Tag Archives: Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Needs to Shut the F#(k Up

In a seemingly never-ending campaign to attribute her loss to Trump to everything but herself and her pathetic campaign that snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, Hillary continues to find new grist for the blame mill.  Red thinks it is beyond high time that Hillary rides off into the sunset as the closing credits scroll.  Either that or do something positive with the rest of your life – say like dignified elder statesman Jimmy Carter.  Instead, it has been a non-stop petulant whine fest.  The Democrats need to move on from this loser and from the Clintons – FOREVER.   But because it is unlikely that Hillary will neither go away mad or just go away, Red has some additional reasons for her next stop on the nation-wide excuse tour of the would be Madame President.

The ghost of Buddy peed on my debate prep papers.

Everyone told me Michigan and Wisconsin had seceded from the Union.

That Canadian bastard Justin Trudeau stole my thunder.

Not to mention that Stein bitch!

Bill’s peckerdillos blunted my brilliant jabs at Trump’s blatant sexual harassment problems.

Who knew Pennsylvania would be critical?

I really thought I would win Texas.

My best power pantsuit got lost at the dry cleaners.

Botox injections made my brain stiff instead.

Bernie,  Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie  . . .

Joe Biden is just too damn lovable.  We all pale by comparison.

Ran out of body bags.

Face it, the Democrats are just pathetic losers – I would have been a Republican but for Bill (and Nixon).

I decided to tank it just to spite Bill.  Plus I got great odds with my London bookie.

When the going gets tough, I get the flu.

For some unfathomable reason, many voters thought I was a cold, heartless, robotic, lying sack of shit.

Massive voter fraud – turns out the illegal aliens loved Trump.

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Trump’s Broken Promises

In the first of what likely will be a long line of broken promises from the Trump administration, comes news that Mexico will not be paying for the “beautiful wall” after all.  Instead, Trump and his feckless Republican allies will rely on a previous authorization from the W. Bush era which provided for construction of a fence – not a wall.  The GOP will seek to add funding for the fence to an omnibus budget bill to lessen the chance of opposition.

Now as you know, Red fully supports the Trump/GOP agenda under the theory that America voted for these clowns and deserves to get the just desserts of its choice.  Which means that Red fully supports a beautiful wall  (not a fence) paid for by our good amigos in Mexico.  After all, what were the two most prominent items that DJ Trump kept promising over and over at his massive rallies?  It’s seems so long ago, but Red vaguely remembers that Hillary was going to prison and that Mexico was paying for the wall.  Remember “Lock her up!” and “Who’s going to pay for it?”  Guess what saps?  Hillary is going nowhere and you are paying for the wall.



Hillary to Advertise on TV in Texas

In a move not seen in almost 20 years, a Democratic candidate for President will be running TV ads in solidly Red Texas.  Texas viewers are typically limited to seeing national TV ads as neither Democrats nor Republicans viewed the state as needing their attention.  The limited one-week roll out in Texas will run a 30-second spot in the major media markets of Dallas, Houston, Austin and San Antonio. The actual size of the ad buy is not known.

The Clinton ad follows in the wake of Dallas Morning News editorial board’s endorsement of Clinton last month.  The very conservative DMN had not endorsed a Democratic presidential candidate in 75 years.  The Clinton ad plays off of the historical significance of the DMN endorsement and directly quotes the paper in criticizing Trump’s judgment and praising of Clinton’s bipartisan credentials.  “At this moment in time, for Texas and for America, Hillary for president,” a narrator concludes.

Red has to think this is money wasted by the Clinton campaign.  Trump is still going to win Texas no matter what he says or does.  Red could see spending the money if there were any competitive races in Texas that could help swing Congress to the Democratic side.  But neither Cornyn or “Lyin’ Ted” are up this cycle and other than the Will Hurd-Pete Gallego race in the 23rd District in West Texas, the Democrats have no chance to flip a Texas district thanks to extreme gerrymandering by the GOP controlled legislature.  So is this all for show, or is there something else going on?  Red for one would like to know.

Louie Gohmert Speaks to His Personal Expertise – Mental Impairment

Rep. Louie Gohmert (TP-Tyler) claims that Hillary Clinton is mentally impaired.

“A true believer does what Jesus did … you don’t make fun of people who are impaired, have special needs, and whether you like her or not, Hillary Clinton’s made clear, she is mentally impaired.”  Gohmert later commented that “Hillary’s brain is in a blender.”

Red has to defer to the Tea Party darling from east Texas on the subject of mental impairment since it has long been clear that Gohmert isn’t firing on all cylinders himself.  Gohmert is well-known for his idiotic statements.  What is incredible is that this guy was actually the Chief Justice of one of our Texas Courts of Appeals and was in a position to directly impact the lives of the people whose cases were before his court.  Gohmert wants to keep playing the clearly discredited – Hillary is brain damaged from a fall back in 2012 card – as though he actually had a medical diagnosis of Clinton.  Just the kind of excrement that typically flows from Gohmert’s mouth in an almost uncontrollable flow.

Here is a small sample of some of the stupidity that has come from Gohmert’s mouth.

Speaking of the Alaska pipeline Gohmert commented, “So when [caribou] want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline. … So my real concern now [is] if oil stops running through the pipeline … do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?”  Gohmert is apparently unaware that the Caribou survived for millennia without the benefit of flowing oil.

Talking about the Obama administration, Gohmert claimed, “This administration has so many Muslim Brotherhood members that have influence that they just are making wrong decisions for America.”  Unfortunately for Louie, he was unable to point to any actual MB members making policy in DC.



Hillary Claims She Can Win Texas

Politico reports that Hillary Clinton thinks that Texas is in play in the November general election.   According to  interview with Rebecca Traister of New York Magazine, Clinton has indicated that “If black and Latino voters come out and vote, we could win Texas.”

Here is a list of ten Texas things that Red thinks are more likely to happen than Hillary winning ultra-Red Texas in November:

  1. LBJ rises from the dead to reclaim control of the Democratic party.
  2. Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick wears make-up and dress -insists on using Ladies room.
  3. The Texas Supreme Court rules against an insurance company.
  4. Mary Lou Bruner commits herself to lunatic asylum.
  5. Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller gives up cupcakes – loses 75 lbs.
  6. Land Commissioner George P. Bush figures out that the laws apply to him too.
  7. The Rio Grande reverses course – flows backwards to Colorado.
  8. Trump builds wall – Mexico pays.
  9. Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) decides to not run for President in 2020.
  10. Brownsville freezes over.


Hillary’s Campaign Speaks – Red Translates

Red got this message from the Hillary Clinton campaign yesterday.  As always, Red translates so that you don’t have to.

It seems the Sanders campaign is finally seeing the writing on the wall (and it says Victory): Hillary has won more votes  AND more pledged delegates (if you include all the Democratic Party suck-ups disguised as so-called “Super-Delegates”) in this election — her lead in both is nearly insurmountable (nearly, but not actually).

So this morning, Bernie’s campaign manager claimed the convention could be an “open convention,” (the horror!!) and declared they’re going to try and flip delegates’ votes (the double horror!!), overturning the will of the voters (unless of course you are talking about the SD’s who don’t represent the will of anything except the Clinton machine).

Your vote is your voice (but really we all know money talks and that’s why you are getting this email and we are changing the font just in case), and the Sanders campaign (those Commies) shouldn’t be trying to circumvent the process (by attempting to win) — or the nearly 9 million (and counting) people who have made their voice heard for Hillary in this election (just ignore the voices of the millions who have voted for Bernie – they’ll eventually get hoarse and go away).

We need to head into our next contests stronger than ever (oops – Wisconsin) so that we can widen our delegate lead (twist more SD arms), widen our vote lead, and secure this nomination (wrap up more SD’s) long before we get to the convention (let’s leave that mess to the GOP)– can you chip(again “money talks” blah, blah, blah) in to help Hillary win key states like New York and Pennsylvania (really, she’s worried about New York?)? When you do, we’ll send you a free sticker (Red has always dreamed of having a free Hillary Thank You Sticker – it would complete him) to say thank you!