there is objective proof to back that up.