AFC East

Red’s best hope for a blizzard game still lies in Buffalo, New England or New Jersey.  Red will not be watching games in Miami.  Three top level quarterbacks make this one of the more interesting divisions.  

Buffalo – The Bills are still the class of the East.  Everyone keeps saying the window is closing and it probably is a least a little janky at this point, but the Bills still have the tools to compete at a very high level.  Last season it came down to a week 18 matchup with the Dolphins for the division crown.  While the Bills had their ups and downs, when the playoff money was on the line, the Bills came through.  Red expects the same this season.  Once again, the Bills may be getting overlooked for the flashier new model in Miami (driver Tua) and the redesigned Jets (driver A-Rodg).  The Bills are built for the long haul.  Josh Allen is the toughest QB in the league (that’s saying a lot given guys like Lamar Jackson and Mahomes).  He just wills his team to win when it matters.  He has one of the best left tackles in Dion Dawkins and an offensive line that believes in him.   A solid defense and a top notch coaching staff led by Mc Dermott.  The Bills have lost a few key players (both safeties) and Von Miller may not be the player we all know and love (or hate as the case may be).  It’s a dog fight with a tough schedule but if the Bills can split with the Jets and Dolphins and go 3-2 in their tough games (Texans,  Chiefs, Niners, Lions and Ravens) a 12-5 record is possible.

Miami – They were smoking hot to start the season including a ridiculous 70-20 beat down of the hapless Broncos.   Then they were mediocre. And then the fire went out in the last two games – getting stomped by the Ravens and losing to the Bills .  Possessing one of the most dangerous weapons in the league in Tyreek Hill (apparently the Miami-Dade PD agree), the Fins are always one play away from the end zone.  OBJ adds some depth at wideout and there are two excellent backfield options in Achane and Mostert.  Red likes the Dolphins to make the playoffs at 11-6.

New York (Jets) –  Lots of talent, but they are the Jets after all.  Most pundits are going long on the Jets for reasons that Red simply cannot comprehend – for Christ sakes, these are the Jets. Meet the Jets, Greet the Jets, Step right up and beat the Jets.  Note: this song was written for the Mets, but Red’s fraternity brother Johnny “Ragarm” Serruto from somewhere in Jersey came into breakfast one bright September morning singing this tune and Red has never been able to forget it.  So much for ancient history.  Red doubts 40 year-old Aaron Rodgers makes it all the way.  Jets are lucky to be 9-8 and on the bubble.

New England – The Pats are on the rebound and its not a dead cat bounce. The post-Bellicheat era begins with Jared Mayo at the helm and something of a wholesale cleaning.  The problem for the Pats is that – by projected opponents’ wins – they face the second toughest schedule in the NFL in 2024.  A better team might overcome those odds, but the Pats are not a better team.  Someone has to live in the cellar.  Patriots are 5-12.

NFC West

Is the NFC West the most balanced division in the NFL?  Probably.  Over the past 10 seasons every team but the Cardinals has won multiple division titles (3 each for the Rams and Seahawks and the past 2 for the Niners).  But does that mean any team  can keep up with the 49ers this year? Spoiler Alert – No.  

San Francisco – Red did not leave his heart anywhere in California and certainly not wherever it is the Niners play these days.  Santa Something or Another?  Everyone wants to talk about Christian McCaffrey, but it is really the Niners bruising defense that Red thinks makes the difference.  Sure C-Mack is the best offensive player in the league not named Mahomes, but he gets a lot of help with a great O line (camp holdout Trent Williams is  OMG good – just watch him for a couple of series), an excellent TE in Kittle and the surprising Brock Purdy – clearly the best draft pick since Tom Brady.  Put it all together and the Niners are probably the most balanced team in the league.  It’s the Niners division to lose.  And they don’t  Niners are outstanding at 14-3.

Seattle –  Will Geno last the season? Or will Sam Howell replace him sooner or later?  The question for the Falconos Marinos (Reds favorite Spanish language translation of an NFL team mascot – followed not too closely by El Vaqueros de Dallas) is offensive firepower.  They were bottom quarter in points scored in 2023, will they improve on that?  Red believes – he doesn’t know why – but Red believes.  But he doesn’t believe the Hawks will make the playoffs.  9-8.

Los Angeles – And now pathetically Red has to clarify that he is talking about the well-traveled Rams.  You know, Red liked it when the second largest city in the USA did not have a pro football team – and now it has two.  He also like it when there were two Germanys but that is another story.  Two young players carried the Rams to a 10-7 season. Puka Nacua with almost 1500 receiving yards and Kyren Willaims with 1300 total yards and 15 – count ‘em 15 touchdowns.  Geez.  Nacua will be getting more attention this season but teams still have to worry about Cooper Kupp on the other side. Red has never been a huge Stafford fan and the dude is looking a bit long in the tooth (12 years in Detroit will do that to a man), but if he can stay upright he knows where to put the ball.  Defense is the big issue for the Rams and will keep them from serious contention for the NFC West Title.  Rams are a 9-8 team.  

Arizona –  Can Red just take a pass here?  5-12.

NFC  South

The best thing that Red can say about the NFC South is that all of the teams are actually in the South.   And as has been the case for several seasons, the NFC South crown (such as it is) is totally up for grabs yet again.  

Atlanta –  Hope springs eternal in Georgia.  Expect to see our presidential contenders at a Falcons home game.  Red doesn’t really believe in the Falcons – even with the signing of the redoubtable Kirk Cousins to helm the offence – but damn if he is going to pick the Bucs to win this division.  Cousins does have the benefit of one of the best offensive lines in the game and if he has time in the pocket he should do well.  Add to that a very talented set of RBs in Allgeier and Robinson (Red is predicting no sophomore slump here), and the Falcons should have enough offense to keep most of their games entertaining.  The schedule is front loaded with games against the Stealers, Eagles and Chiefs.  After that, they don’t face another playoff team outside of the division until the Cowboys in Week 9 at home, but they are done with the Bucs after week 8. Then comes a very easy closing stretch with 8 games against non-playoff teams from 2023.  Expect a strong finish with the Falcons going 11-6 and winning the South.

Tampa Bay -The Bucs pretty much won the division by default last season. In the regular season, the Bucs lost to every playoff team on the schedule except for an inexplicable win at Green Bay.  They did stomp on a depleted Eagles squad in the Wildcard round before getting smacked around by the Lions to exit the scene.  Baker Mayfield had his career season last year.  Any 4000 yard season is impressive.  Red is betting that doesn’t happen again.  And if BM gets sacked another 40 times in 2024, he will be carried off in a basket.  Yeah, Red knows he uses that cliché way too much.   On defense, the secondary is excellent but too many other gaps are there.  Because this division sucks, the Bucs have an outside shot at the playoffs.  9-8 again.

New Orleans  –  The Derek Carr experiment did not go as planned for most of  2023.  But what do you expect from a guy whose QBR has never exceeded 64.3 (according to pro-football-reference.com) and has pretty much been a human sack machine with 295 sacks in 10 seasons (it runs in the family).  Plus the Saints had very little money to spend in the offseason.  Carr does have a couple of talented receivers in Olave and Shaheed (which sounds like a good name for a line of high-end bath products).  Defensively the Saints are okay.  Red likes the addition of Kool-Aid McKinstry who is a walking trademark violation. It looks like another mediocre season for the Black and Gold and a long year for their incredibly faithful fan base.  If you haven’t been to New Orleans on a game day, treat yourself.  You won’t believe how many gold laḿe miniskirts there are in the world.  Saints go 8-9 if the breaks fall the right way. 

Carolina –  Yeah, they got Dave Canales who seems to be an offensive wunderkind after reviving Baker Mayfield’s career last season.  It would seem Bryce Young could only get better after a horrid rookie campaign.  And there is some talent.  Some aint good enough.  Another long season in store 6-11. 

NFC East

As always Red has a beef with the division that first caught his eye as a young Dallas Cowboys fan.  Those were the days my friend – back before  immortal Tom Landry was shown the door and Barry Switzer was allowed to claim a championship ring.   

Philadelphia  –  Coming off of what would otherwise be considered  a respectable 11-6 season and a playoff berth, the Eagles still have to explain the late season collapse resulting in an 1-6 finish.  The season opener in Sao Paulo, Brazil against the Packers is an early test.   Week 4 is on the road at Tampa Bay.  But after that the schedule lightens up.   The Eagles do not play another team that made the playoffs last season until a week 10 showdown in Dallas (make that Arlington).  They could easily be 8-1  or 7-2 at that point.  It’s tougher after that with games against the Rams, Ravens and a week 17 rematch with the Cowboys.  This appears to be one of the weaker schedules this season.  New offensive coordinator (and future head coach somewhere) Kellen Moore will create even more dynamism in an already loaded offense.  The Eagles have two of the best wideouts in the game in Brown and Smith, and if Saquon Barkley holds form, Mssrs Kellen and Hurts will have a lot to work with and be able to conserve Hurts’ legs for critical situations.  The defense has been shorn up by using their first 3 picks on defenders. Milton Williams and Jalen Carter anchor a solid defensive line.    Eagles win division with a 12-5 record. 

Dallass –  You read that right. Let’s go straight to the complaint booth.  The Cowboys are featured in the Sunday 3:25 pm game six times (Eagles twice, Giants, Lions, Ravens and Browns) none of which make geographic sense.  Then they also get three of the highly desirable Sunday night games (Bucs, 49ers and Stealers), plus two Monday night specials (Texans and Bengals) and of course the usual Thanksgiving Day spectacular against the Giants.  Red is a bit slow, but that adds up six games with national TV audience and six more that will likely be the nationally televised late game on Fox.  That’s a heaping helping of a team that has won all of 4 playoff games in the last 28 seasons and has never made it out of the second round during that span.  Not to mention getting trounced 48 to 32  by the decidedly mediocre Packers last season (16 garbage time points in the 4^th quarter disguised the doleful drubbing handed down by the Pack who led 48-16 with 10 minutes left in the game).  Okay, Red knows you are tired of his pedantic rants about the Cowboys and TV, so let’s move on.  The Cowboys will have a decent regular season, but if fans are thinking that Zeke E. is going to lead the team back to the promised land, you have the proverbial another think coming.  Maybe he is a little better playing for a real team this year but less than a 1000 total yards and 5 TDs isn’t going to get the Cowboys over the playoff hump. Running backs in their 9^th season usually are not difference makers.  Prove Red wrong Zeke!   And talk about a tough schedule.  Of course they have the Eagles twice, but they also play a bunch of other contenders including the Browns, Ravens, Stealers, Lions, 49ers, Texans, Bengals and Bucs.  That’s 10 losable games.  The Cowboys did not play many close games last season.  Only the wins over the Chargers,  Seahawks and Lions and the , losses to the Eagles and Dolphins were by less than 7 points.  That’s pretty unusual.  This season it will all come down to crunch time in close games.  Cowboys finish 10- 7 and are on the bubble.

New York –  The Giants are slightly improved, but only slightly.  The defense looks very solid.  New defensive coordinator Shane Bowen has one of the best front sevens to work with, if the secondary comes through at all not many teams are going to run up the score on the Giants.  That’s the good news.  The  Giants rather stupefying commitment to Daniel Jones and the lack of much offensive firepower is troublesome.  The schedule, however, is favorable with only 3 real road games (with an additional trip to Deutschland) in the last nine.  In fact, the Giants have eight of their home games in the last thirteen weeks.  That helps, but not enough.  Red is going long on the Giants and predicts a credible 8-9 season with an outside chance of a winning record.

Washington – Red’s grandmother always gave him the old “if you don’t have anything nice to say. . .” line more times than he would like to recall.  Maybe Heisman Trophy winner Jayden Daniels is the answer to the long standing quarterback problem in DC.  He looks the part of a new age NFL quarterback with mobility and a strong arm.  Offensive coordinator Kliff Kingsbury has a chance to redeem himself with Daniels and show that he has not lost that savant touch he showed at Texas Tech before failing rather miserably in AZ.  Red also likes new head coach Dan Quinn – although he cannot say exactly why.  That’s all the good things that Red can muster up today.  Commanders will show some spark but 7-10 is probably the top end in 24.   

After years of mediocrity, the NFC North may be poised to have the best record in the NFL this season.

NFC North

Detroit –  The Lions were Red’s NFL Team of Destiny in 2022.  Red was but a season early on predicting a turnaround for a franchise with not much to show for itself since Bobby Layne was under center.   In fairness, the Lions did make it to the NFC Championship game in 1991 where they got rolled and smoked by the then OTNAs.  Red doesn’t get to use the OTNA acronym much anymore since the DC franchise became the Commanders (who haven’t commanded much of anything since the change).  Anyhow, that game was clearly the highlight of Mark Rypien’s career and the lowlight of Erik Kramer’s.  But so much for ancient history.  Word is Mr. Gibbs will be healthy for the opening game and with him and a revitalized David Montgomery, Jared Goff will not be feeling the pressure to heave it deep so much this season. Red is just scattershooting here but he likes the Lions for some unknown reason.  Maybe reaching the NFC Championship game again has shown the Lions that they are really for real.  Lions are 12-5 and storm into the  playoffs with closing wins over the Niners and Vikings.

Green Bay – After a rousing finish winning 6 of the last 8  sneaking into the playoffs as the last seed and just stomping on Dallas in the first round, the Pack seemed headed in the right direction.  Maybe the Pack was lucky to hang with the Niners in round 2 or maybe they just weren’t ready yet.  This season looks to be more of the same.  Jordan Love is trending in the right direction.  The addition of Josh Jacobs cannot hurt.  And a relatively middle of the road schedule will help.  Other than the Lions, the Packers only play 4 playoff teams from 2023 (Eagles, Texans, Niners and Dolphins) who with the exception of the Niners are not the cream of the crop.  Packers do okay at 10-7.

Chicago –  Is Caleb Williams the second coming of Patrick Mahomes.  A spectacular season at USC with 30 TDs against only 5 INTs indicates that he knows where to put the ball.  He certainly is the early season favorite for ROY honors. And with a pretty damn  good surrounding cast headed by Swift, Moore and Allen, the Bears will make some noise.  Red figures about 9-8 worth of noise with an upside if the breaks go the Bears way.

Minnesota –  Not that long ago the Vikings were an up and coming team.  Playing in this very tough division, they are looking at a long season.  6-11.

AFC North

Sometimes known as the Black and Blue Division, for the last decade or so it has just been the Blue division with little or nothing to show for its efforts. It was the only division to send 3 teams to the playoffs in 2023 and every team in the division finished with a winning record – something that had not been done since 1935.   The Browns and Stealers got smoked in the Wildcard round, but the Ravens made a game effort in the AFC title game but still fell a touchdown short of the SB against the mighty Chiefs.   

Baltimore – Everything should be in place here.   The best quarterback in the league not named Mahomes who has yet to prove himself in the playoffs.  Derrick Henry still seems to have gas in the tank.  Wideouts are likely second rate but with LJ as a threat on every play, just an average set might do.  Ravens defenses always seem to be good enough.  And they may just have the best kicker in the history of the NFL in Justin Tucker.  Opening night will tell us a lot with a prime time matchup against their nemesis – aka the Kansas City Chiefs.  Overall it’s a tough schedule and the league has not done the Ravens any  favors with a closing stretch that could be brutal.  The Ravens play the Giants at home in Week 16, followed by a Saturday game against the Stealers and then travel to Houston to face the Texans on Christmas Day.   That’s three late season games in 11 days.  Red calls BS on the league scheduler.  Ravens go 12-5 to win the division

Cincinnati –  A lot of tough breaks last season for the Bengals.  They get a break with a 4^th place schedule in 2024.  Week 2 in Kansas City will tell us a lot about the Bengals.  And once again the schedulers see to want to wreak havoc on another AFC North team.  The Bengals also get 3 games in an 11 day stretch with a trip to Arlington to face the Cowboys on Monday night in Week 14, followed by a short trip to Nashville for the Titans in Week 15 and back at home on Thursday night against the Browns in Week 16.  That’s the culmination of a tough stretch that begins in Week 10.  Joe Burrow needs to return to form and stay on the field chucking bombs to his excellent Nos 1 and 2 wideouts Chase and Higgins.  The Bengals gave up 24 or more points in 7 of their 8 losses mostly feasting on the weak sisters (wins against the Niners and Bills stood out before a 3 game losing streak killed their momentum).  Bengals probably sneak in an a weaker AFC at 10-7. 

Pittsburgh – Perhaps the most loyal fan base in the AFC gives the Stealers a boost.  The cynical might say, “What else is there to do in Pittsburgh?”  The answer is  . . . Red is not stupid enough to answer that question.  And something is definitely going on in the league office when it comes to scheduling AFC North games.  Between Weeks 11 and 18, the Stealer play all of their division games against – which as previously noted means 4 games against  playoff teams from 2023.  Throw in a game on the road in Philly and the Chiefs at home on Christmas Day and the Stealers are playing 6 of 8  games against what should be quality opponents.  Good luck with that.  Stealers are just on the outside looking in at 9-8. 

Cleveland – Which leaves us with the Browns who Red has on good information are JD Vance’s favorite team.  Let me couch this in as nice a way as Red can – the Browns will stink this year.  The lounger the season goes, the worse the Browns will be.  They won’t be in the chaise.  It may be the worst Browns season sofa – and that’s saying a lot.  Take a divan into their schedule and you will not seat a lot of wins –  especially in their sectional rivalries.  An ottoman might disagree, but Red is his own man.  Although he might love to seat more, Red will settee number of wins  for the Browns at around 6. 

“The simplest explanation for why Republican politicians behave like a bunch of bigots is that they are, in fact, a bunch of bigots.”

Amanda Marcotte

Needs no explanation.

The latest from “Team Trump” – whatever that is – smacks of desperation. As always, Red is there for you to read between the lines.

Friend (or Rube, Mark, Pigeon, Moron – You choose),

Our justice system has utterly COLLAPSED (because I don’t have a lap dog Attorney General anymore).
If the leaked reports are believed to be true, then at any moment, Soros’ bought-and-paid-for prosecutor (there’s no evidence of that but the rule is invoke Soros’ name whenever possible) may very well INDICT President Trump for having committed NO CRIME at all (other than the obvious ones)!
Not just our movement (bowels are blocked from too many Big Macs), but our entire country is counting on YOU in what is surely the darkest chapter of our nation’s history (the Civil War was just a blip).
Now more than ever before, we need to PROVE just how many patriots are willing to peacefully (just like on January 6th) defend (or die if necessary) our movement and SAVE our Republic (meaning my skin).
President Trump (you know I wrote this) made himself loud and clear: He will NEVER SURRENDER our great country to the raging left-wing mob (only the raging right-wing mob need apply).
Are YOU with him, Friend (meaning open your wallet- otherwise take a hike)?
Please make a contribution of just $1 today (if you are a freaking cheapskate) to cement your place in history as a FOUNDING DEFENDER (a/k/a someone dumb enough to give me money) of our movement during these dark times (really dark for me).

Thank you,
Team Trump