Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Trump Takes Texas by Storm

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GOP Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump spoke to a crowd of approximately 15,000 in Dallas last night.  Here are some excerpts from the speech.

Wow!  Thank you for coming out tonight to see me – but who wouldn’t want to see me? Really?  Everyone loves me.  The women love me.  The Mexicans love me.  The Jews love me.  The Red Necks love me.  Jesus loves me.  After all, I am the most amazing human who has ever walked the face of this planet.  Not that I walk that much.  I usually ride in a golf cart.  And by the way, that walking on water thing – I taught Jesus that one.  Jesus, nice guy  – son of man and all – but he was no one until he came to see me. 

I have so much energy.  I never run out of energy. It’s ridiculous how much energy I have. You could run the entire state of Texas solely on the energy generated from my farts.  Which by the way, don’t even stink. How amazing is that?  And Jeb!, nice guy – but low energy guy – you can’t even run your refrigerator with his flatulence. 

And that other Texas guy, Ted Cruz.  Nice guy.  Nice Canadian guy.  By the way, the Canadians love me too.  More energy than Jeb!  You might be able to run a decent sized subdivision on Ted’s ass gas.  But really, that’s nothing like the kind of energy that I can generate.  Ted, hmmm.  Too bad I am going to have to squash him like a bug. 

And Hillary, by the way, never farts.  Never. How can you trust someone who never farts?  I fart all the time.  I wake up farting.  My farts will make this country great again.

Here in Texas you know about the illegal immigration.  There are probably some illegal aliens in this arena tonight. And you know what, they love me too!  But I am going to fix this.  I am going to build a wall – a real wall.  It will be very wall-like. Extremely wall-like.  You know the Chinese built that Great Wall and it’s 13,000 miles long.  This wall won’t be that long – but it will be even greater.  And much taller. A tall wall. Taller than my hair. I’m thinking two or three thousand feet tall.  Go try and buy a ladder at Home Depot that will scale that wall!  Yeah, Where can I find the two thousand foot extension ladders?  Sorry, out of stock!  This wall will be beautiful – everything I build is beautiful.  I am beautiful and people love me for my beauty.  And there will be a beautiful door in the wall to let the good people through.  Because the good people love me too!

I am a deal maker.  I make deals.  I know the toughest negotiators in the world.  Most of them are awful, despicable, disgusting humans. Really.  Many of them should actually be in prison.  You have never heard of most of them.  So I am going to turn over the country to a bunch of guys you never heard of – but who are incredible bad-ass negotiators.  These guys would sell their mother to the Devil if they could get a sweet deal out of it.  How great will that be?  We can negotiate with tough guys like Putin. You know, I eat guys like him for lunch.  Vlad, you want Crimea?  Okay, give us St. Petersburg and throw in Kamchatka to make it worth my while – I hear it’s very nice there in the summer.  We’ll build a golf course and let you play anytime for the twilight rate.  Deal done.  It’s that easy. 

We are going to have so many victories.  We are going to have so many victories!  Why? Because I am a winner.  I always win.  Even when I lose I win.  How great is that?  We are going to have so many victories, that you will get tired of winning.  Really! You will grow to hate winning.  You will be begging for a humiliating defeat.  Victory will be a dirty word.  By the time I am through with this country, everyone will utterly despise winning. 

Thank you Dallas for coming out tonight. I know I made your lives that much better just by mere presence.  Really, you should be thanking me.  Me and my hair.  Which is real by the way.  And beautiful.  You know the hair dressers love me too.  Even the gay ones. 

Well That Didn’t Take Long – Perry Advisor Jumps to Trump

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Sam Clovis, the former Iowa Chair for Rick Perry’s flagging campaign, has landed with Donald Trump and will serve as his national co-chairman and policy adviser.

“I had an opportunity to get to know Mr. Trump over the past several months. I have some close friends working on the campaign. It’s a great opportunity for me to effect change in Washington, and I think Mr. Trump is exactly the person to do that.”

Perry had attempted to separate himself from some of the other also-rans in the massive GOP field by directly attacking trump. That must make Clovis’ switch to the GOP front runner an even more bitter pill for the former Texas Governor to swallow. Perry’s perilous position was weakened by Clovis’ abrupt departure earlier this week. Clovis has indicated that Perry’s vocal criticism of Trump does not represent his views. Now with the Iowa power-broker firmly in Trump’s corner, the end of Perry’s political life seems inevitable. Despite a recent influx of cash, Perry’s campaign is still having trouble meeting payroll.

Rick’s Reeling Run

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Former Gov. Rick Perry’s quickly fading Presidential campaign took another hit on Monday with the departure of Sam Clovis, his Iowa campaign chairman. Clovis, a right-wing talk radio host, professor and failed U.S. Senate candidate gave warm regards to Perry, but left with the feeling that all is not right in the Perry camp.   “I feel bad for the campaign and I feel bad for Governor Perry because I think he’s a marvelous human being, he’s a great man and it was my honor to be a part of this, but it was just time to move on.”  Clovis indicated that the move to stop paying campaign staffers came as a surprise to him.  Other campaigns will likely be quick to snap up Clovis, who is considered to be one of the premier GOP political operatives in the state.

Clovis said he has been approached by “several” other campaigns since Perry stopped paying his staff earlier this month. He said he expects to be working for another candidate within days. “I’m going to go where there’s the best fit.”  Clovis considered working for  Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas), Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, Carly Fiorina and Donald Trump, before signing up with Perry.  Look for Clovis to settle in with either Cruz or Trump.

Wonder What Ted Thinks of The Donald Now?

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Sen. Ted “Canadian Bacon” Cruz (TP-Texas) has practically fallen over himself in his attempts to alternately praise and avoid criticizing Donald Trump.  One might think that Cruz was positioning for a Vice-Presidential nod from the Grand Old Party, but that clearly is not his style.  And anyone willing to take the firebrand Cruz on as a second banana certainly gets what he deserves.

But a new poll commissioned by a group called the Texas Bipartisan Justice Committee shows that Trump is eating at Cruz’s house.  The Florida-based Gravis Marketing firm conducted the poll.  And it’s really bad news for TC.  In June, Cruz sat at 20% in the Texas Politics Project poll.  Now Trump is at 24%, while Cruz is 8 points back with 16%.  What will Ted do?

It’s even worse for JEB!!!!$$$$$? who is in 4th place with 9% behind a guy whose brother and father didn’t pave the way to the White House for him.  Meanwhile Rick Perry’s flagging hopes took another hit.  In June, Perry was a respectable second with 12%.  He now polls at 4% in the state that he ruled for 14 years.  It now seems only a matter of time until the fat lady serenades Rick with a rousing “Adios Mofo.”

Texas Border Town Has Reasonable Response to Illegal Immigration

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While GOP frontrunner Donald Trump continues to bloviate and propose absurd solutions to the undocumented alien problems in our country, others are trying to do something about the humanitarian crisis that unrest and instability in Central America is creating on the southern border.  The Guardian takes a long look at how McAllen has responded to the large numbers of Central American refugees that have landed in their midst.

While Trump and his ilk want to wash their hands of the problem by constructing a supposedly impenetrable wall and deporting lawful U.S. citizens, the reality is that much of the current crisis has been caused by families and children fleeing the widespread drug gang violence in Nicaragua, El Salvador and Honduras.  And who is consuming those drugs?  And who is providing the guns that fuel the violence? Sensible drug law reform in the U.S. would go a long way towards solving the problem.  Stopping the flow of weapons into Mexico and Central America would probably help too. But that makes way too much sense to ever make into the Tea Party ranting that passes for public discourse in the GOP presidential battle currently being won by Trump.

Cruz Going After JEB!!!!$$$$$?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas), who has refused to criticize Donald Trump for attacking Mexicans, Gays, Weenies and  oh, my gosh Fox News, has finally found another GOP candidate that he is willing to use as a punching bag.  And it’s the doughy, sad sack, scion of the Bush dynasty – JEB!!!!$$$$$?  Cruz, who has refrained from uttering the dastardly accusation of being a RINO at JEB!!!!$$$$$?, is leaving that epithet for use by his supporters.  Cruz, however, is going after him with bacon-wrapped guns blazing. The Texas Tribune has the details.

Cruz, who wraps up his bus tour through the South today, has become increasingly critical of the former Florida governor “as a prime example of what’s ailing the GOP,” and his crowds are liking that message . . .

During campaign stops Monday and Tuesday in Tennessee and Mississippi, Cruz’s references to the former Florida governor, now a staple of the senator’s stump speech, often elicited loud booing, sometimes accompanied by scattered shouts of “Establishment!” or “RINO!” (Republican In Name Only). …

“We’re tired of losing,” Cruz said Tuesday when asked why he thought Bush’s name was drawing such strong reactions on the campaign trail. …

In an interview aboard his campaign bus Tuesday in Mississippi, Cruz praised Bush’s “candor” in a seemingly backhanded compliment.

“He has been quite candid in embracing amnesty, in embracing Common Core,” Cruz said. “Now those policy positions are dramatically out of step with Republican primary voters, but I have commended his courage of convictions that he sticks with his defense of amnesty and his defense of Common Core.”

Them’s Fighting Words.

Ted Cruz Really Likes this Guy

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) was recently quoted on his admiration for Donald Trump. “I like Donald Trump. I think he’s terrific, I think he’s brash, I think he speaks the truth,” Cruz said Tuesday morning on Fox News.

Now the New York Times has reported that Trump bashed John McCain’s war record and questioned his heroism.

Asked about Mr. McCain during an event on Saturday sponsored by an Iowa Christian conservative group, Mr. Trump said of Mr. McCain, a prisoner of war in Vietnam: “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.

Of course, Trump couldn’t be bothered to serve in Vietnam allegedly because of a bone spur in his foot. Funny thing – Trump can’t even remember which foot it was that kept him from serving his country.

If you like Trump and think he speaks the truth, then you are a scuzball – just like Trump, Sen. Cruz.