Thank you, Rex Tillerson for your service as Secretary of State. You did a tremendous job gutting the State Department and spinning your diplomatic wheels in the mud – but you see here at the White House Game we demand fantastic. Anything less and before you know it – that beautiful White House door is hitting you in the ass. That’s the way it works here. But we do have some lovely parting gifts for you. Tell him Johnny!
A case of Elmer’s Glue – to piece the shreds of your reputation back together.
A signed copy of Vladimir Putin’s autobiography – read it, learn it, live it.
Dinner for two at the McDonalds of your choice – Big Macs only.
Souvenir fissionable material – courtesy of Kim Jung Un.
A vial of authentic Russian poison – use it as you see fit.
And a one-way ticket back to Losersville.