Tag Archives: Gambling

Red’s NFL Weekly Six Pack – Week 1

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Red will be back making his weekly picks with possibly some time off in October for vacation. Red promises to provide his sure-fire playoff picks in the next couple of weeks. But let’s get started with some fun and not a whole lot of analysis.

Your Early Game Pick of the Week For some unknown reason, the NFL kicks off on Wednesday with a replay of the Superb Owl LX when the Patriots travel west to face the Seahawks. Oh, who is Red kidding having a Wednesday night and Thursday night game is just another money grab for a league that has a back room employing poorly paid immigrants to shovel money in shifts 24 hours a day. Will the Pats be out to avenge their pathetic showing in February? Well, yes. But while revenge is a dish best served cold (pardon the aphorism), so is the Pats offense when facing a real team. And as always overcoming the reverse triple time zone hex while not as difficult as the regular triple time zone hex. Yes, the Seahawks have lost offensive whiz Klint Kubiak and Superb Owl MVP K. Walker but they still have one of the best defenses in the league. Seattle 24 New England 14.

Your Texas Team Pick of the Week – Meanwhile in Houston, the Texans have a chance to start the season on a very high note. CJ Stroud is a popular whipping boy right now. Josh Allen perhaps does not get the whipping he deserves for the failure to lead the Bills to the promised land. The Bills will have a good season but it gets off to a rough start when the Texans running game and defense dominate. Houston 21 Buffalo 13.

Your Blow-Out Pick of the Week – Look for the Lions to mop the field with the Saints on Sunday afternoon. The bad taste of last season is out of the Lions’ mouth. The Saints are trying to rebuild without much success. The Lions cover 7 rather handily. But as always Red’s prime caveat is do not bet the farm or even the front yard. Detroit 35 New Orleans 9.

Your Must Watch Pick of the Week – The Monday night matchup between the Chiefs and Broncos has Red really intrigued. Mahomes is back but pretty much without the wheels that fueled success early in his career. Kelce is not what he used to be now that he is a dedicated Swifty and the rest of the tools just really aren’t there. Andy will rely on a dink and dunk game with the only deep threat being X. Worthy. The Broncos still want to light it up and forget about sucking gas in the AFC Championship game with a third string quality QB at the helm. Look for Nix to have the better comeback in a very intriguing and entertaining game. Denver 31 Kansas City 27.

Your Ridiculous Road Game Pick of the Week – Every week where there is an NFL game on foreign soil Red will probably employ this category. And this week features what may be the most ridiculous NFL road game of all time when the 49ers and Rams face off in Melbourne. That is in Australia for the geographically challenged readers among you. And as far as Red can tell the only Australian this game will be the 49ers punter Mitch Wishnowsky. Although, Red has long been a fan of Australian Rules Football (although sad to see the referees in the white Fedoras are no longer a feature), Red now wishes that the NFL would continue to play games only in the Western hemisphere and leave football to the Australians as they like it. San Francisco 27, Los Angeles Rams 20.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – Some weeks it is a challenge to pick out a worthy matchup for the The Shit Bowl of the Week. Not this week when the Jets travel to Nashville to take on the Titans. Those who dare watch this game must put all sharp objects securely away, lest they be tempted to gouge out their eyes with a carrot peeler at half time. Don’t say Red didn’t warn you. But the rules of this exercise require Red to pick a “winner.” As previously noted, Red thinks the Titans are somewhat improved this season and this is a must win game for them to show that. Tennessee 11, New York Jets 9.

Red out.

Red’s 2026 NFL Deadman of the Year Award

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Red’s 2025 NFL Deadman of the Year Award

Every year – at least when he bothers to provide his faithful readers with actual NFL picks – Red selects a player to receive the Deadman of the Year award.  This dubious honor goes to the player who might as well have been dead for all the good he did his team in 2025.  Those out for injuries generally are not up for consideration although some exceptions have been made in the past.  There were some serious contenders in 2025.  Patrick Mahomes’ performance confirmed the end of the Chiefs Dynasty and he was helped by lackluster numbers from Travis Kelce.  But both players would have had decent seasons for almost any other franchise.  JJ McCarthy clearly established that the Vikings made a huge mistake in showing Darn Old Sam the door.  C. J. Stroud continues to unimpress with a mediocre season lowlighted by his 4 INTs in the Texans second round playoff game against New England – who showed just how undeserving they were in the Superb Owl. If coaches were eligible, Pete Carroll would certainly be in the mix racking up the worst record in Raiders’ history.  If he had recovered from his Achilles tendon rupture, Red has no doubt that DeShaun Watson might have been a contender.  There is always 2026 DW!  After careful consideration and about 5 minutes of internet scrolling, this year’s award goes to a player who was not injured but whose underperformance  on the field merited him the honor. 

TUA TAGOVAILOA

Let’s start with the stats.  TT led the league in one category – Interceptions with 15 – including Hat Tricks in Weeks 6 and 7.   You might think that was somewhat offset by his 20 Touchdown tosses, but one must remember that he was benched after Week 15 after 14 games in favor  of Quinn Ewers a  rookie seventh round draft pick.  Not known as a runner TT managed to amass a mighty total of 42 yards rushing.  Sacks were not a huge problem with only about 30 beat downs.  Seemingly on the verge of maybe turning it around after a dreadful 2-7 start, the Fins had won 4 in a row going into the Steelers game.  Red must digress when he notes that passer rating is a stat that eludes him.  Somehow TT managed a 113.2 rating in what would be his  final game of the season – a 15-28 loss that really wasn’t that close in Pittsburgh.  The real kicker, however, was TT’s 4 year $212 million contract.  The Dolphins had to ditch him and will be sucking salary cap gas for another two seasons. Good luck in Atlanta Tua!  Maybe Q. Ewers is the answer, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.  Sad times on South Beach. 

Congratulations Mr. Tagovailoa – You are the 2025 Deadman of the Year.

Red’s 2026 NFL Picks – NFC East

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Red’s 2026 NFL Picks –  NFC East

Red traditionally starts with the NFL East.  Don’t ask why – because he doesn’t know. 

Philadelphia –  Let’s start with the two-time reigning NFC East and 2024 NFL champs.  2025 finished on a disappointing note.  After a nice 8-2 start, the Eagles lost 3 straight and floundered to a 11-6 finish not quite good enough to secure a first round bye.  That resulted in a Wild Card round close 23-19 loss to the 49ers.  Red notes that a surprising 22 games in NFL history have ended with that somewhat odd score.  Jalen Hurts (known to some as the most polarizing QB in the NFL) is still in his prime.  Can the experience of the venerable Red Rifle  aka Andy Dalton help Hurts overcome some of the errors of his ways?  Hurts has Saquon Barkley hoping to defy old man time for at least one more season.  He is effectively entering his 8th season have missed most of 2020 with only 19 carries. A few RBs continue to excel after 7 seasons but they are the exception to the rule.  As such, the Eagles had best not count on another 300 plus touches from Barkley in 2026.  And maybe that will not be necessary. The receiving corps gets a welcome addition in first round pick Makai Lemon and possibly free agent Marquise Brown.  Maybe Tank Bigsby lives up to his name to take some heat off of Saquon in short yardage situations.  What does not seem questionable is the Eagles defense.  Red expects the No Phly Zone to be in rare form in 2026.  Questions about a 5th offensive coordinator in 5 seasons are certainly reasonable, but HC SirIanni has shown that he knows how to win with a 59-26 record over 5 seasons – second in winning percentage only John Madden and Vince Lombardi.  Not bad company for a team that actually plays in the city in its name.  Eagles go 12-5 and win the East rather easily. 

Washington  –  The former OTNAs if you have to ask you have not been paying attention) who play in Maryland are a sexy pick to challenge for a playoff spot in 2026 after a disappointing 5-12 record last season.  Let’s face it – an 8 game losing streak is tough to overcome.  And on top of that, the Commandos were the first NFL team ever to lose four consecutive games by 21 or more points.  But as all NFL fans know, every year one formerly pathetic excuse for a professional football team rises from the dustbin and makes the playoffs.  Red is not calling the Commandos his “2026 NFL Team of Destiny” just yet, but he thinks that the DC faithful will not be dissatisfied in December.  Jayden Daniels and Terry McLaurin are back. New additions include  Laremy Tunsil who may have something left in the tank, Deebo Samuel a reliable option at WR and Von Miller and Will Harris on defense. Dan Quinn is an experienced and successful Head Coach and while memories are short, this team did go 12-5 in 2024.  Commanders will finish 10-7 with an outside shot at a Wild Card spot.

New York –  The New York Football Giants who play in New Jersey. Most predict the Giants to be around 7-10 in 2026.  Red certainly has no love lost for Trump bootlicker Jaxson Dart, but he is a competent NFL QB with a good crop of receivers.  Red does like Tyrone Tracy, Cam Skattebo and if they stay healthy the Giants’ rushing attack will take a lot of pressure off of Dart. Abdul Carter looks like a superstar in the offing at outside LB for a defense that could set a new team sack record. If they knock off the Cowboys in Week 1, they have 3 very winnable games in their next 6 when facing, the Titans, Cardinals and Saints.  A 4-3 record going into their bye week sets them up nicely.  It gets much tougher after that and some upsets will be needed to bring home an 8-9 record and win the tie-breaker with Dallas for 3rd spot in the East.  Giants 8-9.

Dallas –  The Cowboys (who play in Arlington) are clearly in decline.  Since back to back to back 12-5 seasons, the team has won only 7 games the past two seasons and of course, missed the playoffs.  Since 1996, the Cowboys have won a grand total of 4 playoff games.  If you are not a math whiz that is one playoff win on average every 7.5 seasons.  So first, what do the Cowboys have going for them this season.  They still have the best kicker in the league in Brandon Aubrey and added George Pickens at wide receiver.  The defense was not technically the worst in the NFL in 2025 but it wasn’t for lack of trying.  Only the Jets gave up more points and only the Bengals and Commandos gave up more yards per game. The run defense was bad, but the passing defense was truly atrocious giving up more yards per game than any other team. (NOTE:  If defenses could win Deadman of the Year – the Cowboys would have swept the field.  Maybe Red needs to rethink his award strategy!) Yes, the defense will not be as truly terrible as it was in 2025, but . . .   Anyhow, Red will continue here with his traditional beef.  A team that has not really sniffed a chance at a Conference Championship appearance, much less a Superb Owl in 30 years gets 9 national TV appearances yet again.  That includes the big time Week 1 Sunday night game, one more Sunday night game against Green Bay in October followed by a Monday night showdown with the Eagles, the mandatory Thursday night game, another Monday nightery  in December and 4 late afternoon Sunday games including the prime Thanksgiving spot.  Only one of the late pm games is time zone related when they play the Rams in late December.  Cowboy haters will have their hands full.  Cowboys go 8-9 and round out the bottom of the NFC East.

Red’s 2026 NFL Picks – NFC South

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Red’s 2025 NFL Picks – NFC South

Talk about a meaningless chore to pick what some call the NFL’s most mediocre division.  That was incorrect because last season it was the NFL’s worst division. The best thing you can say about the NFC South is that all of the teams play in the city (or state) they are named for. Red keeps this one short and not so sweet. Well here goes nothing -literally – because any team could win this division with a 7-10 record.  You laugh, but last year three teams finished with 8-9 records and Red isn’t exactly sure how many tiebreakers they had to run through to declare the Panthers as the “winner.”  Turns out it was one.  Turns out under the current format for this exercise Red must pick a division winner.  Drum roll.  Dice roll.

Carolina –  The Panthers ended 2025 with the “distinction” of being the first NFL team to twice make the playoffs with a losing record, but nonetheless acquitted themselves quite nicely in the playoffs taking the Rams down to the wire in a 34-31 loss.   The reward for winning the division is of course the first place schedule which gets the Cats matchups with the 2024 and 2025 NFL Champions in the Eagles and Seahawks.  That may be the key to not repeating as division champs.  Bryce Young is ensconced under center and his O line is good enough to give him time.  Unfortunately, Mr. Young just does not have much in the way of a supporting cast.  Defense and special teams will have to win a few games this season for the Panthers to be competitive.  Panthers wind up 7-10 and win the division once again with a losing record. 

Atlanta –  The Falcons were definitely the team no one wanted to face at the end of 2025 winning their last four in a row.  Some solace for a team that has not registered a winning season in 8 long years.  Unfortunately, it will be 9 come January 2027.  Do the Falcons have a quarterback.  Michael Penix can’t stay on the field and wasn’t very good when he was playing. So who do the Falcons turn to? – None other than Red’s 2025 Deadman of the Year – Tua Tagovailoa.  Bijan Robinson is great – no one questions that, but he cannot carry an offense by his lonesome although he certainly tried last season with 366 touches.  Drake London and Kyle Pitts are no slouches but someone has to get the rock to them.  One might feel better with a steady hand on the sidelines – but Shaky Kevin Stefanski does seem to be the answer.  Falcons are 7-10.  Are you sensing a trend here?

Tampa Bay –  The popular pick of the pundits and who is Red to disagree.  Red wonders why given the late season collapse.  The Bucs will rise and fall with Baker Mayfield.  The loss of Mike Evans is tough – he made Johnny Football look like the real deal. Red refuses to waste any more brain cells on this franchise.  Buccaneers go 7-10.  Sound familiar?

New Orleans –  The Saints also had a nice finish to the 2025 season until running into the Falcons buzz saw in Week 18.  Some view the Saints as ascendent – not exactly a tough call coming off of a sad 6-11 campaign.  Was Tyler Shough the best rookie quarterback in the league last season?  Was there another rookie quarterback worth mentioning?  Red is drawing a blank.  Pick ups of Travis Etienne and draft pick Jordyn Tyson should help with an offense that was overly dependent on Chris Olave.  The defense is hardly improved with several starters departing. On paper the Saints have the second easiest schedule in 2026 – but we know how that can turn out.   If you haven’t been to a Saints home game, you are missing out. Saints are 7-10.   Oh heck yeah!

Red’s 2026 NFL Picks – NFC West

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Red’s 2026 NFL Picks – NFC West

Red was just in San Francisco this summer.  It’s an amazing place in many respects and may have influenced his decision making. 

San Francisco –  Despite some troubles in the owner’s box, Red thinks that Niners (who play in Santa Clara) get off to a fast tart.  Red is not letting the Niners owner off the hooker anything like that for his bad boy behavior. And Red’s female readers should know that Red would never make let such stupidity influence his call girls.  This team has done a lot to vamp up the offense.  They have brought in a harlot of new players who just might not be bawd.  If Red thinks the Niners have a shot to win the whore thing, I’m not madam I?   Red is not one to make these picks and blow his strumpet for no good reason.  If you moll it over, you just might agree.   Niners cocotte a bunch of wins and finish 12-5.

Seattle – Your NFL Champions had a great 2025 and joined the multiple SB winners club.   But those champions typically fall off a bit in their subsequent seasons.  The Seahawks are no different in 2026.  There is still a lot to like about the Falconos Marinos.  The Champions have one of the youngest rosters in the league, but suffered some notable losses at running back and in the secondary.  Darn Old Sam still has reliable targets in Rashid Shaheed and Jaxon Smith-Njigba.  The defense will not be as good as the unit that had 47 sacks and caused 25 turnovers, but still should be a top-5 unit.  The Seahawks are in at 11-6.

Los Angeles –   Red has never liked the Rams and never will. Red loves LA as a city, but not its sports teams.  Let’s leave it at that. Oh yeah, and they play in Inglewood – wherever the hell that is. Adding Myles Garrett on defense is a big plus. There is nothing special about the Rams rushing attack.  Stafford seems ageless with his 46 TDs and 4707 passing yards last season, but he is entering his 18th season. Opening in Melbourne is weird and it doesn’t get much easier after that as the Rams play the Broncos Eagles and Bills in Weeks 3-5.  They get a break mid-season, but have a tough haul after their bye week with the Packers, Chiefs, Niners, Cowboys and then with two out of the last three with the Seahawks – which games will likely determine the Rams fate.   Rams miss out at 9-8.

Arizona –  Dry times in the desert are not about to change – there is no rain in sight.  As noted, every year one team rises from the ashes of the dumpster fire that was the previous season and makes the playoffs.  This is not that year for the Cardinals.  The team needed a new direction and maybe new HC Mike LaFleur can steer a new course.  No offense, but a quarterbacking corps of Jacoby Brissett, Carson Beck and Gardner Minshew probably means “no offense” – at least through the air.  This team will depend heavily on its decent set of RBs perhaps led by rookie Jeremiyah Love finding holes punched by a sub-par offensive line.  And don’t get Red started on the Cards defense.  Cardinals show some slight improvement under less incompetent leadership at 5-12. 

Red 2026 NFL Picks – AFC East

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Red’s 2026 NFL Picks –  AFC East

Red marches on to the American Football Conference – not to be confused with Lake America or the Gulf of America or any other stupidity coming out of the White House. 

Buffalo –   The Bills (who play in Orchard Park) have been a reasonably safe bet to make the playoffs for many years now.  Winning 12 games last season despite a depleted receiving corps, a lackluster defense and some turmoil at the top.  But they now have a Brady (a Joe Brady) at the helm and a new DC and a new stadium to boot.   Josh Allen is still the man until proven otherwise.  DJ Moore will help as WR.  The defense is definitely shored up with new defense backs, an edge rusher and linebacker.  On the downside, the Bills do have to play their fellow second place brethren (Rams and Texans) on the road and have relatively tough matchups playing the NFC North and less so with the AFC West.  The first game in Houston may tell a lot about how the season goes.  Fortunately for the Bills it looks like this may be the easiest division in the NFL to win in 2026.  Bills take the crown with a mediocre 10-7 record.

New England – The most overperforming team (other than the Bears) last season overperformed their way into about the most pathetic Superb Owl performance since the Vikings sad run in the olden days.  Only a late TD kept it from being a total wipeout.  Drake Maye looked overmatched and outwitted in throwing 2 INTs and being sacked 6 times.  The Pats face a much tougher road back to the playoffs this season.  In 2025, the Pats beat exactly one count ‘em one team with a winning record.  And that team – Buffalo – avenged the early season loss in week 14.  Beating the hapless Chargers, perennial second-round loser Texans and the depleted Broncos in the playoffs only led to humiliation in Santa Clara.  This season the Pats will play ten games against teams that have real playoff potential.  Of course there are 2 games against the Bills, but they also face the Stealers, Jaguars, Bears, Packers, Lions, Chiefs and Broncos.  Red calls it 9-8 for the Pats and a very narrow path to a wildcard at best.

New York  – Meet the Jets, greet the Jets, step right up and beat the Jets.  It’s 1973 and Red’s big brother Johnny “Rag Arm” Serruto is singing this at breakfast and it still holds true today.  Red really likes Geno Smith but he did lead the league in interceptions last season and has the distinct disadvantage of playing in New Jersey.  Jets are a run of the mill 8-9.

Miami  – “I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”  H. Simpson.  Red just has to quote Homer every year at some point.  Why not get it out of the way early on? It’s true that the Dophins (who do not play in Miami proper)  look like a basket case and will be lucky to eke out a 5-12 record.

Red 2026 NFL Picks – AFC North

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AFC – North

Remind Red which teams are in this division.

Baltimore  – Red went heavily in on the Ravens in his top tier fantasy team last season and the result was – not so good.  In the immortal words of W. Bush (channeling The Who), “Fool me once – shame on you [awkward pause] – you can’t get fooled again.”  Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fool Red these days.  A new HC in Jesse Minter might breathe some life back into what was a rather moribund offense in 2025.  But there are a lot of question marks at WR and the O line looks mediocre at best.  The defense is still solid and Derrick Henry remains a stud.  The Ravens have what is likely the easiest opening stretch in the league. Their first six games are against the Colts, Saints, Cowboys (in Rio de Janeiro), Titans, Falcons and Browns.  Not one of those teams had a winning record last year.  But 4 of those games are on the road.  If the Ravens can get off to a 5-1 start, then maybe just maybe.  Red is back in the fold calling it 11-6 for the Ravens.

Cincinnati –  Perhaps the most underperforming team in 2025.  Joe Burrow is back and the Bengals can win with him – if he stays on the field.  That is the big question.  But with the ageless Flacco Joe waiting in the wings . . .   There is no shortage of offensive talent at WR and RB if the helmsman is steady.  Defense is good enough. The schedule is about average.                                                                                                                                                                 Bengals are maybe in at 9-8.

Pittsburgh – The Tomlin era is over and the pundits don’t have much faith in the Stealers’ chances in 2026. If you are one of the Stealers faithful thinking that Mike McCarthy is going to lead them to the promised land, Red has choice real estate in southern Iran he would like to sell you.  Red has seen an AI projection having A. Rodge throw for 4141 yards and 20 TDs.  Red knew that AI was a scam or perhaps in debt to the Mob. The team did invest in new talent this year getting WR M. Pittman, Jr., RB R. Dowdle and some decent draft picks.  The defense has been the linchpin of this team for quite some time, but the crew underperformed in 2025 and isn’t getting any younger.  The schedule is not great either.  The Falcons, Browns twice, Saints (in Paris), and Titans are likely wins.  It’s hard to pick out another 4-5 wins.  Red calls it 7-10 for the Stealers.

Cleveland – If you are a Browns fan, here are your choices.  Dupe or masochist. If you are a Browns quarterback here are your choices.  Really there is no choice, you will be lucky to get out alive.  In turn, the Browns will be lucky to go 4-13 and win a couple of games by accident. 

Red’s 2026 NFL Picks – AFC West

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AFC West

Let’s just get on with it.  The AFC West –  Last but certainly not least.

Denver – Red really likes the Broncos chances here.  This was a team that should have been in the Superb Owl last season, but for missing Bo Nix and lackluster running game. The Broncos looked out of sync in the snowy conditions.  All the pieces are back this season.  Nix is developing behind center and the backfield is solid if certainly not spectacular.  Jaylen Waddle is a key addition to the receiving corps.  The Broncos defense was top tier and probably the main reason the team went 14-3 and surprisingly secured the top spot in the AFC – not that it did them much good in the AFC Championship game.  Yet somehow, the Broncos are not the favorite on the road in the Monday night kickoff against the Chiefs.   That game will tell a lot about both teams.  Stay tuned for Red’s Week 1 predictions.  The best team in the NFL looks likely to repeat as division champs.  Broncos are down a bit but still finish 12-5.

Los Angeles – Red has been overly solicitous of the Chargers over the years.  And they have pretty much disappointed him.  Justin Herbert is back for the 3rd season of the so far lagging Jim Harbaugh era.  New offensive and defensive coordinators could spell trouble out of the box with new schemes, but the good news is the first two games are against the Cardinals and Raiders at home in southern California.  Then comes a tough 7 week stretch traveling across the 3-time zone hex to face the Bills, up the coast to Seattle, followed by the Broncos, Chiefs, Rams, Texans and Ravens.  Even after that there are not just a whole lot of obvious wins on the schedule.  The Jets at home, then another triple time zone game in Tampa Bay, and the Raiders again.  Chargers will have to bring it and win some games against playoff teams, but 9-8 looks pretty good and maybe a peek at the playoffs.

Kansas City – All dynasties have some dips (ask any Roman emperor).  The Chiefs took a big dive last season missing the playoffs with a pathetic 6-11 campaign ending an 11 year playoff run while losing 8 of 9 down the stretch.  Mahomes was out after Week 15 and Gardner Minshew also went down, but by that point the season was practically over for the Chiefs.  Mind you, the Chiefs were 1-9 in one possession games after setting an NFL record 12 wins in such games in 2024.  But the Chiefs never really seemed that close to breaking out after an 0-2 start despite being 5-3 near the turn.  The disappointing running game will get a boost with Kenneth Walker III leaving the Seahawks and the receiving corps is adequate with perhaps a budding star in X. Worthy. The defense will benefit from some new young players like Peter Woods, but defense does not win games in KC.  Still it is hard to see too much improvement.  Red bags the Chiefs for a 9-8 finish and a close call on the tiebreaker for the last AFC playoff spot, but you just never know when Andy Reid is in charge.

Las Vegas – Vegas Baby, Vegas!  Truth be told, Red has never had much use for Las Vegas.  Everyone should see it once, but once is enough and Red has had much more than enough.  The worst team in the league last season is looking to rebuild behind Heisman Trophy winner and national champion Fernando Mendoza.  New HC Klint Kubiak also fresh of a championship season in Seattle is a good start as well. Backup QB Kirk Cousins should steady the ship. But the big question is: Can the Raiders sad sack O line keep Mendoza from having his career killed before it ever gets started? – Think David Carr in the Texans first couple of seasons.  Look for the Raiders to be the most improved team in the league in 2026, but that does not translate to much more than a mediocre 7-10 ending.

Red’s NFL Rankings – Week 12

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Week 12 has come and gone with a few surprises. Red is posting this just in time for no one to actually pay attention even though he wrote it on Tuesday.

  1. Detroit Lions –  The Lions have played a much tougher schedule having beaten teams that are in contention for the playoffs (Rams, Seahawks, Vikings, Packers and Texans) – not too mention having scored 52 points twice this season.  The early season loss to the Bucs is the only blemish.
  2. Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs have historical trouble with the Bills.   Chiefs have had a fairly weak schedule with a signature win only against the  Ravens in the season opener.  It’s a pretty weak group the rest of the way with only the Texans and Stealers standing in the way down the stretch.
  3. Buffalo Bills – Can we all praise Josh Allen now?  He’s the toughest quarterback since Steve McNair. The suddenly “Lucky Bills” get to play the Pats twice, Jets, Rams and Niners with only the Lions looking up to the test the rest of the way. 5-1 finish is doable.
  4. Pittsburgh Stealers –  Big, big win over the Ravens has Pitt in line for a division title – Color Red shocked.
  5. Philadelphia Eagles – Handled division rival Commanders with 4th quarter scoring blitz. Eagles are becoming fun to watch again.
  6. Baltimore Ravens – Lamar Jackson always plays poorly against the Stealers – and sank Red’s fantasy team this week..
  7. Minnesota Vikings – Unfortunately playing in same division as the Lions and more unfortunately have Darn Old Sam at the helm.
  8. Arizona Cardinals – Coach of the Year in waiting right now?
  9. Los Angles Chargers – Every time Red thinks the Chargers are going to do something they disappoint.  Stop thinking Red.
  10. Houston Texans – What an ass whomping the Texans laid on the hapless Cowboys. If they keep scoring second half points they will be difficult to stop – but Red doesn’t see them beating the Chiefs and Ravens back to back in weeks 16 and 17. If they can split those games – look out.
  11. Washington Commanders – Still look a bit like pretenders to Red.
  12. Green Bay Packers  – It’s got be frustrating to be 7-3 and have it look like there is only an outside chance of winning your division.
  13. Denver Broncos – Tore the Falcons a new one.
  14. Atlanta Falcons  – Now with scatological options after getting routed by the Broncos – not a good look.
  15.  Seattle Seahawks – Leading the parade of 5 win NFC West teams on the outside looking but not out of it yet.
  16. Los Angeles Rams – One step behind Seattle and in it.
  17.  San Franciso 49ers  – Three steps behind and in last place in their division and somehow not yet out of it.
  18. Indianapolis Colts – Leading the parade of 5 win teams that are barely still in the playoff mix.
  19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Top of the dregs is about all Red can say without hurting someone’s feelings.
  20. Miami Dolphins – All wet.
  21. Cincinnati Bengals – Simply cannot catch a break with a basket right now.
  22. Chicago Bears – Excelling at losing winnable games.  Everyone has a purpose.
  23. New Orleans Saints – Who dat? Who cares?
  24. New York Jets – We all knew A-Rodg was insane.  It’s nice to have positive confirmation.
  25. New England Patriots – Are they still around?
  26. New York Giants – Here Red is just rounding out the “New” teams for fun. The Giants don’t really deserve this high of a ranking even without Daniel Jones.
  27. Carolina Panthers – The Panthers have won two games in a row and are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, the light is the Chiefs Express rolling down the track.
  28. Dallas Cowboys – “I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” H. Simpson. Jerry will need a new face lift after this season.
  29.  Tennessee Titans – Moving on to the part of the rankings that no one cares about.
  30. Los Angeles Raiders – Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
  31. Cleveland Browns – Are they still around?
  32. Jacksonville Jaguars – Man, there sure are a lot of crappy teams in the AFC.

Red’s 2024 NFL Rankings – Week 6

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This week featured quite a few exciting down to the wire games, but for a change – Red posts his weekly rankings early.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – A bit of a grind to dispatch a very game Saints team, but they were ground down fine enough.
  2. Minnesota Vikings – Probably deserve to have the top ranking, but Red has his rules. Plus a bit of the shine came off Darn Old Sam as the offense struggled.
  3. Detroit Lions – The next 5 weeks will tell us if the Lions are really real.
  4. Baltimore Ravens – Derrick Henry takes the team on his back and carries it to an OT win. His run on the Ravens’ first possession in OT will be featured in his Hall of Fame highlights.
  5. Washington Commanders – We will see after the Commandos play the Ravens.
  6. Houston Texans – Red unimpressed by the H-Town logo, helmets and end zone paint and almost coughing up a 3 score lead. Somewhat more impressed by holding off the Bills in crunch time.
  7. Buffalo Bills – The defense is teetering. You can’t expect Josh Allen to pull a win out of the hat week in and week out. Weak out!
  8. Atlanta Falcons – Flying high now. Cue the music. Cue the dancers. Cue the balloons.
  9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – OT loss in Atlanta does not bode well. It bodes bad -sad.
  10. Denver Broncos – Bo Nix, go fix, no picks, so licks – and it suddenly it falls apart.
  11. Seattle Seahawks – A 102 yard fumble return should win you the game. But the Lions are good enough to overcome such nonsense.
  12. Dallas Cowboys – Don’t get too excited over a very ugly win in Pittsburgh.
  13. Chicago Bears – You beat the Panthers, Little Whoop!
  14. San Francisco 49ers – Having yet to win a division or conference game is not what we would call a particularly good look.
  15. Los Angeles Chargers – Bye, bye, bolts. Huh, you say?
  16. Arizona Cardinals – Beating what figures at some point to be a real 49ers team was a big lift and a big lift.
  17. New York Giants – Red is betting on the come here. And expecting snake eyes any moment.
  18. New Orleans Saints – are marching out.
  19. Las Vegas Raiders – Does anyone really know what time it is? You know they don’t put clocks in the casinos for a reason.
  20. Miami Dolphins – Unfortunately, they cannot play the Patriots every week.
  21. Indianapolis Colts – Can’t blame Flacco Joe for losing to the a formerly winless Jags team. The defense stunk it up.
  22. New York Jets – Adios Coach whatever your name was.
  23. Philadelphia Eagles – Red is certain that this week’s lowly ranking will stimulate the Eagles to better things.
  24. Pittsburgh Stealers – Maybe everyone is focused on the election?
  25. Los Angeles Rams – Taking top spot in the shitty teams section of this post.
  26. Cincinnati Bengals – Sometimes it just aint your year.
  27. Tennessee Titans – This team may not be as bad as Red suspects. But talk to Red after trips to Buffalo and Detroit.
  28. Cleveland Browns – Is Deshaun Watson the black Johnny Manziel?
  29. Jacksonville Jaguars – Sucking just a little bit less last week.
  30. Los Angeles Rams – You cannot believe how satisfying it is for Red to type “30” and then put the Rams next to it.
  31. Carolina Panthers – Red Rifle backfires.
  32. New England Patriots – Red has waited a long time for this.