Tag Archives: New York Jets

Red’s NFL Weekly Six Pack – Week 1

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Red will be back making his weekly picks with possibly some time off in October for vacation. Red promises to provide his sure-fire playoff picks in the next couple of weeks. But let’s get started with some fun and not a whole lot of analysis.

Your Early Game Pick of the Week For some unknown reason, the NFL kicks off on Wednesday with a replay of the Superb Owl LX when the Patriots travel west to face the Seahawks. Oh, who is Red kidding having a Wednesday night and Thursday night game is just another money grab for a league that has a back room employing poorly paid immigrants to shovel money in shifts 24 hours a day. Will the Pats be out to avenge their pathetic showing in February? Well, yes. But while revenge is a dish best served cold (pardon the aphorism), so is the Pats offense when facing a real team. And as always overcoming the reverse triple time zone hex while not as difficult as the regular triple time zone hex. Yes, the Seahawks have lost offensive whiz Klint Kubiak and Superb Owl MVP K. Walker but they still have one of the best defenses in the league. Seattle 24 New England 14.

Your Texas Team Pick of the Week – Meanwhile in Houston, the Texans have a chance to start the season on a very high note. CJ Stroud is a popular whipping boy right now. Josh Allen perhaps does not get the whipping he deserves for the failure to lead the Bills to the promised land. The Bills will have a good season but it gets off to a rough start when the Texans running game and defense dominate. Houston 21 Buffalo 13.

Your Blow-Out Pick of the Week – Look for the Lions to mop the field with the Saints on Sunday afternoon. The bad taste of last season is out of the Lions’ mouth. The Saints are trying to rebuild without much success. The Lions cover 7 rather handily. But as always Red’s prime caveat is do not bet the farm or even the front yard. Detroit 35 New Orleans 9.

Your Must Watch Pick of the Week – The Monday night matchup between the Chiefs and Broncos has Red really intrigued. Mahomes is back but pretty much without the wheels that fueled success early in his career. Kelce is not what he used to be now that he is a dedicated Swifty and the rest of the tools just really aren’t there. Andy will rely on a dink and dunk game with the only deep threat being X. Worthy. The Broncos still want to light it up and forget about sucking gas in the AFC Championship game with a third string quality QB at the helm. Look for Nix to have the better comeback in a very intriguing and entertaining game. Denver 31 Kansas City 27.

Your Ridiculous Road Game Pick of the Week – Every week where there is an NFL game on foreign soil Red will probably employ this category. And this week features what may be the most ridiculous NFL road game of all time when the 49ers and Rams face off in Melbourne. That is in Australia for the geographically challenged readers among you. And as far as Red can tell the only Australian this game will be the 49ers punter Mitch Wishnowsky. Although, Red has long been a fan of Australian Rules Football (although sad to see the referees in the white Fedoras are no longer a feature), Red now wishes that the NFL would continue to play games only in the Western hemisphere and leave football to the Australians as they like it. San Francisco 27, Los Angeles Rams 20.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – Some weeks it is a challenge to pick out a worthy matchup for the The Shit Bowl of the Week. Not this week when the Jets travel to Nashville to take on the Titans. Those who dare watch this game must put all sharp objects securely away, lest they be tempted to gouge out their eyes with a carrot peeler at half time. Don’t say Red didn’t warn you. But the rules of this exercise require Red to pick a “winner.” As previously noted, Red thinks the Titans are somewhat improved this season and this is a must win game for them to show that. Tennessee 11, New York Jets 9.

Red out.

Red 2026 NFL Picks – AFC East

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Red’s 2026 NFL Picks –  AFC East

Red marches on to the American Football Conference – not to be confused with Lake America or the Gulf of America or any other stupidity coming out of the White House. 

Buffalo –   The Bills (who play in Orchard Park) have been a reasonably safe bet to make the playoffs for many years now.  Winning 12 games last season despite a depleted receiving corps, a lackluster defense and some turmoil at the top.  But they now have a Brady (a Joe Brady) at the helm and a new DC and a new stadium to boot.   Josh Allen is still the man until proven otherwise.  DJ Moore will help as WR.  The defense is definitely shored up with new defense backs, an edge rusher and linebacker.  On the downside, the Bills do have to play their fellow second place brethren (Rams and Texans) on the road and have relatively tough matchups playing the NFC North and less so with the AFC West.  The first game in Houston may tell a lot about how the season goes.  Fortunately for the Bills it looks like this may be the easiest division in the NFL to win in 2026.  Bills take the crown with a mediocre 10-7 record.

New England – The most overperforming team (other than the Bears) last season overperformed their way into about the most pathetic Superb Owl performance since the Vikings sad run in the olden days.  Only a late TD kept it from being a total wipeout.  Drake Maye looked overmatched and outwitted in throwing 2 INTs and being sacked 6 times.  The Pats face a much tougher road back to the playoffs this season.  In 2025, the Pats beat exactly one count ‘em one team with a winning record.  And that team – Buffalo – avenged the early season loss in week 14.  Beating the hapless Chargers, perennial second-round loser Texans and the depleted Broncos in the playoffs only led to humiliation in Santa Clara.  This season the Pats will play ten games against teams that have real playoff potential.  Of course there are 2 games against the Bills, but they also face the Stealers, Jaguars, Bears, Packers, Lions, Chiefs and Broncos.  Red calls it 9-8 for the Pats and a very narrow path to a wildcard at best.

New York  – Meet the Jets, greet the Jets, step right up and beat the Jets.  It’s 1973 and Red’s big brother Johnny “Rag Arm” Serruto is singing this at breakfast and it still holds true today.  Red really likes Geno Smith but he did lead the league in interceptions last season and has the distinct disadvantage of playing in New Jersey.  Jets are a run of the mill 8-9.

Miami  – “I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”  H. Simpson.  Red just has to quote Homer every year at some point.  Why not get it out of the way early on? It’s true that the Dophins (who do not play in Miami proper)  look like a basket case and will be lucky to eke out a 5-12 record.

Red’s 2018 NFL Predictions – AFC East

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New England Patriots  –  This is where every year Red writes that it is spineless and weak to continue to pick the Patriots but that he will continue to do so until proven wrong.  Red has yet to be proven wrong.  Pats are a bit down but still finish atop a weak division even with a relatively weak schedule.  Red is looking forward to week 15 matchup with Stealers.  New England sits at 11-5

Buffalo Bills  – Red kind of likes Josh Allen who seems to have a bit of Carson Wentz – QB out of nowhere feel to him and will not be surprised if he moves in to the lineup at some point.  Sorry all you AJ McCarron fans out there – both of you.  It’s just too bad there is so little else to like about this team.   There is a good secondary on defense, but lack of offensive weapons is very troublesome.  Buffalo (Orchard Park) is 8-8 material

Miami Dolphins –  Red swears there are rumor that there is still an NFL team in the greater Miami region.  Beyond that Red is clueless.  Miami at 6-10.

New York Jets –  Meet the Jets, Greet the Jets, Step right up and beat the Jets.  Red still remembers an older fraternity brother singing that one at breakfast one bright shining morning.  Funny what you remember.  Funny what is still true.    Led by tired old Josh McCown (Sam Houston State for the Texas reference), the Jets are likely to be featured in at least half a dozen Shit Bowls this year.  Jets are 3-13.

Red’s NFL Picks – AFC East

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Ah, the NFC East – also known as the “uncontested lay-up” division for all pundits.

Patriots. As long time readers know (and Red hopes they are both awake and not hungover this morning), this is where Red always writes that it is “cowardly and spineless to pick the Patriots year after year” and then confirms his cowardice and utter lack of vertebral support by picking the Patriots anyway. In fairness to Red, look at the rest of this division – details to follow below.   Red has finally come to terms with the fact that Brady and Bellicheat long ago made a pact with the Dark Lord and while their souls may be damned for all eternity at least they will both end up in the Hall of Fame. Realistically, Red thinks this may be the season where Tom Brady finally looks tired and old and Bellicheat gets his playbook stolen by Russian hackers.  That coupled with a brutal stretch after the Week 9 bye; from November 12 to December 17 the Pats play 5 of 6 games on the road against real competition (Broncos, Raiders, Dolphins and Stealers).  Oh, for crying out loud. Quit kidding yourself Red, you know you have no balls when it comes to this division.  Save your foolishness for the NFC West. Who on the schedule can beat the Pats even on a bad day?  Maybe the Chiefs, Raiders, Broncos, Falcons and Stealers? Certainly not the Texans as long as Tom Brady is in the house.   New England breezes to another divisional crown with a 12-4 record.  Red really hates himself today.

Bills.  The Bills have not made the playoffs in 17 years – the longest active post-season drought in the NFL (yes – worse than Cleveland even).  Red sees no reason that streak ends anytime soon.  Yes, the inevitably flawed “Rex Ryan as a head coach” experiment ended up with broken glass on the floor and poisonous gasses filling the laboratory/locker room.  Trump supporter Ryan failed in his promise to make Bills’ fans “tired of winning.”  New coach Sean McDermott will at least not be flaunting absurd predictions  of success.  Rather, the Bills seem to be building an offense suited to the limited repertoire of QB Tyrod Taylor.  Coordinator Rick Dennison is implementing a version of the vaunted “West Coast Offense” with short routes mixed with long bombs and quick decisions.   If Sammy Watkins can stay on the field, he leads a corps of competent wideouts.  And then there is the redoubtable LeSean McCoy.  Red isn’t about to guess what to make of his 2017 season.  On the defensive side, out is the Ryan family’s complicated 3-4 scheme and back in with a traditional 4-3.  The Bills seem headed in the right direction after years of aimless wandering, but that probably only translates to a less than awful season.  Orchard Park is reasonably happy with an 8-8 campaign.

Dolphins.  The Dolphins at least went 10-6 and made the playoffs last year. But against the Pats, they were behind 31-3 in week 3 before rallying to lose by only 7 and then were blown out 35-14 in week 17.  In the playoffs the Stealers pushed them aside like a Latvian President and that was it for the aquatic mammals.  The Dolphins cupboard is not bare with up and coming talent like Jay Ajayi and others.  But when your season depends on Jay Cutler . . .  [insert bad thing happening here].  Miami regresses to 7-9.

Jets. The Jets have been a reality TV show for the last several seasons – and a really bad reality TV show at that.  Of course, when the White House is pretty much a reality TV show, maybe Red is on the wrong side of this issue.  Probably not, but Red is an open-minded sort of guy.  But the Jets! What is going on with this franchise? When Red went to the Jets  official website – they did not have a depth chart posted!  Maybe when your choices for starting quarterback include the appropriately named Christian Hackenberg and Bryce Petty it’s just as well to keep everyone in the dark.  What is going on is a massive roster dump to get the first draft pick next season – thought to be USC quarterback Sam Darnold. Every season Red’s fondest wish is for a 6-10 team to make the playoffs.  His runner-up wish is for a team to go winless.  The Jets love Red this season –  0-16 Baby!

Red’s 2017 NFL Picks – AFC East

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As long time readers know (and Red hopes they are both awake and not too terribly hung-over this morning), this part of the annual predictions is where Red always writes that it is “cowardly and spineless to pick the Patriots year after year” and then confirms his cowardice and utter lack of vertebral support by picking the Patriots anyway.

In fairness to Red, look at this division.

Patriots. Red has finally come to terms with the fact that Brady and Bellicheat long ago made a pact with the Dark Lord and while their souls may be damned for all eternity to the lake of fire at least they will both end up in the Hall of Fame – which may not be an altogether bad trade-off. Realistically, Red thinks this may be the season where Tom Brady finally looks tired and old and Bellicheat gets his playbook stolen by Russian hackers.  Quit kidding yourself Red, you know you have no balls when it comes to this division.  Save your foolishness for the NFC West. Who on the schedule can beat the Pats even on a bad hair day for Tom?  Maybe the Chiefs, Raiders, Falcons and Stealers?  “Maybe” being the operative word here.  New England breezes to a 13-3 record.  Red hates himself today.

Bills.  This team hasn’t made the playoffs in 17 years – the longest active post-season drought in the NFL (yes – worse than Cleveland even). Do they deserve a second look in 2017?  Anquan Boldin quit on them. Emphatically not! The misery continues in Orchard Park 6-10.

Dolphins. At least this team went 10-6 and with some help made the playoffs last year. But against the Pats, they were behind 31-3 in week 3 before rallying to lose by only 7 and then were blown out 35-14 in week 17.  In the playoffs the Stealers pushed them aside like a Latvian President and that was it for the Fish.  There is a void in the backfield. And to the rescue comes Jay Cutler? At least he has rising star Jay Ajayi to hand the ball to.   Red holds out some hope for the Dolphins in 2017.  He also still plays the lottery.  Miami 8-8.

Jets.  When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way, from your first losing bet, to your knees for to pray. When you’re a Jet, you lose the division.  The Jets have been a reality TV show for the last several seasons – and a really bad reality TV show at that.  What is going on with that franchise.  Go to their official website – they don’t even have a depth chart posted!  Maybe when your choices for starting quarterback are the appropriately named Christian Hackenberg and Bryce Petty it’s just as well to keep everyone in the dark. Jets 2-14.