Red is going on holiday break and except for his NFL updates will probably not be posting much over the next week or so. But Red will take a few moments to take one final 2020 parting shot at the Reality TV Show Joke of a President.

Trump’s attempted treason has been out in the open for over a month now and yet, the country may be entering its most dangerous phase. Trump seems more and more unhinged as he claims a “landslide victory” in an election where he got his massive butt kicked. That Trump always had a very tenuous grasp on reality is now beyond question as he desperately attempts to cling to power. Trump seems to have no clue that this is alienating even some of his die-hard supporters who still value country over a personality cult. Red is hopeful in his belief that Trump has the stomach for invoking the Insurrection Act as a lead in to an actual civil “shooting” war led by his right-wing militia supporters. That is the only way he could conceivably attempt to hang on at this point. The legal options have run dry. But at the same time, Red is reluctant to sell Trump’s megalomania and sociopathy short. As Red has noted, if millions have to die or be injured in a civil war to keep Trump in power, that is certainly a price he would be willing to pay. So while Red encourages Trump to keep playing his losing hand short of fomenting civil war, he does worry about the long-term consequences of this “strategy.”

Alright, Red promised you one last translation of Trump speak, so here is Red’s take on one of the daily emails from your soon to be former President:

Red,

Where have you been (hopefully training with your local Proud Boys contingent)?

I really want YOU to win the beautiful Make America Great Again Hat that I SIGNED for you (as opposed the millions of other suckers I am sending this email to), but I noticed you STILL haven’t entered yet (you cheap bastard).

You’ve always been one of my BEST supporters (despite nary a nickel from your pocket), Red, so I’ve decided to unlock an exclusive short-term DOUBLE-ENTRY just for you (I learned this at the Con Man Academy of Arts).

This is a ONE-TIME offer (until next week anyway) that ends at MIDNIGHT TONIGHT (Con Man 101 – always have a ridiculous deadline).

Please contribute ANY AMOUNT by 11:59 PM TONIGHT and you will be automatically entered TWICE (Con Man 102 – make ’em feel special) to win the Make America Great Again Hat that I SIGNED for you.

Remember, this hat is ONE-OF-A-KIND (I sweated on it during my last round of golf), and I can’t think of anyone else more deserving of it than YOU (except anyone who contributes more than you).

All you have to do is make another contribution and you’ll automatically be entered TWICE(Con Man 103 – repeat, repeat, repeat)!

Contribute ANY AMOUNT NOW (Don’t read the fine print below that tells you that you are contributing to my slush fund and don’t actually have to contribute anything to win) to be automatically entered TWICE to WIN the SIGNED (by Sharpie of course) Make America Great Again Hat.

Thank you,

Donald J. Trump
President (for life) of the United States
(Again please don’t read the following which tells you that everything I have written above is a complete and total lie)

Contributions to the Trump Make America Great Again Committee are not deductible for federal income tax purposes (at least until the Trump Personality Cult is certified as an actual religion).
**NO PURCHASE, PAYMENT, CONTRIBUTION, OR TEXT MESSAGE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Contributing or sending a text message will not improve your chances of winning (or Trump winning the election for that matter). Void where prohibited. Entries must be received between December 11, 2020, at 12:00 a.m. Eastern Time and ends on December 26, 2020 at 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time. Odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. One (1) winner will receive one signed Official Make America Great Again Hat (collectively, the “Prize”). The Prize includes the following components:a. One (1) signed Official Make America Great Again Hat, signed by auto-pen (Trump can’t be bothered to actually sign the damn thing):b. One (1) certificate of authentication; The total approximate retail value of the Prize is $30 (and a lifetime of knowing you have been conned by the best).

Thank you for joining Team Trump. It’s because of grassroots supporters (aka Suckers) like YOU that we’ve been able to consistently call out the Fake News media EVERY SINGLE TIME they try to spread misinformation or outright LIES (also known as the TRUTH) about the important work President Trump is doing (he’s on the back nine now). Reaching grassroots supporters directly is CRITICAL if we’re going to WIN BIG in November (Yep, it really says this). But, in order to do that we need to provide them with the most up-to-date information on all of our efforts.

Together, we will Make America Great Again (which he clearly failed to do in the last 4 years)

You can also sign up to receive text messages from Team Trump, members of the Trump family, and even the President himself (Whoopee!). If you would like to opt-out of important campaign updates like this, please click here. If you would like to give feedback to the President (as long as it is fawning praise), click here. If you’d like to step up and join your fellow Patriots in the fight (detailed instructions or armed insurrection to follow) against the Left-wing MOB (otherwise known as 80 million Americans) please click here to sign up to volunteer with Team Trump (or better yet, your local right-wing militia). It’s because of the commitment and support from real Patriots, like YOU Joe, that we will Make America Great Again (and again and again and again)! We appreciate your support and with your help, we’ll secure FOUR MORE YEARS (but hopefully not in Prison)!
Start earning Trump Reward points (Con Man 104 – just make shit up) and download the Official Trump 2020 App below.

Red predicts that you will soon meet a woman – a blonde or brunette – possibly a red head. Red also predicts that many of the NFL Playoff spots will come down to the last week of the season – thanks in no small part to the extra Wild Card team. That’s just what prognosticators like Red needed to keep them in business to the end. Six teams are in including the Chiefs, Bills and Stealers in the AFC and the Packers, Saints and Seahawks in the NFC. Eleven teams are already waiting until next year and fifteen, count ’em fifteen teams are still in the hunt. So here goes:

Red’s Top Ten – aka the Popular Kids:

1. Kansas City Chiefs (13-1). The Chiefs are in a class by themselves right now with Professor Andy Reid instructing star pupils like Patrick Mahomes, Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce and Sammy Watkins. He even has room for remedial learners like LeVeon Bell. Another win against the Falcons on Sunday wraps up the first round bye and the Chief can coast into the playoffs.
2. Buffalo Bills (11-3). In case you hadn’t noticed the Bills are good, really good. Diggs and Beasley may be the number two WR combo in the league right now behind any combination of Chiefs receivers. Oh, and there’s this guy Allen who looks okay.
3. Green Bay Packers (11-3). The Packers are not making it look easy right now with less than impressive wins in recent weeks over the Panthers and Lions. Next week’s match-up with the Titans has “NFL Game of the Week” written all over it.
4. Cleveland Browns (10-4). Browns are No. 4 with a bullet after beating the previously hot Giants on Sunday. Everything is clicking for the Browns right now. They seize their first playoff spot since 2002 with a win over the Jags on Sunday. Trivia Question: Who was the Browns’ quarterback in their last playoff win?
5. Pittsburgh Stealers (11-2). Red is reporting early this week but he will assume the Stealers beat the crippled Bengals tonight. If Red is wrong, readers can self-adjust the rankings accordingly.
6. New Orleans Saints (10-4). There is no shame in losing to the Chiefs, but the Saints seem to be in decline. They are still dangerous in the NFC playoffs because of the semi-pathetic competition at the lower levels.
7. Seattle Seahawks (10-4). Seahawks are in the playoffs. While Red is reluctant to declare their early demise as he remembers a pretty mediocre 7-9 Seahawks team sort of clobbering a Saints team that some were predicting to go to the Superb Owl, he just doesn’t think this squad can hang with the Packers or Saints.
8. Tennessee Titans (9-5). The best of the 9-5 squads sits atop the AFC South. They will solidify playoff chances by dispatching the Packers on Sunday. Looking for to that one, Red is.
9. Miami Dolphins (9-5). So benching The Beard turned out to be a good move.
10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-5). Bucs coast into playoffs with criminally easy remaining schedule.

Still in the Hunt aka the Wannabes.

11. Indianapolis Colts (9-5). Much as it pains Red to say it, the Colts are odds on favorite to make the playoffs by beating the Jags in Week 17. A sure bet if they are victorious against the Stealers next week. Red wouldn’t bet on the Stealers and neither should you.

12. Los Angeles Rams (9-5). Losing to the Jets confirms Red’s suspicions about the Rams. You just don’t know if the Rams team that beat the Seahawks and the Dolphins is going to show up on any given Sunday.

13. Arizona Cardinals (8-6). Red might take a flyer on the Cardinals making some trouble in the playoffs – if they get to the playoffs, that is.

14. Washington FT’s (6-8). 6-8 and in the driver’s seat with games remaining against the Panthers and Eagles. Hmmm. This looks very likely to kill off Red’s dream of a 6-10 team making the playoffs.

15. Baltimore Ravens (9-5). Needing a number of things to happen to make the playoffs and get a shot at redemption for the last two years of sad sack playoff football. Ravens should be able to take of their end of the bargain with games against the Giants and Bengals.

16. Chicago Bears (7-7). Not quite “stick a fork in them done” but almost ready to come off the grill. They probably stay alive this week with the Jags on the schedule and maybe just maybe the Packers are starting the scrubs in Week 17.

17. Las Vegas Raiders (7-7). A game effort by Marcus Mariota was not enough to keep the Chargers from practically ending the Raiders chances. Maybe Mariota gets a couple of games to show that he can still play.

18. Minnesota Vikings (6-8). Miracles do happen. But there is a reason they are called miracles.

19. Dallas Cowboys (5-9). The Cowboys are red hot but have to finish off the Giants and Eagles and hope the FTs stumble. See below.

20. New York Giants (5-9). Why won’t the Giants just go away?

21. Philadelphia Eagles (4-8-1). The pulse is very faint indeed.

The Bottom of the Barrel – Sitting alone in the Lunchroom.

1. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-13). Ugh, simply ugh.
2. New Jersey Jets (1-13). Red would like to see some post-game footage of the Jets celebration after beating the Rams. On any given Sunday . . .
3. Cincinnati Bengals (2-10-1). Considering a move to Havana.
4. Houston Texans (4-10). Finding new and imaginative ways to lose close games.
5. Atlanta Falcons (4-10). Never has so much talent been wasted.

Well the U.S. finally has a bigger loser than the Jets this week. Oh come on. You know who Red is talking about. Or do you? Whatever. Moving on to the real news.

Red’s Top of the Pops

1. Kansas City Chiefs (12-1). Everything is up to date in Kansas City. They let the Dolphins believe for a while last week before slamming the door. The Stealers loss means that the Chiefs can probably give one game away and still have the first round bye which is either critical or meaningless depending on who you are talking to.
2. Buffalo Bills (10-3). Coming on like a steam roller. They toyed with the Stealers before pouncing on Big Ben with a pick-six and then demonstrating that the Stealers defense is a ruse against a talented multi-faceted offense. Josh Allen for MVP.
3. Green Bay Packers (10-3). A close game against the Lions is not a harbinger of success. But why aren’t people calling Matt LaFleur the best young coach in the NFL? Now in the driver’s seat for the first round bye.
4. New Orleans Saints (10-3). Now in the suicide seat for the first round bye. Especially with the Chiefs looming on the schedule next week. T. Hill is impressive but he is probably not going to beat the real playoff teams.
5. Los Angeles Rams (9-4). Once again Red has to say that the Rams winning the brutal NFC West would be the biggest shocker of the season and it looks like it is happening. Although the Seahawks and Cardinals may have something to say about that in weeks 16 and 17. And could this be the week the Jets win a game?
6. Pittsburgh Stealers (11-2). The Stealers are in free fall right now. Fortunately the Bengals are up next. After that the Colts and Browns and Pittsburgh could be looking at 12-4 and a wildcard if the Browns win out.
7. Baltimore Ravens (8-5). With the Jaguars, Giants and Bengals, the Ravens have a legit shot at turning the season around and finishing 11-5. Not bad for a team that has struggled though much of the season. The MNF game last week was the kind of game fans long for.
8. Cleveland Browns (9-4). The Browns have shown that they can play with anybody. But can they win a playoff game? Back to back trips to the Meadowlands should ease the path into the playoffs. Week 17 game against the Stealers could be a doozy with a lot on the line.
9. Seattle Seahawks (9-4). If they lose to the FT’s this week all bets are off. Red might just take Washington in this one. Hail to the FT’s! Hail Victory!
10. Tennessee Titans (9-4). Yeah, Red should put the Colts here but he has never liked the Colts since they skulked out of Baltimore in the middle of the night.

Still Licking Their Chops

11. Indianapolis Colts (9-4). See above. Nothing against P. Rivers but Red would not mind seeing the Colts lose out.

12. Arizona Cardinals (7-6). Still in the thick of things thanks to the sorry state of the NFC.

13. Washington FTs (6-7). Who’d a thunk it? Certainly not Red. Sadly, the NFC East is in the process of redeeming itself.

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-5). Brady may have used up his last bit of arm strength with two long TDs on Sunday. A ridiculously easy schedule has them cruising to the playoffs.

15, Las Vegas Raiders (7-6). Red wouldn’t bet on the Raiders. But he isn’t sure who he would bet on.

16. Miami Dolphins (8-5). The Dolphins can end the Patriots season on Sunday. Wouldn’t it be nice!

The Incredible Turds (Red always thought that would be a good name for a Punk Band)

1. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-12). Red will never pick the Jags to win anything ever again.
2. New Jersey Jets (0-13). Come on, win a game.
3. Cincinnati Bengals (2-11). Red spent all this time learning how to spell Cincinnati and for what?
4. Houston Texans (4-9). The Texans don’t rebuild. They implode. The Hot Mess on South Main.
5. Detroit Lions (5-8). There may be worse teams, but why bother looking for them.

As the Electoral College meets today in various state capitals across the country, Red takes some time out to provide you with the playlist of Donald Trump’s favorite songs.

1. I’m a Loser – The Beatles
2. I Can’t Stand Losing – The Police
3. Lonesome Loser – Little River Band
4. Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me – Warren Zevon
5. Loser – Beck
6. Running Out of Days – 3 Doors Down
7. My Own Worst Enemy – Lit
8. I Fought the Law (and the Law Won) – Bobby Fuller Four
9. The Sound of Failure – Flaming Lips
10. Loser Like Me – Glee Cast

If Red was in D.C. he would rent the biggest, loudest speakers he could find, set up in Lafayette Park across from the White House and play these on continuous loop at full volume until noon on January 20, 2021 or until he was dragged away.

The Houston Chronicle reports that employees at the iconic Texas grocery store chain H-E-B are being harassed by anti-maskers to the point where they are afraid to enforce company policy. Threats of violence and bogus claims regarding personal liberty are being used by the lunatic anti-masking fringe to bully employees into letting unmasked shoppers run free.

Here is Red’s take. You don’t want to wear a mask – fine. But any business has the right to protect its employees and other customers from your stupidity. Go shop at the most right-wing, anti-science and foolish grocery store that you can find. You have no right to shop at H-E-B or anywhere else for that matter if you don’t want to follow their rules as long as such rules do not run afoul of laws designed to protect against discrimination on the basis of race, sex, color, national origin, age, disability, etc. Your right to not wear a mask is not constitutionally protected activity. Compelling you to wear a mask inside a business establishment that you do not own is not a violation of your constitutional rights. If you refuse to wear a mask and then berate employees that are doing their best to follow company policy in the face of an out-of-control pandemic, there is just one word for you. Asshole!

Moreover, there are other options for you. Red shops at H-E-B and they have staff that will fill your order for you and bring it to your car. Or like Red mentioned, go find a Proud Boys store and get your red meat there.

Embattled Texas AG Ken Paxton has filed a lawsuit on behalf of Texas in the U.S. Supreme Court asking the Court to undo the results of the election in four other states. The case is brought in the Supreme Court because that is the forum for a state v. state action. Paxton claims that changes in voting procedure in these states must have been approved by the state legislatures under the “Electors Clause” of Art. II of the Constitution. That reads:

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Nuber of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress[.]

There is a lot of heavy lifting involved to stretch this clause to require that every voting procedure be approved by a state Legislature. But putting that aside, the fundamental problem with Paxton’s argument is fairly obvious. Paxton argues that only a state Legislature can change election procedure and that in these states, officials at various levels of government made changes without legislative approval. For example, Paxton argues that Pennsylvania’s Secretary of State relaxed requirements for signature verification on mail ballots.

Assuming that this and the other allegations are true, here is the problem. Paxton also argues that under Supreme Court precedent the authority to choose electors is conferred upon the state legislatures by the Constitution, and that power cannot be taken from them or modified by their state constitutions. “Whatever provisions may be made by statue, or by the state constitution, to chose electors by the people, there is no doubt of the right of the legislature to resume the power at any time, for it can neither be taken away or abdicated.”

So according to Paxton, under the Constitution the power to chose electors (and regulate elections to chose electors) is solely in the hands of the state legislatures. As such, the Supreme Court (and any other court for that matter) has no power to tell any state legislature when or when not to exercise that power and what restrictions there are on that power. That may be a scary proposition as a state legislature could possibly decide the electors and ignore the actual vote of its citizens – but that is the logical conclusion of Paxton’s argument – and Trump is apparently trying to get several state lawmakers to do just that. The Constitution leaves it solely up to the state legislature and there is no restriction on that power. If a state legislature wants to sit back and let election procedures be changed, a court has no power to require them to do anything about it. Thus, if Texas wants Pennsylvania to overturn the election it has to convince the Pennsylvania legislature to do so. It cannot go to the Supreme Court and have it decide that the Pennsylvania legislature must act.

At last the NFL is finished with the bye section of the season and we are comparing apples to apples (or turds to turds in the case of the Jets and Jaguars). Although if there are more incidents similar to the Dez Bryant debacle on Tuesday night, there is a real possibility that the NFL will be tanking or playing football in March. On to the fun!

The Top Ten

1. Kansas City Chiefs (11-1). The Chiefs struggled entirely too much in a relatively close win over the Broncos. Please note that the Broncos defense is what Red calls “not bad.” The MVP race is coming down to Patrick Mahomes or Josh Allen.
2. Pittsburgh Stealers (11-1). Red preemptively bumped the Stealers down a notch last week based on their declining offensive production and statistical improbability. As with Texas longshot lawsuit attempting to subvert the will of the voters, Red estimated that the probability of the Stealers going undefeated was one in one quadrillion (or if you prefer one gazillion). Stealers are a good bet to lose two in a row when they travel to western New York on Sunday.
3. Buffalo Bills (9-3). See note above re: MVP. Brian Daboll’s offense is using Josh Allen’s talent to the max. Cole Beasley is likely to have a 1000 yards receiving. Yes, you read that correctly. And all of this without a top tier running back.
4. New Orleans Saints (10-2). The first team to clinch a playoff spot and probably cruising to a first round bye as the Saints should finish no worse than 12-4. Taysom Hill needs to be on the field at least 50% of the time after Drew Brees is back.
5. Green Bay Packers (9-3). Red heard a credible argument from Charlie Palillo that Aaron Rodgers is the greatest NFL quarterback of all time after passing the 400 career touchdown mark on Sunday. He needs another Superb Owl appearance to cement that idea in most minds.
6. Cleveland Browns (9-3). Call Red impressed with exciting win over the dangerous Titans last week. Everyone keeps waiting for the implosion. Not gonna happen – at least not until the playoffs.
7. Indianapolis Colts (8-4). Now in the driver’s seat in the AFC South. Red just threw up a little in his mouth. That opening day loss to the Jaguars really looks strange now.
8. Los Angeles Rams (8-4). Defense good. Offense still suspect. Record speaks for itself.
9. Tennessee Titans (8-4). Losing to the Browns is not shameful. Titans have relatively easy closing stretch with Jaguars, Lions, Packers and Texans. That last game could be for the division title if the Colts stumble.
10. Miami Dolphins (8-4). The Dolphins have moved into the top ten the old-fashioned way – by winning games. With a decent offense and a good defense the Fins could surprise some folks. But their stay in the top ten could be short-lived with the toughest remaining schedule in the league – Chiefs, Patriots, Raiders and Bills. Ouch!

Were Not Dead Yet!

11. Seattle Seahawks (8-4) The worst 8-4 team in the league. Russell Wilson’s dreams of an MVP are fading.

12. Baltimore Ravens (7-5). There’s nothing liking beating up the Cowboys on national TV to boost your spirits and your playoff chances.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-5). The Bucs have beaten one good team in the Packers and one mediocre team in the Raiders. An easy closing schedule ( Vikings, Falcons, Lions, Falcons) probably puts them in as a wild card. It should be illegal for any team in contention to get to play the Falcons twice in the last month of the season.

14. Los Vegas Raiders (7-5). The Raiders season may have been saved by the stupidest defense call this millennium when the Jets called all out blitz on Sunday.

15. Arizona Cardinals (6-6). Hanging on only because the NFC is filled with sick franchises.

16. New York Giants (5-7). No one really wants to play the Giants right now.

The Pond Scum

1. New Jersey Jets (0-infinity). Red would not have believed that the Jets could not win a game somewhere. He got bamboozled.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-11) This team actually beat the Colts in week one.
3. Dallas Cowboys (3-9). And unbelievably not yet out of it.
4. Cincinnati Bengals (2-9-1). Sad.
5. Philadelphia Eagles (3-8-1). How appropriate that the Bengals and Eagles played to a tie earlier in the season. Carson Wentz will find a home as radio color guy for UND football.

You know the drill by now. Trump is tirelessly begging for money from the dupes under the pretense of challenging the election when it is actually going to support the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed. The latest follows:

Red,

Make no mistake (other than electing me in the first place), the Silent Majority will reign (like I intend to rule as Donald the First American Emperor).

The Democrats (traitorous scum) are doing everything they can to STEAL the Election (because if anyone knows about “STEALING” it’s little ol’ me). In order to SAVE AMERICA (and coincidentally save me from going to jail for another 4 years) from their SOCIALIST AGENDA (like not kowtowing to billionaires) we need to keep our Election Defense Fund on track (please ignore the fine print informing you that there is no such thing as an Election Defense Fund).

I’ve asked my team to pull the records of my BEST donors (errr – Suckers)– our most loyal Patriots (easy marks) who I can always count on when I need them the most (and brother do I need you now). I’m disappointed to say that when I asked for your file (just the other day I asked Jared – What is Red from Texas up to?) , they told me you showed up in the BOTTOM 1% of all Trump Supporters (Ivanka has a nice bottom too).

SUPPORTER RECORD
SUPPORTER: Red F. Texas
Donor Since: NOT AVAILABLE
2020 Campaign Cycle Gifts: 0
Lifetime Total: $0

I can’t DEFEND the Election (by filing utterly frivolous lawsuits) from the Radical Left (the voters) without you, Red.

The truth is (I wouldn’t know the truth if it hit me in the face, but I digress), we need to post a HUGE fundraising number today if we’re going to stay on pace to hit our Election Defense Fund Goal (soon to be the Trump Crime Family Legal Defense Fund). We CANNOT fall behind or we risk giving up the Election (that I lost handily), and ultimately the Nation (to be invaded and taken over by Botswana).

If YOU took action and gave your FIRST contribution of $10 TODAY (Note that I’m supposedly a multi-billionaire and I’m begging you for a ten spot), we’d be well on our way to CRUSHING (the meat grinders are ready) our goal (keeping me out of jail) AND SAVING AMERICA from Joe Biden and Kamala Harris (aka Lenin and Trotsky).

Please give your FIRST contribution of $10 or more by 11:59 PM TONIGHT (always put in an artificial deadline to make it look important) to the Official Election Defense Fund (my personal slush fund) and to help me SAVE AMERICA. >>

Giving your FIRST EVER contribution (you cheap ass piece of shit) has never been more crucial than it is right now (the walls are closing in).

50 of the other donors in the bottom 1% have already contributed (a fool, a birth, a minute, etc.). We’re just waiting on you, Red (Jeopardy Theme playing).

Please make your FIRST contribution of ANY AMOUNT TODAY to help me PROTECT (STEAL) THE ELECTION (I’m sweating bullets).

Thank you,

Donald J. Trump
President of the United States (soon to be in exile)

Week 12 certainly was an exciting week of football. There was some Turkey Day magic on the field. Who wasn’t on the edge of their couch cushion awaiting the outcome of a game to determine the cellar occupant of the pathetic excuse for a professional football division that is the NFC East? Who wasn’t hanging on every play to find out whether the Texans could hit that glorious 4-7 mark? Who wasn’t excited to fall asleep in the recliner with a belly full of pecan pie watching the Ravens and Stealers duke it out – What? There was no Thursday night game because the Ravens simply cannot get their COVID act together? And the game will be played on Wednesday afternoon? Well color Red surprised. On to the big time.

Red’s Top Ten

1. Kansas City Chiefs 10-1. For a while it looked like Norm Van Brocklin’s (aka The Dutchman) single game passing record of 554 yards was going to fall. But the Dutchman lives! When they are on – the Chiefs are unstoppable and they showed it in shredding the hitherto vaunted Tampa Bay defense.
2. Pittsburgh Stealers 10-0. As Red writes the Stealers are undefeated. Red is assuming a win against an undermanned Ravens squad. Red knocks the Stealers down a peg just because he can.
3. New Orleans Saints. 9-2. Saints have a legitimate shot at 13-3 with or without Drew Brees. Sunday’s utter destruction of the crippled Broncos was just the precursor. The only real test left for the Saints comes before Christmas against the Chiefs. Red might watch that one.
4. Buffalo Bills 8-3. They can’t quite shake the pesky Dolphins but will get a chance in Week 17. The Bills must have been watching Chiefs’ game film in pepping up their offense.
5. Green Bay Packers 8-3. The leading offense in the NFC. If it doesn’t come down to fireworks between the Packers and Saints in the NFC Championship game call Red disappointed.
6. Tennessee Titans 8-3. The Titans’ scoring blitz at the end of the 1st half against the Colts may be a harbinger of how the rest of the season plays out. Teams stay with the Titans for a while and then Derrick Henry and A. J. Brown take over and it is lights out. Still with tough matchups against the Browns and Packers, the Titans may not have the AFC South wrapped up when they visit the Texans in Week 17. Fortunately for the Titans they will be playing the Texans.
7. Cleveland Browns 8-3. Speaking of the Browns. Red is looking forward to Browns-Titans next week. Clarity will follow.
8. Seattle Seahawks 8-3. Russell Wilson is going to have to will this team over the finish line.
9. Miami Dolphins 7-4. They have earned this spot despite confusion at quarterback spot. They never should have benched The Beard for a rookie.
10. Los Angeles Rams 7-4. The biggest surprise of the season would be the Rams winning the NFC West.

Best of the Rest

Arizona Cardinals 6-5. Cards suffered a crushing blow to their playoff hopes in losing to the Pats despite Cam Newton passing for less than 100 yards and chucking up two INTs. Oh wait a minute, right now they are still in the playoffs because so much of the NFC is a turd-filled toilet bowl.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7-5. Slip sliding away. The Chiefs took names on Sunday. Can’t run on the Bucs defense? Okay, we’ll just pass for a quarter mile.

Indianapolis Colts 7-4. Not yet dead but the life support machines are close by.

Baltimore Ravens 6-5. The mighty have fallen right out of the playoffs right now. Beating the Stealers will be a tall order given the missing pieces.

Update on the nail-biting NFC East

New York Giants 4-7. Keeping Red’s dream of a 6-10 making the playoffs alive. They will be lucky to go 2-3 against the Seahawks, Cardinals, Browns, Ravens and Cowboys (well maybe not the Cowboys).

Washington FT 4-7. Also keeping Red’s dream alive. But unfortunately have a legitimate shot at a 3-2 finish with Stealers, Niners, Panthers, Seahawks and Eagles on the schedule. Come on Niners!

Philadelphia Eagles 3-7-1. With Packers, Saints and Cardinals coming up, it looks like Red’s pick for the NFC East Crown is probably toast. But the Eagles can still contribute by beating the FTs in Week 17.

Dallas Cowboys 3-8. They could be the spoiler with the easiest schedule remaining. If they beat the Ravens next week, Red will be worried.

The Sorry Slumdwellers (excluding the NFC East)

1. New Jersey Jets 0- forever. Red is calling 0-16 right now.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-10. London Calling?
3. Cincinnati Bengals 2-9. Losing Burrow hurt but it didn’t really matter.
4. San Diego Chargers 3-8. Maybe the best 3-8 team in NFL history.
5. Detroit Lions 4-7. Firing your head coach gets you automatic entry into the bottom five.