Author Archives: Red from Texas

Unknown's avatar

About Red from Texas

I'm proud to be Red. I have lived most of my life in Texas and I love this place. Here are a few things you should know about me. 1. I am happily married and intend to stay so. 2. I live in a house that is older than you, unless you are really old. 3. I own 2 rifles and a shotgun. I think handguns are just trouble. 4. I have never killed a man, but have taken out some deer and hogs. 5. I was a good student, but never close to being valedictorian. 6. In no particular order I like the Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs, Houston Astros, FC Barcelona, Tottenham Hotspur, Texas Longhorns and Houston Dynamo. 7. I hate Dallas but always have a good time when I go there. 8. I was a Dallas Cowboys fan for 26 years but declared that I was no longer a fan during the 1987 strike. 9. I don't own any pets. I like cats, and a good dog and I have met at least 3 of them in my lifetime. 10. I think the best part of Texas is west of I-35. 11. I own two pairs of cowboy boots, but don't wear them very often. 12. I don't have a pronounced Texas accent, but can affect one when needed. 13. My last meal would be fried shrimp with tartar sauce, a baked potato with all the fixins', a dinner salad with 1000 Island dressing, yeast rolls and chocolate fudge pie for dessert. 14. I'm an old Dad, but my children are none of your business. 15. I have two degrees from UT-Austin and somehow managed to fall in love with and marry an Aggie. 16. Most of my family are right-wing nut jobs but I love them anyway. 17. When I get to play golf on a regular basis, I shoot in the low 80's. 18. I don't get to play golf on a regular basis. 19. I think Fort Worth is the best town in Texas by a long shot. 20. I have a mean herb garden. Regards, Red P.S. Remember it's not a color, it's a state of mind.

One Year of Blogging

5 Replies

Red celebrates his first anniversary of blogging today.  Red has spent much of the time learning how to keep his ear to the ground, not follow the masses too much, and carefully pick a few topics each day to give his particular spin to.  In the limited time that Red has to devote to this enterprise, he does try to get your attention and maybe make you think a little differently about this beautiful, great and definitely bizarre at times place called Texas.

Red is the first to admit that picking up readers and followers has been harder than expected and he had not met his targets after one year.  But it is pretty darn cool that someone in Uzbekistan would even bother to check out what Red has to say. So undiscouraged and ignoring the signposts of failure, the blogging will continue.  Red knows you won’t always agree with him, but hopes that you at least find this blog occasionally interesting.

Red would like to thank Charles Kuffner of Off the Kuff and Katy Anders of the strangely insightful FascistDykeMotors blog for their comments and support during the past year.  Red also thanks that Brazilian guy or gal who checked in almost every day for the first several months of operation.  Sometimes Red felt like he was blogging just for you.

Muchas gracias amigos,

Red

Cricket Season is Almost Here

Leave a reply

Red remembers walking around the Capitol Building on a hot September night many years ago and it seemed the whole façade was swarming with crickets.  Red had flashbacks to that invasion of the giant grasshoppers movie that scared the living daylights out of him on one of his first sleepovers.  The experts claim that conditions might be just right for another massive cricket invasion in the next few weeks.  KXAN has the details.

 It’s the time of year when people will hear more chirping as crickets start to pop up around Central Texas.  “The best indication of a cricket outbreak is past history and in the past, Texas has experienced big cricket outbreaks,” explained Alex Wild, Curator of Entomology at the University of Texas. He said those outbreaks in past years happened when there was a lot of food for crickets to eat, followed by a dry summer and then rain at the end of summer.

“Only time can tell, it looks like it might be a good season, but until we see the washes of crickets piling up on our porches, it’s going to be hard to predict,” said Wild.

Exterminators like Joe Cantu, Vice President of Operations for Bug Master, said they tend to see more cricket activity between August and September. “It’s one of those pests where nobody wants to have around. It’s a nuisance pest, they’re overwhelming, they really smell, so the phone starts ringing,” said Cantu.

Experts suggest people control the lighting around their homes and businesses because crickets are attracted to the lights at night. Cantu said the critters will harbor in cracks and crevices during the day. “If you see them during the day pretty active, that’s a big problem,” said Cantu. “There’s a heavy pressure of crickets if you start seeing a lot of them during the day.”

“I don’t know what people’s issues are with crickets, I personally find them charming, but generally I don’t think businesses like having insects washed up in big numbers around their entrances,” said Wild.  “Sometimes if they’re are enough of them, they’ll pile up after mating when they’re at the end of their life cycle, they’ll just pile up and the bodies will pile up and that can lead to some pretty bad smells.”  Wild said crickets are, “harmless animals, they don’t bite or sting, it’s mainly just the nuisance of having things around that you weren’t expecting.”

One place where they may be unexpected are football games where the crickets are attracted to the lights.  “They might have just wanted to see the game but I’m not going to speak for the crickets,” said Wild jokingly.

Photo from Premium Crickets  – who knew?

Today in Texas History – September 15

Leave a reply

From the Annals of Freedom – In 1829, President Vicente Guerrero of the Republic of Mexico issued the Guerrero Decree which abolished slavery throughout Mexico except in the Isthmus of Tehuantepec. The decree was not known in Texas until October 16.   Ramón Músquiz, who headed the Department of Texas, withheld its publication because it violated colonization laws which guaranteed the settlers security for their persons and property.  Nonetheless, news of the decree aroused fear in Texas that slavery would be outlawed.  Texas petitioned Guerrero for an exemption.  On December 2, Agustín Viesca, Mexican minister of relations, announced that no change would be made respecting the status of slavery in Texas.  The Guerrero Decree was a root cause of the Texas Revolution as many Texas colonists believed that slavery would ultimately be outlawed and were willing to fight to preserve the institution.

Trump Takes Texas by Storm

5 Replies

GOP Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump spoke to a crowd of approximately 15,000 in Dallas last night.  Here are some excerpts from the speech.

Wow!  Thank you for coming out tonight to see me – but who wouldn’t want to see me? Really?  Everyone loves me.  The women love me.  The Mexicans love me.  The Jews love me.  The Red Necks love me.  Jesus loves me.  After all, I am the most amazing human who has ever walked the face of this planet.  Not that I walk that much.  I usually ride in a golf cart.  And by the way, that walking on water thing – I taught Jesus that one.  Jesus, nice guy  – son of man and all – but he was no one until he came to see me. 

I have so much energy.  I never run out of energy. It’s ridiculous how much energy I have. You could run the entire state of Texas solely on the energy generated from my farts.  Which by the way, don’t even stink. How amazing is that?  And Jeb!, nice guy – but low energy guy – you can’t even run your refrigerator with his flatulence. 

And that other Texas guy, Ted Cruz.  Nice guy.  Nice Canadian guy.  By the way, the Canadians love me too.  More energy than Jeb!  You might be able to run a decent sized subdivision on Ted’s ass gas.  But really, that’s nothing like the kind of energy that I can generate.  Ted, hmmm.  Too bad I am going to have to squash him like a bug. 

And Hillary, by the way, never farts.  Never. How can you trust someone who never farts?  I fart all the time.  I wake up farting.  My farts will make this country great again.

Here in Texas you know about the illegal immigration.  There are probably some illegal aliens in this arena tonight. And you know what, they love me too!  But I am going to fix this.  I am going to build a wall – a real wall.  It will be very wall-like. Extremely wall-like.  You know the Chinese built that Great Wall and it’s 13,000 miles long.  This wall won’t be that long – but it will be even greater.  And much taller. A tall wall. Taller than my hair. I’m thinking two or three thousand feet tall.  Go try and buy a ladder at Home Depot that will scale that wall!  Yeah, Where can I find the two thousand foot extension ladders?  Sorry, out of stock!  This wall will be beautiful – everything I build is beautiful.  I am beautiful and people love me for my beauty.  And there will be a beautiful door in the wall to let the good people through.  Because the good people love me too!

I am a deal maker.  I make deals.  I know the toughest negotiators in the world.  Most of them are awful, despicable, disgusting humans. Really.  Many of them should actually be in prison.  You have never heard of most of them.  So I am going to turn over the country to a bunch of guys you never heard of – but who are incredible bad-ass negotiators.  These guys would sell their mother to the Devil if they could get a sweet deal out of it.  How great will that be?  We can negotiate with tough guys like Putin. You know, I eat guys like him for lunch.  Vlad, you want Crimea?  Okay, give us St. Petersburg and throw in Kamchatka to make it worth my while – I hear it’s very nice there in the summer.  We’ll build a golf course and let you play anytime for the twilight rate.  Deal done.  It’s that easy. 

We are going to have so many victories.  We are going to have so many victories!  Why? Because I am a winner.  I always win.  Even when I lose I win.  How great is that?  We are going to have so many victories, that you will get tired of winning.  Really! You will grow to hate winning.  You will be begging for a humiliating defeat.  Victory will be a dirty word.  By the time I am through with this country, everyone will utterly despise winning. 

Thank you Dallas for coming out tonight. I know I made your lives that much better just by mere presence.  Really, you should be thanking me.  Me and my hair.  Which is real by the way.  And beautiful.  You know the hair dressers love me too.  Even the gay ones. 

Song of the Day

Leave a reply

Red heard this classic Red Neck anthem on the way home last Friday and thought, “We haven’t had a song of the day in quite some time.”

So enjoy Beer Bait and Ammo from the debut album of the same name by Kevin Fowler.  All Music Guide described the song as “somewhat of a Texas anthem” with both Sammy Kershaw and George Jones recording cover versions.

Today in Texas History – September 14

Leave a reply

From the Annals of the Assassins –  In 1859, Indian Agent Robert Simpson Neighbors was assassinated by Edward Cornett. As a Federal Indian Agent for the Comanches, he employed the “field system” which involved actually visiting the Indians in their homes, and learning their language and culture. This was unique for its time and likely criticized by white settlers as Neighbors spent much time far beyond the then frontier.  However, in the opinion of many historians, Neighbors exercised greater influence over the Indians in Texas than any other white man of his generation.  As with Sam Houston he was one of the few white men to bother to learn Indian languages and almost uniquely would travel to the heart of the feared Comancheria.  Despite many relocations of the tribes, white settlers and renegade bands were still in conflict.  Neighbors was dedicated to protecting the “surrendered” tribes from attacks by the settlers.  As a result, Neighbors had become hated among white Texans because of his support for the tribes.

The events leading to his death concerned the Penateka Comanches who were settled on the Comanche Indian Reservation on the  Clear Fork of the Brazos River near present day Throckmorton.  Neighbors alleged that the Army officers from Fort Belknap and Camp Cooper near the reservations, failed to give adequate support to him and his resident agents, and adequate protection to the Indians and settlers alike.  With some justification, the Army and settlers believed the reservation Indians were committing continuing raids on white settlements.

John R. Baylor, the former Comanche agent, led the opposition to Neighbors and the reservation policy.  Baylor blamed Neighbors for his dismissal and resented him bitterly.  With the aid of federal troops, Neighbors managed to protect the Indians on the reservations, successfully thwarting an attack in May of 1859 by Baylor and 250 marauders.  The raid convinced Neighbors that the Comanches would never be safe in Texas and in August he succeeded in moving 1420 Indians, without loss of life, to a new reservation in the Indian Territory.  Attacked while returning to Texas, Neighbor’s party headed for Fort Belknap.  Neighbors proceeded to the nearby village of Belknap the next morning to “wind up his accounts as superintendent of Indian affairs”, where while speaking with two men, he was shot in the back by Edward Cornett.

Why do the Job You Were Elected to do When You Can Feel the Excitement of JEB!!!!$$$$?

Leave a reply

The Houston Chronicle details how Land Commissioner George P. Bush seems to be more interested in helping JEB!!!!$$$$? than in doing his job.  Questions about Bush’s commitment to the job were asked during his campaign – with the assumption that the Bush scion already had his eye on bigger things.

Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush has been out of the state or otherwise off of work nearly half of the time since his father entered the GOP race for president, records show, raising questions about whether the scion is fulfilling his pledge to remain focused on his first elected office.

Personal time – both related to the presidential race and for other reasons – took the commissioner away for the equivalent of 23 of the first 50 work days after father Jeb Bush announced his bid on June 15, according to a Houston Chronicle analysis of records obtained under the Public Information Act. The total includes 15 full days off and dozens of smaller chunks of time off on other work days that add up to eight more days.

It is impossible to tell exactly how much of the time off was spent campaigning, because the commissioner’s official calendar does not say what he did in those hours. Social media posts indicate he spent a significant amount of it on the trail, however, speaking at his father’s announcement in Florida, publicly stumping for him in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada, headlining a fundraiser in Texas and attending a campaign staff retreat in Maine.