Red’s NFL Picks – Week 12

Red was 4-2 on the straight up picks.  Red is now a very respectable 40-26 over 11 weeks of the season.  On the money line – let’s just say it was a bad week.  Red’s only winner was taking the Falcons and the points.

Answer to Last Weeks Trivia: On September 21, 1951, Norm Van Brocklin of the LA Rams threw for 554 yards against the New York Titans.

This Weeks Trivia Question:  Which 2 teams have the longest Thanksgiving Day rivalry?

Your Oyster Stuffing Pick of the Week: Chargers over Cowboys.  You can’t quite put a fork in the Cowboys – but you can prod them with your instant read thermometer (highly recommended when you are smoking a Turkey ala Red). Chargers would be in the thick of it having gone 4-2 over the last 6 games.  But then there was that stretch where they lost games to Broncos, Dolphins and Eagles that were all but won.  Their 54 point smack down of the fading Bills last week let everyone know that the Chargers’ offense is back.  Speaking of fading – there is the Dallas defense which (w/o Sean Lee) seems incapable of stopping anything short of a high school team.   The Eagles scored at will in the second half on Sunday in what must have been a richly deserved humiliation for J. Jones and crew.  Chargers score at will until they get tired of winning.  Take the over at 48 if you think the Cowboys can muster two field goals – Red isn’t so sure that they can.  Los Angeles 48 Arlington 10.

Your Cranberry Relish Pick of the Week: Vikings over Lions.  All over Houston, UH fans are saying “I told you so.”  Nothing is more offensive to Red’s ears than happy UH fans.  Nonetheless, Red must give CK his props.  Will the magic continue this week?  This could be your NFL GAME OF THE WEEK.  Vikings are giving up 3.  Take it.  Minnesota 29 Detroit 24.

Your Pecan Pie Pick of the Week: Texans over Ravens –  Texans showed signs of the Savage Life in last week’s win over the hapless and hospitalized Cards.  Tom is not Terrific but neither is he Terrible.  He is a mediocre back up QB on a mediocre team whose defense has been crippled by loss of Watt, Mercilus and Cushing.  Ravens have skunked two bad offenses so far this season (Dolphins and Rodgersless Packers).  Texans have to put points on board early.  They have enough speed and Savage has enough arm to put up some big plays if only there would be time to throw deep.  There won’t be.  Texans are getting 7.5 and that looks tempting but Red is taking the Over at 38.  Houston 21 Baltimore 20.

Your Candied Yams Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Bills.  Two fading teams face off in a lackluster matchup.  Red is almost too bored to pick this game.  He is too bored to say anything more about it.  Chiefs giving up 10 at home looks tempting against a completely lost Bills squad.  KC 35 Orchard Park, NY 14.

Your Gravy Pick of the Week:  Rams over Saints –  Red happened to be in the Crescent City last Sunday and seriously thought about attending the game but he already had enough football watching Tulane push around UH on Saturday despite being slower smaller and more intelligent.  On Sunday, Red estimates that more than half of New Orleans residents out on the street or in a bar watching the game were either wearing Saints gear or dressed in black and gold (e.g. black top and leggings and gold lame miniskirt).  Saints’ fans are passionate about their team in a way that is probably unmatched outside of Wisconsin, Seattle and Pittsburgh.  Saints were all but left for dead last Sunday (see below) and somehow managed to win.  They are either the team of destiny in the NFC (the Eagles may have something to say about that) or they have peaked too early.  It’s hard to say.  On the other had, the Rams are coming off of their worst game of the season  after getting smoked by C. Keenum and Co. in the frozen hinterlands.  The Rams have bounced back from every loss this season – but this one requires a helluva bounce.  Red is counting on the double reverse time zone inverse humidity index hex in this one.  The Rams are getting 2.5 at home.  That’s not enough for a betting man! And the O/U is a hefty 53.  If Red were forced to bet he might take over.  Rams 30 Saints 27.

Your Turkey Pick of the Week:  Giants over OTNAs – OTNAS are reeling from last week’s OT loss to the Saints in a game that (with about 4 minutes left) they had a 99.6% statistical chance of winning.  K. Cousins and crew had a look of utter disbelief that they had blown this game and a chance to get a leg up on NFC Wildcard rivals.  Teams either bounce back from such ignominious defeats or the fold up like a pup tent.  This week will show what the OTNAs are made of – and its cheap canvas.  The Giants aren’t nearly as bad as their record shows – but they are bad enough to secure this game as the week’s Shit Bowl.  But an entertaining Shit Bowl that might even rouse Red from his dopamine drowsiness on Thursday night just in time to watch the Giants rally and defeat the OTNAs in OT.  Nonetheless, prudence requires Red to warn all to keep that turkey leg and carving knife locked up lest ye be tempted to carve the leg into a shiv and plunge it into your femoral artery sometime before half time of this doleful doo-doo doubling.  Red (and he can’t believe he is saying this) likes the over at 44.5.   New Jersey 26 Landover, MD 20.

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