Tag Archives: Baltimore Ravens

Red’s 202(4) NFL Conference Semi-Final Picks

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For those of you paying attention and thinking about throwing some hard earned money at the misnamed “gaming” industry this weekend, you might note that Red was 6 for 6 straight up last week.

For those of you playing the line, Red was 5-0-1, with only the Commanders/Buccaneers matchup being a push. Red doesn’t typically pick base on the odds, but you might just want to think about that.

So on to the misnamed “Divisional Round” – a round in which two teams who were not division champions could face each other. Red will go to the mat in fighting to call this weekend the Conference Semi-Finals – only because that is exactly what these games are. On to the picks:

Texans over Chiefs. Call Red crazy – he doesn’t mind because he probably is for making this pick. Let’s look back at the Texans’ painful playoff history against the Chiefs.

In the 2015 playoffs the Chiefs walloped the 9-7 Texans at NRG 30 to ZIP. This game was pretty much over after Knile Davis took the opening kickoff 106 yards for a score. Ugh. Red had almost forgotten that long Saturday afternoon.

What Red clearly remembers is the beacon of hope that shone in the first 18 minutes of the Texans/Chiefs game on Jan. 12, 2020. The football world was shocked when the Texans went up 24-0 on the Chiefs. Normality was restored by halftime with the Chiefs leading 28-24 in route to a 51-31 rout. It would take several years for the Texans to shake off that ass whomping.

So why should this year be any different? The Chiefs are not the same juggernaut they have been for the past many years. The running game is suspect. Mahomes has to carry the team – which would be a dream come true for most. CJ Stroud seems to have shaken off his sophomore slump and if Joe Mixon can bruise and cruise for over 150 yards and a brace of TDS, the Texans have a chance. But more critically, Red thinks the Chiefs have run out of rabbits and maybe even the hat to pull them out of. A team only gets some many miraculous finishes in one season. And the Texans showed real signs of life last week against a very good Chargers team. It’s a close call. Houston 27 KC 24.

Lions over Commanders. The Lions are the best team in the NFC by a long shot. Red thinks that only the Rams might have a chance against them if they make it through a frigid Sunday afternoon in Philly. Goff is playing at his best (ask the Vikings), Gibbs is bruising defenses and the Lions defense is good enough to hold down the fort. The Commanders have had a good season (meaning any season the Cowboys don’t win the NFC East) and certainly should be thinking they have a chance. But Red isn’t saying that. Take the Lions forget about the spread. Detroit 45 Washington 17.

Eagles over Rams. People are raving about how the Rams played down the stretch. But tell Red this, other than beating the Bills at home in a wild 44-42 game that could have gone either way – who did the Rams beat before waxing the overrated Vikings in the Wildcard round? The Patriots, Saints, Jets, 49ers, Cardinals – no one of consequence. Red knows you can probably say the same thing about the Eagles. And while Red doesn’t normally place much meaning in a regular season matchup, the Eagles did dispatch the Rams with some ease back in November. Only a garbage time touchdown by the Rams kept that game from looking like more of a rout. The Rams had no answer for Mr. Barkley who had 255 yards on 26 carries. Red will let you do the math. If Hurts has just an average game, with the best back in the game right now controlling the ball, Red just doesn’t see the Rams as being able to keep up. It may be close for a while, but the Eagles close out strong. Philadelphia 31 Los Angeles 20.

Bills over Ravens. Red hates picking this one. These are two teams who both deserve a shot at the Conference title. The Bills have been pretty consistent all year with but a few bumps in the road (maybe the loss to the Texans doesn’t look so bad and losing to the Ravens and Rams is no mark of disgrace). The Ravens started the season 0-2, then corrected course for a while beating the Bills 35-10, then it was up and down but come mid-December they have been really unchallenged and playing their best football. This one all comes down to who has the better game Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson. The difference might be a single sack, an interception or a turnover on downs. This one is down to the wire as it should be. And is too much to ask for a blizzard game? Buffalo 31 Baltimore 28.

Red’s 2024 Weekly NFL Rankings – Week 14

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The closing stretch is near.  Who will be in? Who will be out?  Why are you asking Red?

  1. Detroit Lions (11-1)  Red premiers a new feature beginning with the Lions this week.  Actually, before he was just too lazy to include W/L record.  Lions deserve this spot.  Can they keep their players on the field?
  2. Philadelphia Eagles (10-2) Eagles have inside track to No. 1 seed in NFC with only the Vikings and Packers nipping at their wings.  Red is not aware that birds have heels.  Feel free to correct him.
  3. Buffalo Bills (10-2) – Red loves a good blizzard game.  Apparently, as does Josh Allen. Was that the best touchdown of the year?  Once again, how did the Texans beat this team?
  4. Kansas City Chiefs (11-1)  Chiefs may be the worst 11-1 team in NFL history.   But they continue to win close one-score games. 
  5. Minnesota Vikings (10-2) Still doing it with smoke and mirrors.
  6. Green Bay Packers (9-3) Mirrors will need to be brightly polished and the smoke machine will need to be finely tuned against the Lions on Thursday.
  7. Pittsburgh Stealers (9-3)  Those who counted R. Wilson out are now licking their wounds.
  8. Denver Broncos (7-5)  Broncos wish they were in the AFC South.
  9. Baltimore Ravens (8-5) Are the Ravens swirling the drain?  Defense must step up or the Ravens will be grasping for the No. 7 seed in AFC.
  10. Washington Commanders (8-5) The Commanders are in the Top 10?  Are the end times near?
  11. Los Angeles Chargers (8-4)  I don’t think any AFC team wants to face the Bolts in the post-season.
  12. Seattle Seahawks (7-5)  Geno is playing well again and has the Falconos Marinos (which is Red’s favorite Spanish name for an NFL team) on a roll.
  13. Arizona Cardinals (6-6)  You just never know which Cardinals team is going to show up on game day.
  14. Houston Texans (8-5)  Can they beat the Chiefs or the Ravens down the stretch?  Red is calling it now.  Yes and No.
  15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-6) What can you say about a team like the Bucs?  Red has no clue.
  16. Los Angeles Rams (6-6)  Could be trouble if they make the playoffs and get some key players back.
  17. Atlanta Falcons (6-6)  Cannot make up their mind.
  18. Indianapolis Colts (6-7) Colts are a living, breathing, walking embodiment of parody in that they are not out of the playoff picture yet.
  19. Dallas Cowboys (5-7) Two game winning streak has fans excited.  Calm down now.
  20. Miami Dolphins (5-7) Return on investment is very poor.
  21. San Francisco 49ers (5-7) Need to go 4-1 down the stretch.  And that would be a stretch.
  22. Cincinnati Bengals (4-8)  Bengals cannot buy a break this season. Cowboys had better watch out.
  23. New Orleans Saints (4-8) Saints do not deserve a break.
  24. Chicago Bears (4-8)  Bears are simply broken.
  25. Carolina Panthers (3-9)  Showing signs of life.
  26. Cleveland Browns (3-8)  Jameis Winston is fun to watch – that is if you like roller coasters.
  27. Tennessee Titans (3-10)  Will Levis has not sucked for several weeks now.
  28. New York Jets (3-9)  Will they ever learn?  It’s not looking good.
  29. New England Patriots (3-10)  Red is going to write a poem about the Pats season. Ode to Hubris.
  30. New York Giants (2-10)  Do they Giants have one good game left in them?
  31. Las Vegas Raiders (2-10)  Casinos are packed.  Stadium – not so much.
  32. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-10) Hopefully, the coaching staff is not foolish enough to let Trevor Lawrence play again this year and that is now confirmed.  All hail, Mac Jones – our reigning Dead Man of the Year!

Red’s 2024 NFL Rankings – Week 6

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This week featured quite a few exciting down to the wire games, but for a change – Red posts his weekly rankings early.

  1. Kansas City Chiefs – A bit of a grind to dispatch a very game Saints team, but they were ground down fine enough.
  2. Minnesota Vikings – Probably deserve to have the top ranking, but Red has his rules. Plus a bit of the shine came off Darn Old Sam as the offense struggled.
  3. Detroit Lions – The next 5 weeks will tell us if the Lions are really real.
  4. Baltimore Ravens – Derrick Henry takes the team on his back and carries it to an OT win. His run on the Ravens’ first possession in OT will be featured in his Hall of Fame highlights.
  5. Washington Commanders – We will see after the Commandos play the Ravens.
  6. Houston Texans – Red unimpressed by the H-Town logo, helmets and end zone paint and almost coughing up a 3 score lead. Somewhat more impressed by holding off the Bills in crunch time.
  7. Buffalo Bills – The defense is teetering. You can’t expect Josh Allen to pull a win out of the hat week in and week out. Weak out!
  8. Atlanta Falcons – Flying high now. Cue the music. Cue the dancers. Cue the balloons.
  9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – OT loss in Atlanta does not bode well. It bodes bad -sad.
  10. Denver Broncos – Bo Nix, go fix, no picks, so licks – and it suddenly it falls apart.
  11. Seattle Seahawks – A 102 yard fumble return should win you the game. But the Lions are good enough to overcome such nonsense.
  12. Dallas Cowboys – Don’t get too excited over a very ugly win in Pittsburgh.
  13. Chicago Bears – You beat the Panthers, Little Whoop!
  14. San Francisco 49ers – Having yet to win a division or conference game is not what we would call a particularly good look.
  15. Los Angeles Chargers – Bye, bye, bolts. Huh, you say?
  16. Arizona Cardinals – Beating what figures at some point to be a real 49ers team was a big lift and a big lift.
  17. New York Giants – Red is betting on the come here. And expecting snake eyes any moment.
  18. New Orleans Saints – are marching out.
  19. Las Vegas Raiders – Does anyone really know what time it is? You know they don’t put clocks in the casinos for a reason.
  20. Miami Dolphins – Unfortunately, they cannot play the Patriots every week.
  21. Indianapolis Colts – Can’t blame Flacco Joe for losing to the a formerly winless Jags team. The defense stunk it up.
  22. New York Jets – Adios Coach whatever your name was.
  23. Philadelphia Eagles – Red is certain that this week’s lowly ranking will stimulate the Eagles to better things.
  24. Pittsburgh Stealers – Maybe everyone is focused on the election?
  25. Los Angeles Rams – Taking top spot in the shitty teams section of this post.
  26. Cincinnati Bengals – Sometimes it just aint your year.
  27. Tennessee Titans – This team may not be as bad as Red suspects. But talk to Red after trips to Buffalo and Detroit.
  28. Cleveland Browns – Is Deshaun Watson the black Johnny Manziel?
  29. Jacksonville Jaguars – Sucking just a little bit less last week.
  30. Los Angeles Rams – You cannot believe how satisfying it is for Red to type “30” and then put the Rams next to it.
  31. Carolina Panthers – Red Rifle backfires.
  32. New England Patriots – Red has waited a long time for this.

Red’s 2018 NFL Predictions – AFC North

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The division of “so what.”  Red still has to pick ’em.

Pittsburgh Stealers – Ben “Big Ben” Rothlessburger may be tired but he isn’t old just yet.  This season may change that assessment and if so, the Stealers are in for a cold December – well make that a colder December.  BB should be helped by the presence of Antone “Big Time” Brown and the debut of the JuJu “No Need for a Nick Name” Smith-Schuster. The big ? – is Le’Veon “Will he Answer the” Bell.  If  not, then maybe James “Hey I Don’t Suck” Conner is the answer – or maybe not.  The Stealers defense is always there  and probably improves with the emergence of T.J. “Yeah He’s my Big Brother” Watt.  It all rests in the reasonably capable hands of Mike “Can You Believe I’m Still Here” Tomlin.  Red likes Mike and Pittsburgh does more than enough to win this division at 12-4.

Cleveland Browns – You read it here first, the Browns are going to the playoffs.  Red just had to choke back a spoonful of delicious Grazier’s whole milk, grass-fed yogurt when he wrote that and is now seriously contemplating the function of the back key – but the moving hand writes and when it is written moves on.  Sort of like Red’s bowels.  This could be the greatest prediction  of Red’s life or  . . .   Happy times in Cleveland at 10-6.

Cincinnati Bengals – Red really likes the Bengals.  He also likes Neapolitan ice cream even though he knows it’s just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry and the vanilla is always left at the end.  Sort of like the end of your typical Bengals season where there either challenge for a playoff spot or make the playoffs and lose to the Texans – an even worse fate.  This has to be the year for Marvin “Can You Believe I’m Still Here When I’m not Half as Good as Mike Tomlin” Lewis.  He cannot hang on any longer without at least one playoff win.  Marvin lets go of the rope.  Cincinnati comes close but not close enough 9-7.

Baltimore Ravens – Flacco Joe, Flaco Joe,  Flaco Joe.  Can Red just say no?  Okay then.  Baltimore 2-14.

Red’s NFL Picks – AFC North

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Red has a distinct fondness for this division.  Not because it is easy to pick (even though it only has 3 teams – take that Browns fans).  But because it is challenging. Every season one team really outperforms expectations and mystifies the pundits – Red included.  So here goes nothing.

Stealers. Many long years ago, Red went to see a late-season game between the Oilers and Stealers in the last days of the Astrodome. He chatted up a few Stealers fans before the game – one of whom told him that it was cheaper for him and his son to fly to Houston, spend the night at a reasonable hotel and buy tickets for the game than it would be to get two ticket to a Stealers home game.  With fans like that name Red one good reason why the AFC Championship game should not be a rematch of last year when the Patriots steamrolled the Stealers 36-17 in a game that wasn’t even that close. Of course, losing Le’Veon Bell early on and having some dude named Chris Hogan be the hero with 2 TDs and 180 yards doesn’t help your cause.  So why pick the Stealers? It’s a good question.  Will this be the year that Bell actually suits up for 16 games?  He is playing on the franchise tag, so he has a lot to prove for a big payday.  Can Big Ben hold his battered, bruised and frequently broken body together for one more season of greatness?  Can a Stealers defense that was nothing short of awful against the Pats snap back? Will the Stealers avoid last season’s horrific start? Will dead Dan Rooney (ensconced in the luxurious NFL wing of St. Peter’s Estates) be taunting the emaciated ghost of Al Davis as he walks the netherworld searching for another Superb Owl ring for all eternity?  Lots of questions?  Red has no real answers, except that with a relatively easy first 5 games, the Stealers should not have to count on a 7 game winning streak to secure a playoff spot like they did in 2016.  And to give you one good reason the Stealers might not be in the AFC Championship game.  They’re called the Oakland Raiders (somewhere Al Davis lets loose a croaky “Just Win Baby”).   Pittsburgh goes 10-6 and wins the North nonetheless.

Ravens. Flacco Joe’s deal with Satan must have timed out.  After all, the first 5 seasons of FJ’s NFL career are basically unmatched by any other quarterback.  Flacco Joe led his team to 5 straight playoff appearances culminating in the Ravens second NFL title in 2012.  He was the first rookie quarterback to win 2 playoff games.  He had the most wins by a quarterback in his first 6 and 7 seasons. He was the first NFL quarterback to win a playoff game in each of his first 5 seasons.  But since 2012, there has been one playoff win (albeit against a good Stealers team in 2014) and lots of disappointment on the Chesapeake.  So it was good while it lasted for FJ, but Red thinks he needs a change of scenery.  Perhaps the Argonauts are in the market for a tall, strong-armed, washed-up quarterback.  Ravens do have some positives.  The combination of Maclin and Perriman at wideout will keep defenses wondering.  Meanwhile, the Ravens defense is a palimpsest of the former playbook  and they are searching for a running game.   Ravens will have to score lots of points to win this season.  They do have longfoot Justin Tucker and his ability to hit from range will keep them in a few games – just not enough games.  Baltimore is 8-8 and sitting at home in January.  

Bengals. Last year Red wrote, “So it’s pretty much make or break time for this current iteration of the Bengals.” Well, “break” it was as the season was pretty damn miserable for the Bengals.  They finally figured out that Jeremy Hill sucks and that Gio Bernard is a “specialty back” and that. yep losing Marvin Jones and Mohamed Sanu does make a difference.  So they are going young on offense this year with wideouts John Ross and Josh Malone.  And to meet their NFL minimum  requirement of at least one girl-beater per team, they drafted Joe Mixon from OU. The big problem for the Bengals is up front.  They lost all-world left tackle Andrew Whitworth to the Rams and are expecting unproven backups to take up the slack.  As for Red’s favorite distant relation “Red Rifle” Dalton – it looks more and more like one of those wasted careers as far as playoff success goes.  He can cry on LaDanian Tomlinson’s HOF shoulder about that one.  The good news for Bengals fans (and Red) is that this won’t be the year when the Bengals ignominiously lose their 9th playoff game in a row – because they won’t have a chance.  Cincinnati goes 7-9.

Browns. Does Red really have to say anything here?  He thought not, but here goes anyway.  Red gives the Browns credit for trying to build a team in the old-fashioned way with major upgrades to both lines with additions of JC Tretter and Kevin Zeitler on O line and first round pick Myles Garret and rookie Larry Ogunjobi on the D line.  Browns might actually win a division game with Bengals and Ravens trending down.  Jets, Jaguars, Chargers and Bears are other chances to win.   Browns improve, Brock Osweiler doesn’t completely suck – mostly because he is on the bench, but no one notices.  Cleveland swaggers to 6-10.