Hillary Clinton Needs to Shut the F#(k Up

In a seemingly never-ending campaign to attribute her loss to Trump to everything but herself and her pathetic campaign that snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, Hillary continues to find new grist for the blame mill.  Red thinks it is beyond high time that Hillary rides off into the sunset as the closing credits scroll.  Either that or do something positive with the rest of your life – say like dignified elder statesman Jimmy Carter.  Instead, it has been a non-stop petulant whine fest.  The Democrats need to move on from this loser and from the Clintons – FOREVER.   But because it is unlikely that Hillary will neither go away mad or just go away, Red has some additional reasons for her next stop on the nation-wide excuse tour of the would be Madame President.

The ghost of Buddy peed on my debate prep papers.

Everyone told me Michigan and Wisconsin had seceded from the Union.

That Canadian bastard Justin Trudeau stole my thunder.

Not to mention that Stein bitch!

Bill’s peckerdillos blunted my brilliant jabs at Trump’s blatant sexual harassment problems.

Who knew Pennsylvania would be critical?

I really thought I would win Texas.

My best power pantsuit got lost at the dry cleaners.

Botox injections made my brain stiff instead.

Bernie,  Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie  . . .

Joe Biden is just too damn lovable.  We all pale by comparison.

Ran out of body bags.

Face it, the Democrats are just pathetic losers – I would have been a Republican but for Bill (and Nixon).

I decided to tank it just to spite Bill.  Plus I got great odds with my London bookie.

When the going gets tough, I get the flu.

For some unfathomable reason, many voters thought I was a cold, heartless, robotic, lying sack of shit.

Massive voter fraud – turns out the illegal aliens loved Trump.

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