Tag Archives: NFL Picks Week 12

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 12

Red was 4-2 on the straight up picks.  Red is now a very respectable 40-26 over 11 weeks of the season.  On the money line – let’s just say it was a bad week.  Red’s only winner was taking the Falcons and the points.

Answer to Last Weeks Trivia: On September 21, 1951, Norm Van Brocklin of the LA Rams threw for 554 yards against the New York Titans.

This Weeks Trivia Question:  Which 2 teams have the longest Thanksgiving Day rivalry?

Your Oyster Stuffing Pick of the Week: Chargers over Cowboys.  You can’t quite put a fork in the Cowboys – but you can prod them with your instant read thermometer (highly recommended when you are smoking a Turkey ala Red). Chargers would be in the thick of it having gone 4-2 over the last 6 games.  But then there was that stretch where they lost games to Broncos, Dolphins and Eagles that were all but won.  Their 54 point smack down of the fading Bills last week let everyone know that the Chargers’ offense is back.  Speaking of fading – there is the Dallas defense which (w/o Sean Lee) seems incapable of stopping anything short of a high school team.   The Eagles scored at will in the second half on Sunday in what must have been a richly deserved humiliation for J. Jones and crew.  Chargers score at will until they get tired of winning.  Take the over at 48 if you think the Cowboys can muster two field goals – Red isn’t so sure that they can.  Los Angeles 48 Arlington 10.

Your Cranberry Relish Pick of the Week: Vikings over Lions.  All over Houston, UH fans are saying “I told you so.”  Nothing is more offensive to Red’s ears than happy UH fans.  Nonetheless, Red must give CK his props.  Will the magic continue this week?  This could be your NFL GAME OF THE WEEK.  Vikings are giving up 3.  Take it.  Minnesota 29 Detroit 24.

Your Pecan Pie Pick of the Week: Texans over Ravens –  Texans showed signs of the Savage Life in last week’s win over the hapless and hospitalized Cards.  Tom is not Terrific but neither is he Terrible.  He is a mediocre back up QB on a mediocre team whose defense has been crippled by loss of Watt, Mercilus and Cushing.  Ravens have skunked two bad offenses so far this season (Dolphins and Rodgersless Packers).  Texans have to put points on board early.  They have enough speed and Savage has enough arm to put up some big plays if only there would be time to throw deep.  There won’t be.  Texans are getting 7.5 and that looks tempting but Red is taking the Over at 38.  Houston 21 Baltimore 20.

Your Candied Yams Pick of the Week: Chiefs over Bills.  Two fading teams face off in a lackluster matchup.  Red is almost too bored to pick this game.  He is too bored to say anything more about it.  Chiefs giving up 10 at home looks tempting against a completely lost Bills squad.  KC 35 Orchard Park, NY 14.

Your Gravy Pick of the Week:  Rams over Saints –  Red happened to be in the Crescent City last Sunday and seriously thought about attending the game but he already had enough football watching Tulane push around UH on Saturday despite being slower smaller and more intelligent.  On Sunday, Red estimates that more than half of New Orleans residents out on the street or in a bar watching the game were either wearing Saints gear or dressed in black and gold (e.g. black top and leggings and gold lame miniskirt).  Saints’ fans are passionate about their team in a way that is probably unmatched outside of Wisconsin, Seattle and Pittsburgh.  Saints were all but left for dead last Sunday (see below) and somehow managed to win.  They are either the team of destiny in the NFC (the Eagles may have something to say about that) or they have peaked too early.  It’s hard to say.  On the other had, the Rams are coming off of their worst game of the season  after getting smoked by C. Keenum and Co. in the frozen hinterlands.  The Rams have bounced back from every loss this season – but this one requires a helluva bounce.  Red is counting on the double reverse time zone inverse humidity index hex in this one.  The Rams are getting 2.5 at home.  That’s not enough for a betting man! And the O/U is a hefty 53.  If Red were forced to bet he might take over.  Rams 30 Saints 27.

Your Turkey Pick of the Week:  Giants over OTNAs – OTNAS are reeling from last week’s OT loss to the Saints in a game that (with about 4 minutes left) they had a 99.6% statistical chance of winning.  K. Cousins and crew had a look of utter disbelief that they had blown this game and a chance to get a leg up on NFC Wildcard rivals.  Teams either bounce back from such ignominious defeats or the fold up like a pup tent.  This week will show what the OTNAs are made of – and its cheap canvas.  The Giants aren’t nearly as bad as their record shows – but they are bad enough to secure this game as the week’s Shit Bowl.  But an entertaining Shit Bowl that might even rouse Red from his dopamine drowsiness on Thursday night just in time to watch the Giants rally and defeat the OTNAs in OT.  Nonetheless, prudence requires Red to warn all to keep that turkey leg and carving knife locked up lest ye be tempted to carve the leg into a shiv and plunge it into your femoral artery sometime before half time of this doleful doo-doo doubling.  Red (and he can’t believe he is saying this) likes the over at 44.5.   New Jersey 26 Landover, MD 20.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 12

The week off did Red a world of good as he went 4-2 in Week 11 and has for the moment stopped digging. Red is now 28-30-2 for the season. Good enough for a win in the Electoral College.  As a special this week, Red will pick all 3 Thanksgiving Day games and squeeze them into the rubric one way or another.

Sure Bet Pick of the Week – Vikings vanquish Lions. All 10 Lions games so far this season have been decided by a touchdown or less.  While that sounds incredible, it is somewhat misleading because by Red’s inexact calculus at least 57.6% of NFL games in any given season are decided by 7 points or less.  Which means that the Lions are due for a blowout game one way or another.  Given the Lions tendency this season to fall behind and then mount a furious rally to win or make it close, Red should call this one as a close game.  But the Lions are too likely to be distraught over Calvin Johnson’s third place finish on Dancing With the Stars Tuesday night to have that incredible rally in them on Thursday. Take the Vikings and 3 points and the over at 42. Minnesota 35 Detroit 10.

Underdog Pick of the Week – Cardinals can Falcons. Red can’t help but think that the Cardinals don’t suck as much as they apparently – well – suck.  Falcons are there for the taking, but only if Carson Palmer can stay upright for more than 30 snaps.   Arizona 25 Atlanta 23.

Rivalry Game Pick of the Week – Cowboys collapse OTNAs. This one is pretty good as NFL rivalries go.  Back in the day there was hardly a more heated divisional rivalry than this one.  Sports Illustrated called in the greatest NFL rivalry of all time.  Red doesn’t go that far but he does remembers some fairly classic games.  For example, Billy Kilmer taking down Roger Staubach in overtime at RFK on a brisk November afternoon in the first NFL game Red ever saw in person.  Or the Clint Longley “Mad Bomber” game on Thanksgiving in 1974 might have been the most interesting NFL game Red ever watched as the Boys rallied from a 16-3 deficit behind their unheralded third string quarterback. Or the 1979 season ending game where the winner went to the playoffs and the loser went home and the CBs scored twice in the last 5 minutes to send the OTNAs packing.  Or the SCAB game in 1987 where a team of replacements beat the scumbag Cowboy players including Danny White, Randy White, Tony Dorsett and Ed Jones during the strike.  And for the record, that was the game after which Red declared that he was no longer a Cowboys fan after 27 years of loyal service. The list goes on.  The Cowboys lead the all-time  series 67-42-2.  However, the Redskins have won the only two playoff games after the 1972 and 1982 seasons. The Boys are just playing too good to lose this one on Thanksgiving – although that would make for another incredible game in the long list of incredible games in this rivalry. Arlington 31 Landover, MD 30.

Texas Franchise Pick of the Week – Chargers catcall Texans. Red has some experience in coming back from a trip to Mexico.  Red figures he has visited our sunny southern neighbor somewhere in the vicinity of 35 times and at least 1/3 of the time, didn’t feel quite up to snuff for at least a week afterwards.  And that’s only the times he didn’t have ceviche.  He has eradicated those episodes from the memory banks.  The Texans are coming off a tough loss to the Raiders at Estadio Azteca on Monday night.  So combine a short week with an overabundance of tacos, tortillas and tequila and you can fill in the rest.  Meanwhile the Chargers are coming to Texas after a week off.  The Chargers have found new and imaginative ways to lose games this season blowing a 17 point 4th quarter lead against the Chiefs and fumbling twice in the last 80 seconds against the Colts.  That and a missed field goal or two and the Chargers are fighting for the AFC West divisional title – and what a fight that is.  The Chargers may be the best 4-6 team in NFL history.  The Texans may be the worst 6-4 team in NFL history.  They certainly occupy those positions this season.  Red weeps as he calls it San Diego 28 Houston 24.

Prime Time Pick of the Week – Stealers over Colts.   Will Andrew Luck play or will the nation get to witness the glory that is Scott Tolzien under center.  Red hopes that Luck plays, as that underrated QB on Thanksgiving night thing (see Mad Bomber above) sometimes works out in unexpected ways.  Red also hopes to be well into diabetic coma by the time this one comes on Thanksgiving night.  Let him know how it comes out. Pittsburgh 21 Indianapolis 3.

Shit Bowl Pick of the Week – Eagles Edge Packers. Red can’t resist the chance to put the Packers in this week’s Shit Bowl because the Packers are in fact reallyshitty this season.  Of all the underperforming teams in the league, the Packers are the underperformiest. Yeah, that’s not a word.  And this isn’t a game that should be the only option for the true football junkie trying to hang on to the Thanksgiving weekend high of maximum football overdose.  Red thinks the Packers have packed it in, while the Eagles have to be thinking “We’ve got a chance.”  Keep thinking that all the way to the offseason guys.  Take one last injection of gravy and stuff that last piece of stale pecan pie in your mouth before tuning in to watch this execrable excrement exhibition. Philadelphia 6 Green Bay 3.