Robert Jeffress says to almost everyone, “You’re going to Hell! Red says to Robert Jeffress, “If the likes of you are going to be in Heaven, Red will gladly go to Hell!”

Baptist Super-Preacher and Tea Party Icon Robert Jeffress of the First Baptist Church in Dallas was chosen by Trump to speak at the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem. Red sees this as a fitting choice because Jeffress has a mainline with God who apparently has let RJ in on the big secret of who is and isn’t heading to burn for all of eternity in the lake of fire.

According to Saint Jeffress, any non-Christian has one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the River Styx:

“God sends good people to Hell. Not only do religions like Mormonism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism — not only do they lead people away from God, they lead people to an eternity of separation from God in Hell.”

But it does not stop with non-Christians.  All you supposedly God-fearing Papists better watch out as well. According to his Holiness the Divine Jeffress, Catholics are also on a greased skid headed for Satan’s realm.

“Today the Roman Catholic Church is the result of that corruption. Much of what you see in the Catholic Church today doesn’t come from God’s word. It comes from this cultlike pagan religion. You say, ‘Well now pastor how can you say such a thing? That is such an indictment of the Catholic Church.’ After all, the Catholic Church talks about God and the Bible and Jesus and the blood of Christ and salvation. Isn’t that the genius of Satan?

If you want to counterfeit a dollar bill, you don’t do it with purple paper and red ink, you’re not going to fool anybody with that. But if you want to counterfeit money, what you do is make it look closely related to the real thing as possible.

And that’s what Satan does with counterfeit religion. He uses, he steals, he appropriates all of the symbols of true biblical Christianity, and he changes it just enough in order to cause people to miss eternal life.”

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Christians who support Clinton.  If the Eternal Arbiter Jeffress is right, they might as well give in and start worshipping Satan now – it might get them a better deal in the outer circles of Hell because there is a special place reserved for those Democrats.

“The other choice was Hillary Clinton, and although my friend Juan describes her as kind of St. Hillary of Chappaqua, she’s hardly a bastion of virtue herself. If I am going to hell, Juan — like you say I am for supporting Donald Trump — then that means you’re going to be a hundred floors below me for supporting Hillary Clinton.”

And so, RJ is of course the perfect choice to say some prayers for our good Jewish friends (who still are headed for the jaws of Satan in the RJ version of events) when the U.S. opens its new provocative embassy in Jerusalem today.  He’s just the kind of preacher that Trump likes, a bombastic bullying sack of horseshit cloaked in false religiosity who worship the true Trumpian god of Money.

Red for one can’t wait to meet up with all the “good people” in Hell.  Especially if the likes of Jeffress are populating the streets of Heaven.

 

 

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