Tag Archives: Texas Sports

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 5

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“Football is not a contact sport; it’s a collision sport. Dancing is a good example of a contact sport.”

Duffy Daugherty

Apparently, Duffy never went into the mosh pit.

Red Rates Himself – Last week 4-2. For the season 18-6.

Your Fox(boro)trot Pick of the Week: Patriots over Cowboys. Okay, this game is actually in Arlington, but it might as well be in the friendly confines of Foxboro as far as the Patriots are concerned. The Patriots seem to be untouchable right now and Red expects that to last for another 4 or 5 games before they start to come back to earth. The Cowboys on the other hand have so many problems that Red doesn’t know where to start or how to stop grinning. If Red’s Texans are going to stink, the smell is slightly assuaged by an even bigger odor wafting down from the Metroplex. Don’t over analyze this one. The Pats are just better than everyone else right now and will lose only if they beat themselves. The Pats have been scoring at will, but at 49.5, Red likes the under this week. New England 31 Arlington 13.

Your Texas Two-Step Pick of the Week: Colts over Texans. This is painful for Red, but he has to call them as he sees them. As weak and pathetic as the Colts look(1-3), as sorry as A. Luck has been (31st in Total QB Rating ahead of only Alex Smith), as tired and old as Andre Johnson looks (0 receptions in last 2 games), as porous their bottom-tier defense looks (27th ranked), as non-existent as their rushing attack seems (more fumbles than touchdowns), and as ready for the picking as they will ever be, Red still can’t go there in the face of a Texans team that just plain sucks right now. Maybe Arian Foster will come around, maybe quarterback play will be acceptably mediocre, maybe the once-vaunted defense will show some spine, maybe the loss of the number 2 and 3 receivers won’t kill the passing attack, but that is a lot of maybes for a team that is lost in the woods.  This is a Pick ‘Em right now. Red picks the Colts. Indianapolis 13 Houston 9.

Your Do the Hustle Pick of the Week: Giants over 49ers. This week’s triple-forward time zone hex game is an easy pick even without the latent longitudinal bias working in favor of the Giants. The Niners are last in the league in passing offense. The NFL is a passing league. ‘Nuff said. Still Red wouldn’t touch Giants minus 7 with a 100 yard pole. New Jersey 27 Santa Clara 10.

You’re It Takes Two to Tango Pick of the Week: Bengals over Seahawks. Bengals want to play with the big boys – well, they get their chance this week. Red Rifle desperately needs a big game in a big game against a big time opponent. Check, check, check. Red calls the Bengals eking one out in the NFL Game of the Week. When the Bengals win this one, watch out – Red will call the Bengals to go 13-3 and may have to file an amended pre-season Superb Owl prediction. Cincinnati 29 Seattle 27.

Your Pennsylvania Polka Pick of the Week: Eagles over Saints. Saints proved they could beat a crippled Cowboys team last week. This week they face an Eagles squad that may finally be getting some legs underneath it.   A Chip Kelly team is not going to remain in the bottom quartile of NFL offenses for the entire season. This could be the break out game. However, if the Eagles cannot beat the Saints at home, then watch out, the whiskey bottles will be flying in Philly. It’s a hefty 49.5, but take the over, over, over. Philadelphia 45 New Orleans 27.

Your Can-Can Pick of the Week: Jaguars over Buccaneers. This week’s Shit Bowl feature two regular denizens of these Foul Floridian Fecal Fights. Who will stink worse this week, Blake Bortles or Jameis Winston? Red can only feign interest for so long.   Child proof the house lest ye be tempted to add some Drano to your Margarita to end the misery if you dare watch more than 5 minutes of this one. Jacksonville 17 Tampa Bay 13.

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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This week the brilliant schedulers have a Thursday night match-up between SMU and University of Houston at lovely but usually empty TDECU Stadium (it just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it).  This normally would not matter much as the Cougars are clearly an afterthought on the Houston sports scene these days.  But the Houston Texans are also playing the Indianapolis Colts Thursday night in Houston.  Not only will no one be at the game, no one will be watching it either.  But they might just miss a good one.  The Dallas Morning News reports that the cocky Cougars are reported to have taped Mustang jerseys to the floor of the locker room so that they can walk on them all week. That’s just the sort of thing that can occasionally result in a come-uppance for a superior team.  There is absolutely no rational reason to think that the 1-3 Ponies can come into Houston and upset a team that is averaging 48 points and over 600 yards a game and is on the verge of its first Top 25 ranking in years.  UH quarterback Greg Ward is starting to get Heisman talk and while everyone focuses on the high-flying UH offense under new head coach Tom Herman, the Cougar defense has shown some mettle against a quality opponent like Louisville.  Well, all that isn’t going to deter Red from picking the upset here.  SMU 37 UH 31.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 4

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“However, there are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team’s goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the football occasionally.”

Alfred Hitchcock.

Red Rates Himself – Last week 6-0. For the season 14-4. Boy Howdy!

Your North by Northwest Pick of the Week: Seahawks over Lions. Matt Stafford better strap ‘em on tight for this one. Seahawks feast on immobile overrated quarterbacks who are 0-3 and desperate. Seattle has a chance to right the ship and post at least a 2-2 mark against the NFC North. Even with the Beast possibly out, the Hawks have just enough offense in the tank to win what may be a closer than expected match-up of two underperforming teams. All that said it would not particularly surprise or displease Red to see Pete’s Pack at 1-3 and looking at a long difficult road to January. Stick with the under on this one. Seattle 13 Detroit 10.

Your Suspicion Pick of the Week: Raiders over Bears. Is it wrong for Red to pick on the Bears for an easy one in the “W” column every week? Yeah, but remember that Red has been on the Raiders bandwagon since the beginning of the season. Latavius Murray is looking like an All-Pro so far and the Lil’ Carr-Amari Cooper connection is working well enough to have the Raiders in the playoff hunt already. Those are words that not a lot of your professional prognosticators are willing to throw around just yet. Red aint scared. Meanwhile, Bears could hardly look worse having been outscored more than 2-1 in their first three games while posting a mighty four touchdowns. Look for the Raiders to mop the field with the Bears on Sunday. Oakland 33 Chicago 6.

Your Psycho Pick of the Week: Jaguars over Colts. Needs no explanation. Jacksonville 17 Indianapolis 6.

You’re The Wrong Man Pick of the Week: Chargers over Browns. Reports are that 3 Browns players were complaining that John F. Football should be the starting QB. Reports also are that 50 other players vehemently disagree. JFF is definitely your man if you have a couple of wide receivers who can pluck his thrown up for grabs wounded ducks out of the air against an also-ran secondary. McCown is your man if you like consistent mediocrity and semi-competent game management. In other words, for the Clowns it doesn’t really matter who is taking snaps. Meanwhile in Chargerland, if their offense can’t exploit the Browns awful defense at home in the balmy warmth of Southern California, it’s going to be a long cold season. San Dieago 34 Cleveland 13.

Your Foreign Correspondent Pick of the Week: Jets over Dolphins. Red would like to see a game at Wembly someday, but he hopes it will be a Champions League Final with Barcelona and Tottenham Hotspur, not this week’s Shit Bowl (Red admits that he is uncertain exactly how to translate Shit Bowl into English English). Don’t let this one interrupt your Sunday morning coffee and bagel. Resist the temptation to pour that cup of hot joe over your head before you switch over at half-time to watch the Arsenal-Man U match on NBCSN. Wake Red up when this doleful dung duel is over. New Jersey 24 Miami 21.

You’re Notorious Pick of the Week: Falcons over Texans. Last week Red commented that if he kept picking the Texans he will eventually get it right. Well he did, but Red isn’t pushing his luck on backing the Texans. Falcons are looking very real and the Texans aren’t the type of team that exposes the underlying falsity of a pretender. Julio Jones is on track to be MVP – except that if he stays on that track – the award will go to Matty Ice. That’s just the way it is in the NFL. Texans’ defense continues to disappoint in all categories except perhaps giving up stupid touchdowns. That won’t do it against the high-flying Falcons.  Atlanta 32 Houston 17.

Red is not picking the Cowboys/Saints game this week because Las Vegas has pulled the line. If the pros won’t pick it, then neither will Red.

Sticking With the Astros Choke Watch

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Red’s lack of confidence seems to inspire them.

Astros are currently 2.5 games behind the hated Texas Rangers and 0.5 games ahead of the California Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, Los Angeles or the General Vicinity of Southern California.

Magic Numbers:

7 to clinch AL West – it still aint gonna happen

4 to clinch Wildcard Playoff spot – winning the last 3 would guarantee a Game 163. 

Red’s Texas College Football Game of the Week

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This week Red features the oldest extant rivalry in Texas college football – the aptly named “Battle of the Piney Woods” between the Stephen F. Austin State University Lumberjacks and Sam Houston State University Bearkats.  Heading into the 90th meeting, SHSU leads the series 53-35-2.  SHSU has been the dominant team for the better part of a decade with a shot at the FCS national title in recent years.

Since 2007, the winner has hauled away a 21-pound solid tombstone shaped pinewood trophy that somewhat bizarrely displays replica pistols. The logos from both universities are engraved on the handle of the pistols above name plates that will display the outcomes of the contest for the next two decades.   Previously, a pair of Colt Walker Pistols were awarded to the winning team, but the pistols have vanished.  Perhaps, just as well.

The 12th ranked Bearkats roll into NRG stadium in Houston with a 1-2 record having posted a very respectable score in a closer than expected 59-45 loss to Texas Tech and losing a heartbreaker to an up and coming Lamar team 49-46.  They mopped the floor with pathetic newcomer Houston Baptist last week.  Look for the Bearkats to be loaded for bear with their powerful offense taking charge.  SHSU averages an astounding 635.3 yards total offense and 51.3 points per game.  The Bearkats rank No. 1 among FCS teams in scoring, No. 2 in passing offense and No. 10 in rushing offense.

In contrast, SFA comes in at 0-4 with the season lowlight so far being the 70-7 butt-whipping put on them by the TCU Horned Frogs in Fort Worth.  There really isn’t much to say as this really just isn’t a very good football team right now.  They could turn it all around with a win this big rivalry game – but Red isn’t going there.

Red calls it for the Bearkats over the Lumberjacks by a “We’re Leaving Early to Get a Cold One” score of 57 -13.  Let’s hope the roof is open.

Astros Choke Watch is Back

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After blowing it last night against the lowly Mariners, the Astros are now currently 2.5 games behind the hated Texas Rangers. But more importantly, are now 0.5 games behind the Somewhere in the General Vicinity of Southern California and possibly in Anaheim Angels for the last Wildcard spot.  This is first time that the Astros have been out of a playoff spot in over 5 months.

Magic Numbers:

8 to clinch AL West  – It aint gonna happen folks.

6 to clinch a Wildcard Playoff berth – Now needing serious help.

Could the Angels just lose a game every once in a while?

Wake Red Up for the 4th Quarter

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The long-term trend for college football games is just that – go to a game and you are in for the long-term.  The average length of an average college football game is creeping towards 3:30 with perhaps as many as 20 games this year stretching to an intolerable 4 hours.  If you think that’s bad, the problem seems to be descending to lower levels of the sport.  Red attended a high school game 3 weeks ago that lasted 3:45!  And they play 12 minute quarters.  That didn’t stop the first quarter from lasting an hour.  It wasn’t helped by the fact that the refs called 62 penalties including two when one of the teams was taking a knee to run out the clock at the end of the game.  Really?  Don’t get Red wrong, he likes his football alright, but who has 4 hours to waste on something other than golf?  The Wall Street Journal details the decline in timeliness of America’s still favorite sport.

As Red has said many times, “the best thing about soccer – 2 hours.”