As has been stated by numerous legal scholars (that would be Sekulow and Guiliani), I have the absolute right (really the duty to save this Country and placate all my supporters) to PARDON myself (After all, l’etat c’est moi, n’est pas – Melania taught me that one), but why would I do that (why do I do anything?) when I have done nothing wrong (which raises the question – why would I even mention that I can pardon myself if I have done nothing wrong. Answer: to drive MSNBC and CNN crazy)? In the meantime, the never ending Witch Hunt (and again – lots of damn witches), led by 13 very Angry and Conflicted Democrats (& others) (Commies to the last man) continues into the mid-terms (my last chance at avoiding disaster)!
Today on Fox & Friends, Trumph the Insult Comic President was in rare form.
“Well I can [testify with Mueller]. The problem is, that it’s such a, if you take a look, they’re so conflicted [what with trying to actually follow the law instead of kowtowing to my incredible greatness], the people [pond scum] who doing the investigation – you have 13 people who are Democrats [being led by a traitorous Republican of course], you have people who worked on Hillary Clinton’s foundation [including Hillary Clinton – can you believe that Mueller has hired that bitch], they’re all, I don’t mean Democrats [ISIS followers], they’re like, the real deal [did that make any sense – yeah, I thought not]. . . . By the way, you take a poll at the FBI, I love the FBI [that’s why I call them corrupt all the time], the FBI loves me [I have the photos to prove it], but the top people at the FBI, headed by Comey [commie bastard who handed me the election on a silver platter] were crooked [I should know about crooked]. You look at the corruption at the top of the FBI [investigating me for example], it’s a disgrace [and again I should know]. And our Justice Department [aren’t they really my law firm now?] – which I try and stay away from [meaning I work the refs pretty darn hard], but at some point I won’t [shortly before they haul me away in cuffs and leg irons] – our Justice Department should be looking at that kind of stuff [real crimes like being a Democrat and claiming I lost the popular vote], not the nonsense of collusion with Russia [Hear that Vlad – I got your back baby]. There is no collusion with me [other than porn stars of course] and everyone knows it [everyone who only watches Fox News that is].
The failing New York Times (pay no attention to their subscription rates) and a third rate reporter named Maggie Haterman (get it- I messed with her name?), known as a Crooked H flunkie (funny huh – it’s now Crooked H- get it?) who I don’t speak to and have nothing to do with (I stick to porn stars if you know what I mean), are going out of their way to destroy Michael Cohen and his relationship with me (groveling bootlick) in the hope that he will “flip.” They use non-existent “sources” (like these clowns working for me in the WH and all of my so-called friends) and a drunk/drugged up loser who hates Michael (which is just about anyone who has ever met the guy), a fine person (who has taken many bullets for me) with a wonderful family (can’t wait to date his daughter in a few years). Michael is a businessman (a New York Jewish businessman with a Ukranian wife for god’s sake) for his own account/lawyer who I have always liked & respected (even while I made fun of him while making him eat shit). Most people will flip (and somehow all of the sudden tell the truth damn it) if the Government lets them out of trouble (and we’ve got trouble – right here on Pennsylvania Ave – trouble, trouble), even if it means lying or making up stories (which he won’t have to). Sorry, I don’t see Michael doing that (again because he won’t have to make up anything) despite the horrible Witch Hunt and the dishonest media (except those morons on Fox & Friends of course)!