Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Red’s 2024 NFL Rankings – Week 10?

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Red is back in the good ol’ USA.  Or at least what used to be the good ol’ USA and may never be again after this week’s election debacle.  But Red is better at ranking NFL teams than he is at predicting elections.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – Despite a shaky performance last week, the Buffalo Bills seem to be the only possible impediment to a playoff bye week. They look unstoppable with the addition of D-Hop.
  2. Detroit Lions – Can play indoors or outdoors in the rain.  Ask the fading Packers.
  3. Baltimore Ravens –  How good is Lamar Jackson?  The answer:  Very.  The division is surely in hand now.
  4. Minnesota Vikings – Darn Old Sam outplayed Tired Old Flacco Joe. 
  5. Buffalo Bills – AFC East all but locked up. But can they topple the Chiefs for the top seed? How cold is it in Hell right now? 
  6. Washinton Commanders – Red’s fingers are having trouble typing this.
  7. Pittsburgh Stealers –  Maybe the Stealers will cure Red’s problem with the Commanders this week.  Pitt is on a role and coming off a bye week.
  8. Houston Texans – Losing to the Jets has caused Red some stomach trouble. 
  9. Philadelphia Eagles – Eagles cannot allow the dregs of the league to hang around in games they need to win to keep pace with the Commanders.  Gag.
  10. Atlanta Falcons – Playing up to their potential.  Just ask any old Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback.
  11. San Francisco 49ers – Don’t belong in the top half of the rankings, but there you have it.
  12. Green Bay Packers – Ready to pack it in? Division title is almost surely out of reach now.
  13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – They coulda been a contender, instead of a bum.
  14. Los Angeles Chargers – If Herbert plays well the Chargers elite defense will win them a lot more games.
  15. Arizona Cardinals – Are leading the NFC West.  The end times are near.
  16. Seattle Seahawks – Just hanging around . . . Everybody sing.
  17. Los Angeles Rams -Not dead yet.
  18. Denver Broncos – Sinking, stinking, blinking.
  19. Chicago Bears – Losing to the Cardinals – never a good sign.
  20. Indianapolis Colts – For no particular reason other than other teams might suck slightly more. 
  21. Cincinnati Bengals – Now entering the futile stage of the season. Expect upheaval in the off season.
  22. New York Jets – Texans should be embarrassed.
  23. Cleveland Browns – Jameis Winston – good, bad, good, bad, goo ba, goo ba, Repeat after rinsing.
  24. Miami Dolphins – Nowhere to go but up, which means nowhere to go.
  25. Tennessee Titans – Beating the Patriots gets you a tip of the cap and nothing more.
  26. Dallas Cowboys – In the dictionary next to the definition for disarray.
  27. New Orleans Saints – Playing worse than any other team right now.
  28. New York Giants –  Playing the Panthers in Germany – will you be watching that shit show?  If so, Red has questions about your sanity.
  29. Jacksonville Jaguars –  Losing almost all of their one score games.
  30. Las Vegas Raiders – Silver and Black and Blue all over.
  31. New England Patriots – How is it now that more than any team the Pats are sucking.
  32. Carolina Panthers –  Red is tired.  Please fill in the blanks for him. Jawohl!

Red 2024 NFL Weekly Rankings – Week 8

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As a reminder Red may not be posting next week due to exigent circumstances that you don’t need to know about.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – Mahomes hasn’t been very Mahomesian – more INTs than TDs – but even so they just keep winning.
  2. Detroit Lions – Major win over division rival Vikings wasn’t easy and the Lions clearly miss Aiden Hutchinson, but still . . .
  3. Baltimore Ravens – Playing better than any team in the league right now. One two punch of Jackson and Henry.
  4. Buffalo Bills – Have yet to come out for the bell fighting, but damn good at finishing.
  5. Minnesota Vikings – Horns down after blowing it against the Lions.
  6. Green Bay Packers – Tell Texans to suck it.
  7. Washington Commanders – Have they beaten a good team yet?
  8. Houston Texans – Sucked it. O line needs to step up and protect the franchise.
  9. Pittsburgh Stealers – Winning with tired old Russell Wilson.
  10. Philadelphia Eagles – Should be better, aren’t yet.
  11. Chicago Bears – Will face Marcus Mariotta – speaking of tired and old.
  12. Denver Broncos – Have won 4 games, Red thought they might win 6 – is that right?
  13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – No shame in losing to the Ravens other than losing is usually shameful.
  14. Seattle Seahawks – Righted the listing row boat with win against good Falcons team.
  15. Atlanta Falcons – Could have been in top 10 but for losing. See above.
  16. Los Angeles Chargers – Losing a field goal fest to the Cardinals does not exactly inspire confidence.
  17. Indianapolis Colts – Now only one game out of 1st in AFC South – Who’d a thunk it. Certainly not Red.
  18. San Francisco 49ers – There was a time in the not too distant past where a prime time matchup with the Cowboys would have been must see TV. Ah! Memories.
  19. Dallas Cowboys – There was a time in the not too distant past where a prime time matchup with the 49ers would have been must see TV. Ah! Memories.
  20. Cincinnati Bengals – Red almost spelled Cincinnati correctly on the first try.
  21. Arizona Cardinals – They’re not dead yet in the pathetic AFC West.
  22. New York Jets – There not dead yet but complaints abound.
  23. New York Giants – On life support.
  24. Miami Dolphins – Return of Tua will make a difference. How much??
  25. New Orleans Saints – Sadness on the Mississippi.
  26. New England Patriots – Now merely a whipping boy.
  27. Las Vegas Raiders – Red’s got nothing.
  28. Tennessee Titans – Red’s got . . . .
  29. Carolina Panthers – Is anyone still reading at this point?
  30. Cleveland Browns – When losing your franchise quarterback for the season is a good thing.
  31. Los Angeles Rams – Oh please.
  32. Jacksonville Jaguars – I’ve seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Red’s 2024 NFL Weekly Rankings – Week 7

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Red wrote this much earlier in the week. He posts it just in time for it to not be completely meaningless.

Trivia Question:  Which team has more playoff wins since the Texans joined the NFL in 2002, the Cowboys or the Texans?

  1.  Kansas City Chiefs –  Red has one hard and fast rule, a team cannot lose the No.1 spot when it doesn’t play.
  2. Minnesota Vikings – Corollary to Rule No. 1. A team cannot lose the No.2 spot when it doesn’t play and the team in the No. 1 spots stays put.
  3. Detroit Lions – The Lions delivered the Cowboys an ass whupping for the ages on Jerry’s 82nd birthday.  Clicking on all cylinders and using trick plays to embarrass the opponent.
  4. Baltimore Ravens –  Four straight wins equals 4th place.
  5. Houston Texans – Beating the Patriots is like kissing your aunt – make that your great aunt.  There actually are some fine looking aunts out there.
  6. Buffalo Bills – Smarter than the average team.
  7. Washington Commanders – Still don’t like the name. Hard to argue with the results so far this year.
  8. Chicago Bears – Caleb Williams went to London riding on pony. Stuck a big loss on the Jags and called it Macaroni.
  9. Atlanta Falcons – Made medium work of the once again hapless Panthers.
  10. Green Bay Packers – The astute reader will note that the NFC North has placed 4 teams in Red’s top ten this week.   Do you see that astute reader? Astute reader? Astute Reader? Bueller? Anyone?
  11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bucs led 17-0, then trailed 27-17, then ripped of 34 straight to gobsmack the reeling Saints in New Orleans.
  12. Pittsburgh Stealers  – Next up for a good old fashioned thrashing by the Stealers – both New York teams have western PA on their itenerary.  
  13. Los Angeles Chargers – The best 3 win team is about all Red can say right now.
  14. Indianapolis Colts – The second best 3 win team is about all Red can say right now.
  15. Philadelphia Eagles– The third best win team is about all Red can say right now.  Are you sensing a pattern?
  16. San Francisco 49ers –  3 win team, blah, blah, blah. . .
  17. Seattle Seahawks – Could not beat the crippled 49ers. Losing to the Giants makes more sense now.
  18. Denver Broncos –  Red is really tired of trying to rank 3 win teams at this juncture of the season.
  19. Dallas Cowboys –  Without a doubt the worst 3 win team in the NFL.  The Cowboys are only a couple of plays away from being 1-5.  It’s hard to see more than another 3-4 wins for the Cowboys right now.
  20. Cincinnati Bengals – Well, someone had to be the best 2-win team.  A likely season saver in an ugly win over the Giants on Sunday.
  21. New York Giants – Speaking of the Giants. . .
  22. New York Jets –  Teams that play together (at least in the same stadium) should be ranked together.
  23. Miami Dolphins – Talk about a team that needed a week off.
  24. Arizona Cardinals – Beat the 49ers one week, get stomped by the Packers the next.  Welcome to the NFL.
  25. New Orleans Saints –  Red thinks he heard the death rattler on Sunday.  It takes real bad play to give up 34 points in a row.
  26. Las Vegas Raiders – Red has it on good authority that there were more people in the sports book at the Wynn than in the stands on Sunday.
  27. Tennessee Titans – Oh where to begin in ranking the dregs of the league.  Why in Nashville you say.
  28. Cleveland Browns – Would that every team could play the Browns each week. 
  29. New England Patriots – Texans finally win in Foxborough. Get used to it.
  30. Los Angeles Rams – Red reserves the right to rerank shitty teams even when they don’t play.
  31. Carolina Panthers – Sad!
  32. Jacksonville Jaguars – Never has a team expected so much and delivered so little. Well almost never.

Red’s 2024 NFL Rankings – Week 6

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This week featured quite a few exciting down to the wire games, but for a change – Red posts his weekly rankings early.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – A bit of a grind to dispatch a very game Saints team, but they were ground down fine enough.
  2. Minnesota Vikings – Probably deserve to have the top ranking, but Red has his rules. Plus a bit of the shine came off Darn Old Sam as the offense struggled.
  3. Detroit Lions – The next 5 weeks will tell us if the Lions are really real.
  4. Baltimore Ravens – Derrick Henry takes the team on his back and carries it to an OT win. His run on the Ravens’ first possession in OT will be featured in his Hall of Fame highlights.
  5. Washington Commanders – We will see after the Commandos play the Ravens.
  6. Houston Texans – Red unimpressed by the H-Town logo, helmets and end zone paint and almost coughing up a 3 score lead. Somewhat more impressed by holding off the Bills in crunch time.
  7. Buffalo Bills – The defense is teetering. You can’t expect Josh Allen to pull a win out of the hat week in and week out. Weak out!
  8. Atlanta Falcons – Flying high now. Cue the music. Cue the dancers. Cue the balloons.
  9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – OT loss in Atlanta does not bode well. It bodes bad -sad.
  10. Denver Broncos – Bo Nix, go fix, no picks, so licks – and it suddenly it falls apart.
  11. Seattle Seahawks – A 102 yard fumble return should win you the game. But the Lions are good enough to overcome such nonsense.
  12. Dallas Cowboys – Don’t get too excited over a very ugly win in Pittsburgh.
  13. Chicago Bears – You beat the Panthers, Little Whoop!
  14. San Francisco 49ers – Having yet to win a division or conference game is not what we would call a particularly good look.
  15. Los Angeles Chargers – Bye, bye, bolts. Huh, you say?
  16. Arizona Cardinals – Beating what figures at some point to be a real 49ers team was a big lift and a big lift.
  17. New York Giants – Red is betting on the come here. And expecting snake eyes any moment.
  18. New Orleans Saints – are marching out.
  19. Las Vegas Raiders – Does anyone really know what time it is? You know they don’t put clocks in the casinos for a reason.
  20. Miami Dolphins – Unfortunately, they cannot play the Patriots every week.
  21. Indianapolis Colts – Can’t blame Flacco Joe for losing to the a formerly winless Jags team. The defense stunk it up.
  22. New York Jets – Adios Coach whatever your name was.
  23. Philadelphia Eagles – Red is certain that this week’s lowly ranking will stimulate the Eagles to better things.
  24. Pittsburgh Stealers – Maybe everyone is focused on the election?
  25. Los Angeles Rams – Taking top spot in the shitty teams section of this post.
  26. Cincinnati Bengals – Sometimes it just aint your year.
  27. Tennessee Titans – This team may not be as bad as Red suspects. But talk to Red after trips to Buffalo and Detroit.
  28. Cleveland Browns – Is Deshaun Watson the black Johnny Manziel?
  29. Jacksonville Jaguars – Sucking just a little bit less last week.
  30. Los Angeles Rams – You cannot believe how satisfying it is for Red to type “30” and then put the Rams next to it.
  31. Carolina Panthers – Red Rifle backfires.
  32. New England Patriots – Red has waited a long time for this.

JD Vance Writes – Red Translates

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Hey [Insert name of Rube here] , it’s JD Vance.

First, I want to thank you for being such a loyal supporter [aka sycophant] of President Trump.

We wouldn’t be where we are without your support [incredible gullibility].

Being President Trump’s running mate is the honor of my life [which obviously means it’s been a pretty sad tale].

Growing up poor in the small town of Middletown, Ohio, I never would’ve dreamed of being where I am now [running for office with a lying felonious sex criminal].

Middletown was once an industrial powerhouse, but thanks to the unfair trade deals signed by our “leaders” in DC [RINOS], the people of Middletown were left behind [except for me of course].

It angers me to my core [my very rotten core] to see average Americans get ripped off by our politicians [see, e.g,. Trump sneakers, Trump coins, Trump bibles, Trump NFTs, Trump diapers] , and that’s why I’m working my butt off [and it’s a big butt] to get President Trump elected [by hook or by crook – but mostly crook].

The truth is, President Trump is the only president in my lifetime who has stood up for working families [by giving giant tax cuts to the rich, being against raising the minimum wage, gutting worker safety protections and general union busting ton name a few], and it’s because of this, the DC “elite” [people with half a brain] want to destroy him [or maybe just sit back and let him destroy himself].

He’s literally putting his life on the line [behind bullet proof glass] to defend forgotten communities [sad pathetic losers to a man] like mine in Middletown.

But by the time this election is over, Kamala will have raised over $1 Billion to destroy his campaign [how unfair to actually raise money].

So if you haven’t donated before to help President Trump win, can you please give just $3 to help him save our country [I mean you really can’t expect a couple of billionaires to fund their own campaign when there are suckers like you for the fleecing]?

I grew up dirt poor [well more or less dusty poor anyway]. I know a few dollars can make or break a budget [now that I’m filthy rich thanks to Peter Thiel].

So if you can’t afford to chip in, please don’t worry about it [but you can go to hell anyway].

But time is running out. Voters are already casting ballots [we’re losing already].

If you’re on the fence about donating, right now at this very moment is the perfect time [to flush your hard earned dollars down the Trump toiler – a golden toilet I might add]

Please give today. It will go a long way in helping us Make America Great Again [and keep us from having to spend a dime].

J D Vance [,Scumbag]

Red’s 2024 NFL – Week 5 Rankings

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A bit late but here goes.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – Still winning, still top of the heap.
  2. Minnesota Vikings – It’s kind of sad that there are only two undefeated teams after 4 games.
  3. Detroit Lions – Goff going 18 for 18 passing is going to get a W.
  4. Buffalo Bills – Rather a large hiccup against the resurgent Ravens last week. First loss by more than 10 points in 43 games.
  5. Baltimore Ravens – Better than the Bills right now, but still 2-2.
  6. Houston Texans – CJ Stroud leads big comeback to push the Texans back up in Red’s rankings. AFC South is there for the taking.
  7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Serious bay beat down off the Eagles.
  8. Washington Commanders – Red can scarcely believe his lying eyes. Will it last in DC?
  9. Pittsburgh Stealers – The curse of Flacco Joe holds steady in Steal Town.
  10. Seattle Seahawks – Losing to the Lions is not the end. Geno is playing lights out even in defeat.
  11. Green Bay Packers – Ready to Pack it in? Did you see what Red did there?
  12. Philadelphia Eagles – Trending in the wrong direction without their big talent.
  13. San Francisco 49ers – Beating the Pats. BIg Whoop!.
  14. New Orleans Saints – Trending in the wrong direction with their big talent.
  15. Indianapolis Colts – Sing it with Red – Flacco Joe, Flacco Joe, Flacco Joe – he’s got the Mo. Everybody!
  16. Los Angeles Chargers – Lots of injuries, but really should be better than 2-2.
  17. Atlanta Falcons – Always good to beat the Saints.
  18. Denver Broncos – Maybe there is life after death?
  19. Dallas Cowboys – Maybe there is death after life?
  20. Cincinnati Bengals – One day Red hopes to spell Cincinnati correctly the first time. Losing to the Panthers and the Red Rifle is a harbinger of doom.
  21. New York Jets – What a sad excuse for an offense right now.
  22. Chicago Bears – Caleb Williams handled Rams’ blitzkrieg. But will the Bears ever score a TD in the 1st Q?
  23. Las Vegas Raiders – The most inconsistent team at the quarter pole.
  24. Arizona Cardinals – Give me D! Give me an E! Give me an F! And stop there because the Cards defense deserves an F.
  25. Tennessee Titans – Defense shuts down an overmatched Dolphins offense. T. Hill frustrated.
  26. New York Giants – It seems having a supersized human as your team mascot is not a good look this season. See No. 25.
  27. Cleveland Browns – Red is taking a pass. Which is more than the Browns can do right now.
  28. Carolina Panthers – Red, Red, Rifle.
  29. New England Patriots – Week 1 win over the Bengals would look curious but for the Bengals sucking.
  30. Cincinnati Bengals – Speaking of sucking . . .
  31. Miami Dolphins – Making lots of pundits look bad.
  32. Jacksonville Jaguars – The Jags lick the sweat off a dead man’s balls.

Red’s 2024 – NFL Rankings Week 4

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Red was undecided about the title. Should it be Week 3 because that is the week have just finished and rankings are based on those results or Week 4 because that is the week that is coming up. Not that it matters, but the consensus is this is Week 4.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs seem to be living on borrowed time. They are not scoring in the red zone, relying on field goals and where the hell is Mr. Kelce? But as noted until they lose the defending champs hold on to No. 1 spot.
  2. Buffalo Bills – The Bills offense is just playing better than any other team in the league right now.
  3. Minnesota Vikings – Surprise, surprise, surprise. With apologies to PFC Pyle. And if you don’t get that reference – well good for you. Total domination of the previously undefeated Texans.
  4. Seattle Seahawks – Seahawks will be hard pressed to stay undefeated unless the offensive line plays better.
  5. Pittsburgh Stealers – Red zone offense is horrible, yet they are 3-0. Red doesn’t argue with success.
  6. Philadelphia Eagles – Injuries and turnovers by Mr. Hurts abound. Eagles need to right the ship before division play.
  7. Detroit Lions – Another team with red zone troubles. Red senses a trend here.
  8. San Francisco 49ers – Injuries to the big playmakers (Deebo, McCaffery and Kittle) are a major cause for worry in Santa Somewhere.
  9. New Orleans Saints – Tayson Hill makes this offense very hard to defend against. Saints fans hope for a quick return.
  10. Los Angeles Chargers – Without Herbert look for a quick drop in the rankings next week.
  11. Green Bay Packers – Red doesn’t believe. But then again who cares what Red thinks?
  12. Houston Texans – Last week the Texans were . . . um . . . pummeled . . . yes pummeled is the word Red was looking for. And they get the biggest drop of the week as a reward.
  13. Baltimore Ravens – Ravens got a desperately needed win against the sagging Cowboys. They were swirling the drain in the 4th quarter but managed to hang on in what could be a season saver.
  14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Lack of rushing yards, not a problem as yet.
  15. New York Jets – Beating up on the weak sisters of the league only gets you so far.
  16. Washington Commanders – Moving in the right direction. Win over the Cardinals would be big right now.
  17. Arizona Cardinals – Trouble on the O line gets the Cards top spot as mediocre team of the week.
  18. Los Angeles Rams -Being down your top two wideouts usually spells trouble in this league.
  19. Atlanta Falcons – A credible showing against the Chiefs. NFC South looks to be a dog fight between 3 teams right now.
  20. Dallas Cowboys – Cowboys defense has been wretched in first 4 games. Barely beating the Giants on Thursday was not a good look.
  21. Cleveland Browns – Is Flacco Joe still available? No. Hmmm.
  22. Miami Dolphins – Is Flacco Joe still available? See above.
  23. Las Vegas Raiders – An unbalanced attack forced by having to continually play from behind spells trouble in the desert.
  24. Indianapolis Colts – Should not be this bad. Anthony Richardson needs to step up or step down.
  25. Chicago Bears – Untapped potential so far this season.
  26. Denver Broncos – Red always manages to end up with a worthless Bronco running back on his fantasy team.
  27. New York Giants – Credible effort against a sagging Cowboys squad.
  28. Jacksonville Jaguars – “I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” H. Simpson. A useful quote likely to be heard again this season.
  29. Carolina Panthers – Who needs Flacco Joe when you have the Red Rifle? Very impressive, but can he keep it up?
  30. New England Patriots – How the mighty have fallen. Flat on their face apparently.
  31. Cincinnati Bengals – On life support right now.
  32. Tennessee Titans – Someone pull the plug, please.

Red’s 2024 – NFL Rankings Week 2

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  1. Kansas City Chiefs – Reigning champs will be No. 1 until they lose a game
  2. Buffalo Bills – The window still seems wide open.
  3. New Orleans Saints – What a freaking beat down of the unduly vaunted Cowboys. The season could end now and Red would be happy.
  4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Baker Mayfield has found his home at long last.
  5. Houston Texans – Playing as well as any team on on two and half sides of the ball.
  6. Los Angeles Chargers – Herbert’s sophomore slump appears to be just that.
  7. Seattle Seahawks – Red is going long on Geno playing the whole season.
  8. Minnesota Vikings – Will the smoke and mirrors hold out?
  9. Pittsburgh Stealers – Red believes at least for another week.
  10. Detroit Lions – Red’s former team of hit a road bump that they should have avoided
  11. San Francisco 49ers – Have they ever scored exactly 49 points in a game?
  12. Baltimore Ravens – The ship is listing badly. Captain LJ needs to take control.
  13. Philadelphia Eagles – Still have the best tandem running backs in the league.
  14. New York Jets – A Rodg looks good. Damn it.
  15. Miami Dolphins – With Tua out for the foreseeable future, Skylar Thompson has to step up.
  16. Green Bay Packers – Who knows? Surely not Red.
  17. Arizona Cardinals – Marvin Harrison, Jr. – Just wow!
  18. Las Vegas Raiders – Hmm.
  19. Cleveland Browns – A start for Jameis Winston can’t be far away.
  20. Atlanta Falcons – Redefining mediocrity.
  21. Dallas Cowboys – See No. 3 above.
  22. Washington Commanders – Division play awaits.
  23. Chicago Bears – Gave the Texans what for last week.
  24. Los Angeles Rams – Claiming the title of the best winless team.
  25. Indianapolis Colts – Not getting any breaks.
  26. Jacksonville Jaguars – Not deserving any breaks.
  27. Tennessee Titans – What is going on in Nashville?
  28. New England Patriots – If you can’t say something nice . . .
  29. Denver Broncos – See above.
  30. Cincinnati Bengals – Wake up!
  31. New York Giants – Looking hopeless.
  32. Carolina Panthers – Don’t make Red say it.