Category Archives: Trumph – The Insult Comic President

Trumph Speaks – Red Translates

Trumph – the Insult Comic President™ was in rare form the other night in North Dakota and the NoDaks in attendance were served up mostly a lot of talk about crowd size.

Let’s Start with Crowd Size Remarks:

I wish we could have had this stage back about 100 yards (then I wouldn’t have to be so close to so many smelly farmers). You’d see how many people. This place is packed (and smelly).  Always, always, always talk about how this crowd is big and it could have been bigger (because bigness is bigly big-time important). This place is packed. The only thing more packed is outside, trying to get in. (take my word for it – people are being crushed to death trying to get in – but they are dying happy.) You know, we had the chance for a 24,000-seat arena (somewhere in Canada I think). And we should have taken it. (can I get a B, can I get an I, can I get a – um – never mind).

If crooked Hillary (never giving that one up because I know some crooked) would have won this election, and if she came here, which is about a 0% chance (you know, smelly), after the election she’d have 200 people in a conference room in a small hotel (owned by me). And I wish those cameras (but of course they are controlled by the scum-sucking enemies of “the people” – meaning me) would circle the room to see how many thousands of people are here (again bigly important), because, you know, on the screen I look — and all you see are those few beautiful, wonderful people (a few of whom don’t smell) — I don’t know who the hell I — but you’ve got a nice group over there (what am I even talking about – sometimes I don’t know). I know you have Mike and some others. They’re going to be so famous (and that folks is what it is all about). They never take those cameras off my face (it is the most handsome face in the world after all). Look at all the women (I once had a farm girl thing before my super-model phase). 

And then Move on to His Brilliance:

Oh, I am so smart (so smart that I have to repeatedly tell you how smart I am). I am the smartest person (Euclid, Aristotle, Descartes, Newton, Rousseau, Jefferson, Einstein, Churchill, etc. – not fit to lick the shit off my shoes).  My uncle was a great professor at MIT for 40 years. Can you believe? Forty years. I said, ‘But I’m smarter than him (I mean how much did he get paid). I’m smarter than anybody.’ (My IQ is like 2500).

And hurl a few insults – because after all that is what he does best:

I meet these people (okay they smell better than you).  They call them the elite. These people. I look at them. I say, ‘That’s elite?’ (let me tell you – elite is having a naked super model in your bed). We got more money (the only thing that matters). We got more brains (see above – and now I’m thinking my IQ may actually be north of 3000). We got better houses (money), apartments (money). We got nicer boats (money). We’re smarter than they are (okay at least 3500). And they say, ‘The elite.” We are the super elite (we meaning me – most of you are pathetic losers – but what’s a conman without a ready supply of pathetic losers?).

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Trumph – The Insult Comic President [TM] Tweets – Red Translates

As has been stated by numerous legal scholars (that would be Sekulow and Guiliani), I have the absolute right (really the duty to save this Country and placate all my supporters) to PARDON myself (After all, l’etat c’est moi, n’est pas – Melania taught me that one), but why would I do that (why do I do anything?) when I have done nothing wrong (which raises the question – why would I even mention that I can pardon myself if I have done nothing wrong.  Answer: to drive MSNBC and CNN crazy)? In the meantime, the never ending Witch Hunt (and again – lots of damn witches), led by 13 very Angry and Conflicted Democrats (& others) (Commies to the last man) continues into the mid-terms (my last chance at avoiding disaster)!

Trumph – The Insult Comic President (™)

Today on Fox & Friends, Trumph the Insult Comic President was in rare form.

“Well I can [testify with Mueller].  The problem is, that it’s such a, if you take a look, they’re so conflicted [what with trying to actually follow the law instead of kowtowing to my incredible greatness], the people [pond scum] who doing the investigation – you have 13 people who are Democrats [being led by a traitorous Republican of course], you have people who worked on Hillary Clinton’s foundation [including Hillary Clinton – can you believe that Mueller has hired that bitch], they’re all, I don’t mean Democrats [ISIS followers], they’re like, the real deal [did that make any sense – yeah, I thought not].  . . . By the way, you take a poll at the FBI, I love the FBI [that’s why I call them corrupt all the time], the FBI loves me [I have the photos to prove it], but the top people at the FBI, headed by Comey [commie bastard who handed me the election on a silver platter] were crooked [I should know about crooked].  You look at the corruption at the top of the FBI [investigating me for example], it’s a disgrace [and again I should know].  And our Justice Department [aren’t they really my law firm now?] – which I try and stay away from [meaning I work the refs pretty darn hard], but at some point I won’t [shortly before they haul me away in cuffs and leg irons] – our Justice Department should be looking at that kind of stuff [real crimes like being a Democrat and claiming I lost the popular vote], not the nonsense of collusion with Russia [Hear that Vlad – I got your back baby].  There is no collusion with me [other than porn stars of course] and everyone knows it [everyone who only watches Fox News that is].

Trumph – The Insult Comic President (™)

The failing New York Times (pay no attention to their subscription rates) and a third rate reporter named Maggie Haterman (get it- I messed with her name?), known as a Crooked H flunkie (funny huh – it’s now Crooked H- get it?) who I don’t speak to and have nothing to do with (I stick to porn stars if you know what I mean), are going out of their way to destroy Michael Cohen and his relationship with me (groveling bootlick) in the hope that he will “flip.” They use non-existent “sources” (like these clowns  working for me in the WH  and all of my so-called friends) and a drunk/drugged up loser who hates Michael (which is just about anyone who has ever met the guy), a fine person (who has taken many bullets for me) with a wonderful family (can’t wait to date his daughter in a few years). Michael is a businessman (a New York Jewish businessman with a Ukranian wife for god’s sake) for his own account/lawyer who I have always liked & respected (even while I made fun of him while making him eat shit). Most people will flip (and somehow all of the sudden tell the truth damn it) if the Government lets them out of trouble (and we’ve got trouble – right here on Pennsylvania Ave – trouble, trouble), even if it means lying or making up stories (which he won’t have to). Sorry, I don’t see Michael doing that (again because he won’t have to make up anything) despite the horrible Witch Hunt and the dishonest media (except those morons on Fox & Friends of course)!