While much of the media is focused on who won or lost, Red believes that, much like U6 Soccer, everyone who shows up deserves a participation award. So in no particular order, Red gives the following awards to the participants in last night’s GOP debate:
Jeb!!!!$$$$? – The Why am I Even Here and Not Already Been Proclaimed President Award
Ted Cruz – The Angriest Man Alive Award
John Kasich – The Hopelessly Rational Human Stuck in a Lunatic Asylum Award
Donald Trump – The “Fuck You” Money Award
Mike Huckabee – The Just Damn Glad to be Here and Insult Fat People Award
Ben Carson – The Smooth Jazz FM Radio Deejay Award
Chris Christie – The I Can’t Believe I’m Losing to These Guys Award
Carly Fiorina – The Sure I Was an Incompetent CEO but With Enough Lies People Will Forget Award
Marco Rubio – The Vote for Me Because I’m Not Yet Tired and Old Like Bush Award
Rand Paul – The Really, We Almost Forgot You Were There Award
GOP Debate Bingo Card from USA Today.
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