Tag Archives: Fantasy Football

Red’s 2024 Weekly NFL Rankings – Week 17

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RED  Week 17

Red missed a lot of action last week what with the holidays, multiple family visits, overeating, and general EOY listlessness.  But he springs back into action for your final 2024 weekly ranking because after this week it’s the playoffs and none of this will matter. 

  1. Kansas City Chiefs (15-1).  Not quite as dramatic this week.  Who will sit for the meaningless game against the Broncos?
  2. Minnesota Vikings (14-2).  Turns out Darn Old Sam has the Vikings on the verge of a top finish in the NFC and a 1st round bye.  The Lions may have something to say about that.
  3. Buffalo Bills (13-3).  Nobody wants to play the Bills in the playoffs – well, except for maybe the Chiefs.
  4. Detroit Lions (14-2).  Did not look impressive in eking out a win over the more or less hapless 49ers on Monday.  The defense has to play better or it could be one and done for the Cats. This week against the Vikings is a must win heading into the playoffs for the Lions to prove they’ve got the stuff. (with apologies to Cheech and Chong).
  5. Philadelphia Eagles (13-3).  Who needs Jalen Hurts against the hapless Cowboys?  Certainly not the Eagles.  But they may need Kenny Pickett this week.  Eagles fans should be pleading “please, please, please do not let Saquon Barkly play even if the single season rushing record is within reach.”
  6. Baltimore Ravens (11-5).  Outscoring their opponents by a 3 to 1 mark over the last 3 games is something you might call an indication of the havoc the Ravens could wreak as a lower seed in the playoffs.  The Texans are the likely first fodder on the route to an AFC championship game.
  7. Washington Commanders (11-5).  The Commanders could win 12 games.  The Commanders could win 12 games.  The Commanders  could win . . .  No matter how many times he says it, Red still can’t believe it.
  8. Los Angeles Chargers (10-6).  Chargers could make some noise, but realistically they are the 4th best team in the AFC.  But it’s a funny game with an oddly shaped ball.
  9. Green Bay Packers (11-5).  Red sees the Packers, packing it in, packing their bags and heading home in the first round.
  10. Pittsburgh Stealers (10-6).  Hopefully, the Stealers are happy just to be in the playoffs because not much else has gone right lately with three losses in a row against the better competition. And there is only better competition in the playoffs.
  11. Los Angeles Rams (10-6).  It looked very unlikely at the mid point of the season and even less so after a 1-4 start, but the Rams are in.  The offense has not been clicking for 3 weeks, but that could change.  
  12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7).  Maybe?
  13. Denver Broncos (9-7).  The Broncos may catch the Chiefs during a bye week for the big stars which could put the Broncos into the playoffs just in time to get stomped by a real team.
  14. Cincinnati Bengals (8-8).  A hard luck season deserves a fairy tale ending.  But fairy tales are just that.
  15. Houston Texans (9-7).  When Tank Dell went out, the lights went out in Houston.  C.J. Stroud has struggled down the stretch. Among the many ugly losses in franchise history, the utter ass-whomping the Ravens gave them on Christmas day has to rank way up there. A playoff win would be miraculous at this point.  
  16. Seattle Seahawks (9-7).  Are better than some teams playing in the postseason.  The inexplicable loss to the Giants early on has the Hawks at home for the new year.
  17. Miami Dolphins (8-8).  It just doesn’t appear that Tua will ever stay healthy enough to pull this team through.
  18. Atlanta Falcons (8-8).  They’re not dead yet!
  19. Arizona Cardinals (7-9)  Is anyone really surprised the Cards tanked?
  20. San Francisco 49ers (6-10).  Game until the end, but the end is nigh. Well about half past nigh anyway.
  21. Indianapolis Colts (7-9).  Defense let them down time and time again this season. And for the last time against the Giants?  Ugh. Oh wait, there is another game in which the Colts D can still suck.
  22. New Orleans Saints (5-11).  Will get to watch the Superb Owl from the comfort of Bourbon St. Drink up boys!
  23. Dallas Cowboys (7-9).  If you think having Dak back is going to lead this team out of the wilderness next season, well you have another think coming.  Red just wishes he could rank the Cowboys lower than this, but he is a fair man.  Not a good man, but a fair man.
  24. Carolina Panthers (4-12).  Are you still reading? What is your problem?
  25. Las Vegas Raiders (4-12).  The parade of 4-12 teams continues.
  26. Chicago Bears (4-12).  Not the worst of the 4-12 teams is damning with faint praise.
  27. New York Jets (4-12).  Aaron Rodgers is not the most sacked QB of all time.  So the Jets have that going for them.
  28. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-12).  The only way is up from this season.  There are some reasons for hope in Brian Thomas, Jr. and the return of Trevor Lawrence. And they play in a shit division.
  29. New York Giants (3-13).  Red would really have liked to rank the Giants last, but they are such a disappointment to him – what with winning a game and all.
  30. Cleveland Browns (3-13).  Another year, another shitty Browns season.
  31. Tennessee Titans (3-13).  If you don’t have anything nice to say – you probably should be apply to be a bloviator on ESPN.
  32. New England Patriots (3-13).  Even Red is surprised that the Pats are the laughing stock of the league. But he’s still laughing.

Red’s 2024 Weekly NFL Rankings – Week 15

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There is a lot of complaining about the MNF double-headers this season. To be fair, no one complained much when there was only one double-header on opening weekend. But this year, there will be four – capped off in week 15 starting with the Bears at the Vikings and followed 30 minutes later by the Falcons at the Raiders. Red doesn’t know about you, but maybe one of these two games might actually offer some excitement. Red isn’t holding his breath.

On to more important things.

  1. Detroit Lions (12-1) – It took a lot to beat the Packers, but beat them they did.
  2. Kansas City Chiefs (12-1) Running out of different ways to win games on the last play.
  3. Philadelphia Eagles (11-2) Beating all comers right now. That is, if the Panthers rate as a “comer.”
  4. Minnesota Vikings (11-2) Red hasn’t believed. Red may be wrong.
  5. Pittsburgh Stealers (10-3) Stealers have not won in Philadelphia since 1965. LBJ was president and the Vietnam War was heating up. LBJ is dead. Vietnam is more or less an ally and the Stealers will have to wait another 8 years.
  6. Buffalo Bills (10-3) Josh Allen is the first player in NFL history to rush for 3 touchdowns and throw for 3 touchdowns in a single game – and yet it wasn’t enough. Bills defense is cratering.
  7. Green Bay Packers (9-4) Losing the close games to good teams does not bode well for a playoff run.
  8. Baltimore Ravens (8-5) Oh how the mighty have fallen. Edgar, Allan and Poe are ready to shout “Nevermore.”
  9. Los Angeles Chargers (8-5) Ignore the Chargers at your peril.
  10. Seattle Seahawks (8-5) Four wins in a row. The hottest team not named the Lions, Chiefs or Eagles.
  11. Denver Broncos (8-5) Continuing to surprise Red – and most of the league.
  12. Washington Commanders (8-5) Favorable schedule down the stretch has this team on the inside track for a wild card spot.
  13. Los Angeles Rams (7-6) Matthew Stafford is 11-1 in December since moving to the west coast.
  14. Houston Texans (8-5) Since stomping the Cowboys, the Texans have been decidedly mediocre.
  15. Tampa Buccaneers (7-6) Control their fate in the weak NFC South.
  16. Arizona Cardinals (6-7) What has happened to Marvin Jr.?
  17. San Francisco 49ers (6-7) Their injury list would make a grown man weep.
  18. Indianapolis Colts (6-7) Every game is now a playoff game for the Colts.
  19. Atlanta Falcons (6-7) Every other game is now a playoff game for the Falcons.
  20. Cincinnati Bengals (5-8) “If I only had a defense” – a new verse for the Wizard of Oz classic song.
  21. Miami Dolphins (6-7) Maybe?
  22. New Orleans Saints (5-8) Maybe not.
  23. Chicago Bears (4-9) Definitely not.
  24. Dallas Cowboys (5-8) Red predicts a 1-3 finish for the team in Arlington. Will they ever win a home game?
  25. Carolina Panthers (3-10) Red can say this, the Panthers are the best 3-10 team in the NFL.
  26. Cleveland Browns (3-10) At least they are entertaining.
  27. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-10) The Jaguars have won 3 games? Was Red asleep?
  28. Tennesee Titans (3-10) The AFC South has more than its fair share of 3-10 teams.
  29. New York Jets (3-10) Maybe 3-10 is the new parity?
  30. New England Patriots (3-10) Yep.
  31. New York Giants (2-11) Sad times in the Big A.
  32. Las Vegas Raiders (2-11) Red is not betting on the come.

Red’s 2024 NFL Preseason Picks Returns and the Dead Man of the Year Award

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Red has been missing in action for quite some time now.  Normally the season recap goes here, but it is hard to recap a season that you sat out.  However, a hurricane and a bout of COVID have convinced Red to get off of his duff and start embarrassing himself with NFL predictions yet again. 

But first, the Annual (sort of) version of Red’s NFL Deadman of the Year Award.  As readers may (or may not) remember, this award goes to the NFL player who contributed about as much to his team’s success as would have a Dead Man.

Drum Roll please.

Readers should first note, however,  that  injury does not factor in to the official Dead Man rankings.  Thus for example, as much as you might want Red to consider the utterly miserable season of – say – Aaron Rodgers – the fact that he finished the season with one pass attempt, no completions, no yardage and one sack would otherwise qualify him for consideration. But the fact that this was all due to injury puts A-Rodg out of contention.   See also, JK Dobbins,  Nick Chubb, Deshaun Watson,  Jack Conklin and others.

There were some worthy candidates.  Players like Michael Gallup (Cowboys), Dameon Pierce (Texans), Bryce Young (Panthers), Jerry Jeudy (Broncos) and Derek Carr (Saints) come to mind, but they all did something that barely contributed to the success of their team.  So we look elsewhere.

And where else to look but to the franchise that was in very recent memory the standard by which all others were judged.  That of course means the New England Patriots.  After leading the Pats to a 10-7 season in his rookie year and then falling off considerably in 2022, Quarterback Mac Jones was nothing short of dreadful last season.  He was benched in week 4 in a 38-3 loss to the Cowboys.  Given another chance in week 5 he was benched in a 34-0 loss to the mediocre Saints.  He would get yanked again in week 10 in a slightly more respectable 10-6 loss to the Colts, before his season finally ended a week 11 loss to the Giants (10-7) with redoubtable Bailey Zappe taking the helm.  Jones would not play in another game and was inactive for the season finale. The high point Mac’s season was a rather inexplicable 29-25 win against the Bills.  Overall, Jones lost 9 of his 11 starts, ended with 12 INTs and 10 TDs, had one 300 yard passing game (week 1) and passed for under 200 yards 5 times.  After week one, he had a meager 7 more TD tosses in the next 10 games.  On the bright side he only fumbled 3 times. How all of this added up to a 77.0 QB rating is something of a mystery to Red.  

CONGRATULATIONS (or condolences) – Mac Jones you are Red’s 2023 NFL Deadman of the Year.

P.S.  I hear that Jacksonville is lovely in the Fall.   

Paxton Declares Daily Fantasy Football to be Illegal Gambling

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Embattled Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton threw down the gauntlet on another front on Tuesday when he issued a non-binding opinion declaring daily fantasy football to be illegal gambling as defined under Texas law.  Paxton’s office issued an opinion in response to a request from Rep. Myra Crownover asking whether daily fantasy leagues such as DraftKings and FanDuel were illegal, and whether fantasy sports leagues where the house does not take a rake and the participants wager only among themselves are legal.

The issue turns on the application of Chapter 47 of the Texas Penal Code which prohibits betting on the outcome of sports games or contests or the performance of a participant in a game or contest.  The crux of Paxton’s opinions revolves around the question of whether participating in a commercial daily fantasy league constitutes a bet.   Paxton concludes that because there is an element of chance in those games, then regardless of the skill level involved in picking particular players, participants are placing a bet when they participate in fantasy football.  Therefore, Paxton concludes that commercial daily fantasy football is illegal gambling in Texas.

With respect to the more traditional season-long fantasy leagues where the participants are betting against each other and the house does not take a rake, Paxton concludes that such leagues fall under an exception to the illegal gambling laws.

“Under this statutory framework, odds are favorable that a court would conclude that participation in paid daily fantasy sports leagues constitutes illegal gambling, but that participation in traditional fantasy sport leagues that occurs in a private place where no person receives any economic benefit other than personal winnings and the risks of winning or losing are the same for all participants does not involve illegal gambling.”

In other words, Paxton is going long on the courts finding that your friendly workplace fantasy football league is okay.  Red predicts that this non-binding decision – more than his other well-documented legal problems – will hurt Paxton’s chances for re-election.