Thank you, Rex Tillerson for your service as Secretary of State. You did a tremendous job gutting the State Department and spinning your diplomatic wheels in the mud – but you see here at the White House Game we demand fantastic.  Anything less and before you know it – that beautiful White House door is hitting you in the ass.   That’s the way it works here.  But we do have some lovely parting gifts for you.  Tell him Johnny!

A case of Elmer’s Glue – to piece the shreds of your reputation back together.

A signed copy of Vladimir Putin’s autobiography – read it, learn it, live it.

Dinner for two at the McDonalds of your choice – Big Macs only.

Souvenir fissionable material  – courtesy of Kim Jung Un.

A vial of authentic Russian poison – use it as you see fit.

And a one-way ticket back to Losersville.