As long time readers know (and Red hopes they are both awake and not too terribly hung-over this morning), this part of the annual predictions is where Red always writes that it is “cowardly and spineless to pick the Patriots year after year” and then confirms his cowardice and utter lack of vertebral support by picking the Patriots anyway.
In fairness to Red, look at this division.
Patriots. Red has finally come to terms with the fact that Brady and Bellicheat long ago made a pact with the Dark Lord and while their souls may be damned for all eternity to the lake of fire at least they will both end up in the Hall of Fame – which may not be an altogether bad trade-off. Realistically, Red thinks this may be the season where Tom Brady finally looks tired and old and Bellicheat gets his playbook stolen by Russian hackers. Quit kidding yourself Red, you know you have no balls when it comes to this division. Save your foolishness for the NFC West. Who on the schedule can beat the Pats even on a bad hair day for Tom? Maybe the Chiefs, Raiders, Falcons and Stealers? “Maybe” being the operative word here. New England breezes to a 13-3 record. Red hates himself today.
Bills. This team hasn’t made the playoffs in 17 years – the longest active post-season drought in the NFL (yes – worse than Cleveland even). Do they deserve a second look in 2017? Anquan Boldin quit on them. Emphatically not! The misery continues in Orchard Park 6-10.
Dolphins. At least this team went 10-6 and with some help made the playoffs last year. But against the Pats, they were behind 31-3 in week 3 before rallying to lose by only 7 and then were blown out 35-14 in week 17. In the playoffs the Stealers pushed them aside like a Latvian President and that was it for the Fish. There is a void in the backfield. And to the rescue comes Jay Cutler? At least he has rising star Jay Ajayi to hand the ball to. Red holds out some hope for the Dolphins in 2017. He also still plays the lottery. Miami 8-8.
Jets. When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way, from your first losing bet, to your knees for to pray. When you’re a Jet, you lose the division. The Jets have been a reality TV show for the last several seasons – and a really bad reality TV show at that. What is going on with that franchise. Go to their official website – they don’t even have a depth chart posted! Maybe when your choices for starting quarterback are the appropriately named Christian Hackenberg and Bryce Petty it’s just as well to keep everyone in the dark. Jets 2-14.