Author Archives: Red from Texas

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About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

Gov. Abbott Visits Cuba – For Dinner and a Floor Show

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Gov. Greg Abbott (TP-Texas) embarked on a supposed trade mission to Cuba and apparently accomplished little other than having a nice dinner and taking in a floor show.  According to the pool report filed by a Texas reporter traveling with Abbott, the governor dined and watched a concert at a high-end private restaurant in the Miramar section of Havana on Monday evening.

On Tuesday, Abbott visited Cuba’s new Mariel port and free trade zone.  Abbott’s group was told by Cuban officials that the U.S. trade embargo – which Congress has refused to lift despite normalization of relations between the two countries – meant there was no opportunity for U.S. businesses to invest there.

Abbott told the officials that “Texas has an abundance of (rice and other commodities) and a very easy ability to export from Texas to Cuba,” according to the pool report.   The Cuban officials indicated that the island nation would continue to buy rice from other sources until the U.S. allowed the country to buy on credit, a measure currently prohibited by the embargo.

Despite the bad news, sources tell Red that the excellent flan and expresso Abbott was served after his fancy meal made the entire trip worthwhile and a really good deal for Texas taxpayers.

Texas High School Football Score of the Week

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The Crowell Wildcats defeated the Garden City Bearcats 94-86 on Monday in a weather-postponed game.  So if you had the under at 179, you lost!  The two teams combined for an incredible 1339 yards of total offense – and that is on an 80 yard field playing 10 minute quarters.

Crowell kept its dream of a third consecutive state Class A Championship alive.  The scoring started slowly with the game tied at 8-8 after the first quarter.  Garden City led by 2 at halftime, but the Wildcats ran wild scoring 56 points in the second and third quarters. Garden City attempted a comeback of their own with a 40 point fourth quarter, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the powerful Crowell attack.  The game wasn’t finally decided until Garden City failed to convert an onside kick with 49 seconds left.

Crowell will move on to the state semifinals against the 13-0 Borden Coyotes. The Wildcats lost to Borden 58-48 in the first game of the season, so Crowell will be looking to avenge their early season loss and return to the State Championship game.  Somewhere, the ghost of Dick Todd is smiling.

TheUSDaily has game highlights.

Red’s NFL Picks – Week 13

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“Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.”

Peyton Manning

The only pressure PM is feeling these days is the pressure on his ass from the bench on which he is riding.

Red Rates Himself – For week 11 Red was 2-4. For the season 42-24. Good thing Red took week 12 off.

Your Too Much Pressure Pick of the Week: Falcons over Buccaneers. The Falcons just can’t handle success and clearly at risk of letting another season slip away – albeit in a different fashion this year. After a hot start the Falcons are 1-5 over their last 6 games having not scored more than 21 points during that stretch. The close loss to the Bucs at home on Nov. 1 started the current string of 4 losses in a row. Either the Falcons exact revenge for that one or their playoff hopes take a huge hit on Sunday. The Bucs have been up and down and unable to string together exactly one 2 game winning streak against the dregs of the NFC East (Eagles and Cowboys). Doug Martin has resurrected his career and Jameis Winston is looking like he can develop into a real starting QB in the NFL. The winner of this one doesn’t have an inside track to a wildcard playoff spot just yet, but the loser is definitely in trouble. This game hinges on the return of fantasy football star Devonta Freeman. Red is betting that he passes the NFL’s concussion protocol this week and is back punishing linebackers. Still this one is too close to call for a betting man. Atlanta 23 Tampa Bay 20.

Your Pressure Cooker Pick of the Week: Texans over Bills. Red is concerned that actually picking the Texans is the kiss of death. But the Texans should have this game in the pocket if only they can keep Tyrod Taylor in the pocket. The Bills do have a respectable running game, but the Texans front 7 has suddenly turned the corner. Since Lamar Miller burned them for 175 yards on Oct. 25, the Texans have pretty much shut down every running back they have faced. The weather does not appear to be a factor and the Texans will grind out a close one here. Red likes the under on this one at 42.   Houston 17 Orchard Park 13.

Your Pressure Drop, Oh Pressure, I Say Pressure Gonna Drop on You Pick of the Week: Vikings over Seahawks.   Against his better judgment, Red picked the Seahawks to get in as a wildcard. And they would be in if the season ended today. Red was barely sentient during the last 12 game NFL season, but he bets it was nice having the NFL championship game played sometime before spring break. Red also picked the Vikings who are looking to knock off the Packers and start a new era of Purple Pride. Since the mysterious loss to the 49ers in week one, the Vikings have beat all comers save for the Pack. They get another shot in the last game of the season. Red was pretty convinced Teddy Ballgame was the real deal when he excelled in the last 6 games of the 2014 without scrubs and dregs in the backfield. With AP, who is a real running back, defensive minded head coach Mike Zimmer is just not letting (or more likely having to let) Teddy throw the ball much at all. You beat the Seahawks with a punishing running game that then opens up their secondary to the deep ball – and Teddy can throw deep when he needs to. Look for some big plays in this one. Right now this one is a pick’em and Red picks the Vikings.   Minnesota 35 Seattle 21.

You’re Anal Pressure Pick of the Week: OTNA’s over Cowboys. Putting the OTNA’s in this week’s Shit Bowl is a little unfair. They are a first place team – even if it is the Pathetic Excuse for a Professional Football Division that is the NFC East. But almost any time two teams from the PEFPFD meet, being slated for the Shit Bowl is fair game. Red was watching the Cowboys get drubbed by the Panthers while finishing up preparations for the Thanksgiving meal and kept thinking – Why is Tony Romo still in this game? He just came back from a long rehab and this game is out of hand. He is just going to get injured and then the Cowboys season will really be over. And guess what? Anyhow, Red feels bad that he wasn’t around last week to give loyal readers the dead cinch lock of the season by taking the Panthers plus 1. So he gives you this one as the dead cinch lock of the week. Take the resurgent OTNA’s and give up whatever points you have to give up. The Cowboys are staggering around looking for a place to fall and it will be face down in the turf at FedEx Field on Monday. I am sure the league is very happy that they scheduled the Cowboys to play in 11 nationally televised games (including this dreadful dung duel) this season. Take the Skins minus 4 or minus 25 if you have to. Landover, Md 45 Arlington 3.

Your Pressure Washer Pick of the Week: Patriots over Eagles. Speaking of staggering around looking for a place to fall can only lead to a discussion of the heaping mound of refuse that the Eagles have become. Red is in awe of a coach that can take a real professional football team and remake them into a lifeless lump of losers. Then you have the coach on the other side that loses player after player and just keeps on winning. This one will be closer than it should be. But really, who do you want to bet on? Take the Pats unless you have to give up more than 9 which you undoubtedly will. New England 24 Philadelphia 14.

You’re a Pressure Points Pick of the Week: Stealers over Colts.   Red, you ask, “Aren’t most 40 year old men sitting on their living room couch on Sunday watching young men ruin their bodies for the pleasure of others?” Yes, Timmy, that’s usually a correct statement. But Billy, every once in a while there comes a player, a George Blanda, a Vinny Testaverde, a Sonny Jurgenson, who somehow manages to cheat the hands of time and play well past the normal expiration date. And Willy, we appear to have one of those on our hands this season in the form of Matt Hasselbeck. Translated from the Old German “Hasselbeck” actually means “elderly watermelon chucker.” So Danny, perhaps it was fate that put much of the Colts season in the hands of the ageless wonder from Colorado via Boston College. Meanwhile, Chuck “the Duck” Pagano claims that MH will not replace faltering Andrew Luck at QB for the Colts. This despite the fact that MH has won 4 of the 6 games for the Colts this season while Luck has just plain sucked in several of his starts. In fairness, Louie, the Colts best win -against the Broncos – came with AL at the helm and MH has feasted on the defensive dregs of the league. So if Chuck wants to go back to Luck, more power to him. The winner of this one has the inside track to a Wildcard spot. The loser is playing for time. Games like this are dangerous. Red has consulted the Magic Golf Ball which says “Sell.” Red is staying away. Pittsburgh 20 Indianapolis 12.

 

 

 

 

 

Ted Cruz Confused?

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Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) was pontificating on the recent shooting rampage at a Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood facility while campaigning in Iowa on Sunday.  When asked about the accused killer Robert Lewis Dear, Cruz claimed that the media wanted “to blame him on the pro-life movement when at this point there’s very little evidence to indicate that.”

When a reporter told Cruz that Dear is alleged to have yelled out “no more baby parts” after his arrest Cruz responded, “Well, it’s also been reported that he was registered as an independent and a woman and transgendered leftist activist, if that’s what he is.”  Cruz was probably talking about a report from a right-wing blog, that uncovered a Colorado state voter registration form which lists Dear’s sex as female.

So in Ted Cruz’s topsy-turvy world having your sex recorded incorrectly on a voter registration card potentially makes you into a “transgendered leftist activist” that attacks PP facilities.

Cruz tells a different tale  about the Black Lives Matter movement – claiming that BLM activists are “literally suggesting and embracing and celebrating the murder of police officers.” Cruz went on to claim, “If you look at the Black Lives Matter movement, one of the most disturbing things is more than one of their protests have embraced rabid rhetoric, rabid anti-police language, literally suggesting and embracing and celebrating the murder of police officers. That is disgraceful.”

Cruz has no such words for his pro-life supporters who have advocated violence.  Their escalating rhetoric apparently does not faze the Tea Party favorite at all.  Cruz proudly touted the endorsement of Troy Newman who has repeatedly advocated for the defense of justifiable homicide for killers of abortion providers and called for the U.S. to execute abortion providers as murderers.  “We need leaders like Troy Newman,” according to Cruz.   MediaMatters has the details on Newman’s incendiary rhetoric.

Today in Texas History – December 1

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From the Annals of Broadway – In 1913, Mary Martin, star of stage and screen,  was born in Weatherford, Texas.  Martin was encouraged to perform in local theater as a child and began voice lessons at age twelve. Her first success was on Broadway in Cole Porter’s Leave It To Me . Martin sang the show-stopper “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” and was an instant hit with Broadway audiences. Although she appeared in at least 10 films, Martin’s greatest success came in musical theatre – starring in productions of South Pacific , Peter Pan , The Sound of Music, and I Do, I Do among many others.

#AskJerryJones

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The NFL Network created a hashtag – #AskJerryJones – seeking to solicit questions for the publicity hound Dallas Cowboys owner and general manager.  What could possibly go wrong with that?  It turns out, just about everything.  Find out for yourself at #askjerryjones.   Red’s personal favorite –

Mike Gessner ‏@calbears96 Nov 25

if you could go back in time and murder baby Hitler, would you do it or sign him as a defensive back?

Followed closely by –

#1 Cat Step-dad™ ‏@moleloco Nov 25

Which prisons do you plan on visiting in the off-season looking for new players?

Why Red Plays Golf and Other Thoughts on Life, Cont.

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Red, as they say, is no spring chicken.  A few years ago he could still play soccer – albeit with the players on the U10 team he was coaching – but the lines on the curves crossed and soon it was best to watch from the sidelines during practice.  So as to competitive sports, the options were considerably narrowed.

Thinking himself still a bit too young for shuffleboard, Red continued playing golf and even surprised himself at times with a respectable round here and there.  The good rounds are fun, but golf is mostly in the doing.  Too much of life is watching – movies, football games, theatre, music and other events.  Red likes to be the one doing and golf – however ultimately pointless it may seem – consists almost entirely of doing.  Yes, there is the camaraderie and exercise – Red likes to walk the course whenever possible and challenges any normal human over age 45 to go out and walk 18 on a steamy August afternoon and tell him they aren’t just a little bit tired afterwards.  But mostly, it is the doing of golf – picking the right club, making the correct swing, lining up the putt properly –  all while attempting to craft a decent score on the hole that you are playing.  Golf at its best consists entirely of that improbable  moment when Red takes a crooked stick and makes a small white ball do exactly what he wants in the garden that is any particular golf hole.

And finally there is this – on any given hole on any given day, Red can do better than the absolutely best athletes in the sport.  That could have never happened on a basketball court with NBA players; but it could happen at Pebble Beach where with a respectable drive and a well-placed 7-iron Red might just have a better score than Phil Mickelson on the par-4 16th.  And just like that, Red takes a skin from Lefty.  How sweet would that be?

Today in Texas History – November 30

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From the Annals of Lawlessness –  In 1890, Texas pioneer and author John H. Jenkins was killed in a gunfight in Bastrop.  Jenkins was attempting to save his son, the County Sheriff, from an ambush when he was shot down.  Jenkins had moved to Texas as a young boy with his family eventually settling on the banks of the Colorado near present-day Bastrop.  After his father was mysteriously killed while working his fields, Jenkins became the ward of Edward Burleson.  Jenkins joined the Texas revolution at age 13 fighting in Burleson’s First Regiment of the Texas Volunteers.  He is reputed to have been the youngest Texian soldier in the San Jacinto campaign although he was not present at the battle having been dispatched to aid his mother and siblings escape from the advancing Mexican armies.  He later served in the Texas Rangers and with the Confederate Army in the Civil War.  Jenkins is best known for his well-written and colorful memoir – Recollections of Early Texas – published by the University of Texas Press in 1958.

Texas Woman Wants Her Father’s Film of JFK Assassination Back

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Gayle Nix Jackson has sued the National Archives and Records Administration seeking the original film taken by her grandfather Orville Nix in Dealey Plaza on November 22, 1963.  Nix gave the film to the UPI news agency with the stipulation that it would be returned after 25 years.  The film, though less famous than the Zapruder footage, does show part of the assassination of JFK.  Jackson said her grandfather’s film shows Zapruder across the street and the grassy knoll –  where some witnesses claimed they heard at least one shot fired.  The film was obtained by the Warren Commission and then never returned.

Unbelievably, no one seems to know where the original film is now located.  Jackson believes that NARA has it because it is in possession of most of the Warren Commission materials.  The lawsuit says the agency has told Jackson that it does not have the film.