Tag Archives: Rex Tillerson

The Reality TV Show Presidency

Thank you, Rex Tillerson for your service as Secretary of State. You did a tremendous job gutting the State Department and spinning your diplomatic wheels in the mud – but you see here at the White House Game we demand fantastic.  Anything less and before you know it – that beautiful White House door is hitting you in the ass.   That’s the way it works here.  But we do have some lovely parting gifts for you.  Tell him Johnny!

A case of Elmer’s Glue – to piece the shreds of your reputation back together.

A signed copy of Vladimir Putin’s autobiography – read it, learn it, live it.

Dinner for two at the McDonalds of your choice – Big Macs only.

Souvenir fissionable material  – courtesy of Kim Jung Un.

A vial of authentic Russian poison – use it as you see fit.

And a one-way ticket back to Losersville.







Jared Kushner – Smartest Man in the World

What were the odds?  Isn’t it amazing that Jared Kusher,  the son-in-law of Donald Trump, just happens to be the smartest man in the entire world.   How lucky can you get?  Kushner is so damn smart that he is in charge of U.S. policy for Mexico, Canada, China, trade, the Mid-East and now Iraq.  After all, his father-in-law told him,  “If you can’t produce peace in the Middle East, nobody can.”  So the 30-something wealthy scion who has no political or diplomatic experience and who has never done anything but work for his father or his father-in-law – is the one – the wunderkind who can finally  do what total lightweights like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Condaleeza Rice, Colin Powell,  Warren Christopher, James Baker III, George Schultz, Alexander Haig,  Edmund Muskie, Cyrus Vance, Henry Kissinger, William Rogers, Dean Rusk, Christian Herter,  John Foster Dulles and George Freaking Marshall were unable to accomplish.  What a godsend!

Oh, and in his spare time, Kushner gets to totally reinvent our entire government by bringing the best that the American business model (e.g. be born wealthy and marry up) has to offer.  I am sure that Red speaks for a grateful nation in thanking Ivanka Trump for having the wisdom to marry this absolute genius and savior of humanity.

Meanwhile, at Foggy Bottom,  Rex Tillerson is busy updating his Facebook page, doing the NY Times crossword, and wondering why he isn’t at the ranch enjoying time with his grandchildren.