Tag Archives: NFL Picks

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 15

Well, Sports Fans –  now it’s getting exciting.  With only the Eagles and Stealers having clinched divisional titles – all the other playoff spots are up for grabs among a select few teams.  And even the Eagles and Stealers have to worry about home field advantage.  Somehow the 10-3 Patriots have not yet clinched even a Wildcard slot – so anything can happen – but it won’t.

With only 3 more weeks left, Red himself has clinched at least a season tie.  For Week 14 Red was 3-3 which totals up to 51-33 for the year and unless Red’s math is totally off he is 18 to the good and could go 0-6 for 3 weeks and still come out even.  Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.  And Red has not taken his usual bye week this season.  That may yet happen as well over the holidays.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  Walter Payton and his fellow student at Jackson State, Mary Jones, came in second place in the 1973 Soul Train National Championship Dance Off.

This Week’s Trivia: When was the first Christmas Day NFL game played?

Your Merry Pick of the Week:  Stealers over Patriots.  Not a surprise to anyone that this is your NFL GAME OF THE WEEK.  As noted, Stealers have clinched the AFC North and the Pats are yet to punch their ticket.  Stealers want home field in what would seem to be an almost inevitable preview of the AFC title game (although the Jaguars may have something to say about that).  Stealers know that the road through Foxboro ends in the trash heap of broken dreams. They pull out all stops to win this one.  Red likes the over even at a hefty 53.5 – unless the weather turns bad, then duck and cover.  Pittsburgh 29 New England 28. 

Your Ho Ho Ho Pick of the Week: Raiders over Cowboys.  Two teams that desperately need a win.  That usually favors the home team.  If the Raiders had the balls to make the Cowboys wear blue I would go whole hog for them, but unfortunately Red does not have such inside information.  Young D. Carr needs to have the kind of game he showed two years ago and it would be nice if the Beast (Red’s biggest fantasy bust this season who wasn’t actually carried off the field in a basket) would churn out a couple of decent games to end his career.  Maybe just maybe.  Red likes the Raiders getting 3 points.   Oakland 24 Arlington 20.

Your Let it Snow Pick of the Week: Rams over Seahawks. Or in this case, Let it Drizzle, Let it Drizzle, Let it Drizzle.  Red missed the likely snow game of the season last week in Orchard Park – and everyone knows how much Red loves a good blizzard game.  Unfortunately there appears to be no prospects for a repeat this week.  So Red will have to go with the next best thing – which aint very good at all.  Red still likes Rams despite some signs of crackage.  Meanwhile,  up north giant chasms are opening on the Seahawks side of the ball.  Perhaps Pete the Cheat can will his team through a critical last season divisional match up.  Red thinks Pete’s deal with Satan is running on fumes at this point.   This isn’t quite winner take all in the NFC West, but it’s pretty damn close.  As will be the score – so Red wisely takes a pass on this one.   Los Angeles 24 Seattle 20.  

Your Bowlful of Jelly Pick of the Week:  Panthers over Packers.  Red somehow keeps forgetting that the Panthers are what is known as a “Pretty Damn Good Football Team.”  Panthers have been relatively lucky on the injury front.  The same cannot be said for the Packers – but if A-Rodg is really back this week, then anything can happen.  Red still likes the Panthers to cover 3 at home.  Carolina 24 Green Bay 20.

Your Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer Pick of the Week: Eagles over Giants.  Eagles certainly feel like they got sideswiped by an ungulate this week what all with likely All-Pro Carson Wentz getting bounced for the season.  The redoubtable Nick Foles is back in town and perhaps he can recapture the magic of 2014 when he was damn near unstoppable as a third stringer coming in to save the season.  More likely he is Tom Savage on steroids – meaning average enough to carry the Eagles into a competitive chance at winning one playoff game.  Fortunately, he gets to work out the kinks against the hapless Giants.  Look for this one to be close and the Giants probably cover 7.5 spread if you can get that.  Philadelphia 24 New Jersey 20.

Your Bundle of Sticks and Lump of Coal Pick of the Week:  Cards over OTNAs.  It’s actually hard to find a true Shit Bowl contender this week as almost every other game includes at least one team with a playoff shot – however remote.  So Red will dispense with his usual warning to stay away from the string of Christmas lights and mistletoe lest ye be tempted to string yourself up or mix up a deadly eggnog and mistletoe cocktail in the third quarter of this crude crap contest.  Red thinks the over at 41.5 might be worth a look if you are truly desperate for some Christmas cash.   Arizona 24, Landover, MD 20

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Red’s NFL Picks – Week 14

Only 4 more weeks of the regular season grind for Red.  It may not look like it, but more than a bit of thought goes into doing this every week.  For Week 13 Red was 5-1 and is 48-30 for the year – setting him up for a possible all time regular season record.  On the money line, Red stunk it up – so the rule is layoff the bets this week.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  The Lions and Giants combined for a net total of zero points on November 7, 1943 in a game played before 16,992 at Detroit’s Briggs Stadium. The teams generated a total of 214 yards and missed 4 field goals.

This Week’s Trivia: What other non-football award did NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton almost win?

Your Soulful Pick of the Week: Falcons over Saints –  Falcons could muster all of 3 field goals against a game Vikings defense last week – after averaging 28 points per game in November.  Is it time for a December swoon?  If so, then give the division to the Saints on a silver platter.  Meanwhile, the Saints are good for 30 points a game just about every time out.  If Falcons eke out a win, they are still in striking distance and in the thick of the playoff hunt.   Atlanta 31 New Orleans 30.

Your Do the Hustle Pick of the Week: Jaguars over Seahawks – Red likes picking against the Seahawks led by Pete the Cheat.  It hasn’t worked out very well for Red as yet, but he keeps trying.  The Jags have the top ranked scoring defense in the league and Seattle is very respectable in averaging almost 25 ppg so far.  They haven’t faced a defense like the Jags yet.  Jags need win to keep pace with Titans who have slightly more difficult schedule.  AFC South is probably going to come down to the Jags/Titans matchup in Week 17.  Red is looking forward to that one.   Jacksonsville 20 Seattle 17

Your Footloose Pick of the Week:  Raiders over Chiefs –  Chief are in free fall since the Raiders beat them 31-30 in Week 6.  Other than that game, Raiders have not beaten a good team all season.  Chiefs are not a good team anymore.  Red likes the repeat here. Oakland 31 KC 30

Your Motown Pick of the Week: Buccaneers over Lions – Lions could have been somebody, they could have been a contender – instead of a bum which is what they are.  Bucs had pretensions but are also pretenders at this point.  Red’s gotta pick someone to win.  Oh well.  Tampa Bay 23 Detroit 20

Your Hollywood Pick of the Week: Eagles over Rams  – Your NFL Game of the Week has the 10-2 Eagles taking on the Resurgent Rams.  Eagles clinch NFC East with win.  Rams could put some distance between themselves and S’hawks with win and S’Hawks loss.  This is the showdown of the season between the top two hot young quarterbacks in Wentz and Goff.  Red thinks this might just be a preview of the NFC title game.  This will be fun.  Philadelphia 33 Los Angeles 25

Your Dirty Dancing Pick of the Week: Texans over 49ers – The Texans have sunk to Shit Bowl status with yet another last minute drive to win floundering near the goal line.  Tom “the Turnover Machine” Savage has looked better of late and will probably land a back up job somewhere next season.  The Texans were essentially down to DeAndre Hopkins and some guy who had caught one pass at wide receiver on Sunday and Savage still kept completing passes.  Back in California, Jimmy Garapolo finally got a start and looked decent in beating the barely there Bears.  Red anticipates at least 25,000 loyal fans will show up at NRG for this one.  Red won’t be among them.  So turn off the big 72 incher after the CBS Sunday Morning show lest ye be tempted to empty your 38 Special into the plasma in the third quarter of this beastly bowel battle.  Houston 20 Santa Clara 19

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 13

Red was a mediocre 3-3 on the straight match-ups last week and is holding his own at 43-29 for the season.  The money line was tough on ol’ Red as he went 2-4 with his bookie.

Answer to last week’s trivia:  From 1923 to 2013, the Packers and Lions have played 22 games on Thanksgiving Day.

This week’s trivia: When was the last scoreless NFL game played and which teams managed to score zero points?

Your Nada Game of the Week: Vikings over Falcons.    Case Keenum could have been a Texan!  In fact he was a Texan – twice and managed to win two games coming in out of the cold to end the season in 2014. And the Texans did not even give him a second look in 2015.  Okay he was bad with the Rams in 2016, but who wasn’t?  Given a chance in Minnesota (because Sam Bradford is a particularly delicate flower – no knock on Sam but that’s the way it is), CK has flourished with 14 TDs, 5 INTs and a 96.7 QB rating.  And meanwhile in Texas, Tom “the Turnover Machine” Savage is playing out the skein with the Texans.  Oh, what could have been.  This week is a big challenge for the Vikings but they look up to it.  Given the firepower of these two offenses, Red likes the over at 47.5. Minnesota 30 Atlanta 27.

Your Zilch Game of the Week: Titans over Texans.  Despite having been clobbered (and that is putting it mildly) by the Texans in Week 4, Red will take the “improved” Titans giving up 7 to the floundering Texans.  Hopefully, Mrs. Red has something planned for Sunday so that Red doesn’t have to watch another whipping.  Tennessee 24 Houston 9.

Your Zero Game of the Week: Eagles over Seahawks.  Red thinks the Eagles walk over the depleted Seahawks and will gladly give up 5 points to any eager Seahawks fan. Eagles overcome the reverse triple time zone, hipster adjustment factor hex and continue their march to a No. 1 playoff seeding in the NFC.  Another loss for Seattle and they still will not be in danger of falling out of playoff contention – mostly because the Panthers or Falcons must lose this week.  Heck, even the Cowboys-OTNAs winner this week will be within striking distance in the NFC.  The Eagles only problem may be clinching the NFC East too soon and relaxing a bit.  Which – all-in-all is not a bad problem to have.   Philadelphia 35 Seattle 21.

Your Zip Game of the Week:  Patriots over Bills.  Why not?  Red has sort of avoided the Pats this season because it just isn’t much fun picking them to win and picking them to lose is – well, usually a losing proposition.  But every team deserves a gander from Red during the season.  Pats top rated offense looks unstoppable right now.  Nothing short of divine intervention would keep them out of the AFC title game but for their pathetic defense.  But this is the era of offense.  Take the over at a hefty 49 – unless the weather looks iffy – then take the under.  New England 31 Buffalo 20.

Your Skunked Game of the Week: Dolphins over Broncos.  A well deserved spot in this week’s Shit Bowl for two failing franchises.  Sometimes there is just no point in analyzing these things.  So Red will simply give the usual warning to hide the Drano, Windex, Tidy-Bowl and Comet lest ye be tempted to mix up a deadly Tequila and house cleaner cocktail at halftime of this doleful dung duel.  That said, Red likes the under even at a lowly 38.5.  Beat that!  Miami 14 Denver 9.

Your Big 0 Game of the Week:  Ravens over Lions.  There is a huuuge difference between 7-5 and 6-6 entering December.  The team that wins this one has a real potential playoff path.  The loser has to count on a lot going wrong for other teams.  Nobody is scoring much on the Ravens right now, so Red likes the under at 40.  Baltimore 17 Detroit 14.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 12

Red was 4-2 on the straight up picks.  Red is now a very respectable 40-26 over 11 weeks of the season.  On the money line – let’s just say it was a bad week.  Red’s only winner was taking the Falcons and the points.

Answer to Last Weeks Trivia: On September 21, 1951, Norm Van Brocklin of the LA Rams threw for 554 yards against the New York Titans.

This Weeks Trivia Question:  Which 2 teams have the longest Thanksgiving Day rivalry?

Your Oyster Stuffing Pick of the Week: Chargers over Cowboys.  You can’t quite put a fork in the Cowboys – but you can prod them with your instant read thermometer (highly recommended when you are smoking a Turkey ala Red). Chargers would be in the thick of it having gone 4-2 over the last 6 games.  But then there was that stretch where they lost games to Broncos, Dolphins and Eagles that were all but won.  Their 54 point smack down of the fading Bills last week let everyone know that the Chargers’ offense is back.  Speaking of fading – there is the Dallas defense which (w/o Sean Lee) seems incapable of stopping anything short of a high school team.   The Eagles scored at will in the second half on Sunday in what must have been a richly deserved humiliation for J. Jones and crew.  Chargers score at will until they get tired of winning.  Take the over at 48 if you think the Cowboys can muster two field goals – Red isn’t so sure that they can.  Los Angeles 48 Arlington 10.

Your Cranberry Relish Pick of the Week: Vikings over Lions.  All over Houston, UH fans are saying “I told you so.”  Nothing is more offensive to Red’s ears than happy UH fans.  Nonetheless, Red must give CK his props.  Will the magic continue this week?  This could be your NFL GAME OF THE WEEK.  Vikings are giving up 3.  Take it.  Minnesota 29 Detroit 24.

Your Pecan Pie Pick of the Week: Texans over Ravens –  Texans showed signs of the Savage Life in last week’s win over the hapless and hospitalized Cards.  Tom is not Terrific but neither is he Terrible.  He is a mediocre back up QB on a mediocre team whose defense has been crippled by loss of Watt, Mercilus and Cushing.  Ravens have skunked two bad offenses so far this season (Dolphins and Rodgersless Packers).  Texans have to put points on board early.  They have enough speed and Savage has enough arm to put up some big plays if only there would be time to throw deep.  There won’t be.  Texans are getting 7.5 and that looks tempting but Red is taking the Over at 38.  Houston 21 Baltimore 20.

Your Candied Yams Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Bills.  Two fading teams face off in a lackluster matchup.  Red is almost too bored to pick this game.  He is too bored to say anything more about it.  Chiefs giving up 10 at home looks tempting against a completely lost Bills squad.  KC 35 Orchard Park, NY 14.

Your Gravy Pick of the Week:  Rams over Saints –  Red happened to be in the Crescent City last Sunday and seriously thought about attending the game but he already had enough football watching Tulane push around UH on Saturday despite being slower smaller and more intelligent.  On Sunday, Red estimates that more than half of New Orleans residents out on the street or in a bar watching the game were either wearing Saints gear or dressed in black and gold (e.g. black top and leggings and gold lame miniskirt).  Saints’ fans are passionate about their team in a way that is probably unmatched outside of Wisconsin, Seattle and Pittsburgh.  Saints were all but left for dead last Sunday (see below) and somehow managed to win.  They are either the team of destiny in the NFC (the Eagles may have something to say about that) or they have peaked too early.  It’s hard to say.  On the other had, the Rams are coming off of their worst game of the season  after getting smoked by C. Keenum and Co. in the frozen hinterlands.  The Rams have bounced back from every loss this season – but this one requires a helluva bounce.  Red is counting on the double reverse time zone inverse humidity index hex in this one.  The Rams are getting 2.5 at home.  That’s not enough for a betting man! And the O/U is a hefty 53.  If Red were forced to bet he might take over.  Rams 30 Saints 27.

Your Turkey Pick of the Week:  Giants over OTNAs – OTNAS are reeling from last week’s OT loss to the Saints in a game that (with about 4 minutes left) they had a 99.6% statistical chance of winning.  K. Cousins and crew had a look of utter disbelief that they had blown this game and a chance to get a leg up on NFC Wildcard rivals.  Teams either bounce back from such ignominious defeats or the fold up like a pup tent.  This week will show what the OTNAs are made of – and its cheap canvas.  The Giants aren’t nearly as bad as their record shows – but they are bad enough to secure this game as the week’s Shit Bowl.  But an entertaining Shit Bowl that might even rouse Red from his dopamine drowsiness on Thursday night just in time to watch the Giants rally and defeat the OTNAs in OT.  Nonetheless, prudence requires Red to warn all to keep that turkey leg and carving knife locked up lest ye be tempted to carve the leg into a shiv and plunge it into your femoral artery sometime before half time of this doleful doo-doo doubling.  Red (and he can’t believe he is saying this) likes the over at 44.5.   New Jersey 26 Landover, MD 20.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 11

Hoo-hah.  Red rolled a strike last week going 6-0 on the straight up picks.  That brings your peerless prognosticator to 36-24 for the season.  Against the money line it was more like Ho-hum as Red went 3-3

Vikings -3  – paid $

Texans +11 – bust

Titans/Bengals over – paid $

Niners/Giants under – bust

Stealers -10 – bust

Panthers/Dolphins over – paid $

Answer to last week’s trivia:  Joe Gibbs won 17 playoff games in 16 seasons.

This week’s trivia:  Which NFL quarterback holds the record for most passing yards in a single game?

Your Flying Dutchman Pick of the Week:  Raiders over Patriots.  This is Red relying purely on the triple reverse time zone, inverse longitudinal shift, head-trip whack job all-in hex.  Everything else favors the Pats.  But Red dances with the one who brung him.  It’s a risky move and you are warned to not try this at home but Red is inclined to take the Raiders plus 7 playing at home against the Patriot Juggernaut.  Oakland 28 New England 27.

Your LA Rams Pick of the Week: Vikings over Rams.  The Rams could do no wrong last Sunday.  Of course, they were playing the hapless, rudderless, hopeless Texans. And the Rams have been playing pretty heady ball with the Goff and Gurley Show (sounds like a crack British comedy team) putting up an eye-opening 33 points per game and a better than expected defense  under the redoubtable Wade Phillips.  The Vikings, as said before, are doing it with smoke, mirrors and Case Keenum – but they are doing it.  Can we now admit that it was a mistake for the Texans to let CK go?  Red really likes the over at 46 here.  Minnesota 35 Los Angeles 30. .

Your Big Yards Pick of the Week: Eagles over Cowboys.  You can’t quite stick a fork in the Cowboys just yet, but you can prod them with your instant-read thermometer a little bit.  A win here solidifies the Eagles as the team to beat in the NFC.  Meanwhile, the Cowboys December swoon has apparently started early this year.  Without their designated girl-beater in tow, Red is again resurrecting the Red Rule – which as longtime  readers know is — Drum Roll — SCORE 13 POINTS AND BEAT THE COWBOYS! Red likes the Eagles to cover the 48.5 O/U all by their lonesome.  Philadelphia 50 Arlington 10.

Your Slinging Pick of the Week:  Titans over Stealers.  Red is sticking with his team of destiny in the AFC.  Nuff said.  Well not quite enough.  Since getting rolled and smoked by Deshaun Watson, the Titans are 4-1 having beat a plethora of bad teams and losing to the Dolphins.  This is the real playoff stretch drive test for the Titans. Beat the Stealers in Week 11 to go 7-3 and the playoffs are within your grasp with four patsies up next before ending the season at home with the Rams and a possible division deciding game against the Jaguars.   Take the Titans and 7.  Tennessee 23 Pittsburgh 17.

Your On a Wing and a Prayer Pick of the Week:  Falcons over Seahawks.  Losing Richard Sherman the week before playing the Falcons is very much like the proverbial taking of a knife to a gun fight.  Falcons are riding high after demolishing the Cowboys on Sunday.  The Seahawks will not be demolished but they may very well lose.  Here is the telling stat for the Seahawks – Russell Wilson is their leading rusher with 290 yards.   Red will go with the Falcons getting 3 on the road.  Atlanta 21 Seattle 20.

Your Weird Throwing Motion Pick of the WeekTexans over Cards.  Simply put, someone has to win this week’s Shit Bowl.  The only good thing to come out of this season for Texans fans may be the overdue exit of Bill O’ the Clown as head coach.  Not sure if anything good is going to happen as a result of the Cards sucking gas.  Speaking of sucking gas, make sure all the gas outlets are secured, the valve at the meter is closed and all hand tools are safely out of reach, lest ye be tempted to stick your head in the oven after Tom Savage is sacked for the 7th time – in the first half if this turgid turd tussle.  The over/under is 43.5.  Are these guys paying the slightest bit of attention to the exact degree of suckitude that these two offenses are displaying right now?  Take the under.  Houston 13 Arizona 10.

 

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 10

Last week Red was off – way off – going 1-5 on the straight up picks.  He is now 30-24 for the season and definitely trending in the wrong direction.  That ends this week and Red is back on making some money line picks after checking his bank statement this week.  Take that however you will.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia:  The Pittsburgh Stealers won their 450th game since the 1970 merger on Sunday.  That puts them at the top of the total wins column by a decent margin.

This Week’s Trivia:  What NFL coach has the best playoff win to seasons coached ratio over the course of a more than 10 year career?

Your Hey Joe Pick of the Week: Rams over Texans.  Red got to witness the white hot fire that is Tom Savage in person last week.  In fairness to Tom, the Texans receivers couldn’t find an opening with a compass and when TS dropped back he had about 2.5 seconds of peace before all holy hell was at his doorstep.  That and a lot of rust – a lot of rust, doomed the Texans against a limp-dicked Colts squad.  Meanwhile on the West Coast, the Rams are real team – at least for the present.  Will they be able to manage that transition from the doormat/also-ran afterthought they have been for more than a decade to a playoff contender piquing real interest?  It is a hard transition when people start to expect you to win.  And a win this week is expected.  For that reason, Red likes the Texans + 11.  Los Angeles 24 Houston 20.

Your NASCAR Pick of the Week: Panthers over Dolphins.  Why is it so easy to forget that the Panthers are 6-3 and in the thick of it for the playoffs? Not to mention in the running for the best record in the NFC should the Eagles stumble down the stretch?  Why is it so easy to forget that the Dolphins have an offense?  Well it might have something to do with their dead-last point output of 14.5 per game.  Defense and special teams play has bailed them out so far and with a 4-4 record they are in the playoff hunt – well they’re sniffing the butts of the horses that the teams that are in the playoff hunt are riding. Hey, but that’s something!  This is a matchup of one excellent defense (Panthers) and pretty good defense (Dolphins) and thus, we have a troubling 39.5 O/U.  When expectations are that low, Red goes high – take the over and sit in your sweat lodge.  Carolina 28 Miami 14.

Your OTNAs Pick of the Week: Vikings over OTNA’s.  The good news for the OTNA’s is that they have beaten the Rams, Raiders, Niners and Seahawks.  The bad news is the only West Coast team left on the schedule is the Chargers.  Well that and that they don’t have to play the Eagles again.  The Vikings are doing it with smoke, mirrors and Case Keenum.  CK has been the leading passing in the Vikings games for the last six weeks.  Either he is tearing it up or the Vikes defense is giving holy hell to other team’s quarterback.  That streak may end this week with Kirk Cousins at the helm.  Red still likes the Vikings giving up 3 on the road.  Minnesota 31 Landover, MD 27.

Your Winning Pick of the Week: Stealers over Colts.  Colts had their game of the season last week – that is if you can call beating the hopelessly crippled Texans an achievement.  Stealers are for real – they are always for real it seems.  Take the Stealers giving up 10.  But don’t take it too far.  Pittsburgh 35 Indianapolis 13.

Your Playoff Drive Pick of the Week: Titans over Bengals.  Titans are definitely not living up to Red’s lofty expectations so far – but a 7-1 record down the stretch is not far fetched given the Titans remaining schedule.  Yes, they have to  play the Stealers and Rams but other than that it is games in the division and against the Niners and Cards.  They are still Red’s team of destiny.  The Bengals are on fast track to Nowheresville – which actually has some decent restaurants according to Yelp!  Red likes the over at 41 here.  Tennessee 29 Cincinnati 20

Your Flaming Turd Pick of the Week: 49ers over Giants.  One thing is clear, Eli Manning should have quit while he was behind.  His reasonably decent legacy is being tarnished by the ugliness of the current season.  Eli’s numbers are not awful but his team is.  Meanwhile in San Francisco – Red is convinced that if he keeps picking the Niners every week they will eventually win.  It isn’t working so far.  Take the under at 42 when these two old worn out used up warhorses meet.  Oh, and if you hadn’t guessed this one just might qualify for Shit Bowl of the Year.  So put away the drain cleaner just in case you are tempted to spike your bloody maria with a little Drano during the second quarter of this beastly bowel battle. Santa Clara 13 New Jersey 12.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 9

Red was 3-3 last week and stands at 29-19 for the season.  Red laid off the money line last week and will do that again this week.

Answer to Last Week’s Trivia.  The last time no NFL games were on TV was Sunday November 24, 1963.  All the games were played that week.  However, all of the networks were carrying wall to wall coverage of the assassination of Pres. Kennedy and its aftermath.  Commissioner Pete Rozelle called the decision to play games that Sunday the worst mistake of his career.

This Week’s Trivia Question:  Since the merger in 1970, which NFL team has won the most regular season and playoff games?

Your Winning Percentage Pick of the Week: Bills over Jets.  The Bills continue to surprise everyone – especially Red.  A bold move this week in picking up Kelvin Benjamin to shore up a weak WR corps shows that the Bills mean business about winning this season.  Bills will continue to win if ground game stays alive and passing game comes alive – even with a sad sack defense.  Jets, Shcmets.  Orchard Park 23 New Jersey 14.

Your Merger Pick of the Week: Falcons over Panthers.  The two biggest disappointments in the league match up here.  Ennui reigns.  Atlanta 13 Carolina 12.

Your Old AFL Team Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Cowboys.  A nice matchup of two teams that both used to play in Dallas.  Chiefs had enough sense to move far far away from Big D.  Will Ezekiel E. play?  Cowboys have yet to beat a good team with wins over Cards, Giants, Redskins and Niners.  Chiefs already have quality wins over Pats, Eagles and Texans (sort of).  Take the team that can beat a good team.  KC 35 Arlington 24

Your League Switching Pick of the Week: Texans over Colts.  If they can’t beat the Colts, the Texans need to pack it in and let the World Series Champion Houston Astros have all of the limelight.  Houston 45 Indianapolis 12

Your Old NFL Team Pick of the Week: Eagles over Broncos.  Eagles are Red’s team of destiny.  Broncos are reduced to starting Brock Osweiler.  Red actually expects BO to play decently, but not decently enough to overtake the red hot Eagles.  Philadelphia 32 Denver 25

Your Merge This Out Pick of the Week: Niners over Cardinals.  This week’s Shit Bowl is especially stinky with the crippled Cards taking on the hapless Niners.  The word is that Jimmy Garrapolo will not play after being cast aside like a used condom by the Patriots and banished to the land of the lost on the West Coast.  Red thinks he plays and takes the bit in his teeth.  Santa Clara 17 Arizona 3.