After an extended trip to our friendly neighbors across the North Atlantic (where is discovered something called the European League of American Football or something to that effect (Red’s new favorite team is the Berlin Thunder just because Berlin teams suck so badly in the Bundesleague) Red is ready to get back in the game.

1. Minnesota Vikings – The typical Vikings game is get big lead, blow it, get lead back, blow it, win on last drive. Can this keep up?
2. Philadelphia Eagles – Red pledged to rank them No. 1 until defeated. But defeated by the Commanders – by double digits? That’s like a double loss.
3. Kansas City Chiefs – They just keep finding ways to win with different players every week.
4. Miami Dolphins – Sights are now set on the AFC Championship. But see KC Chiefs.
5. New York Giants – Daniel Jones doubters are having second thoughts.
6. Baltimore Ravens – Lamar Jackson seems unstoppable at times.
7. Buffalo Bills – Josh Allen cannot continue to be a turnover machine as he was in loss to Vikings.
8. Tennessee Titans – Even a slightly pathetic passing attack is enough to win as long as Derrick Henry is on the field.
9. San Francisco 49ers – Screw the Garrapolo haters. He is the best thing to happen to the Niners in quite a while.
10. New York Jets – You can’t lose much ground if you don’t play.
11. New York Giants – You play the Texans. You beat the Texans, or else Red punishes you.
12. Dallas Cowboys – Crushing loss to the reeling Packers could spell the end for Dak P.
13. Cincinnati Bengals – A good time for a bye week. Next up – crushing the Stealers.
14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tom Brady is wondering if they can play all their games in Bavaria.
15. Seattle Seahawks – Who isn’t happy for Geno Smith? Maybe Broncos fans?
16. New England Patriots – Slowly creeping back towards relevancy. The last wildcard spot may be within reach at this rate.
17. Washington Commanders – Who had the Commanders beating the Eagles? Anyone, anyone, Bueller, anyone?
18. Los Angeles Chargers – Should be better. Aren’t.
19. Arizona Cardinals – Amazingly, not out of it yet after another crappy start to the season. Tired old Colt McCoy not looking either tired or old saves the bacon.
20. Chicago Bears – Topping this week’s list of teams Red wishes would just go away.
21. Detroit Lions – Could a win over the Bears turn this season around for the Lions. Red is going all in on the Lions finishing at 9-8.
22. New Orleans Saints – Who dat? Who cares?
23. Atlanta Falcons – Unfortunately, Marcus Mariota is now sucking.
24. Cleveland Browns – Just let D. Watson sit another season. This one is slipping away.
25. Pittsburgh Stealers – They can beat worse teams. Unfortunately there are a whole lot of them left.
26. Indianapolis Colts – The Reich Reich ends as all riechs must. Long live Jeff Saturday. NFL GM’s now scouring the ranks of high school football coaches.
27. Jacksonville Jaguars – Somehow the Jags have won 3 games. Please explain to Red.
28. Carolina Panthers – They should be ranked lower, but how low can you go?
29. Los Angeles Rams – Red enjoyed typing this.
30. Las Vegas Raiders – Red predicts a Las Vegas team will never win anything. The A’s beware.
31. Denver Broncos – Eeeeew!
32. Houston Texans – The Texans lick the sweat off a dead man’s balls.