The Sad Current State of Political Discourse

Red has learned a lot from listening to the near overwhelming spate of political ads coming from both sides of the political spectrum.  But what has really been surprised to learn is all the things that he is for because he is not voting for more than about 3 Republicans who are all probably RINOs anyway.

Red now knows that he supports:

Wide open borders, the destruction of freedom, the end of “security” (whatever that means to Lyin’ Ted), bringing hordes criminals (especially MS-13) into the U.S., ending job creation, destroying health care, mobs, abortion on demand, rounding up all the guns and roving bands of non-Anglo youths running amok in the streets.

Red is likewise against:

Mom, apple pie, the flag, our troops, secure borders, job creation, religion in any form, fiscal responsibility and general prosperity.

Thanks to Red’s friends in the truth telling GOP for setting him straight.

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Red’s NFL Picks 2018 – Week 10

The Red train may have finally left the station in Week 9.  Uncle Red was 5-1 for the week bringing the season tally to an almost respectable 21-23 – “almost” being the operative word there.  But for foolishly believing that the Raiders might win another game, Red would have been 6-0.

Your Game of the Week Game of the Week – Bengals over Saints.  Red called the Saints big win over the Rams last week.  There is absolutely no reason to believe that the Bengals can beat the Saints.  Red is playing the coming off the bye week team vs. the team with incredibly exciting emotional victory card this week.  Bengals have the offense firepower to hang with the Saints (on a good day).  The real question is can the Bengals hold the Saints to less than 30 points.  Red is stretching here – but you gotta call a few upsets to have any fun at this game.  Cincinnati 29 New Orleans 28.

Your Texas Game of the Week – Eagles over Cowboys.  When the Cowboys score 20 or more points they win.  Unfortunately for the Cowboy faithful, that just doesn’t happen very much and not against decent teams (the Jaguars were thought to be decent at the time but shit happens).   If the Eagles cannot score at least 28 points they do not deserve to win, but scoring 20 probably wins this one anyway.  The arrival of Amari Cooper cannot possibly hurt and the Dakster must be relieved to have an actual wide receiver on the team.  But even the talented Cooper cannot invigorate the anemic an inept passing scheme of soon to be Ex-Head Coach Jason Garrett (you heard it first here – and everywhere else anyone comments about the NFL).   A loss this week, may force JJ to act now before the season slips further away.  Adios Jason.  Philadelphia 42 Arlington 17.

Your National TV Game of the Week –   Stealers over Panthers.  Wow! A Thursday night game that doesn’t suck – will wonders never cease.   This is a matchup between two teams with legitimate playoff aspirations who are both 4-1 over the last five games.  How did that happen? The scheduling geniuses at NFL headquarters can’t always get it right. So after spending a late night on Tuesday wondering if the wave is going to be red, blue or purple – prepare for another late night of actual entertaining professional football.  Stealers have to shut down Panthers’ powerhouse running game to win this one and exploit a mediocre pass defense to win this one.  They do just enough of that on Thursday to eke out win.  Pittsburgh 27 Carolina 25.

Your Disappointing Game of the Week – Rams over Seahawks.  Red admits that it’s a bit hard to call this one disappointing – unless you are a Seahawks’ fan and then your disappointment cup runneth over.  Last season the Rams were up and coming and in the second game of the division rivals the Seahawks still had a chance at the playoffs but were effectively eliminated with a 42-7 ass-whomping that still hurts.  This season the first matchup was a close Rams victory signaling that the Rams have arrived to take their place among the league’s elite  – while the Seahawks are stuck in neutral and looking for a Wildcard shot at best to eke into the playoffs.  So what once looked like a decent rivalry has quickly changed into Rams dominance in a division that the Seahawks more or less owned for the best part of the Teens.  The Rams do need to shake off the tough loss in New Orleans on Sunday and get back to business of winning a first round bye.  Los Angeles 37 Seattle 17.

This Week’s Shit Bowl – 49ers over Giants.  This game pulls double duty as an especially stinky Shit Bowl and this week’s Time Zone Hex Game of the Week.  Giants travel three time zones west to drop a giant turd on the West Coast.  Other than the now seemingly inexplicable win over the Texans, the Giants have found a way to lose blow outs and close games with aplomb and seem likely headed for 1-15 record unless they can beat the Cowboys in the season finale.  Red predicts that if the Cowboys need that game to make the playoffs (which seems unlikely at best right now), the Giants will find a way to win.  Meanwhile, the Niners ship seems to have at least stopped taking on water and may have found a credible replacement QB in Nick Mullins after C.J. Beathard got beat hard.  Yes, there are the two unseemly losses to the Cardinals, but have lost to the Chiefs, Chargers, Packers and Rams is not completely embarrassing.  The Niners may be the turnaround team of the second half (like the Chargers last season).  So you may not need to secure all of the various weapons in the house before sitting down to this excruciating excrement exhibition because the Niners may be worth watching for the next 8 weeks.  Santa Clara 35 New Jersey 10.

Your Bonus – Upset Game of the Week – Titans over Patriots.  A guy can dream can’t he?  Actually, every season one team with absolutely no business winning a game somehow manages to more or less stomp their betters into the ground.  Now this almost never happens to the Pats, but look at it this way – they are overdue.  The Titans completely pathetic offensive attack catches the Pats by surprise this week. Red can already feel the wave of shame and regret that comes with this pick.   Tennessee 34 New England 21. 

Vote!

Early voting turnout in the most populous Texas counties has been remarkable.  Apparently both sides are motivated to turn out the voting.  In the 30 counties that comprise about 78% of Texas voters, early turnout has already surpassed the total votes cast in the 2014 midterm elections.  Early turnout in these counties has been about 4.8 million votes case as compared to just over 2 million early votes in 2014.

The rule has always been that bigger turnout favors Democratic candidates.  But Red suspects that the surprisingly exciting Senate race pitting Beto v. Lyin’ Ted has a lot to do with this surge in turnout.   Red will be a winner either way in this race.  If the charismatic Beto wins then Texas will be represented by someone who actually cares about the state – rather than the current occupant whose agenda basically consists of the greater glorification of all things Ted Cruz coupled with the most naked ambition witnessed in several decades of watching Texas politics (LBJ can hardly hold a candle to Lyin’ Ted).  But if LT wins, then Red still has someone to kick around for another 6 years – and kicking Ted is like shooting alligators in swimming pool.

Texas voters are likely also casting their ballots in a referendum on the first two years of the Reality TV Show Joke of a Presidency aka the Trump Administration.  Those who really like reality TV and disfavor actual reality (or “fake news” in Trumph parlance) are coming out to support Trumph.  On the other side, those who have been horrified by the continual onslaught of daily falsehoods, fabrications and duplicity, and the racist fear-mongering, hatred, maniacal egotism and rampant nepotism and profiteering that are the hallmarks of the current White House occupant are also out in force to be heard – even in deep red Texas.

So regardless of your particular stripe, Red urges you to go and vote if you have not exercised the franchise already.  The people get the government they deserve and in Texas we have been getting a lot of it for a long time.  All Red knows is that Tuesday will either be exciting and down to the wire or same old story of one-party dominance in his beloved Texas.  So go out and vote – or cease complaining.

The Passing of a Legend – Willie McCovey

 

 

“McCovey is off the table!”

That’s how Red felt about Willie McCovey as a young man.  McCovey passed away this week at the age of 80.

At age 21, McCovey made his Major League Baseball debut with the San Francisco Giants by going 4 for 4 with two RBIs on July 30, 1959 and went on to win the Rookie of the Year award despite playing only one half of the season.  McCovey finished his Hall of Fame career (inducted on the first ballot in 1986) with 2211 hits, 521 homeruns, 1555 RBIs and a career .270 batting average.  McCovey is honored by the Giants franchise with the unofficially named McCovey Cove behind the right field wall of AT&T Park.  78 Giants and 47 players from other MLB clubs have hit home runs out of the park into McCovey’s cove – one of the few places in MLB parks that a player can hit one out of the stadium.  His 18 career grand slams are a MLB record.

McCovey’s best season was in 1969 when he had a career high in hits (157), Homeruns (45),  RBI’s(126), OBS (.453), SLG (.656), and OPS (1.108) and was the NL MVP. McCovey appeared in six all-star games (winning the AS MVP award in 1969).  McCovey played for 22 years until 1980 and stayed with the Giants organization for another 18 seasons.

Red was lucky enough to see McCovey play once at the Astrodome in Houston in the first MLB game he ever attended.  Red also doesn’t recall anyone ever saying a bad word about this man.

 

Red’s NFL Picks 2018 – Week 9

Red was unavoidably called to other duty and had to skip Week 8.  Normally Red only allows himself one ‘bye’ week, but sometimes life gets in the way.

So for Week 7, Red actually picked 8 games with a bonus 3 game Shit Bowl selection. Red managed to eke out a 4-4 record after having foolishly bet against the Patriots and non so foolishly the Texans and the Colts.  That makes Red 16-22 for the season.  Don’t head to Vegas just yet.

Your Game of the Week Game of the Week – Chargers over Seahawks.  Two teams enter.  One team leaves.  Well, both teams leave.  But only one team leaves feeling good about its prospects going into the second half of the season.  In a common theme this week, the Chargers only losses are to the Rams and Chiefs which puts them in good company.  Other than that they have beaten the weaklings (Browns, Raiders, Niners, Bills) and not very convincingly (with the exception of the beat down on the Browns).  So is this a good team, or one looking for a place to fall?  The Seahawks are more of a mixed bag with a fairly lame offense and the standard loss to the Rams.  So this is your typical mid-season battle between two wannabe teams that need a win to stay competitive in their respective divisions which are headed by the two first-half powerhouses of the league.  That’s what makes this one the GOTW.  Enjoy the fireworks.  Los Angeles 34 Seattle 28.

Your Texas Game of the Week – Texans over Broncos.  The additions of Demaryius Thomas helps assuage the loss of Will Fuller V for the season but we all knew that was going to happen at some point.  Unfortunately, the very talented Mr. Fuller cannot avoid the annual season-ending injury.  On another note, just call Red gob-smacked that the Texans have managed to win five in a row after starting 0-3 with losses to the sad sack Giants and Titans.  Meanwhile in the Mile High State, the Broncos have played a relatively tough schedule reasonably well.  The losses to the Chiefs, Rams and Chiefs again are totally understandable.  But other than the season opener against the Seahawks they have yet to beat a good team – and calling the Seahawks a good team is a bet of stretch right now.  Calling the Texans a good team is likewise premature, but a win on the road and a 6-3 record speaks for itself.  If that happens.  Red won’t be surprised at the outcome either way, but slightly favors the Texans coming off a long rest week.  Houston 24 Denver 20.

Your National TV Game of the Week – Patriots over Packers.  Red has bet against the Patriots one too many times this season.  He sees no reason to think that the Packers can stroll into Foxboro and beat a team that has a certain game plan, never panics and doesn’t make many mistakes.  In fact, it is hard to fathom exactly how the Pats have lost two games – to the Jaguars and Lions no less.  Meanwhile a 3-3-1 record is not going over well with the Packers patrons.  And 3-4-1 will be even less palatable at the half-way point of what appears to be another lost season.  Well at least you might not have Scott Walker to kick around anymore.  New England 31 Green Bay 20.

Your Disappointing Game of the Week – Stealers over Ravens.  There was a point in time when this was a game to look forward to.  Alas, no more.  Mediocrity reigns in the AFC Central and both teams exemplify mediocrity at the half pole.  Watch if you must, but don’t say Red didn’t warn you.  Pittsburgh 28 Baltimore 17.

Your Time Zone Hex Game of the Week  – Saints over Rams.  This really should be the GOTW GOTW but it was the only game this week featuring a team (Rams) to play at least two time zones away.  Anyway, few teams make it through the season unscathed.   The Rams sit at 8-0 by virtue of blowing out the weak sisters (Raiders, Niners, Cardinals) and scoring just enough to beat the better teams by no more than one score (Packers, Broncos, Seahawks, Vikings).  The 3 wins against the lamest of the lame were by a total of 83 points.  In contrast the 4 wins over real competition were by a total of 14 points.   The only anomaly is their 12 point win over what appears to be a damn good Chargers team.  That’s what really good teams do – roll and smoke the smokeable and win the close ones.  The Saints have played a tougher schedule to date with only the NY Football Patsies as a weak link and sit at 6-1 having reeled off six wins after the wild 48-40 opening loss to the Buccaneers.  The slight time zone inverse humidity hex combined with the friendly confines of the Superdome may make the difference here as the Saints faithful will be whipped into a frenzy by the prospect of knocking off the clear NFC favorite so far.  This one goes down to the wire. New Orleans 43 Los Angeles 38. 

This Week’s Shit Bowl – Raiders over 49ers.  A real no-brainer this week as the Battle of the Bay is more like the Battle of the Bowl (Toilet Bowl that is).  The Raiders and Niners have combined to lose 13 games, a starting quarterback, the best defensive player in the league, a stand-out wide receiver, their last shreds of dignity, respect and the interest of fans.   So what a Thursday night treat!  Actually this game is what Thursday night football is all about – putting up a game on National TV that hard core football junkies will watch no matter how shitty the on-field product actually is.  So hats off to the NFL front office for pulling this one over on a gullible population.  Remember to turn off the car engine if you happen to be listening to this beastly bowel battle on the old AM Radio when pulling into your three car garage, lest ye be tempted to sit there and put an end to your football watching misery.  Oakland 3 Santa Clara 2.

Trump’s Favorite Dictators

In honor of Trump’s visit to Houston today, Red will take the time to sort through the list of the President’s favorite strongmen – in other words, those guys he really looks up to for inspiration – along with comments from the Pres.

10. Tayyip Erdogan – Turkey.  He’s an authoritarian who dispatches opponents with ease.  Also an Islamist, but no one’s perfect.

9. Rodrigo Duterte – Philippines.    This guy has had thousands of scumbags killed and actually offed a few himself.  What’s not to like?

8. Benjamin Netanyahu – Israel.  Only a half-dictator really (to the Palestinians).  Step up your game Bibi.

7. Saparmurat Niyazov—Turkmenistan.  Oh what I wouldn’t give for a personality cult like this dude has created.  Right now I’m at about 40% of the way there.  Damn Democrats.  Sad.  Still can’t pronounce his name.

6. Aleksandr Lukashenko—Belarus.  Europe’s last remaining strong guy.  President for 26 years now.  Hang in there Alek.  You’re a shining example for the rest of us.

5. Nicolas Maduro – Venezuela.  Wait!  How did he get in here?

4. Vladimir Putin – Russia.  You thought he would rank higher, right? Vlad’s slipping a little bit but I still believe every word he says.

3. Mohammed bin Salah – Saudi Arabia.  Really getting into this guy right now.  He actually kills journalists who talk trash about him. How cool is that?

2. Kim Jung Un – North Korea. What can I say.  We fell in love.

1. Donald J. Trump.  Oh yeah, like it was going to be someone else.